Y/N: Loki, are you a snake?

Loki: I believe that I am not

Tony: He is

Thor: He's more like a bilgesnipe

Y/N: What is that?

Thor: It's ... kind of like a mammoth

Bruce: From very very far away

Loki: And I am not one

Thor: I say you are, brother

Tony: I maintain that he's the snake

Loki: How many times must I apologise for throwing you off your tower?

Loki: And ruining your carpets and your sanity and possibly one of your daughters

Tony: WHAT FTHFI JKGIFUKBIKHL YIFJK

Loki: I DIDNOT WRIGHT THAT I AM HAUNTED

Clint: Haunted by your relatioonship with Y/N?

Clint: 😎😎😎

Y/N: CLINT SHUT UP

Clint: Why, isn't it true?

Pietro: EVIL

Clint: It's hilarious how you take her side, even though I know you're jeloaloys and disapproving

Pietro: *jealous

Steve: Hi, Wanda

Tony: Was that a joke?

Y/N: OH OH MY GOD OH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

Loki: Are you alright, Y/N?

Y/N: YES

Y/N: BUT I FOUND SOMETHING

Thor: Is it a bilgesnipe?

Pietro: Why are you so fascinated with them?

Pietro: I thought that was Loki's job 😉

Loki: Foolish mortal 🙄

Loki: Now tell us what you've found, Lady Y/N

Y/N: I FOUND FANFICTION

Y/N: ABOUT ME AND YOU GUYS AND AND AND SO MANY PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW WHAT DUGMMJOGR FYHDIKNI HKTOKL

Tony: What?!

Clint: Don't sound so surprised, we know you write some

Y/N: WHO'S WE???

Clint: Me and Nat

Wanda: Nat and I

Clint: Ah, there she is

Wanda: 😊😊😊

Vision: That's cute

Wanda: Thank you 💘

Bucky: Vision's swooning

Sam: Forget him, tell us what sort of fanfiction Stark rights

Wanda: WRITES

Sam: Right 😉

Wanda: 🤬🤬🤬🤬

Bucky: Vision is swooning - again

Sam: At least he spared us his bullshit this time

Steve: You are not nice

Sam: Thank you, Steve

Steve: It wasn't a compliment?

Bucky: He knows that

Steve:

Steve: I don't get it

Nat: I'll get Y/N back here to explain it to you

Tony: Where is she, anyway?

Wanda: Yes, I'm suspicious of the silence...

Pietro: Before any of you ask me, I don't know

Wanda: How come?

Pietro: I don't want to know

Tony: Oh, so you've finally acquired your blocking skills?

Pietro: No...

Pietro: I think she's the one blocking me

Tony: Why don't we go for ice cream?

Wanda: That's random

Steve: Without Y/N?

Tony: She'll catch up to us...

Steve: Okay..

—

Y/N: So, I might have turned Loki into a snake and Thor into a bilgesnipe

Y/N: I swear I didn't mean to

Y/N: I mean, is it really my fault that Merlin came over and let me borrow his powers while he was asleep?

Y/N: Or that we made shroom fairy rings in the garden and I might have gone too far with that and then when he went to bed I just thought I'd play a prank on our lovely Asgardians and miscalculated?

Y/N: Well...you're all asleep

Y/N: I'm going to bed

Y/N: Just don't be surprised to find a mythical cow on the couch...

Y/N: If that's what a bilgesnipe is...

—

Clint: What the hell is that stench

Steve: Maybe Loki left his steed in the living room again?

Nat: His steed doesn't poop

Wanda: And it smells strangely of flowers...

Tony: It's too early for this

Steve: It's ten o'clock

Tony: Yes, too early

Bucky: Steve's rolling his eyes

Tony: Color me shocked

Wanda: Oh my God

Steve: What?

Pietro: Why is there a moose in the living room?

Steve: Goddammit, Loki

Tony: I think it was Y/N

Steve: What?

Tony: Scroll back

Bucky: Steve has collapsed

Tony: Great...

Clint: I am about to collapse from the stench

Nat: Tony, tell us what's going on

Peter: AH FUCK I STEPPED ON A SNAKE

Tony: Did you go camping without me?

Sam: Is he going to become the Spake Man now?

Clint: What the hell does that mean?

Wanda: He was trying to mix the word spider with the word snake

Pietro: He failed

Sam: HEY

Peter: I'M NOT CAMPING I'M IN THE HALLWAY

Y/N: Hi

Tony: Hi

Y/N: Thank you, Tony

Sam: Why are you thanking him?

Y/N: No reason

Sam: Right...

Steve: Has anyone seen Loki?

Steve: I don't want this thing in the living room anymore

Tony: Peter's seen him

Y/N: TONY

Peter: I HAVEN'T SOMEONE COME SAVE ME FROM THE SNAKE

Tony: Steve, did you hit your head on the way down?

Peter: SNAKE

Tony: You'll be funny, just step on it

Wanda: That doesn't make sense...

Tony: Now, isn't it amusing that Steve knows

Tony: But doesn't know?

Wanda: Oh...

Wanda: Yes

Tony: Let's take Thor out for a ride, why don't we?

Y/N: Can I bring Loki?

Tony: Yes, please

Peter: Oh thank God Y/N I was dying

Peter: Can I come with?

Tony: Should we tell him?

Y/N:

Wanda:

Clint: Tell who what?

Y/N: Yes

Wanda: Yes

Tony: Okay

Tony: See you all later

Clint: But...

Clint: But Thor and Loki aren't here?

Clint:

Clint: Oh

Clint: OH

Clint: WAIT IM COMING I NEED TO FILM THIS

Clint: I'LL NEVER LET THEM LIVE IT DOWN

Steve: I still don't get it...

Nat: You will...

Nat: Soon

Sam: You, lady, sound like someone who gets it

Nat: I do

Bucky: Care to share?

Nat: No

Sam: That's cruel

Nat: I know

Steve: What if I bake you a cake?

Nat: Maybe...

Steve: A cake and a pie?

Nat: You're getting warmer...

Steve: A cake, a pie, a batch of cookies?

Nat: Sold

Nat: Come meet me in my room 🍥

Steve: Yes ma'am

Sam: Wait..

Sam: WAIT

Sam: WE WANT TO KNOW TOO

Steve: Barter for it yourself

Bucky: WHAT ABOUT THE END OF THE LINE HUH?!

Steve: We can talk about that when you're dying

Clint: Whoa

Clint: Pizza 🍕

Wanda: Yes..

Bucky: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Sam: 😥😥😨😥😥😥

Tony: Poor souls...

Tony: I'm proud of Steve, though

Y/N: Me too

Tony: Do you think we should help our bilgesnake now, then?

Y/N: Hmmm...

Y/N: I think it might be too soon

Tony: But aren't you desperate to see the look on their faces?

Y/N: Yes...

Loki: Thank you so much, Lady Y/N

Loki: If I was a snake much longer, I might have bitten the spider child

Peter: WHY ME?!

Thor: Come now, brother, you were not even venomous

Loki: Says the bilge that took a dump in the living room

Tony: Did he really say took a dump?

Peter: I THINK I'M DYING

Y/N: I think Pietro's been teaching him

Pietro: I don't take dumps

Pietro: I use the potty

Tony: What

Wanda: Y/N, is this you?

Y/N: I don't think so...

Pietro: I also steal Steve's cookies

Pietro: I should go

Y/N: We should too

Y/N: Since it seems Thor and Loki are trying to kill each other right in front of us

Tony: By slapping each others' butts

Pietro: Seriously?

Wanda: I think we'll be heading over

Tony: Just bring everyone

Tony: We can have a picnic with Steve's cakes

Nat: Great idea!

Nat: I'll herd them

Thor: NO O HERDINg

Nat: Sorry Thor

Nat: We'll slither over then

Loki: MELIGY FUFUJO

Tony: That was brilliant

Nat: Thank you 😊

Y/N: HURRY UP THEY'RE THROWING MUD AT EACH OTHER

Steve: INCOMING

Clint: Whoa

Tony: Let's have cake

Nat: Drop the phones, please

Y/N: NOT LIKE THAT STEVIE

Steve: The screen is cracked...

Y/N: Stop typing on it, you'll cut yourself

Peter: What just happened?

Tony: You mean Y/N and Steve sneaking off to a bush?

Y/N: WE'RE NOT SNEAKING SHE'S GIVING ME FIRST AID

Tony: More like moth-to-moth

Y/N: MOTHS

Nat: Oh no

Peter: Um..

Peter: Where's Tony?

Nat: He's mothing off

Pietro: 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sam: Wow

Sam: Remind me not to get on Y/N's bad side...

Pietro: Better quit while you're ahead

Sam: Huh hgdoknhu gjdgjdi jkguk

Y/N: Now my work is done

Bucky: Wait...what is he?

Y/N: Your new pet, now bye

Y/N: Peter and I are going swimming

Peter: We are?

Y/N: Yes

Y/N: I need a reason to give you moth-to-moth

Peter: fgjk jkdtuk jkfiktuk

Y/N:

Pietro:

Tony:

Pietro: Foff, old man 😂🤣😎