Harumi as Vox

Morro as Valentino

Lloyd as Alastor

Harumi: That fucker is back!

Morro: Yeah, I thought he was gone for good, too

Harumi: It's been seven years!

Morro: You still pissed he almost beat you that time?

Harumi: Uh, fuck you

Morro: Just saying

Harumi: Things have changed a lot since he left town

Morro: That's for sure

Harumi: I gotta send a message of who's really in charge of things now

Harumi: Welcome home
I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone
Say hello to a new status quo
Everyone knows that there's a brand new dawn
Turn the TV on!

(Camera speeds, rolling in three, two)

(Welcome to the show)

Harumi: Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been
Who has been spotted cavorting around town

(Welcome to the show)

Harumi: After a seven-year absence
Did anybody miss him?
(Welcome to the show)
Did anybody notice?
More on tonight's program
So, the Dangerous oni is back in town
Why is he hanging around?
What does that mean for your family?
Well handily, I've got good news
He's a loser, a fossil
And I don't mean to sound hostile, but the demon is a coward!
You can take that as gospel
Pulling my viewers? Impossible
I'm visual. He's barely audible
Stop giving him the time of day. Don't listen to a word he'd say
I hope he had a nice vacay, but he should've stayed away.

While he hid in Monastery, we've pivoted to video
Now, his medium is getting bloody rare
Ninjago been better since he split
Where's he been? Who gives a shit?!

Lloyd: Salutations!
Good to be back on the air
Yes, I know it's been a while
Since someone with style treated Ninjago to a broadcast
Sinners, rejoice!

Harumi: What a dated voice!

Lloyd: Instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast.

Harumi: Come on!

Lloyd: Is Harumi insecure? Pursuing allure?
Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing's working?

Harumi: Ignore his chirping!

Lloyd: Every day, she's got a new format.

Harumi: You're looking at the future! He's the shit that comes before that!

Lloyd: Is Harumi as strong as she rapports?
Or is it based on her support?
She'd be powerless without the other Sons of Garmadon.

Harumi: Oh, please!

Lloyd: And here's the sugar on the cream. She asked me to join her team!

Harumi: Hold on!

Lloyd: I said "No," and now she's pissy. That's the tea

Harumi: You old-timey prick,
I'll show you suffering!

Lloyd: Aww, the TV is buffering

Harumi: I'll destroy you!

Lloyd: I'm afraid you've lost your signal

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Lloyd: Let's begin... *eyes turn Magenta* I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stay gone, tune on in when I'm done. Your status quo will know its race is run. All this will be fun. Hmhmhmhmhmhm...hahahahahahaha!