I'm a fairly observant person. I know more than people think I do, because I listen more than I talk. And I already know for sure, as I look at the boy sleeping next to me, that none of this would have happened if we both weren't as drunk as we were at the party we went to last night.

He was sitting by the fire by himself staring at the flames, when I clumsily sat down on the log on the opposite side of the fire from him. I lost my friends somewhere in the crowd and found myself needing some warmth, making my way over to the only source of heat, not even thinking in my drunken state to find where my friends had gone to. He looked over at me as he took a swig from his bottle of beer, his eyes taking me in as if it was the first time he had ever laid his eyes upon me—which, in an intoxicated sense, it was, because I had never been to any parties he attended before.

Being the observant type, I've already known for a few years that despite how good looking he is, he's not the kind of guy I go for, and I'm definitely not his type either. The girls I've seen him around school with are the cheerleader type. Always smiling, over the top happy and outgoing. The fun kind of girls. I'm far too quiet to be a girl he would ever be caught seen with. Unlike most people in our high school, he doesn't have girlfriends, and maybe considering the position I'm in with him now, I understand why, but I'm unsure if that's the reason. But I know for sure that I like the boyfriend type. I like boys who like some kind of commitment, which is something that I've never seen him portray when it comes to girls. Therefore, he could never be someone I'd consider.

I was surprised when he moved from his place on the log on the other side of the fire to come over and sit next to me after he stared at me for far too long. We hadn't exchanged any words that would have indicated an invitation for him to sit next to me, and yet there he was, closer than I ever would have let him be to me in any other setting aside from this.

He handed me his beer which I happily took a drink from, before giving it back to him and picking my own back up off the ground beside me and drinking it, the whole time not taking our eyes off of each other. The alcohol in me made me feel like I was comfortable and yet the tensity in the way he looked at me, should have made me feel otherwise. The sound of drunk people laughing in the distance and the crackling of the fire were the only sounds around us as we sat in silence.

We've been going to school together for four years now and not once had we ever really spoken to each other, except for in class if we had to. And so sitting next to him and not saying a word, didn't really surprise me in the least. What surprised me, was the way he looked at me, taking in my features, eyes flicking back and forth between mine, that couldn't seem to tear themselves away from him either, as if we were trying to have a conversation without saying anything. Except I was drunk and had no idea what he could possibly be trying to tell me.

Without warning, he grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the log and into the darkness of the trees around us. When I asked what he was doing, he shushed me before stopping in his tracks and pushing me up against a tree, covering my mouth with his hand as he pressed his body against mine.

My heart started to pick up its pace, unsure of what his motives were and I watched him as he looked back over to the fire which was a small distance away, listening to some girls who had apparently went to sit on the logs. I could tell they were my friends, knowing their laughs anywhere. We were far enough away that we couldn't be seen, but in my drunken state, I couldn't tell if I was scared or if I was excited with the fact he was pressed against me.

When he looked back at me in the dim light of the fire in the distance, I could feel his heart beat in his chest through his hoodie. Once again, his eyes flicked back and forth between mine as he took his hand away from my mouth.

"Jayde—" he broke the silence with a whisper.

"Harry—" I responded, quietly.

If I had known what was going to come right after, I should have wanted to rewind time. I should have wished to have never sat down on the log and went to find my friends instead, because I never would have expected him to kiss me. He kissed me in a way I had never been kissed before. With an electrified force that instantly made me want more. 

The way he gripped onto my sides, his cold fingers digging into my skin under my thin coat. There was no hesitance on either of our parts as he pressed his body harder into mine against the tree, my hands wrapping around his waist and pulling him as close to me as possible. The alcohol in me clearly taking over every one of my senses.

I sit up in my bed crossing my legs, looking at him. His curls fall perfectly to the side of his face. His bare chest reveals the many tattoos inked on him, more than I remember seeing last night, and I wonder how we got here, because this is surely the craziest thing I have ever done.

We had walked through the woods to my house from the party. It took longer than it should have because he kept kissing me, which made us stumble over rocks far too much, making me giggle drunkenly. We climbed the ladder to the small roof outside my window. The ladder I used all the time to come in and out of my house to avoid my parents as much as possible. Only one other boy has ever climbed this ladder to be with me, but I remember quite liking the fact that Harry was, even if he was just as drunk as I was.

It's strange for me to know that I had sex with him last night. It's strange because I have never done such a thing with someone I had only spoken one word to prior to the act. I may be observant and think I know a lot of things, but I'm realizing, being in the position I'm in right now, that I haven't a clue as to who he really is. And I had sex with him, and he's sleeping in my bed, and I'm staring at him right now.

How awkward.

I stumble out of bed when I realize how naked I am, mumbling to myself as I throw on a loose tank and rummage through my underwear drawer to find something cute, before getting a bottle of water from my mini fridge across the room. When I turn back around, Harry is sitting up and staring at me, slight smile on his face and sleepy eyes.

"Uh—hi," I stutter.

Never in my life had I been in a more awkward situation, and I look to the window wondering how weird it would be if I tried to climb out of it right now. Instead, I take a swig of my bottle of water, trying to hydrate some sense into me.

He laughs at my inability to speak properly. "Can you just come over here?" he asks. "You're making this weird, and it doesn't have to be."

Yeah, okay.

I do as he says, walking back over to my bed, sitting down on it and pulling the covers over my bare legs, leaning against the wall behind me. He takes the bottle of water from my hand and I watch as he drinks it before placing it on my nightstand beside him. 

He leans into me to kiss me, in which I'm surprisingly not reluctant to kiss him back. I take in the way his tongue moves with mine so smoothly. So effortlessly. When his lips part from mine, he breathes out a long breath and smiles. "That was a fun night," he says, looking me in the eyes.

"It really was," I agree, although I'm unsure of how I actually feel about it. It was indeed fun, but so out of character for me that I have no idea what to really think.

He turns from me to grab his clothes from the floor beside the bed and I watch as he gets dressed as if no one is watching him. "Probably shouldn't tell anyone about this," he says, not turning around to look at me as he pulls his pants up, his belt clinking in the process.

"Oh yeah, no worries," I tell him. "I don't kiss and tell. Your reputation won't be ruined because of this. Nothing to worry about."

His words sting a little, thinking that's why he would want to keep this a secret. And I wonder if he's ever said those words to other girls before. Clearly last night was a mistake and I should have thought much more about it before actually allowing it to happen.

He turns around fully clothed, smiling and shaking his head at me, as he climbs back over the bed and lays himself down on me with his head on my legs. Instinctively, my hand places itself around the back of his neck to play with the curls that hang down slightly, now that he is close to me. "That's not why, sweet girl," he says, quietly. "Don't think so lowly of yourself."

I decide not to ask for the real reason. As curious as I am, I have a feeling I don't really want to know the answer. I already know that I won't say anything to anyone about this, knowing this was just a one time mistake and it won't happen again.

He sits himself back up on his knees, hovering over me to kiss me a small peck on the lips before walking over to the window we climbed in from. He smiles looking back at me, opening the window as I stand from the bed. "This is pretty convenient," he laughs. "Might just have to use it again."

I don't have time to say anything before he climbs out onto the roof, which I'm kind of happy about, because I'm so stunned by his words, I know nothing would have come out even if I did have something to say. I move across the room to the window, watching as he goes down the ladder. When he's back in view again, he starts to jog across the backyard towards the woods we came from, turning around to look up at me.

"See you at school, sweet girl!" he calls, before blowing a kiss. 

And just like that, he disappears into the forest, leaving me confused and needing to write in my blog but unsure if I should write about such a thing, even though no one has a clue it's me who writes it. I close the window and get comfortable on my bed under the covers with my laptop in my lap.

I stare at the blank screen, the cursor flashing, waiting for me to type something, and surprisingly for the first time, I don't know where to start, what to say, or even if I should.

A/N: Hey Lovies! Hope you will add it to your reading lists and enjoy! ♥♥ 

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Much Love,
amberlove
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