"I wish upon stars every night to wish that she could drink her words and realize how bitter they taste. Although I know that the words she speaks to me, are a projection of the hatred she has for herself, in the process, I don't think she realizes that she's ruining me. Whether she cares or not, I don't think I'll ever know for sure. But I'm trying so hard to keep afloat. Trying to remember that each time she has opened her mouth and shots have been fired in my direction, they weren't really meant for me. And yet somehow I allow them to wound me. To burn holes right through me, leaving scars only on the inside.

Time and time again, I have heard that no one will ever love me. And while I'm unsure if this statement is true, I know my idea of love is much different than the person who tells me this. For I know that love is not settling. Love is comfortable, yet takes you out of your comfort zone, in only the best of ways. It's looking at someone and seeing them look back at you, as if it's the first time they're seeing you, every single time. It's finding the stars in someone's eyes, and knowing you're home.

The stars are the only thing that make me feel like I'm home. There's so much beauty in just one star. Beautiful on its own, yet a part of something much bigger than anyone could ever understand. Although I love every single star equally, as long as I have just one to wish upon, I would forever be happy. For I know that one day, the first star I see every night, will know that I have believed in everything that it is, and it will grant me the best of my wishes. It will help me find my way home in the darkness. Always.

I wish to find my way home—with someone. I want to find that comfort. That feeling of knowing there isn't any other place I'd rather be, next to someone who feels the same way about me. I believe that love happens when we least expect it to, and so you will never find me looking for it. I'm waiting for it to find me. Take me by surprise, sweep me off my feet, fill my heart up not knowing it was empty to begin with.

I crave a life filled with magic, which can only be found in the smallest of things. I think there's a chance I might have that one day. When everything in life, everything that surrounds me, even if it's just a perfect moment, everything will be magical. Until then, I have the stars, and they will continue to make me feel like I'm home.

Girl_Disconnected"

The end of the day is nearing as I look out the window during last period. The pouring rain coming down from the dark clouds adds to my hatred of Thursdays as I watch it hit the glass. Although I usually love the rain, after dealing with Mom yesterday, I could do without the extra gloominess right now. I try not to let her words get to me anymore, but I can't stop thinking about how she slapped me. It threw me off, not expecting it whatsoever, taking me back to a time that I want to forget. We had lived so peacefully in our house for a fair amount of time that I had almost forgotten what it was like to be near her. And this time, the blow she handed me, rattled something inside of me that I couldn't shake off this morning when I got out of bed.

The feeling of my phone vibrating brings me back to reality and I take it out of my hoodie pocket to check the new message.

From: Unknown number
>>Sweet Girl  ;) ;)

Knowing it's Harry, I add his number to my contact list before sending a text back.

To: Harry
>>Harry...

From: Harry
>>Can I give you a ride home?  ;) ;)

To: Harry
>>What's with the winky faces?

From: Harry
>>I'm trying to be cute and...seductive?  ;) ;) ;)

To: Harry
>>Seductive?  Really? lol

From: Harry
>>It's not working?

To: Harry
>>I bet you'd look like a mental patient winking that many times in a row!  O.o

From: Harry
>>You're not usually this hard to please.  ;)

To: Harry
>>...funny.

From: Harry
>>So, ride home?  ;) ;) ;)

To: Harry
>>No thanks.

From: Harry
>>But I miss you. I need you, sweet girl.  ;)

To: Harry
>>Not today. The winks aren't doing anything for me.

I put my phone back in my pocket when the bell rings and gather my things, taking my time as I pack my books into my backpack. I'm in no hurry to walk home in the downpour just to deal with what's going to be happening in my house tonight. And even though an escape is probably what I need right now, I don't want Harry to go near my house on Thursdays.

My phone is buzzing as I walk through the hallway to my locker on the other side of the school, but I ignore it, knowing that even though I know I will see Harry before I leave since his locker is just across the hall from mine, he won't talk to me about giving me a ride home with people around.

Maddy and Kate are already at our lockers and I'm not sure if I should be surprised that Harry is with them, along with Niall. I say hi to them as I unlock my locker, not caring to listen to their conversation.

"Wow, someone's obsessed with pictures," Niall says, opening my locker all the way as I stuff the books from the top shelf into my backpack. I look to see that he is admiring all the pictures I have taped to the door from bottom to top, a smile set on his face, until he reaches one and his face scrunches up in confusion. "Who's the old lady?"

"Oh—my Grandma," I tell him.

"Weird."

Maddy nudges Niall's arm with her elbow with wide eyes. An expression on her face trying to tell him that he shouldn't have said anything, but he doesn't notice.

"Jayde's Grandma died last year," Kate explains, as if it's a normal conversation topic. I roll my eyes at the fact she so easily spoke of something so devastating to me the way she did, reminding me why I don't tell people anything if I can help it. They didn't need to know about my Grandma, and yet there she was, spilling my life to them without a care in the world. "They were really close."

"Oh." Niall gives me an apologetic look. "Sorry."

"Jayde!" I hear Carter call from down the hall. I wave as I watch him walk over to us, curious as to what he wants since it's been a long time since he's talked to me at school. But I'm happy that he has interrupted an awkward moment about my Grandma, not wanting to talk about her. This day has already been awful, the last thing I need is a reminder that the only family member who meant anything to me, is gone.

The five of us look at Carter as he approaches us. He keeps his attention on me, not even acknowledging the four standing with me, a bright smile on his face that lights up his blue eyes, instantly making me smile when I see it. "So, I was thinking," he starts. "We should order pizza and watch scary movies tonight."

"Yeah, actually that sounds perfect," I answer, my mood immediately elevating.

"I promise no video games this time," he lets out a small laugh. "I'll text you when I get home from basketball practice and you can come over." He passes his basketball to Niall. "You coming?"

As I watch him walk back down the hall with Niall, I close my locker. Truth is, I could go for some pizza and scary movies. A few hours out of my house. I'd like to think he remembered my Dad is home and it's Thursday and he's just trying to make my life easier, but I know it's because it's raining. Scary movies were always what we did when it rained.

Harry is looking at me with his eyebrows raised, while Maddy and Kate giggle like idiots, making me roll my eyes.

"Someone's getting some tonight!" Kate laughs.

"Don't be so immature!" I laugh.

"I still don't know why you guys broke up last year," Maddy says. "You guys would have been Prom King and Queen if you were still together this year. Maybe he wants to get back together!"

"We're just friends," I tell them, putting my backpack on my back and zipping up my hoodie. "There will be no getting back together. Get that idea out of your head. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"But you're perfect for each other," Kate cries, dramatically.

"Bye!"

I stare out the window when I get to the front doors, hoping if I wait long enough the rain will let up even just a little. When I realize it won't, I pull my hood over my head and start my trek home, instantly soaked from head to toe the moment I start walking and wishing I had worn more than a skirt as the cold rain hits my bare legs.

I usually take comfort in the rain. The way it somehow washes away my troubles. But this rain isn't the kind that's refreshing like I was hoping it would be. It's windy, big drops hitting me hard in the face making it hard to see. I hate myself for being stubborn and not letting Harry drive me home.

I'm more than halfway home, walking down the side street next to the woods as fast as I can, trying to get to the path to walk through the woods to get to my backyard, when I hear a car horn honk a few times. I look beside me to see Harry rolling down his car window yelling something at me that I can't hear over the sound of the rain around me. I keep walking, trying to avoid him, so I can just get home.

I watch as he pulls up ahead and into the small parking lot near the path I need to take, making me sigh. At this point, I don't need a ride home. Home is so close now. Why he has to stop is beyond me. But he gets out of his car, runs around it and in my direction.

"You are the most stubborn girl I have ever met in my life," he says, standing in front of me.

"You know my house is just through the woods," I tell him, pointing to the path. "I don't need a ride home."

He takes my hand and pulls me towards his car, opening the door. "Stop being stubborn and get in."

I do as he says, even though I don't need to, and he closes the door behind me, before running to the other side of the car and getting in the driver's seat. Looking into the mirror, shivering, I wipe the water and the make up that has run down my face and try to fix my hair, seeing that I quite resemble a wet dog at the moment. As I wring the water from my hair out onto the floor, I look over at Harry who is unfolding a blanket from his backseat and throwing it over my wet, bare legs.

He looks more than pleased with himself for getting me into his car even after I told him I didn't need a ride home, and although I don't understand how easily he did it, I can't seem to be mad at him for it, because with wet hair and a see-through wet t-shirt, he looks incredible and I seem to have forgotten the reason I didn't want to be in this car with him.

"Here, take your sweater off and put this on," he tells me, placing the hoodie on the console between us. I watch as he takes his white t-shirt off and puts on a new one, mesmerized by his wet skin before he hides it again. "Come on, you're freezing."

I can feel his eyes on me as I unzip my hoodie, my tank top sticking to my skin. I decide to take it off, not caring that he's seeing me with just a bra on at the moment. I just want to be warm. He takes my clothes and throws them into the backseat as I put his hoodie on, instantly feeling the warmth from it. It smells like him. The captivating scent that is left on my sheets is now surrounding me, blending with the warmth, making me feel, surprisingly, even more comfortable.

"Better?" he asks.

"I could have been home by now, ya know," I answer.

"You could have been home and dry if you had just let me drive you in the first place," he tells me.

We stare at each other for what feels like a long time, and I find myself wondering why he hasn't kissed me yet, knowing that by now he usually would have. He said he needed me, and yet he's made me put on his hoodie that is much too large for me, put a blanket over my legs, hiding my bare skin from him completely and is now just staring at me, instead of pressing his lips to mine.

This is just fucking weird.

"So—" he breaks the silence. "Carter?"

"What about him?"

"Do you have some secret fling going on?" he asks. "Because I haven't seen you together for a while and you seemed happy to—"

"God no," I blurt out, interrupting him. "Carter and I broke up forever ago. We're just friends now, and that's all we'll ever be—" I pause to look at him again, seeing that he looks relieved with my answer. "I don't know why I have to explain that to you though, because I thought knowing nothing about each other was better."

He doesn't say anything as he looks away from me and stares out the window at the rain hitting the windshield. The outside world a blur from the inside. It's crazy for him to ask such a question about me when he's the one with the reputation. It's understandable other people might assume Carter and I might get back together if they saw us together again, knowing our past and who we've been to each other our entire lives, but Harry didn't know us before we were together. He probably doesn't know the friendship we had growing up like most people do because he only moved here from England when we started high school.

"I never questioned you about the other girls you sleep with," I finally say. I take this moment as a good time to talk about what I had been thinking about when it comes to who we sleep with, happy to have this moment before he even has a chance to even think about kissing me. "But I'm glad you brought this up, because I need to say something."

He looks back at me, leaning back against the car door and crossing his arms waiting for me to talk. And it's only now that I realize I haven't got a clue as to how I want to say what I want to, making me nervous and my heart start to pound, the sound of the rain pounding harder against the car.

"I'm listening," he says.

"Is this—ya know—what we're doing," I stutter. "Something you want to do for a while?"

"Definitely," he answers without missing a beat, leaning over the console, closer to me. He rests his chin on his hand, a smirk on his face appearing. "For as long as I can have you."

"Okay well, I don't really know how to say this," I start, looking down at my hands. "But if that's the case, I don't think you should sleep with anyone else."

He leans back again against the door, his eyebrows raised as I allow myself to look at him again. "Wasn't expecting that."

"Look, I know that it's a lot to ask," I continue. "And I might sound selfish, but I'm not trying to be. I'm just—It's about having a decent amount of respect for myself. I don't want to know that I'm one of many. I want to be the only."

He furrows his eyebrows as he looks back at me, seemingly deep in thought. "How will you know I don't have any other secret girls?"

"I won't. All I can do is take your word for it," I answer, shrugging my shoulders. He's right. I wouldn't have a clue if there was anyone else. "But I want you to know that if there is going to be other girls, I don't want this to continue."

"No one else—" He keeps his eyes on me. This is something that I didn't realize I would have to take my walls down for. But in a sense, I need to, if I'm going to trust him. I don't know how he is going to answer, or how he's even taking this proposition, as his face is now expressionless as his eyes flick back and forth between mine from the opposite side of the car. I want him to choose me, because with the way he looks at me, I want to kiss him. I want to feel his hands on me, and the longer his eyes are focused on me, the more I seem to want him.

"And I'm not asking you to stop flirting with anyone. You can keep doing what you're doing. I don't want to change how you are with anyone. I just want to know I'm the only girl that gets to have you," I break the silence, blurting out my thoughts. "You don't need to decide now. You can take your time. But know that you won't get me again, unless you give me your word on it."

"I don't need to think about it," he answers quickly, leaning back over the console. He puts his hand on my cheek, the same cheek that had a hand print on it just yesterday, but instead of pain, I feel something else as he touches me. And he smiles, making my heart beat intensify, leaving us in a moment that makes me feel like I can trust him in ways I've only ever trusted Carter. "I'd give up anything if it meant I get to fuck you anytime I want."

He pulls the blanket off of my legs as he presses his lips forcefully to mine, and with a few swift moves, I climb over the console to straddle him, as he moves his seat as far back as it can go, to make room for me to sit on him. I'm excited that he has chosen me, and in the way my hands make their way to his wet hair, I know he can tell I'm happy with his decision.

When our lips part, his eyes flick back and forth between mine, before he looks down to my lips. "Promise?" I ask, before he has a chance to kiss me again.

A smile spreads across his lips as he tucks my hair behind my ear. He doesn't need to say anything. His smile says everything I need to hear. But before he presses his lips to mine again, he says it.

"I promise."

A/N: Thank you for 2.9K reads!!

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