Life is crazy. It has the strangest of ways of bringing two people together, just to tear them apart. And the situation I found myself in last night with Harry, I had wondered if there was a chance the stars had aligned once more just to bring us back together again. But without question, I had realized that in all of it, the answers wouldn't be that easy to find. Him being next to me wasn't going to be the way we'd fall back together. We had been through too much for it to be that simple.

And as I walked into the book store and my eyes met his, caution and uncertainty written on his face, I knew that the distance between us was just as far as it was before he had sat next to me on top of the hill. But after last nights impromptu meeting, the broken pieces inside of me have started to repair and all I can hope for is a positive outcome. The cold hard look upon his face was still missing and I was hopeful that time could heal our wounds.

In the beginning of all of this, words were never what got us through anything. And within the silence last night and how his closeness made me feel content, it made me realize that words weren't the answer for us. Words weren't going to fix anything. The silence would be what brought us back together, if anything at all could.

The hours that passed as we stared at the stars didn't feel like hours at all. They felt like minutes, only understanding how much time really had passed by seeing the stars in a different location to indicate the world had turned. And while I'm sure he had been counting down the minutes that went by, he had stayed until I finally turned to him to say goodnight.

It was the strangest and most heartbreaking feeling walking away from him. He had been so near yet so far away at the same time. So out of reach despite his close proximity. I have known all along that who we were together wasn't exactly what is specified as the norm, and so the conflicting feeling I had inside of my heart the entire time justified that. One of us would always be out of reach for the other, no matter how close we were. Never wanting the same thing at the same time. And yet somehow, I walked away feeling as though he was still willing to give me exactly what he knew I needed despite his lack of feelings for me.

"Where's Tenley?" I ask, after I've gone to the back room to put away my things and come back to see it was still only Harry in the store. It was the first words I had said to him in what felt like forever, my voice coming out weaker than I intended them to.

Harry didn't look up from the paper work he had set in front of him on the counter, tapping his pen on the hard surface. "She's sick," he answers. "I had to come in this morning and open the store."

"Oh."

"I wasn't even going to come in today," he continues, as he walks out from behind the counter over to one of the boxes filled with our new shipment of books. "And now I'm stuck here until closing."

I try not to let my thoughts run, because it's understandable why he sounds so annoyed. Except the negativity I can't seem to shake has me questioning if he's more annoyed at the fact he's stuck with me for the rest of the day.

I decide that staying quiet is the best option for the time being, realizing this is going to be a long day. I have no intentions of striking up a conversation anyways, but the last thing I want to do is say the wrong thing and make this day even worse than it's more than likely going to be.

I can't help but notice the difference in the silence we've surrounded ourselves in as I count the books and make sure the order is correct as he places the books in their respective places around the store. It's not the comforting silence we usually encompass, it's daunting and uneasy and I can't seem to stop my heart from pounding. I get the feeling after some time, as the new piles of books become smaller and smaller, that there's a reason for this anxiousness between us.

Every time he had come over to get a new pile of my counted books, I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was looking at me, and the more times it happened, the more it felt like he wanted to say something. The agitated feeling he gave me over time made me want to scream at him to spit it out but at the same time, with his hesitation of allowing anything to come out of his mouth, I was reluctant to even let him know that I noticed, not wanting to know why he was having such a hard time saying what it was that he wanted to say. Because not once since we've known each other has this ever happened and his procrastination worried me.

When the piles of books finally disappeared, I get up from my spot on the floor to finally be the one to help a customer at the counter. We hadn't had very many customers to interrupt our order duties, but I hadn't helped anyone at all yet today. He walked in behind the counter as I rang the books through and he happily bagged their new belongings, and once again, silenced ensued as they walked out the door, the bell dinging on the door the only sound around us.

"Can I ask you something?"

And there it is...

Harry turns to me slowly, leaning on the counter, picking up a pen and flicking the end of it a few times before looking at me. I gulp as anxiety fills me, not wanting for him to ask me anything. I take a deep breath before looking back at him, realizing this is what he's been thinking about all afternoon and there's no getting out of this. He basically has me cornered.

"Uh-sure," I answer nervously.

"Why did you leave?"

"What?"

"Why did you go back home?" he asks.

My face scrunches up as I look at him. This is what he's been wanting to know? Why I left his house? After he was the one who made me out to be an awful person who was using his family for my own benefits, he wants to know why I left?

"I had to-"

"You broke my mom's heart," he interrupts. "She was crying for days because you left."

My eyebrows are the only thing on my body that doesn't seem to fall. They rise upon my forehead as the rest of me slumps, feeling the words he just spoke. I can't bring myself to say anything, no matter how many times I want to apologize, the entirety of me crumbling at once, hearing that I've hurt his mom.

"All she wants to do is help you," he continues, his voice slightly rising. "She doesn't understand why you won't let her. And honestly, I don't know why you wouldn't either. Granted, I don't know why you were there in the first place this time, but she was so adamant about you staying."

Silence falls between us again, and I know that he's waiting for me to say something. Anything. But I can't.

He lets out a long sigh. "Why were you there?" he finally asks. "Why did she bring you home with her? Did something happen? She won't tell me anything."

"Nothing happened," I lie. "I don't know why she was so heartbroken that I left."

"She wants to save you, Jayde."

"She can't save me, Harry!" I retort. "I had to leave. You know I did. I don't belong there."

"And you think you belong where you are now?" he asks. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to write my report on your family when they're the most horrible people in the world? Yes, you can be difficult at times, Jayde, but you're not a horrible person, and I know you don't belong there."

"I'm difficult?" I ask, crossing my arms and glaring at him. "You were pissed I was there and now you're mad that I'm not."

"Just come back to my house," he says. "I hate to see my mom so unhappy."

"I'm fine where I am, Harry," I tell him. "Things with my parents are different now. They aren't fighting anymore."

"Then why did my mom bring you to my house?" he raises his voice again. "Something had to have happened for her to be this upset that you left. You trusted me before, Jayde. Trust me again."

It's clear he's bothered by the fact that he doesn't know this one simple fact. But I'm not about to spill my guts to him. If Anne respected my wishes and didn't tell Harry what she knew-or thought she knew-then I don't have to tell him what I already don't want him to know.

"I had to trust you before," I say angrily. "You found shit out because you broke the rules. I had no other choice than to trust you. And you broke my trust when you told your mom."

"You can't honestly be mad at me for that now," he yells. "That was months ago and you seemed just fine that she knew. And you can't possibly say that her inviting you into our home was a bad thing. You are so frustrating. Always finding something new to be mad at me for."

"And you don't care, remember?" I ask, pushing him to the side so I can get out from behind the counter. He tries to stop me, grabbing onto my hand and spinning me around to face him. "Don't!" I rip from hand from his grip and look up at him. "You don't get to know any more about my life, so stop asking questions. Stop pretending that you care when you don't!"

"Oh, come on, Jayde."

"Can we please just get back to work?" I sigh, turning from him. The reminder that he doesn't care breaks me even more, wishing that we could have remained in our little silent bubble where things were fine. "Fighting with you is exhausting. I don't want to do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Fight," I answer, turning back around to look at him. "So let's just keep our mouths shut, okay?Because every time we open them, we end up fighting. It wasn't so bad before, but now I'm just tired of it."

The bell on the door dings, and I have never in my life been so happy for an interruption. It was perfect timing, because I could tell that Harry was going to add something more to my argument. Despite the fact that someone has entered the store, our eyes don't veer from each other's from across the room, clear anger and frustration lingering through the air.

"I see I've come at a bad time."

Harry and I finally look away from each other to see that Kate has walked in. Of all people who could come right now, I'd say I'm actually happy that she's here, but when I look back at Harry, it's obvious he thinks otherwise.

"You know, don't you?" Harry asks, before looking back at me. "She knows, doesn't she?"

Kate and I look at each other confused. There's no way he could know that I've told her anything about him and I the second she walked into the store.

"Know what?" Kate asks.

"Don't play stupid with me," he says. "The look on your face says everything. Jayde told you."

"And you told Tenley," I quip quickly. "Except my reason for telling her wasn't because I wanted to be a douchebag, Harry. I needed a friend to talk to. So don't be all pissy that I told her when it's this whole fucked up situation we're in is what made me need to talk to someone in the first place."

"Why didn't you just talk to me about it?" he asks. The angry look on his face has disappeared and he now looks solemnly at me.

"Because you don't care, remember?"

His whole body stiffens for a few moments. His eye flicking back and forth between mine a few times.

"Maybe I should go," Kate finally speaks, starting to walk towards the door.

"No," Harry says. "I'm going to take a break. You stay. I'll go." I watch as he walks out from behind the counter over to the door where Kate stands. He looks down at her, his face so close to hers, she can probably feel his breath fan her face. "If you tell anyone, I swear to God-" And in a matter of moments, the bell on the door is dinging against the glass, and Harry disappears into the sunshine, making me let out a long breath.

"I'm so sorry," Kate says sympathetically. "I just wanted to come and see how things were going today knowing you had to work with him."

I crack a small smile as I look back at her. "You really know when to make an entrance. We were already in the middle of a fight. It's fine. It was actually perfect timing, because I don't want to argue with him anymore."

"Can I just say something though?" she asks as she walks over over to me. "That boy cares about you. He can say he doesn't all he wants, but it's written all over his face that he does. Stop beating yourself up over this. I think you guys just need a bit of time and things will go back to the way they were before."

I force a small small as I look at her, unsure of how I feel about things going back to the way they were before. Yes, most of the time, things were better with us than they are now, but I can't imagine things returning to what they were. I know deep down that they won't. Because before had just as many down points as we had ups. Before includes no feelings. Before is something that I would like to leave in the past, because going back to the way things were won't make anything better. It will be as if we are just going round in circles, and my heart can't break any more than it already has.

If anything is going to change, we need to get passed this and move forward. Not go backwards in the slightest. Maybe there's a chance Kate is right. That Harry does still care. It's just a matter of trying to figure out how to make him show that again. Make his words and his actions add up and make sense.

Because as mad as I am at everything that's happened, the way I feel about him isn't going to change. No matter how much he breaks me, I know that there's a heart inside of him and at one point that heart thumped for me. I just need to remind him. Give him exactly what made him feel that way about me to begin with.

A/N: Thank you for 57K reads!! Your votes and comments and support for my book keeps me going so keep them coming! ♥

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