Jayde's Parents
(Leo Dicaprio and Kate Hudson)

Grasping onto my phone in one hand, I turn the lock until it clicks, before turning the knob slowly, taking in a deep breath, pulling my bedroom door open a small space to see into the hallway. Dad is leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed, peering up from the ground to look at me. His blue eyes are slightly hidden behind dark bags under them, wrinkles forming around his face. But he is clean shaven for the first time in as long as I can remember, and his light brown hair is combed back with a cowlick at the front. It's clear his hair is greasy, but he looks better than I've seen him in years. His usual trucker stomach seems to have disappeared, as his button down shirt looks to be a couple sizes too big, but he looks like he's a little dressed up for an occasion, at least dressed nicer than I would normally assume he'd be dressed while he's home, reminding me very much of the man he used to be. The man I grew up with, before everything turned for the worst.

And when he smiles at me, I can't seem to help but smile back at him, seeing the innocence of the man I used to love so dearly in his genuine smile that meets his eyes. "Jayde," he says, taking in my presence, nodding slightly. "Uh—Your mom and I—we made dinner. Come and eat."

I'm taken aback by his words as I stare at him, my smile fading from my face. Considering I can't remember the last time we had a family meal together, this all just seems odd and I have no idea what to expect. Something tells me I shouldn't follow him, but for some reason, without a word, I close my door behind me and walk down the hallway behind him and down the stairs.

Walking into the living room, the curtains are open, allowing for the sunlight to shine through the windows. A light breeze blows the curtains around gracefully. The hardwood floors are clean, not a speckle of dust resides on table tops, soft music is playing from the kitchen and dinner has been set around the table. 

My mother is standing beside her chair, smiling at me. Her blonde hair is tied neatly into a pony tail, looking as shiny as ever and her make up is done precisely. A yellow sun dress with red flowers flows over her skinny body, and when I look at her, I feel like I'm dreaming, the sunlight capturing her in a most picturesque way. The sight before me, very much the world I came from. The loving atmosphere I used to be a part of feels very present at the moment, as if I've gone back in time to relive the way it used to be, once upon a time.

Except it's not the way it used to be. We aren't that loving family anymore, my mother's smile is undoubtedly fake and I can feel this is all just for show. And if it isn't—well, I'm still the same girl I was just a few minutes ago when I crawled through the window of my bedroom. Angry and confused and as Harry would say, melancholy. I'm not the naive kid I used to be, and they can't—and won't—fool me, if that is their plan.

Mom starts dishing up a plate full of food and Dad asks me to sit down at the place that used to be mine by the window. I don't dare say a word, unsure of what's going on, and when Mom places the plate in front of me, I stare at it, seeing ham, mashed potatoes and corn neatly placed on it.

"This is nice, isn't it?" Dad says, breaking the silence, as Mom places his plate of food in front of him before sitting down to assemble her own dinner.

"Very nice," Mom agrees, smiling. "We should do this more often. Would you like a roll, Jayde?" She hands me a basket of rolls and pushes the butter across the table in my direction, the smile on her face not faltering as she does.

"This ham is perfect, Darling," Dad says, looking at Mom. "You did a wonderful job."

I watch as Mom shyly smiles back. "Why, thank you handsome."

In my fairy tale dreams, this moment would be there, where all things are shiny and happy and normal. Where Dad sits at the head of the table and his two favorite girls on either side of him, talking about how great each of our days were, and after dinner, we'd help with the clean up, laughing as we did the dishes together with possibly too many bubbles in the sink. And afterwards, we'd resign to the living room, on our comfortable non-ripped couch with coffee and watch some television. A pleasant, fun-loving atmosphere, where we loved being in each other's presence.

But I know with every part of me, they are trying to seem like we could be that perfect family. As Mom laughs at something Dad says that I didn't hear because I'm lost somewhere inside the darkness in my head. Although this moment has never happened before, I can see exactly how this is going to unfold before my eyes, and it isn't going to end with us sitting on the same couch with a hot beverage.

"What's going on?" I finally ask putting down my fork that I haven't even used yet. I need answers. I know that this little fake fairy tale moment won't last forever, and there's no point in making it last longer than it needs to, because I know it's not real. This really isn't them anymore, and I can't sit here and feign happiness the way they seem to be capable of doing so effortlessly.

"Can't we just want to have a family dinner without being questioned about it?" Dad asks. The smile on his face turns to a frown as he furrows his eyebrows to look at me. "You look beautiful, by the way. I've missed you." He wipes his mouth with a napkin, and I fear he is trying his hardest not to get angry with me and that's why he ended his question with a compliment towards me.

"Thank you," I say, quietly. "But no, I don't think it's possible to not question what's going on, because this is just fucked up, if you ask me."

"Watch your mouth," Mom steps in. "You don't speak like that at the dinner table. Just eat your dinner. Have a roll."

"There is a reason," Dad says, making me look back at him. 

I can see Mom turn to him as well, through my peripheral vision. "Not now," she says. "Let's eat first."

"I will tell her when I want to tell her," Dad says, through gritted teeth, raising his voice. "Jesus, woman. Seems you still haven't learned to keep your mouth shut when you should."

Dad's sudden change in attitude makes me realize why things change so quickly down here when I'm not present. His anger gets the best of him too easily. I'd imagine that if Mom didn't slap me the last time we were in the same room together, I would stick up for her in some way right now, but I don't seem to care about anything else, other than to find out why they've put on this ridiculous dinner.

"You're eighteen now, right?" Dad questions.

"It's kind of sad you even have to ask me that." I shake my head and roll my eyes.

"Don't get smart with me," he replies, angrily. "Here's how it is. You're going to get a job. You're going to learn responsibility of the real world and you're going to start giving me four hundred dollars a month for living here."

"What?" I ask, standing from the table. 

"Or you can move out."

"That's ludicrous!" I belt out. "If anyone should get a job here, it's Mom, so she can support her alcoholic ass!"

"Shut your mouth, child!" Mom yells.

"You don't need to speak to her that way," Dad yells back at her, pointing a finger at her, before looking back at me. "No questions. I need help around here, and your mother and I talked, and this is how it's going to be. You're going to get a job."

I start to walk away from the table, not needing to be here anymore. They can stuff their pathetic meal where it belongs for all I care. I need to get away from them.

"Four hundred dollars!" Dad calls as I run up the stairs. "I mean it, Jayde! Or you're out!"

I slam my bedroom door and lock it behind me. I thought the bad mood I was in prior to going downstairs was bad enough, but I can't seem to stand still at the moment. Dad could have asked me nicely. He could have said they were having financial problems and it would be nice for me to help out. Instead they decided I was going to put my two cents in and forced it upon me by screaming how it's going to be. Why do they have to yell? Why can't they just have a civil conversation with me? All I did was ask what was going on. I didn't cause a scene. And what was with Mom telling me to watch my language at the dinner table?

Fuck them.

This is a time I would catch myself walking over to Carter's to let off some steam. But I can't do that anymore. He's not my person to run to. All I can seem to do is pace my bedroom, trying to sort out my thoughts, because I can feel myself starting to slip, as tears start to well up in my eyes. I can't even ask Harry to come over to give me an escape because it's Thursday and he can't come here tonight.

I grab a sweater from my closet, feeling the need to get out of here, not wanting to come back, making my way to the one place I love the most. They gave me a sense of what a family should be like for one small second. Even though I was fully aware of it's fabrication, it made me wish that I could have it for real. The daughter and parents family meal on a daily basis that normal families had. I would give anything to know what normality felt like. Just to have that one thing that everyone else I know has, and for it to last my entire existence, so that I wouldn't ever have to feel unloved or forgotten.

As I sit down at my spot on top of the hill, I realize the only way they'll want me to stay close to them is if I pay for it. Four hundred dollars seems a bit much for only using their water for showers and laundry, and electricity only in my bedroom. I barely ever eat their food. I buy everything I already need myself. 

They didn't actually want any more of a relationship with me. They don't really want any more family meals, or to look me in the face if they don't need to. They just want my money. It's very clear to me they don't know about the money Grandma gave me last year, otherwise they would have found a way to steal it from me, or make me give it to them. Thankfully, I was Grandma's favorite person and she knew what was going on around me, wanting better for me than what I was given, and secretly took me to the bank to make sure I would be set to start a new life when I was ready. The fact they are wanting me to make some money for them, tells me the money Grandma gave to them is starting to run dry, and Mom wants to continue to stay home and be a dead beat alcoholic. And so they want to use me.

Sunset has started to turn the world an orange around me, the city in the distance looking more beautiful than ever. It's been hours since I sat myself down in my spot, unsure of where the time has went to, lost in my mind. A notification on my phone dings, bringing me back to life and I look down at it to see that Boy_Undiscovered has posted a blog. Something I most certainly need at the moment.

" Verse 1  
Save her, save her
She is breaking down, breaking down.
Hear her, hear her, 
she is screaming loud, screaming loud.

Hiding inside herself
she cries deep
inside, deep inside.
She's lost inside her mind
hear her say
Goodnight, goodbye.
Goodnight, goodbye.

Verse 2 
She's alone 
Nobody knows the tears
she hides, she hides.
Believing in nothing, 
hear her say,
Goodnight, Goodbye.
Goodnight, Goodbye.

Hook  
Nothing left,
she knows it's the end.
Looks back from beginning to end.
She's always had nothing.
It's always been something.
And tonight, the rain will take her away.  

Just need to write a chorus. But I'm kind of loving it so far.  ;)

Boy_Undiscovered"

I'm thankful that his blog post came when it did, because I needed to get out of my head for just a few minutes. Although his song lyrics are sad, to say the least, I have to agree with him, because I kind of love them. I feel as though they weren't meant for me somehow. Needing to be saved. I've always had nothing and it's always been something. And if it were to rain tonight, I'd let it take me away if I could.

I love the transition between sunset and when the moon comes out and the stars start to twinkle. Seeing the first star appear and wishing on it like I'm still ten years old. The world around me beautiful and peaceful, allows me to see that not everything in life is shit. I will always have this place, even after I am gone it will forever be mine. The place that holds so much hope. Wonder. New wants and needs. It all helps me to breathe just a little easier knowing there's so much out there for me, that one day I will see everything from a new perspective. 

The warm breeze picks up slightly, blowing my hair around just a little once the sun has disappeared from the sky, making me shiver with its presence. The moon is shining brightly above, and the crickets have started chirping. I pull the sweater I brought over my head, realizing it's Harry's as I'm suddenly engulfed in his scent around me. I wrap my arms around myself, his hoodie making me feel not so alone in the darkness, giving me an unexpected sense of comfort.

The want to have something you know you will never have, surrounds me when I lay down in the grass to look up at the stars. When you know that everything in life has created a version of you that you wish you had never become—closed off and not able to let people in. To be untrusting and afraid to give your heart away. I want to have a life that I could only ever see in my fairy tale dreams. To one day find the love of my life, have a family and live in a nice house, where we have family meals and laugh and love being together. I will never have such a thing. I have surrounded myself in darkness for so long, I don't think there will ever be a way out of it all. There will never be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Tears start to well up in my eyes again with the thoughts. I try so hard to fight tears unless I'm in the shower or in the rain, but thinking I will forever be alone, there's no stopping them this time, until I hear footsteps approaching through the grass behind me. I cover my face with my sleeve-covered hands to wipe away the tears that found their way out. To hide the sadness within me, locking it back up where it should be. 

As I breathe out a long breath, I slowly uncover my eyes to see that Harry has laid himself down next to me. He's looking up at the stars and keeps his gaze upon them, even when I turn my head to look at him.

"Nice hoodie," he says with a slight smile.

"I thought so," I say, looking back up to the sky.

He moves his body closer to mine, but he doesn't try to touch me, other than his shoulder that is now pressed against mine. For some reason, I get the feeling he came here just to look at the stars with me. That he didn't come here for sex, or to give me an escape I could really go for right now. His gaze remains on the beauty before us, as we lay next to each other in silence.

As the time passes, it's obvious the world has moved in its respective course, the stars and the moon slightly in a different place since he's laid down with me. It's strange how nice it feels to have someone lay next to me, not saying a word at all, allowing for the silence to bring the comfort I need—with someone. To take in the fact that he is here, as if he knows something is wrong, but doesn't dare to ask what it is. Just being here, with me. Showing me that I have someone. Anyone. Him.

And it's clear that as the sadness I was feeling, the anger that had taken over, and my sudden dislike for the boy laying next to me because of earlier, seems to dissipate into thin air, maybe all along, all I've needed is for someone to show me that in the silence that I'm constantly surrounded with, all I need is someone to lay next to me. Because a part of me feels better with his presence.

I all of a sudden don't feel so alone in a world that felt so much bigger than it ever has before. I don't feel the need for an escape anymore. Not with him giving me what seems to be exactly what I needed, at the perfect time. Whether that was his intentions or not, it doesn't matter.

Silence with someone, surrounded by twinkle lights, is everything.

"Do you have a favorite constellation?" Harry asks, breaking the very long silence.

"I like The Big Dipper," I answer without a thought.

"Why?" 

"My Grandma used to travel a lot," I explain. "She used to say that if she could see The Big Dipper wherever she was, she felt like she was home. I guess I just picked up her love for it, like it has some kind of meaning to me."

"Sounds like you just miss her," he says.

"I do," I sigh. "She was the kind of woman I want to be when I get old."

"How so?"

"She was strong. She didn't care what others thought, but had a heart of gold," I tell him. We don't pry our eyes from the sky. He doesn't turn to look at me when I talk, but I know that he is listening, and I don't dare look at him, telling him something I never talk about. "She was really funny too."

"Old women usually are," Harry says, letting out a breathy laugh.

"Her favorite saying was," I clear my throat. "Wherever you may be, let your wind blow free."

Harry lets out an even bigger laugh this time, making me laugh with him, remembering her ways of not caring what anyone thought.

"Oh yeah, she used to fart all the time!" I say through giggles. "It was always her way of breaking the awkwardness in my family. It made my mom usually embarrassed in front of my Dad for having a mother like hers!"

"My step-dad farts all the time," Harry adds. "My mom gets so mad about it, especially when I laugh at the ones that sound like whistles, and she calls us little boys for thinking it's hilarious, which makes it even funnier."

I can't help but laugh, thinking of the scenario in my head. And I find it ridiculous we can go from laying in silence to laughing about farts—a topic that girls shouldn't normally be discussing. But here I am, uncontrollably laughing, happy that the sadness has now completely withered away for the time being.

We both let out a long sigh, allowing for the laughter to end. "What's your favorite?" I ask.

"Kind of fart?" he asks

"Constellation," I laugh, nudging his shoulder with mine. "What's your favorite?"

"Cassiopeia," he answers, pointing up into the sky. "It's the double-u, right there, see it?" I nod my head, seeing the bright stars twinkle in the shape of a big double-u. "I like the story behind it, even though I only know half of it."

"Which is?"

"Cassiopeia used to brag that her and her daughter were the most beautiful," he explains. "And some legends say that she was chained into the sky because of it, and now hangs upside down for all eternity to remind us not to be boastful, arrogant or cocky."

"Interesting," I say.

"My Mom told me that story," he says. "She says it was her way of teaching me that even if you think you're better than anyone else, you will be punished if you don't treat everyone around you like you're equals. You may be better looking or have better things, but no matter, what we're all the same in the grand scheme of things."

"Do you believe that?" I ask, turning my head to look at him. 

"I know what you're thinking," he says. "Don't think for a second I would in any way think I'm better than you, sweet girl." He places his hand on top of mine between the small space between our bodies, and intertwines our fingers as he looks over at me. "We just laughed about farts together. I'm pretty sure that justifies how perfectly equal we are."

A/N: A nice long one for ya! And it didn't take me ages to write it!! Hope you enjoyed meeting her Dad, and seeing a transition in Jayde and Harry's relationship! 

The song Harry has started to write in this chapter is actually a song I wrote a long time ago. 

Thoughts? I'd love to hear them! ♥

Thank you so much for 8K Reads! I love you so so much! If you're reading, please say hi, I'd love to hear from you! 

Much Love,
amberlove
xo