What is a birthday?

It is not for me.

This celebration is not for me.

It is for the guests.

It is an excuse.

This birthday, though thought to be meant for me,

Is not.

It is a celebration of my parents,
For a successful conception.

It is a "congratulations on being horny and getting pregnant from it" celebration.

It is a "wow, we are great parents arent we" celebration.

It is a "let's pretend that this person doesnt have serious problems" celebration.

Do not get me wrong, I love you all. But I despise this phony act. This birthday is a scam.

No, it is not for me,
It is for you.

And what is this book?

This book,
Is where I hide my depression, so I can pretend to be normal, so I can pretend that I don't feel the same way as I always have.

It is so you can pretend that everything is alright, so you don't feel obligated to fix what cannot be fixed.

And why can it not be fixed?

Perhaps because it doesn't want to be.