3267 words

Posted 10/22/21

None of us have brought up the reason why we could telepathically communicate with Everleigh yet. Actually, we hadn't even told her that we could at all, although it was obvious that she knew she could communicate with Jimin specifically. I'm also pretty sure she worked out that she has heard a few of the others' thoughts sporadically here and there. Perhaps even a few of my own. I'm surprised she hasn't asked for a reason behind our thoughts periodically drifting into her mind.

In some ways I was thankful for the fact that she not only doesn't know the reason behind our connection, but also the fact that she hasn't thought to ask about it yet. At the moment though I am struggling due to our connection. Honestly, I am pretty sure all of us were in the same predicament at the moment. Because currently she is in the shower and not only did she unintentionally pull us into a telepathicathic conversation and project to us her suggestive curiosities, but she was also somehow providing us with visual and audio to go along with them as well. If I were coherent enough in the moment I would be surprised because it isn't an easy feat even on a conscious level to telepathically sync in visual and audio on top of the telepathic thoughts. I couldn't help but become instantly aroused by just the sight of the water droplets on her bare skin alone, and that arousal became even more profound as I saw the pads of her fingers tracing down across her soft skin in the wake of the paths that the water droplets were creating.

She lets the idea of each of us drift through her mind. I'm one of the first to cross her mind simply because I was one of the two she had been studying to understand the fighting technique she was more than likely to use. I grow a bit perturbed as she thinks of the others however, not because I am jealous of them, but because I envy them due to how easily it will be for her to receive them once she knows the truth. That is of course if she ends up taking the truth well at all. I was a bit skeptical about how that would go over to be honest. Perhaps, I'm merely being cautious in preparation should she not accept all of us. It had nothing to do with a concern of attraction honestly, because she was currently sharing that in spades. It was more brought on by the worry that she wouldn't know how to accept the shared bond.

I'm taken out of my own apprehension due to the inquisitive considerations she is pondering about my own body once more, only in more detail. She doesn't seem repulsed in the least, and that's definitely not something I expected. In fact she seems to be more intrigued by what she might discover than anything else. I almost felt like I could drop the pretense and show her my own intrigue and interest the next time I saw her, which honestly shocked me regarding how fast it felt I seemed to already be letting my guard down.

It took me at least fifty years to truly feel a part of our Legion. I still wasn't certain I could call them family like the others did, but that's not because I feel like I lack a connection with them. I know that has to do with what I am, and how I was raised more than anything else. I didn't want to get lost in my own thoughts while she was thinking about us. No, especially while she was thinking about me. So, I shut down that train of thought so I could refocus on her thoughts.

With the others there was an obvious attraction. Regarding her mental consideration of my body, she was a bit more hesitant. I could tell she was still attracted, but my oddities were foreign to her and that alone wasn't an easy thing to accept. I mentally frown before I see her visualizations of what my body could look like. Her curiosity has her considering my visage a lot longer than the others, and I find myself somewhat relieved by that. After all, had the idea of my scales frightened or repulsed her instead she wouldn't be able to dwell on the idea as long.

I'm taken out of my own discoveries and reassurances as she utilizes a mental flipbook of the conjured images she composed of each of us as a guide to help her relieve her growing need. Her fingers grow more urgent as they simply trail over her wet skin. We don't notice how thoroughly we tapped into the telepathic link until her fingers reach the source of her ache. That's when we all collectively sigh, and both Yoongi's and Namjoon's alters echo those sighs with animalistic growls, verbally sharing their own growing need. I telepathically hear her surprise once she hears the sighs and growls, and I firmly slam down my mental shields at that moment.

You could have continued to listen to her. You could have taken yourself in hand and brought yourself to release as her own heightened cries of pleasure filled your head. Instead you are running away!

My sins in tandem try to override my sensibilities. I greedily want to dive right back into telepathically sharing pleasure with her, and I envy her own fingers as they touch the soft skin that I can't help but be curious about.

I mentally go to the place I use as a way to shut down all my thoughts. The jagged cliff sides that circle around the pebble and shell strewn beach always fill me with an overwhelming sense of emptiness. However when I turn to the cerulean blue waters past the sandy shores a sense of tranquility always replaces the emptiness. The shoreline may have been where I had been raised, but the waters were the only place I had truly ever felt at home.

It's a struggle to get myself in check before joining everyone for supper. The tantalizing visuals and arousing sounds that Everleigh had unintentionally forecasted to us had all three sides of my mind (eagle, lion, and man) set on the idea of what it would be like to explore her body for the first time. Her lips had already provided me with enough distraction up until this point since we kissed, and that telepathically shared moment wasn't terribly helpful either. Not that I'm complaining. I loved to know how she craved us all as much as we were craving her.

The biggest problem was my alter. Even though we were more or less one and the same, in some ways he had a mind of his own. Regarding our delectable mate he wanted to have her writhing underneath our body as we not only showed her how much we wanted her, but he wanted to claim her on an animalistic, primal level. Due to my telepathic growl echoed by Yoongi, I know he was struggling with that side of him as well.

Being a leader for as long as I have makes it easy to change the course of my thoughts, although pulling them away from my delectable mate is most definitely a larger struggle than any I have had before. I grow worried over how the two most closed off members of my team have been keeping Everleigh at arms reach.

With Taehyung, at least he is trying on some level. Hades, he had actually smiled the first night he met. I don't think he even realizes that the rare sight was on full display when he greeted her for the first time. I think it was merely a polar reflection of how cold Hoseok had suddenly started treating her when he realized who she could be to us.

At least with Hoseok it seemed like he was coming around to the idea of her being our soulmate. I don't know what happened when he lingered with the succubi in Sheol, but he didn't reek of sex when I saw him next. That probably meant that he simply couldn't respond to them in the way he had hoped due to knowing of our mate's existence, but that alone wouldn't explain why he seems to be flirting with her once again.

Truthfully. It was Yoongi's lack of reaction that worried me the most. I knew his alter wanted her. That much was obvious. However, in all his interactions with her he had probably only said a total of thirty words to her. I knew it wasn't because he was outright ignoring her. He was a quiet person to begin with, but he needed to at least try to be more approachable to her. Perhaps, if he let some of his own guard down then Everleigh could meet him halfway.

I shook off all those concerns and headed to the main room. I was sure that Everleigh would be down any minute and ready to go over her next Fae lesson before watching the next movie about the world Tolkien created. Regarding our world, Mesmere, there was a lot to share and I feared we would never ever get through it all. Discussing the Ahrtne race first ended up being an intelligent way to begin. They aren't the only race of course, but they are probably the most populous and the royal Sidhe do act as the governing bodies to all of the courts outside of the Neutral territory.

Of course Everleigh surprised me when she announced where her head was. "Since we don't have as much time as we thought we would initially, I propose a discussion about Hell, Demons, Fiends, etc. Well, instead of the Fae discussion I mean. Don't get me wrong, I would like to work on that knowledge too, but since we are living in a Circle of Hell it only makes sense that I learn as much as I can about where I am currently residing."

After getting over my initial surprise I proceed with our discussion the same way I have proceeded with many of our conversations, by essentially asking her which direction we should guide it. Honestly, I love not only how inquisitive her mind can be, but also how much intellect she shows within her responses. The discussion is of course heavily weighted on our side, but she adds her own insight here and there. In fact I insist on asking for her own knowledge first before we move on to each important section. It's when she asks about Demonspawn that we all find ourselves in a pickle. "And how does a Demonspawn go about removing the corruption tainting their souls?"

"Um? What do we say here? I mean we have essentially worked out that she is more than likely simply our Mate and not our Center. But... if we tell her about the existence of Centers, doesn't that mean she might begin to correlate the possibility that she might be ours? I don't know about anyone else, but the idea just hits a little too close to home." Seokjin asks. "I shouldn't have brought up Demonspawn at all."

"No, Seokjin, you just took the conversation to the natural next direction. We were simply surprised by where her mind took it. We shouldn't have been though. Our mate is obviously exceptionally resourceful, and I am only pointing this out in hopes that none of us ever underestimate her in the future." I pause for a second to consider what to say next. "How does everyone feel about sharing our connection with her? Letting her know that we believe she is our shared mate?"

I'm not surprised that our enthusiastic youngest responds first. "I'm excited to see her reaction after we tell her. I somehow feel close to her already, and I know that learning that will make it easier to grow even closer."

"I'm not sure. I've accepted the idea of it, but I am still dealing with some personal things. Don't get me wrong, I know that I want her to know. I just don't know how ready I am to open up to her in that capacity yet." Seokjin sullenly admits.

"I think I am okay with her knowing. However, I feel like I only just recently accepted the truth myself. I don't know how easy it will be to switch gears on a level that I think she deserves." Hoseok offers before growling. "That doesn't mean my lust isn't trying to be a driving force with her. I just don't think I should use that as a way to get to know her. It's like using a battering ram instead of simply trying to knock on the door first." It takes him a second to realize his own words, and when he does of course he mentally redefines the statement with sexual innuendo attached.

"I think I want her to know. I want her to understand the pull between us. Perhaps it might close this gap I feel like we have between us." Taehyung surprisingly admits.

"I haven't been doing my part. I should be getting to know her, but I am concerned that my alter will try to lead me. I don't want that. I just don't know where to begin. How to open up." Yoongi surprisingly admits.

I mentally frown and look toward Jimin. "What do you think?"

"I don't think she's ready to know yet." Truthfully? That isn't true. Not even remotely. She needs to know, especially since she is worrying over the silly fact that she is attracted to all of us. Perhaps I shouldn't have responded that way. It's me that's not ready for her to know yet.

When it comes to reading emotions I am more proficient at reading others than my own at most times. So, I always have to take a moment to myself just to evaluate what I am feeling about most things. I've felt how connected she has felt to essentially all of us, and I have also felt how she has forced herself to try to keep herself restrained from her growing attachment. Originally I had rationalized that it was because she still views herself as a monster in so many ways, and while that emotion is there I'm skeptical and not sure that I believe it was her sole driving force. If the driving force behind her restraint isn't how she views herself as a monster, I have to admit that I haven't determined yet what it is, but I have discovered something else as I have tried to assess her emotions. I know that she's definitely hiding something.

Of course, I don't know what it is for certain. I suspect it has something to do with her shapeshifting/glamouring ability, but I could be wrong and it could also simply be that she is keeping a guard up due to how she views herself. Subconsciously I keep trying to convince myself that it isn't something I should be concerned about, because I am pretty sure she will share whatever it is with us in time. However I worry that the only reason I am trying to convince myself of such a thing is because of my connection to her. I couldn't be sure that I could say without hesitation that I have budding feelings for her, but that is only because I don't know for certain. I simply know I can't rely on my connection with her alone. After all, I have been burned too many times to count when I have confused not only my own feelings but others feelings when it comes to lust and love. Love is the most difficult emotion to read because of how it almost echoes the same feelings as lust.

Even in all of my 525 years of my life I still haven't fully grasped the difference. Personally, I've thought I was in love at least once or twice each century, and that number is at least doubled when it comes to the lovers I have had in my past regarding their own feelings about me. For a brief moment in time in my early years I even thought I would end up in marital bliss.

I smile down at Selphine as she gazes up at me adoringly. Her emotions saturate my entire being as I pull her into my arms. I never thought I could feel like this. I have all of the beauty of my mother, but my height stems solely from my faceless father's genetics. It is obvious I am no full blooded Sidhe, and yet she still sees me past all that. She too is on the shorter side for an Ahrtne, and I know that's because of her own mixed heritage.

I open my mouth to unveil the secret that I was somehow able to keep to myself without it reaching her first. "Selphine, I know without you having to tell me that you believe me to be full blooded Ahrtne." I sigh for a minute when I feel her confusion. She doesn't know about my empathic abilities either. I didn't want her to know that because in the past it has made others leery of even approaching me. I plan on sharing that bit of myself after I share this one first. "I don't know who he was, but I do know that my father was human."

I'm completely blindsided when she forcibly pushes me away from her. "You're a..a Halfbreed?!?!" The way she delivers the word isn't just filled with shock, but disdain as well. Her beautiful face morphs into something grotesque as she sneers at her new found knowledge. "I thought you accepted me despite the fact that you are Sidhe, and I am a mixed breed Stainnarhn'Ahrtne. A Wild Elf who has short ears and doesn't know her own mixed heritage for certain!"

Something inside me breaks, but I can't get lost in those emotions right now. She feels the same for me, despite the jumbled up mixed confusion of emotions I still feel that particular emotion within them fighting to break free from the balled up mass her emotions have now become. "Please, Selphine. I am still the same person I was only a few moments ago when I told you I loved you."

"And I was about to admit the same to you." For a brief moment I heard that love she felt in her words. Before she sighs and adds the words that drive the nail into the coffin of our relationship. "I am so glad I didn't." Then she turns and runs away from me.

The desire to run after her is nearly crippling, but I know that it will do no good. That bright love I saw shining in her has legitimately been consumed by the other emotions swirling within her. So, instead I let her run out of my life forever.

I've risked my heart several other times since then, and while the reasoning has not been the same they all end in essentially the same manner. The only relationship before now that was ended by me was because she was human. She noticed I wasn't aging after a few years of us being together, and while I could have glamoured myself to age alongside her I knew it would be easier on the both of us if I ended it right then.

A/N:  So, while you don't learn Tae's Fae side, you do get some more clues.  Also, you learned Jimin's side.  Did you expect that?

On a personal note, I haven't been really doing well lately.  I've been sick off and on, and there is some more medical stuff going on that I need to get sorted out.  Because of it, I haven't really been able to focus on my writing like I would like.  I'm hoping to get back into the swing of it, but if I continue to have problems I may have to move updates to every other week, or take a few weeks off to play catch up.  I'm really hoping that isn't the case, but I wanted to give everyone a heads up just in case.