(Readers are strongly recommended 17+)

          I hate her so much.

          There she is again, staring at me across the room with those haunting eyes, similar to the night I met her. I do everything I can to avoid eye contact, but I always give in as I bring my cup of alcohol back to my lips. We were the definition of a toxic "couple," if you could even call us that. Constantly arguing, saying the most awful things to one another, breaking up, then getting back together. It was the most vicious cycle, but there's no question the lust between us has never been stronger, especially as tonight is the graduation party and we'll be going our separate ways in less than two weeks. It was almost an addiction in itself, the fighting...the making up...the sex. Ugh...just thinking about her lips drives me batshit crazy, but my heart is telling me otherwise.

          I know deep down she doesn't really love me back. I thought she did at first. I'd never felt so happy in my entire life, only for her sadistic ways to crush me down and crumble like the twin towers themselves. I wanted a committed relationship...she wanted one thing. I'll admit it, she was the first girl I cried over. But she wasn't worth my tears. She isn't worth my time in general. All my boys tell me to let her go and that she's for the streets, but I always end up falling under her spell and regretting it after. She is a sick, vile creature, getting off by playing with my emotions and finding ways to manipulate and control me for her own personal needs and satisfaction. I wish I'd never met her. She's nothing but pure evil.

          I let my boys know I'm heading to the back deck for some fresh air. I have to get away from her gaze. I nudge my way through groups of students, partying and laughing over the loud music, discussing their plans for graduation coming up in under two weeks.

          As I reach the deck, I close the door behind me and feel the cool summer breeze blow over me. I'm all alone looking up at the stars, contemplating how this transition in my life will play out. I'm nervous, yet also excited for the future. I have so much to live for, but sadly I invest so much of that energy into the wrong people.

          Just like that, right on cue, I hear the door of the back deck open behind me. I don't even need to look. I'll already know who it is.

          "What do you want?" I ask, keeping my gaze forward.

          "You know what I want," she replies in a rather seductive tone. "And you know what you want."

          "No. I really don't."

          "You sure about that?"

          "Yes."

          "Because you seemed like you were enjoying it last time."

          "That's when I thought you loved me. I've had enough of you hurting me."

          "Hurting you?" She huffs.

          "You've destroyed me with your lies and deception." I can't even look at her.

          "That's funny. Last time I checked, you broke my heart first."

          "How?" I respond coldly.

          "We've talked about this a hundred times. By lying to me that you weren't finished with Jessica."

          "I was finished with her," I say, getting defensive. "She was out of town and didn't have her phone. There was literally zero way for me to break up with her."

          "You're funny. Maybe you should've kept your mouth shut about her and used it for something else with me...if you know what I mean." She's now standing near the end of the deck, a few feet of space in between us.

          "Wouldn't have mattered. You'd still find a way to make this all about yourself. You always do."

          "Says you. It's not my fault you couldn't resist catching feelings after just one time with me. That's why I didn't take you seriously after finding out about Jessica."

          "Fuck Jessica," I retort. "I don't even understand why you bring her up at this point. She was completely out of the picture by the time I was ready to be with you."

          "That's not what I heard. Why did Taressa send me screenshots of you flirting together on Facebook while you said we were official."

          "Bro...how many times am I gonna tell you, those were old? Do you not know what the word 'old' means?" She's already starting to get me worked up and loves that. As I said, she's nothing but evil.

          "How am I supposed to believe that? Claire said you have a past for seeing multiple girls at once."

           "Oh, great. Here we go down the rabbit hole again of all your friends who have 'dirt' on me."

          "Well, why are they telling me that?" she asks with a pompous hand on her hip. "If they're my friends, obviously they're gonna stick out for me."

          "Claire has always been bitter because Johnny didn't like her back in the tenth grade, and as for Taressa, she's a bit of a loose screw herself."

           "It doesn't matter. You were the one who hurt me first. Can't you see that? So yes, I slept with Adam to hurt you back at Johhny's party, and it sure worked because you went on a little tantrum on Instagram the next day about how I 'did you wrong' and called me a whore."

          "That's not true." I walk away from her to the other side of the deck. "And don't talk about that moment. I was in a bad place mentally and needed you there for me, and instead you went and fucked my ex-best friend behind my back."

          "Yeah, well. Learn not to play with someone's emotions. And besides...I never fucked him the way I used to fuck you."

          Ugh...walk away. Don't play into her games.

          "I don't understand you," I reply, not being able to deny her words are slowly becoming more erotic for me, despite my deep, dark hatred for her and the utter hell she's put me through.

          "I never understood you," she fires back. "You acted like I was the love of your life, yet were still in a relationship with someone you know I didn't see eye to eye with to begin."

           "Whatever." I can never win with her.

          There's a slight pause between us.

          "Well, why don't we actually do something about this tension and hostility between us, rather than stand around here like a bunch of assholes," she suggests. "I'd rather take you inside somewhere private than argue out here with your boring ass."

          "Not happening," I reassure her. But the more I play into her game, the more tempted I become.

          "Why not? One more time doesn't hurt. In two weeks we'll both be graduating and never see each other again. You'll be going out west, and I'll be full-time in college."

          "Yeah...well, I'm not sure if I ever want to see you again."

          "Ouch. Now who's being harsh?"

          "I told you I wanted a committed relationship. The more we hook up, the more heartbroken you make me. I have nothing left inside me because of you."

          "No you didn't want a relationship," she retorts, rolling her eyes. "If that were the case, you would have made sure Jessica was 100% out of the picture by the time I came in. End of story."

          God, she makes me so fucking angry. The fact I'm even giving her this attention and trying to win this argument is mind-boggling. It's a no-win situation for me.

          "How could you do this to me?" I ask. "Do you not understand how bad you've hurt me?"

          "As I said, I'm offering to make it up to you right now."

          "I'm talking on an emotional level. I'm not interested in that."

          "Why not? I thought you liked it when I teased you. Remember all the late-night love notes you used to send me? I'd be getting so many messages from your desperate ass I had to turn off my notifications." She reaches into her pocket, about to pull out her phone. "I could bring them up now if you want. Maybe I should show everyone and embarrass you for calling me a whore on social media."

          "Please don't," I reply. "Look, I called you that because of what you did to me. Don't you get it? I thought we were in love."

          "You keep talking about 'love' like you're some big-shot dating coach. Next time you should remind yourself that most people aren't interested in an open relationship, and you need to actually dump your previous partner before getting with your new one."

          I have nothing left to say to her. She always finds a way to leave me speechless, yet for all the wrong reasons.

          There's another patch of silence between us.

          "Look," she says, walking over and standing beside me, closer than ever tonight. "At the end of the day, we hurt each other, okay? You weren't loyal, and neither was I." 

          I look into her innocent yet demonic eyes for a split second, close enough I can feel her warm breath hitching against me.

          "So why don't we do our thing and say goodbye...this time for good, alright?" She bites her lip while looking at me.

          I must be so lost in life to even give her this attention. She's fucked me up so bad in the head. 

          Without even realizing it, going against my judgement, I lean in and feel our lips connect, as we begin to slowly make out to the rhythm of the music playing inside the house party.

          "I fucking hate you so much," I say in between kisses.

          "Oh...no you don't," she replies with a soft moan, running her hands through my hair as we get more passionate with one another 

          If only I had known from the start this girl would be the death of me.

          Because for her...

          I'm thinking with the wrong head.