While everyone else was excited and waiting in prolonged anticipation of the new born, Azula was absolutely terrified. Never in her life had she interacted up close and personal with a baby before. Even when Tom Tom was little she kept her distance, watching and caring from afar more than anything else. But this would be different. She'd officially be an aunt which was even more terrifying.
As a result, she let the others crowd into the hallway and wait for hours on end for some indication that the delivery had gone smoothly. While they whispered and waited, Azula was busy doing anything and everything other than waiting for some fragile little human to be born. She carried on with her day like nothing unusual was happening.
Maybe it was a bit cold shouldered but she had her reasons. There was no sense in staring at a door until your eyes grew numb. Besides, Mai was a private person, and Azula was certain if she knew how many people were lurking just outside, she'd threaten to kill them all. Even if they were family.
Never the less, there was only so much the princess could do to escape the inevitable. After what felt like forever, news finally reached her that the fire nation's future leader had finally entered the real world. She was happy, but it was a restrained sort of happiness.
Sure, she was glad her brother finally had a kid of his own. It's all he'd talked about for the past few years, but it only brought up old anxieties for the princess. While she knew Zuko would be an excellent father, she knew how easy it was to mess up your kids. Having been on the receiving end herself, Azula was determined to stay as far away from the baby as possible. She was too much like her father to feel comfortable with anything else.
Sure, she'd reflected on her past, grown from it, and become quite a different person, but that didn't mean she'd killed all of her old habits. Some had a tendency to linger and others couldn't exactly go away. The last thing she wanted was to terrify an impressionable little girl because shadows started talking and whispers echoed in the halls that weren't really there.
So Azula waited until everyone else had gotten a chance to hold the baby and smother it in affection before risking an adventure into the hallway. Only this time it wasn't clogged full of people. Instead, it was empty. With a reluctant sigh, she stepped into the room instinctively scanning it and retaining every detail she possibly could.
Mai was fast asleep, rightfully so, but you never would have guessed she'd managed to pop out a child. She looked peaceful, content, and surprisingly beautiful. Zuko on the other hand was a mess. His hair was wild and he had dark circles beneath his eyes, but a wide smile was plastered across his face. In his arms was a bundle of blankets that squirmed every now and then.
Of course, there was Ty Lee who looked just as worn out as Zuko. Azula got the impression that the adorable little acrobat had done her best to keep things calm and orderly as everyone tried to get a proper look at the new born.
"I wondered when you'd stop by," Zuko whispered, doing his best not to wake Mai. "Would you like to hold her?"
There it was. The question Azula had been dreading for an impossibly long time.
"I...no thank you," Azula muttered, aware of her brother's crest fallen look.
"Awe, come on. You'll be fine," he encouraged.
"I'd rather not." Azula's words were harsher than she intended but it was more from fear than anything else. As if to solidify her decision, she clasped her hands behind her back. Nodding, Zuko instead handed the sleeping little girl over to Kiyi.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, seeming to understand that there was something else behind Azula's refusal.
"Preferably, no, but I get the impression I don't have much of a choice in that matter," she sighed, sparing Ty Lee a glance. The acrobat also seemed a bit confused about Azula's actions, but unlike Zuko she didn't bother questioning it. She'd learned a long time ago that Azula would explain things when she wanted to.
"Come on. It'll be good for you," Zuko insisted, "besides, I need to get out of this stuffy room for a bit."
Shooting Ty Lee a pleading look, Azula was dragged out of the room and eventually out into the courtyard. She wasn't exactly pleased about having to explain her feelings, but it was even worse that she had to explain them to Zuko.
"Alright, whenever you're ready," He sighed, taking a seat by one of the fountains.
Silence settled between the two siblings as Azula grappled with her thoughts and feelings. While she'd grown closer to Zuko over the years, it wasn't as natural to open up to him as it was with Ty Lee or even Mai.
"I don't like babies," Azula sighed, breaking the silence at last. Her remark drew out a laugh from Zuko.
"Right," he snorted, "come on. Give me more than that."
"Fine." With a huff, Azula stared intently at a weed growing between the cracks of the stone steps leading to the fountain. "They're fragile, okay? It's...weird. I don't trust myself enough to hold one let alone be around one."
"Last time I checked, beating up newborns wasn't on your resume," Zuko teased, gently nudging his sister. "Give yourself more credit. Besides, don't you think Ty Lee would find it absolutely adorable if you-"
"Don't use her against me," Azula glowered, "besides, she knows I'm not really kid friendly. We've talked about it before."
"What do you mean?" Zuko asked, his smile fading ever so slightly.
"She's great with kids. Everyone loves her, believe me, I get it. And I know she'd love to have a family or something but I want nothing to do with that. I don't want to drag another impressionable human being into the mess I've been working through for decades. It's not for me," Azula explained. She hated that she was even discussing this with her brother of all people, but it also felt good to get it out.
"You feel like you're cheating her out of a future don't you?" He asked, somehow much more perceptive than Azula gave him credit for. "Don't hold that against yourself. She's stuck by you through everything. I doubt that'll be the straw that breaks the camel horse's back. As for your apprehension around kids, you don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with. Just give it a chance. If you're having one of your bad days, you don't have to explain yourself for not wanting to interact with Izumi."
"Izumi?" Azula questioned.
"That's her name," Zuko smiled, his eyes lighting up happily. "Do you like it?"
"I do. It's...elegant in a way," Azula agreed. Then a pause. "I guess I'm just nervous. Which is foolish because she's not even my kid."
"You're nervous? So am I! We'll get through it together," he laughed, slinging an arm around his little sister's shoulders. "Although, there is one perk about babies that you should probably know."
"What's that?" Azula asked, deciding to humor her brother.
"They love everyone no matter what. That's how you used to be when you were first born. I could get you to laugh until your face turned red. Now I can make you mad until your face turns red." It was cheesy, Azula had to admit, but it did ease her nerves a bit. Maybe he was right. She was being too hard on herself. After all, being a distant relative hadn't exactly worked out for a lot of people in her family. While Azula loved Uncle Iroh, he hadn't exactly been present in her life. She'd never tell him, but it hurt her emotionally in a lot of ways. At the very least, Azula could do better than that.
"I hate that you've made me feel better somehow. It's gross," the princess frowned.
"You'll get over it. Come on." Standing, Zuko offered a hand to his sister, and together they walked back inside.
Despite their talk, Azula was still rather nervous when Zuko managed to settle little Izumi in her arms. For a moment she panicked and considered passing the baby back over when she saw two gold little eyes peering back at her. While the others had whispered to the tiny baby, Azula said nothing. Instead, she just stared into those two small eyes.
They were bright and clear and innocent. Within them were a million possibilities and a million untapped futures. It was frightening but endearing all at once. For a moment, she wondered if she'd used to look like that. So helpless and cute, with a small nose and wispy hair.
Then something even worse happened. Izumi smiled and made some garbled form of a laugh. It was frightening in a way, and completely unexpected. "Um...did I do something wrong?"
"No, silly, she likes you!" Ty Lee smiled, finding Azula's mildly horrified expression quiet amusing.
"But I didn't do anything," the princess frowned, moving to hand Izumi back over to Zuko. She nearly succeeded when Izumi started to cry, her little face scrunching up in protest.
"Sorry sis, it seems that she really really likes you. You're stuck with her now. Besides, I need sleep," Zuko mused.
"That's not fair!" Azula whispered fiercely, her eyes narrowing.
"Hey, I don't make the rules," Zuko shrugged. "You're doing great."
With that, he left for the time being, most likely to wash up and take a nap. Now stuck with a baby in her arms, Azula grudgingly sat down beside the pink clad acrobat.
"I hate this," she huffed.
"No you don't. Admit it, some small part of you is smug about the fact that she likes you more than her own dad," Ty Lee laughed. When it was put like that, Azula did find some form of satisfaction in that fact. "Besides, you look cute holding her."
"She's kind of like a wrinkled potato," Azula muttered, choosing to ignore the compliment out of spite because somehow Zuko had predicted such a thing.
Rolling her eyes, Ty Lee pressed a light kiss to Azula's cheek. "You realize I'm going to do everything in my power to make her like me more than you, right?"
"Is that a challenge?" Azula asked, arching a brow at her partner.
"It's more of a promise," Ty Lee replied coyly. "I'm really persuasive."
"Hm," Azula hummed, slowly growing more comfortable with the small human tucked safely in her arms. "You're on. I just hope you realize what you're getting yourself into. I don't like losing."
"I'll take my chances," the acrobat insisted, resting her head on the princess' shoulder. "But we can start all of that tomorrow. I'm tired."
"Yeah, yeah," Azula sighed, making herself comfortable for the time being, knowing that soon enough she'd be holding one sleeping baby, and one sleeping acrobat. The more she thought about that, the more she realized that maybe babies weren't as horrible as she'd originally thought. So long as she could give them back to their parents when need be.