This first chapter is dedicated to sallymasonxxx for helping me so much with furthering my writing and being just an all out great friend and mentor. Your advice always means a lot to me, and helps me grow as a writer every day.

My life used to have meaning. I used to have so much potential, but now all those plans I had had for a future were no more than a distant memory that laughed in my face. Each and every empty can of beer and burnt out cigarette that littered the house was a reminder of what my life was now.

When I had first met Reed, I should have seen the signs. Not only was he a drug dealer, but he was manipulative, narcissistic, and he never showed any hint of kindness. That wasn't enough of a warning for me to stay away, though. He was the type of guy I was attracted to at the time - determined and in control.

The thought had never occured to me that I would get sucked into everything that was going on around here, but when Reed got hold of something he wanted, he didn't let go. Our relationship wasn't supposed to last - he was supposed to be my last act of rebellion before starting my college years. Now college seemed out of the question.

For as long as I could remember, I had always wanted to make something of my life. Becoming the person I was now wasn't what I had planned, and now there was no going back.

All my thoughts were interrupted when I heard the front door open from downstairs. Heavy footsteps could be heard throughout the house, signaling the gang was back from whatever they went out to do.

Reed had told me a lot more than he was supposed to, but I didn't always get to find out what he and his friends were doing in their free time. Usually I didn't want to know. I already feared him enough without knowing what he was up to, and I was afraid that if I found out anything more, I'd be running for my life.

Not like there was anywhere for me to go anymore. After it was too late, and I found out that leaving Reed wasn't an option, my family disowned me, and my friends no longer wanted anything to do with me.

The sad reality of it all was that I could have stopped my life from becoming this way, but I had to act like I had something to prove, and now, here I was.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, estrela?" Reed leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed in front of his chest - an amused smirk on his lips. His dark brown hair was styled upwards so that it was out of his face, and his gray eyes pierced mine with their usual broodiness that was hard to overlook.

Today he wore his usual attire that fit his laid back personality. It was unfair that he could pull off that look so well, capturing me in a daze. A zip up hoodie sat comfortably under his leather jacket and the skinny jeans he wore fit him to perfection. Combat boots were loosely tied to complete the ensemble.

Everything about his appearance had drawn me to him in the beginning. He was bate - a danger to any girl who wasn't expecting to get hooked.

"Nothing." I forced a smile and closed the distance between us.

His arms found their way around my waist as he pulled me closer to him. The strong scent of his cologne gave the illusion of a safe haven - a feeling I used to associate with what I thought was home. My head rested against his chest as he held me tightly, taking in a whiff of my hair as he pressed his mouth on the top of my head, kissing me before I was released from his hold.

"It's always nothing with you," he chuckled. His hand grabbed a hold of my chin and turned my face up to meet his gaze. My blue eyes were dull compared to the captivating gray ones that he was graced with. Every muscle in my body wanted to tense as he looked me over, almost like he was examinating me, but I stayed calm.

Without warning, both his hands cupped my face and his lips collided with mine. I could taste a faint hint of smoke on his tongue as he glided it over my own. The taste that used to make me want to gag didn't bother me as much anymore. I was accustomed to it now.

While Reed kissed me, his hands traveled all over my body. He kept walking forward, forcing me to follow his lead and take a few steps back. The pattern continued until my back hit roughly against the wall. I let out a small squeak, a sound he often mistook for a moan instead of actual pain, but I still didn't stop him.

My hand found the zipper of his leather jacket, and I helped him shake it off and it fell in a heap on the floor. A firm grip found its way on my legs, and he adjusted them by pulling them tightly around his waist.

His lips traveled down my jaw line, and went to bite my neck hungrily. This time, a moan of pleasure erupted from my lips in place of a pained one. The assault on my neck continued while a firm grip tightened around my breast. Since I didn't have a bra on under my shirt, he found my nipple easily, pinching hard, and I gasped.

There was a stirring in my lower region as he went from a light massage to pinching - a sadistic pattern he often liked to play out. My legs were secured around his torso, and he grinned against my sweet spot, but his hand traveled south.

I silently thanked myself for deciding to keep on my pajama shorts instead of changing into my jeans, giving him easy access. Once his fingers slipped under my panties, a soft moan left me as he teased me down there, taking his time with getting to the good part.

Usually I would have tried to stop him from going any further, but the feeling of him touching me was better than any form of ecstasy.

The agonizing torture was finally over - my breath caught at the back of my throat as he shoved his fingers inside of me. A thankful groan vibrated from me, and I ran my hands through Reed's hair, using it as a means of getting his lips back on mine.

A burst of energy laced through me as I grinded myself against him. The two of us breathed what we could through our noses until it was too much for us to bear. When our lips separated for a second, we inhaled deep breaths of air.

I leaned my head back against the wall as he continued to put his effort into pleasing me. Right once I came close to the edge, he brought me back to reality by pulling out of me. A weak whimper escaped me when I realized the sensation I felt was slowly slipping away.

Reed chuckled and started to undo the button of his pants with only one hand, while the other was balled into a fist in my hair.

"Wait," I said, my voice sounding out of breath. "Not now."

"Toni." Those gray eyes darkened immediately. "Do you want dinner tonight, or not?"

I hesitate for a second, thinking over my options. Was I not hungry enough to test him right now? Eventually, I gave in. "Yes."

"Then you got to give a little to get a little."

Slowly, I bobbed my head up and down. A sly smile suddenly pulled at my lips, fooling him into thinking I was just as into what I had to do as he was. "Lemme' get that for you then."

A satisfied smirk appeared on his face as his eyes filled with lust.

My legs that were wrapped around Reed's waist only seconds ago, made sure my feet found their way back to the floor. He backed up a couple steps to make room between me and the wall.

As I slid my hands over his chest, I still couldn't help but gasp at the tightness of his torso that could only be achieved through long hours at the gym. They continued to run down to the waist of his jeans until they found the zipper.

I took a deep breath, and got down on my knees.

Besides Reed, there was only one person in this house I'd considered a 'friend', and that was Emerson.

Emerson Pereira definitely wasn't like the best friends I used to have. I couldn't talk with him about how I felt, or how my day was, but at the end of the day, it was still evident that he cared for me. At least, a little.

The both of us sat on the rundown couch in the dungy living room - the only items not in a rotten state were the plasma screen and the sound system. When we first got it, I thought the guys had stolen it, but apparently their little business was going better than usual lately. Reed was even talking about replacing all the furniture on the bottom floor.

Our house wasn't all that big. Just two floors with four bedrooms and two bathrooms. There was an attic upstairs that Emerson had cleared out and turned into a bedroom for himself.

Reed and I shared a room together. It wasn't all that bad, but some nights he'd want sex and I was too tired to comply - too bad I didn't have a choice in the matter. What he wanted, he could take. Those were the rules of the whole house. He was the big boss, in charge of the whole entire operation, and that meant he didn't have to answer to anyone.

There was no competition on the streets either, and Reed made sure to keep it that way.

Emerson reached for the remote that was on my lap and changed the channel.

"Hey, I was watching that!" I yelled, outraged.

"No, you were spacing out again," he corrected.

I sighed, "Was I?"

He didn't answer, just pulled out a cigarette and inhaled deeply as he lit it. "You want one?" After he asked, he let out the smoke that settled in his lungs. He held out a box of Lucky Strikes, and I took one immediately.

Smoking wasn't usually my thing, but today wasn't a great day so far, and I needed it. I held the cig between my teeth before taking the lighter from his hands. "Thanks," I said, sucking in a deep breath, the end of the cigarette burning bright as I did so.

The smoke made me erupt in a fit of coughs. It was a while since I smoked over my lungs, it mostly didn't go passed my throat.

When I finally regained my bearings, I asked, "So, where is everyone anyways?"

"Just out." Emerson avoided eye contact with me, his tone implying that I shouldn't ask any more questions.

Sometimes even your friends in this world had to keep things from you. Change were the Reed would end up telling me anyways. I could say what I wanted about Reed, but somewhere in that sick twisted head of his, he had feelings for me. Feelings that clouded his judgement on more than one occasion.

"Well," I started up again. "when will they be back?"

"Toni, will you stop with all the fucking questions?!"

I took another drag of my cigarette and tapped the end over the ash tray, letting foul snow fall into the little bowl. "Yeah, sorry I asked."

Emerson grunted, but it seemed to be more towards himself than me. Wrapping his arm around my shoulder, he pulled me closer. "Sorry, T. I've been a little tempermental lately."

"Menstrual problems?" I sent a teasing grin his way.

"Ha, ha." Emerson leaned forward to put out his cigarette and grabbed his Coke as he leaned back again. "Maybe you should calm down on the jokes, before I retaliate."

I raised a brow at him and giggled. "Retaliate? What you going to do, waterboard me with your drink?"

"I'd be careful if I were you," he grinned. "Soda can turn from soft drink to torture device in a heartbeat."

"I doubt that."

He let out a hearty chuckle. "One of these days you'll learn to take me seriously."

"I doubt that as well." I smirked at him and took the drink from his hand.

The Coke was snatched away from me after I took a sip, and Emerson ran off to his room upstairs. As per usual, our conversation didn't last long, but it was fun while it lasted.

Letting out a huff, I put out my cig before grabbing the remote from the spot that Emerson was just sitting and changed the channel back to what I was watching. It wasn't surprising that he wanted to change it considering it was a show for young teens, but the whole storyline was so innocent, and I needed a little innocence in my life lately.

When you live under the same roof as six different, older guys, things exceed the PG rating faster than most people would be comfortable with.

Me, on the other hand, I was used to it. I was used to the weekly parties, the slutty girls who often stayed over, and the constant dealing talking that hovered around the house like an infection.

After the show was over and the credits started to roll, I turned off the TV and shut my eyes for a minute. When my eyes finally fluttered open, Reed was leaning over me - his grey eyes without emotion, but I knew his current mood. His gaze shifted to my forehead and he kissed it lightly before pulling my body up from the couch.

Darkness surrounded the house, so I could only assume it was late - although it felt like I hadn't even been asleep for a second.

I rested my head against Reed's shoulder as he made his way up the stairs. He didn't show any sign of a struggle with me in his arms, even though my dead weight probably made it harder.

My body snuggled closer as the heat from Reed's comforted the cold of my own. It wasn't enough to warm me completely, but it kept me satisfied until he tucked me into my side of the bed. For once I welcomed Reed's presence as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer in an attempt to keep me warm.

It was times like this when I didn't mind having him around. This was a side of Reed that wasn't often wittnessed, but always adored when given the chance to see.

"Night Toni," he whispered, his voice raspy from exhaustion.

I stir a little, but I'm too tired to say anything. A small, content hum is the only thing that escaped me before I fell asleep in the arms of the man I could never love.

***

Thank you so much to everyone who has started reading Leave Me Unraveled. Please leave any feedback to tell me how I'm doing with this story so far. Your comments will help me know what you're thinking and let me know that this story is worth pursuing.

 What do you think of the main character Toni so far? Is she likeable? And what about Reed?

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Until chapter two,

 TheWriterD XD