The clouds gently drift peacefully across the blue sky.
The breeze blows softly.
Everything is peaceful.
But all that can change in an instant.
The skies can easily shift from bright blue to an eerie grey.
The clouds can become dark and stormy, signalling that a storm is upon us.
The beautiful calm can instantly turn into a chaotic storm.
The skies can fool you into thinking that the weather is sunny and it will be another beautiful day. However, when you finally step outside, it is bitter cold.
The calm before the storm.
Everything can change in an instant.

Rin had learned that in the worst way imaginable.

Rin gazes up into the sky. It was early in the morning, classes would not start for a good while. He usually spent most mornings going for a run with Kuro, or just wandering through the woods just outside of True Cross Academy. Usually some lower ranked demons such as Coal Tars or Hobgoblins would join him and Kuro. Right now, they were his only company.

Everyone else had left him. Those who he thought were his friends and family abandoned him. He knew that they would when they found out, he just hoped they wouldn't. Deep down, he wanted someone to prove to him that he could rely on others. He wanted someone to prove to him that he wasn't alone in the world. He wanted someone to prove him wrong.
He didn't want to believe that his friends would leave him, he wanted to believe they'd be there for him no matter what. He wanted to believe that his brother didn't mean it when he wished that Rin had been the one killed by Satan instead of their father.
He wanted to believe that everything would turn out to be okay. But he didn't. He didn't believe any of it.
He wished someone would be able to prove him wrong, but no one did. And by the looks of it, no one ever will.

They all shunned him.

He could feel their hateful glares on him whenever he walked into the cram school.
If looks could kill, he'd be dead.

They never listened to what he had to say. Rin mastered controlling his flames not too long after the trip to Kyoto. But it was useless, they wouldn't give him the chance to tell them.

They would never talk to Rin directly.
Thanks to his demonic abilities, he had heightened senses. He can hear every word they say about him behind his back no matter how softly they whisper it, or how far away they are from him.

The isolation is eating him up inside.
He's so lonely all the time.
He has so many pent up emotions, but he has no one to talk to.
No one to spill his guts to.
It's tearing up his mind.
Out of desperation to relieve himself from the pent up frustrations he had returned to old habits.

Rin traced the outline of his scars on his arm, they were still fresh, he could still feel the sting. He used to avoid making cuts on his arm so no one would see, but he had given up on hiding them so well. He'd never tell anyone about it, especially not his younger brother, Yukio. Yet again, even if they'd found out, it's not like they would care. They had even flat out told him to kill himself and that they wouldn't care if he died.

If no one cared if he were dead, why is he still alive?

Being half demon, suicide isn't exactly easy.

So why doesn't he turn himself in to the Vatican and have them execute him? He had thought about that. However, he still had a sliver of hope that someone, somewhere out there cared for him. At least a little bit.

He still had Kuro, he wouldn't want to upset the little guy. Although, he could always ask someone else to take care of him.

But besides Kuro, what reason did he have to live?

He was the bastard son of Satan.
He was a monster.
A burden.
A killer.
A screw up.
A good for nothing demon.

If Rin were never born, so many people would not have died on the night of the Blue Night. His mother Yuri might still be alive. Shiro, his true father, might still be alive. Konekomaru's parents and Shima's older brother, they might still be alive. Just his birth alone cost the world so many lives and caused people sorrow.

If he were dead, Yukio wouldn't have to worry about him. He could become a doctor, or a great exorcist. His classmates would have no reason to be scared of him. People's lives would probably benefit from his death.

He wished he could do them all a favour and rid the world of himself.
He wanted to die.
To end his and other people's suffering.

Though, he couldn't help but feel that everything would be better, if things were just a little bit different.

He hated this life.

He'd leave it all behind at the drop of a hat.