Touch is a critical cornerstone of any successful relationship — & that doesn’t just mean sex, though we love that one too. Physical contact brings an intimacy & connection that words alone can’t achieve.

Your hands wield the power to bring pleasure to your man’s neck, shoulders, & back in a way that will turn him into a lump of intensely satisfied goo, all while bringing you closer together. It’s nothing but win! Here’s how you’re going to do it.

Step 1 – Start with Some Light Preparation

Make sure your nails are trimmed. Otherwise you may scratch your man unintentionally. Or he might be really into that, in which case ignore this step entirely.

Grab some oil or lotion & set it aside. This going to make the melting a million times meltier.

Consider heating up the lotion or oil by sticking it in a bowl of warm water, or by putting it in the microwave for no more than 15 seconds.

Make sure your hands are nice & warm as well. Run them under some hot water (not too hot though, as burns make for a very unsexy massage). Dry them real good before you start.

Make sure the room itself is warm. Sensing a theme? All things warm! Cold stuff & sensual massage just don’t mix.

As a bonus, consider the ambiance of the room. Sexy music & dim lighting can go a long way towards setting the mood. Kids & dogs & general chaos will have the opposite effect.

Step 2 – Warm Up His Body

Lay your man out on the bed face down. If you were a trained massage therapist you would have a professional table, but we’re guessing you’re not one of those, so the bed works just fine. If a bed is not available, keeping him in a chair is also OK.

Consider taking off his shirt regardless of where he is situated. You’ll have more access that way.

Using your palm like a cat’s paw, spend 3 to 5 minutes slowly kneading down the back from the shoulders all the way to the sacrum (which is basically the tailbone area). Focus on either side of the spine. Go gentle at first. He’ll immediately relax, & you’ll get clues about what he likes. Listen to his sounds. Those will tell you what’s working for him.

Remember, this is just warming things up. The key is to get him ready for what is to come.

Step 3 – Commence the Melting

Start by lightly running your nails or fingertips down his back, then up the neck & into the hair. You can further work across the shoulders as well. These are called nerve-strokes, & they are utterly goosebump-inducing. This will REALLY warm things up.

Next, grab your oil or lotion. Start with a dab or two. Remember you can always put more on, but you can never take more off.

Begin rubbing the oil on his back using light, superficial strokes with palm. The technical term for this is effleurage – ooh la la! Move down the sides of the spine & cover the shoulders. The purpose of the oil is to reduce friction & help with nice, glidey strokes. Yes, glidey is also a technical term.

You don’t have to rush anything. You can repeat these steps more than once to get your partner further relaxed & ready for what is coming.

Step 4 – Increase the Pressure & Intensity (In the Best Way Possible)

Next we will employ what are called petrissage techniques. You can totally mix & match here. This is where the massage will get deeper & more concentrated on your partner’s areas of tension.

Technique 1

Starting at the shoulders, use both hands to “scoop” the muscles. You’ll use a grasping motion, employing the thumb & pointer fingers to lift, squeeze, & knead back & forth. It is a lot like kneading dough, but in this case the dough is hot man muscle.

Technique 2

Make fists with your hands & do either short repetitive strokes or long strokes down either side of the spine. Both work great!

Technique 3

Use your thumbs to dig into any tight spots your encounter along the way. Careful not to overdo it. Communication is key. Be sure to check in & ask whether something is OK before you apply Incredible Hulk pressure.

Technique 4

Work in more nerve-strokes by lightly running the fingers or the nails along their back in between the rubs.

Bonus Technique 5

To make it extra mega super melty, you can also kiss him on the back of his neck occasionally during this process. This is not a standard massage therapist practice, but hey, relationships come with certain benefits.

Step 5 – Work His Head Too

Back rubs are wonderful, but there is a lot of power in massaging the head as well. Consider this one a bonus to the bonus,

If he’s on his back on the bed, kneel at their head & place your hands on the forehead. Otherwise move behind him on the chair, gently wrapping your fingers around from the back.

Using your thumbs or fingertips, do small circular motions across their head, front to back, & top to bottom.

Be careful about pulling hair. Aim for the scalp as you are moving around.

Pay special attention to the temples, as this is a stress collection zone. You can work down to the jaw a bit too (another serious tension trap).

Practice, Practice, Practice

Above all else, good massage takes consistent practice. You may not be a master on your first round & that is OK. The vast majority of guys out there aren’t going to mind playing a bit of guinea pig while you work out the kinks in all the ways.