Hi everyone :) I want to begin by thanking God and all readers who are reading this story and giving so much support to the story and the writer :) I got a lot of response and feedback from readers on a "Clarification Post" I put yesterday where I got a lot of feedback and so much love and support and I felt overwhelmed. I unpublished that post because many told me I should never clarify my story, but I want to thank all of you because I read all of your comments and thank you for giving so much love to me and the story :) Thank you so so so much :)

I know everyone wants the rituals to go fast, but believe me once new twists start coming many would want to see these happy moments again, so that is why I have slowed the story. I have to show family drama as well and I know some readers prefer more romance, but this family drama is essential to set the future tracks coming up.

Next chapters are speeding up with rituals and I am trying my best to get rid them of as soon as possible. I am so sorry if you were bored, but I had to add this family aspect because it was needed and so were Shivika's small moments because once new tracks happen, manny just might miss these moments.

Wedding chapters will be posted. Lot of content including drama and romance is coming hence the update are coming weekly with rituals, but thank you for your patience :) I just want everyone to enjoy these updates because everyone has reading this story for so long and have been waiting for the wedding for so long.

Every single scene in this chapter has a meaning. Family drama is building future mystery tracks that will test Shivika's marriage. Shivika's bedroom scene with necklace shows how Shivaay will treat Anika and they might come in conflict due to money. The lingerie scene hints at the complex intimacy Shivika will share in their marriage. Shivaay and Anika's father scene is a very important scene that hints at a future track.

Thank you for reading and if you wish you may vote, comment, and share :)

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Shivaay's Point of View

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The wind continued to rush by trying to make us breathe while we were going underneath the surface wanting to drown, but knowing that was not the option...wanting to recede, but love pulling back...wanting to leave, but two precious lives telling us to hold on.

Screams continuing to ring in my ears...My screams. The screams taunting me in reminder of what happened in that distant past which now appears to be a stranger to me.

The crystals of venom still lingering on my lips reminding me of the high I would find as an escape on many nights...in dark alleys...shattered lighting of pubs...and even an empty room finding myself embracing that hallow person without a soul...me.

Seemingly, the emptiness found was completed with Anika...I don't know what it was and I still don't know, but she understands me...holds me...makes me feel loved the way I never have felt before...No one has ever loved me. No one. I have never felt loved until she came. I did everything to push her away, but she kept loving me in the simplest gestures.

God gave me a blessing in form of her and I failed to even appreciate this blessing and thank Him for her. I failed to give her the love she needed and completely ruined her to a point that she has no one in her life except me...the one who ruined her...savaged her relationships...and seeded her womb when for society she was a stranger...I brought chaos to her life. I did.

So what happened in the cabin was something I deserved. I deserved to be not made love to because that is how I dared to treat her before doing the worst and seeding her womb with our daughter...I wronged her.

But you know what's worst? In that cabin, I gave in to my own temptations and dared to delight over her again making me forget that I am breaking the most sacred vow of marriage which is to only love...I also did not fully make love to her, but entered an illusion of sensual pleasure.

"S-Shivaay..." Her voice catching hold of me as I made swift turn towards her home not wanting to indulge in any other conversation because I cannot.

"Anika...it's best we don't talk. I just want some time to myself," I spoke shutting soul and letting wretched demons speak on my behalf.

A soft touch brushing against my arm making me flinch feeling as if she is trying to pull me back to the exact moment when I revealed a secret that even brings me shame.

I do not know what forced me to tell her this secret. Perhaps, it was that she was giving up on love and her giving up brought fear into me that she may just give up on us. I had to give her hope and tell her that her love was real...a love that I felt and forced me to do everything to change myself for her sake and our daughter's sake.

However, I shouldn't have told her because now I know she may judge me, especially after she finds that I raised Chaaya all these years while trying to recover from my addiction. She doesn't know I have been in recovery for the sake of Chaaya because I knew I had to recover for her since she only had me...But I know that when I will bring Chaaya to Anika then Anika will lunge on me and curse me aware that I raised Chaaya during my addiction...She will not believe me that I never let my recovery come to revelation in front of Chaaya. She will not believe that when I was with our daughter I was my real self and completely sober because our daughter gave me hope and strength to change.

What am I going to do? What will happen once Anika finds out about Chaaya and everything that happened which is still a secret? The way she lost her temper remembering that night when I left her shows she hasn't fully forgotten...so once she finds the whole truth...I don't know what will happen...She will not leave me that I know, but redemption will be long that I am sure of.

Anika's Point of View

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Filth. Ugly. Deformed. That is my soul at the moment...That is me and I am ashamed to be me knowing what I have dared to do. I dared to find pleasure in him while he was roaming a drugged depth of purgatory...I wronged him by pursuing him to commit sin of plain pleasure...I shouldn't have done this. He was right we both are going to regret after having a dull session of lust in the cabin.

The worst is that I as a lover failed to explore this broken shade of his. All I have always done is curse him and berate this shade, but never dared to look through it and seek roots of his demons. He has been caged in this darkness since his innocence and he has begged to escape it, but he cannot on his own...He cannot. In this cage he is forced to be in a way that he doesn't want to be in...He is told by his past to wreck chaos...He is told by his past to indulge in deep sin...He is told by his past to run dominance...He is caged and wants someone to take him out of it...I should be that someone.

But look at me. I call him selfish, but I am likely the most selfish person who failed to even look at him once and see that he is breaking. He has wronged me, but so have I...I have also.

He probably thinks I am going to judge him...well he is wrong. I will never dare to throw filth on him...I will do everything to help him escape and no matter what I am not going to leave him ever. I will be part of this journey and I am not going to let him go. He never let go of me when I was breaking down in my own mania, so why I will do that to him?...He is the man who has my heart, so why will I leave him?

The car hitting its brakes loudly taking me out of my thoughts as I looked up finding we had reached my home...well a home that is not going to be mine soon.

We sat in silence looking at the small shower of raindrops that continued to fall with sun scattering through indicating a wedding in the heavens may be happening.

Lifting my hand up, I slowly made my way to his that laid still against his lap. His hand trembling with his eyes darkening holding a deep pondering over something that appeared to prick him.

"I...I know you told me that you want some time alone, but I want to say something to you..." I whispered trying to make him at ease that he can trust me.

His blue hues meeting mine and without a thought piercing my heart as they revealed an innocent, naiveness not seen before. His eyes showing he has seen many more vices than what he has told me so far....He needs me, but he doesn't want to accept this.

Encapturing his hand I began to gently rub it as he continued to look towards me wanting to hear more.

"I know we are still in conflict at the moment because of what happened in the cabin...but I want you to know that I know it is hard for you to share your past and thank you for even sharing a part of it with me...and...I just want to end this argument now please...I want trust and honesty, but that can only be built if you recover from wounds...so let's help you recover and build our marriage..." Biting my lip, I stopped feeling tears come to me which I attempted to hold back trying to show strength for his sake.

His gaze lowering with shame on his acts which he shouldn't because all of this is a matter of fate and my heart tells me something worse has happened that caused him to choose this path. Grabbing his hand, I pulled it up towards me forcing him to look back.

"Don't say thank you. You deserve to know more about me, but I...I am not ready yet Anika. I just am not at ease in talking about my past and it is possible I may never be able to tell you because I...just cannot...And it will take long to build trust and honesty, but I can try enough that we do not have conflict..." He took a deep breath choking on his words and not having the energy to speak more.

A smile touching my lips hearing his will to work on our marriage despite carry glasses of a demonic past. The fact he still wants to give me requests a try shows that somewhere he truly loves me to a point that he is willing to work on our bond.

Wrapping my hands around his tightly, I tugged him towards me wanting him to hear my lines knowing it may just start the root of trust between the both of us.

"I know it is tough sharing a past and I will wait for you to speak when you are ready. However, I want to tell you that I will never judge you because of your struggle in being sober. I am going to be your wife Shivaay and as your wife, I will stand besides you in each and every struggle of yours'. I already am aware you have trouble with alcohol and that is no secret, but do not worry I will ensure I am involved in all of this and that you are taken care of. You matter...and don't think I am saying this only because of the kids, but because you matter and your life matters..." Holding strength in my words, I blew them into his trembling soul that was begging to hear that it too is loved and it too is wanted.

His eyes lifting up with a spark appearing in their dullness indicating he found hope that he too is not alone. Curling his lips, he tried to hide his tears to show he is not falling, but maybe he is and I have to be there to hold on to his hand to ensure he doesn't fall.

"And...t-the t-thought of l-losing you t-takes my h-heartbeats away b-because you reside in them...I-I c-cannot imagine my l-life w-without you...a-and I h-hate what you did to me, b-but that doesn't c-change how I f-feel for you...so y-your life m-matters to me because y-you a-are my everything..." My voice continuing to shake with tears running down my cheeks feeling an empty pit running down to the graves even thinking of the thought of him slipping away from me.

"A-Anika..." He began to speak before I grabbed the back of his head pulling him into an unexpected, but chaste kiss. His lips taking a soft grasp of mine as I firmly pressed my lips against his letting him know that he the one who has my heart and no one else. Our lips slowly pacing against each other as he dipped me. Pulling me closer into his embrace, he lavished over the honey love syruped taste lingering in folds of my mouth. His wet tongue gradually introducing a juicy bitter flavor. Entwining my hand into his waves, I pressed myself against him while increasing the tempo of our lips that began to roughly run against one another.

Suddenly a loud knock erupting dialing us out of our moment. Our lips immediately escaping each other as our heads shot up with sudden shivers of fear running through both of us while our heartbeats began to skip.

A veil of shame falling with a red heat touching our cheeks realizing who had caught us in an intimate act.

There they stood...The dark figures standing in the distance with expressions of lightening shock, heated embarrassment, and a tinge of creatured anger.

There they were lined up and decked in pitiful glory...the manic Malhotras and on the other side stood fanning, fanciful cheap royal Oberois.

A small shriek escaping from me as my hands immediately clasped against my mouth. My heart beginning to beat erratically feeling trembling shyness and sheer disgrace enveloping me.

"Oh great...chalo pagal bandaro ka kandaan phir vapas aagaye," Shivaay muttered while growling towards them not once regretting his word choice. I grabbed my pallu draping it across my mouth and beginning to slip down the seat praying this was a dream.

Another knock appearing on the window next to Shivaay as my head shot up only to find pure repulsion knowing who was at the window. Their heads popping out like kangaroos as they flashed their plastic smiles while flipping their hair towards their back.

"Oh my God...are you Shivaay jiju?!" The high-pitched voice ringing loudly against my ear making me cringe before encountering the ivy colored green eyes which flashed seduction to the man next to me.

Shivaay looking back towards me appearing confused as I rolled my eyes feeling pieces of annoyance hinge themselves upon me seeing the second head pop out as well revealing her red colored hair showing vainess she carried.

"Well rotten hell Pari! He is Shivaay jiju!" Pari's deep voice clashing with Pia's high-pitched voice. A lusting smile appearing on Pari's lips as she fixed her red hair looking at him before back towards me and throwing me a glare.

And you thought I had enough enemies. No, there are more. The list never ends. Believe me I think I am cursed.

Sighing, I looked back at our families who continued to show different shades of pale, red, and green finding themselves in fury over our harmless affection. Lowering my gaze, I kept still feeling shame knowing my parents were clearly upset considering this is not a way a bride should behave.

"Well, I think Shivaay jiju and Anika have a lot of explaining to do," Pia noted with a giggle before opening the driver's door and pulling Shivaay out while he grumbled not liking how she touched him.

"Waise we are Pia and Pari, Anika's cousins and her Thayya ji's daughters." Pari holding sick lewdness in her voice while her eyes wandered on the mud streaked Shivaay standing in front of them.

My heart skipping a beat with remnants of green beads of envy falling into me seeing Pia's hand on his arm...that exact arm which graced against me moments ago when we were uniting. Clenching my hands tightly, I sat still.

"Come now, everyone has been waiting for you both for the roka ceremony," Pia spoke as Shivaay immediately snatched his arm from her hand taking a step away.

"Can I at least get my fiancé? I hope you both didn't forget your cousin," Shivaay noted with an icy voice before looking towards other family members who appeared to chatter and whisper looking towards us.

My feet trembling slightly as I fidgeted with my fingers trying to prick on them knowing I further had drowned myself in filth they already have thrown upon me. They must be thinking many vices and undraping my dignity that not only affects me, but also the ones I carry.

The door next to me opening as I felt a warm touch brushing against my hand. Lifting my gaze up, I met his eyes which showed some relief. He pulled me out gently helping me walk while I struggled in the muddy, hefty saree that was dragging me down.

"This is s-so e-embarrassing," I mumbled shrieking slightly with my hand brushing on my mouth while Shivaay forced me to walk behind him.

My eyes moving towards him as he appeared to put on a mask which he always did for others...perhaps less for me. His lips pursed tightly together as held his head high not wavering once in front of those who skew dreaded and ugly judgement on our relationship.

"Hai bhagvan...what times have come now. Brides truly have no sense of dignity left not for their parents nor for their in-laws...wah," Pinky aunty spoke turning her nose up in the air while we made our way up the steps to my home.

Shivaay growling hearing Pinky aunty's words with his hand taking a tight grasp of mine trying to hold to his temper that I could see was beginning to simmer out of him. Wrapping my hand around his, I attempted to gesture to him to keep his silence aware if we speak then more issues will likely be created.

My eyes wandering to my parents both who were fuming shades of blue and red representing level of disgraced, deformed dirt they were throwing upon my flesh that already held dusts of mud on it.

"Arre, this is normal everyone. I think everyone is overreacting. Shivaay beta and Anika are getting married today and everyone's time is different. Showing affection is natural and happens between all couples. I am sure they did not see all of us waiting to welcome them for the engagement," Thayya ji spoke letting out an awkward laugh. His liberal statement catching me off guard considering the man of closed walls he is.

Thayya ji slammed his cane against the ground trying to initiate his rule as the oldest in our family. He threw a scowling look towards my parents trying to hint them to keep quiet. Flashing a small smirk, Thayya ji looked back towards Shivaay who held a wicked smile indicating a pact these two have.

My eyes widening remembering Shivaay's words of how he is bribing Thayya ji to hide that last night Shivaay had taken me on a date...technically the whole night which even Thayya ji doesn't know and thinks I returned in the morning to only go back with Shivaay.

Oh my God. Shivaay is not going to ever change in the matters of manipulation that I know.

"Look rain may come again and it's best we go inside and discuss. It is not good we let the groom and bride continue to stand like this drenched in mud. The auspicious time for their engagement is in an hour and let's focus on that shall we?" Thayya ji spoke loudly gesturing the both of us to come inside.

Shivaay keeping his silence as he began to pull me up the steps towards the front door. I looked towards it before back to my parents remembering the night they threw me out of this very home when they found out about Shivaay and my truth. A sudden chill hitting my skin igniting goosebumps as I remembered crying against this very door begging them to take me in and today I am going to walk away from this door forever.

Never would I have thought Shivaay and I would end up like this again...never.

Taking a step inside, we made our way in seeing my home transformed with long single stranded lights collapsing against pastel pink roses vining out of blush purple drapes. Lifting my gaze up, I noticed it was all mutual family lingering with Thayya ji's children and then our families being the only guests.

A thin air of silence embracing us as we made our way in. Shivaay holding on to my hand as we leaned against the wall not wanting to spread our mucky, muddy filth on the surprisingly beautiful decorations done for the engagement.

"We thought you both went to the mandhir early morning then what happened that you both are in such a mess?" Mom asking with her eyes wandering over our bodies finding mud in places where it cannot make its way unless purposely done so...like we did in the cabin.

My cheeks berry red as I remembered what happened in the cabin and how we seemingly had directed our anger towards plain pleasure found in each other's arms...something insane in my opinion and yet this is what we always do.

"Um...my car had troubles along the way near those woods coming to your home...so I was trying to fix the car and then Anika helped me in a very nice way..." His voice emphasizing the last line as my eyes shot up seeing a small smirk playing on his lips appearing to reference the word "nice" to a double meaning of lustful delight.

"But then how did you both get in such a mess?" Pinky aunty questioned looking especially at me seeing mud clinging tightly against the corners of my waist revealing places mud was drifted to...by her own son.

Biting my lip, I tried my best to step behind Shivaay feeling mortified over how every individual's eyes were fixated on us trying to unravel the true story of how we got mud bathed.

"The car broke down as I said and then I was trying to fix it and Anika tried to help me...she worked hard on me...I mean the car of course!" He held his voice strong with his smirk widening before rolling his tongue slightly on his lips taking a remnant taste of me that lingered.

My eyes widening hearing his words and seeing that moronic expression on his face indicating he somewhere found pleasure even in our anger infested moment. Flushing red, I kept my face lowered wanting to disappear considering they just caught us kissing and now are having high doubts on our story.

"We both were working really hard for about an hour I guess and we are so tired right now...I mean we tried our best...We worked hard right Anika?" He spoke in a low tone looking over his shoulder giving a teasing smile knowing we worked hard on satisfying each other not the car of course.

My hand squeezing his tightly feeling furious over his comment while his grasp tightened in response implying he will not stop his play on words.

"Y-yes. Um...w-we w-worked hard...on the car and um...while we were doing that...we slipped on the mud and fell...Yeah that is exactly what happened," My voice barely quaking out and finding my father confused while my mother began to throw needles through her beady eyes. Pinky aunty and Priyanka clearly not buying the story as they began to throw snarky glances towards us. Daadi shook her head with disgust catching on to more of Shivaay's play on words than anyone else surprisingly.

Thayya ji letting out a loud laugh as he slammed his hand against Shivaay's arm making him slightly howl not acquainted with Thayya ji's beastly hands. "You two then should be careful with your timing or else I think you both would have missed your own wedding!" Thayya ji snarked with a laugh as both of our heads shot up to him finding that somewhere the old man was weaving a weird idea of what must have actually gone down.

"I mean in our times our timing was on point with such things... such as fixing cars, right Shivaay beta?" Thayya ji noted raising his eyebrow to Shivaay implying he had caught our lie. Shivaay's eyes shooting back to me trying to alert me that Thayya ji is a creep for his age who can catch on to such double meaning innuendo.

"I think we should all start preparing for the small roka ceremony and then the bidaai since haldi and wedding is at their new home as decided," Dad intervening to move on from this questioning session and proceed to better work.

"Yes, I think it is better we focus on finishing these rituals off and ensuring the wedding goes smoothly. Anyways, Anika and Shivaay you both can freshen up. We do have a fresh set of clothes from the bride's side of the family as part of the roka ceremony and you can wear those Shivaay," Mom's voice keeping a chill ensuring a gap is maintained between her and the both of us.

"Yes, the auspicious time for the roka and bidaai will pass. We will talk later on this matter," Dadi keeping a steely control of her voice while finding my presence nauseating to her.

"Anika come upstairs and start getting ready please. We don't have all the time to get you ready, so can you come now. There is a limit to irresponsibility," Mom scolding while turning her back to me and beginning to walk up the stairs.

Pulling my hand out of Shivaay's, I looked back towards him seeing him clenching his jaw while looking at my mother finding the tone of her voice menacing. I made my way up feeling a tinge of fear seeing my mother's reddened face and becoming aware that she was more than just upset with my behavior.

Ever since I have come back home, my family has become distant. The same love and connection found somewhere with my parents is gone completely and it feels it likely will not come back. Despite my own father loving me to a point he made Shivaay promise to keep his commitment to me, he still doesn't see me as his daughter now, but just responsibility he has to get rid of soon. On the other hand, my mother amuses herself with subtle taunts on me and sometimes the twins as well...she doesn't even know I am expecting twins and if she finds out, I know worse things may just happen.

Walking into my room, mom immediately slammed the door shut behind me as she began to slam her feet loudly against the floor. A ravaging creature appearing to erupt from her while she took deep breaths like a raging nagina.

And then it happened.

A sudden force colliding against my cheek making my feet run roughly against the floor with my hand wrapping around my womb as I collapsed on the bed. Fear running against my heart while I laid still finding myself unable to comprehend what led to this moment of anger.

My cheek burning slightly as I collapsed my hand against it trying to finger into the slap that my own mother had dared to lay on me once again. Tears running out of me as I lifted my gaze slowly looking towards her finding her continuing to fume with her body shaking violently while she attempted to hold on to tempers reeling through her.

"H-how can you j-just do this to me? I...I am your daughter...and I am pregnant with your grandchildren...yet you dare to do such to me?" My voice shaking while I attempted to gather strength and question her as a mother myself...How dare she hurt me when I am holding two children in my womb? Who is she to do such?

She took a step forward wanting to say more, but holding on to her rage knowing she may get caught for what she has done. "Well, says the woman who has not returned home all night. Your Thayya ji is lying that you returned home last night and left early morning again with Shivaay. I know it because I have been awake all night and you never came home..." She revealed the bane truth making me silent.

Beads of mortification falling on me knowing I was caught. Knots of confusion running in my mind not knowing what lie to grasp while seeing her dark meddling eyes that held the truth before which I could not speak anything.

"I spit on girls like you! I do....I c-cannot b-believe my own daughter will be like this...You were out the whole night with a man who is not yet your husband. Without any shame, you not once tried to even connect with us and let us know where you are. You went out all night likely crossing your boundaries and forsaking our values once again perhaps? Aren't I correct?" She spat lunging towards me wanting to let her anger slip, but trying to keep a distance.

Tears running down my cheeks hearing her slandering words finding sin in them forcing me to realize that maybe I have sinned last night, even though, my heart is telling me I have not. Shivaay is my soulmate that I know and what is wrong in loving your soulmate?...Being soulmates is the purest bond that even marriage solely cannot accomplish between two beings.

She let out a small laugh shaking her head and walking to my closet taking out my dress for the roka and haldi.

"But then what can I expect from a woman who is already pregnant before marriage that too by her own ex-husband...A woman who was engaged to another man, but dared to cross her limits and pursue a relationship with her ex-husband to a point she conceived. There is no reason in letting my anger loose on you because you are hopeless...You already have drowned and dumped our honor to the graves and here you sit with a child...I am thanking my blessings that you are leaving our home forever and not coming back to ruin its sacredness. You are a filth that I do not want in my home anymore. Do you understand?" Her voice starked with venomous anger that began to run down my disgraced being.

I kept still for the sake of my children not wanting to converse with my mother aware she will curse these two and that is what I do not want. Perhaps, I did sin in the eyes of my parents, but it would be a lie to say that this is a sin. These are my children and they were made out of love...my love for Shivaay that still I somewhere carry.

Mom looking at me up and down observing the mud on my skin. "You may rub this dirt off of your flesh now, but what about the filth you carry on your honor? A filth that may just harm your child...You know what people will call your child once they find out he or she was conceived out of wedlock?! People will spit on your child and they will call him many names including you too!"

"Stop! Please!" My scream erupting as I got up ready to take her on. My heart beginning to beat loudly as I felt the beats drop to the twins who recoiled inwards not wanting to hear more evil against them.

"I will a-always love you because you are my m-mother d-despite w-what you say or what you do to me b-because at t-the end of the d-day you b-brought me to l-life...b-but I n-never w-will forgive you for what you have said about my c-child. How dare you?! How dare you say a word against my child? Who are you to say such?...I cannot b-believe being a m-mother you s-said this a-about another innocent life...I c-cannot, but t-then I s-shouldn't b-be surprised right? I mean y-you haven't even spared y-your o-only d-daughter in speaking s-such l-low level of o-obscene language, so h-how c-can I expect that y-you will spare m-my child...? How?" My voice shaking as I wiped my tears away, but trying to hold grit for my children as I am their protector and their voice. People can say anything to me, but not my children. Never. I will never let anyone speak against my heirs.

My mother loathing the presence of the children inside of me that made themselves known through the small bulging belly I held where her eyes stood fixated.

"My daughter was dead for me the day she crossed her boundary and slashed the values I had passed down to her. She died that day for me when I saw her in arms of that man. You, your children, and your husband are no one to me now. No one. I am only standing here and giving you away because for me this is not your wedding, but your funeral. Tonight, when your father and I will give you away...It will be like I am burying a coffin of my values and honor I gave you and for me you will be gone forever once that coffin is buried. Never once will I even dare to hold a bond of a mother and daughter to you...You will be a stranger to me for which I will have to do rituals and fulfill duties, but that is it. You are never coming back to my home...ever..." Her words peeling the skin of my love for her forcing it to see that all my life the woman I loved, perhaps, never loved me back...She loved to endow me as a piece of ornament in her home which displayed her honor and raised her status in society, but she never saw me as her blood...never.

"Now get ready. I want this engagement and bidaai to happen as soon as possible because I cannot bear to see you here for another second..." She spoke her last lines of hate walking out the door and finding relief that she had gotten away from stench that lurked out of my womb.

My body dropping down on to the bed finding a piece of my heart dropping where love for my parents was kept. A stitched part of my soul walking away not wanting to even keep pieces of their souls they gave to me when I took life.

My own parents will never welcome me back to this home. This home in which I have loved my parents despite the shackles they placed on my feet. I have done everything for my parents and I know I wronged them by leaving them and getting married, but for once I had thought of myself before them...but they never saw that. They do not see how I have always tried to fulfil my role as their daughter...

I clasped my hands against my tear wrentched mouth wanting to supress my hiccups aware the twins could feel every part of me and become aware that their mother is once again finding herself alone.

My own parents do not want me. They do not love me....No one loves me. No one. I don't know what wrong have I done that no one loves me...No one except...perhaps Shivaay. Perhaps he loves me...I can feel his love and I can see it in his eyes, but even he is not fully accepting of this love. He doesn't want to change...and to know he may never change makes me feel as if I will again be only stepping on thorns down this path of love once again.

Many say I am weak and that I perhaps am shallow because I fail to realize what Shivaay has done to me. I do realize it and I do see it and I try really hard to convince myself to be upset with him, but then how can I convince my soul that I do not love him or that he doesn't hold a special place in my heart? He does. He always will. He is my love...He is the only one who has made me feel loved...

I had decided to walk away from him and my family with the twins in that hotel room. I had planned that I would move away and start my own life with just the twins, but then...everything changed. Fate changed and I somehow got bonded with Shivaay again...And this is my choice.

People may question why I made this choice to marry him again...I made it because my heart is telling me Shivaay left me for a bigger reason and he has more secrets than I know of. I can see it in his eyes that he never wanted to leave me and I saw it that day in the courthouse when we were about to get divorced...I saw it that day. However, beyond this, I do not want my children to suffer the same life I did. Anyone can see my parents perhaps did fail to love me and give me the home I needed...I never felt loved here and I do not want my children to be deprived of a father. Shivaay can give them protection, safety, a secure future, and most of all love...He and I are on the same page regarding our children and that's what matters. I could've walked away and kept the twins a secret, but I know I would've deprived them of happiness...a name. People would have questioned their identity...and I would not have tolerated that. Ever.

Shivaay's Point of View

I stood still against the wall of the living room while Anika's father continued to rummage through a basket of gifts trying to find an extra portion of clothes I could wear to replace my mud soaken ones. My eyes wandering up the stairs trying to catch sight of Anika, but failing to of course considering she likely is getting ready.

It's odd, but even a second away from her now feels as if it has been forever. Her presence...her shy smile...her loud giggles...and a mix of maturity with childishness is like a drug that once one consumes it does not want to ever let go of...And this Shivaay doesn't want to let go of her and likely never will.

One more hour of this and then Anika will forever go with me to our home where we will begin our new journey and new life together. Sounds cliché I know, but somehow a heart that has fallen in love for the first time, indulges in southern, sweet clichés.

A soft smile touching my lips as I remembered the teasing I had indulged in moments ago regarding the lie of how we both had gotten wrenched with mud...I can catch many are not believing our lie, but I do not give a damn. Now this is only about Anika and I. No one else, but the both of us. Anika and our children are my priority and rest come later if at all.

"By the way, it would have been nice if the engagement was done outside," Ma remarking while wiping the cup of chai with her dupatta and sipping it as if she was drinking vomit.

Placing her leg over the other, she leaned back on the sofa while looking at Anika's Thayee ji eye to eye despising her presence.

"I have a wonderful doctor, his name is Dr. Akhtar and you will like this doctor," Thayee ji replied as I raised my eyebrow looking at the woman who appeared to level herself on the same ground in arguing with the other in front.

Ma looking at her curiously not catching on to her. "Why do I need to see a doctor?"

"Because you need help in the eyes and in the mind! It is raining outside darling, can you not see it?!" Thayee ji exclaimed loudly as my smirked widened hearing the insult of that wicked woman who claims to be my mother.

Ma gasping hearing the insult while I let out a laugh finding pleasure seeing her insult considering she deserved it after the words she dared to speak against Anika. So what, we both were caught kissing? I mean to be honest everyone does it and this woman went after Anika. It is only for Anika's sake, I kept quiet since she did not want the situation to get out of hand or else I would have given her a good piece of my mind.

"It is only sprinkling! You could have sent a nice outdoor tent and done the engagement there, but no you all wanted to save money! And now, you dare to insult me! I am the groom's mother!" Ma beginning to rant loudly while Papa appeared to jump in trying to hold her back as she attempted to lunge towards Thayee ji.

"So?! Does that mean we should worship you if you are the groom's mother? Do you think you are Queen of England or Jhansi ki Rani? Well, madam you are nothing except this fake plastic botox of yours and the pound of make-up you wear looking like a bhootni! Now don't taunt us alright? Shivaay beta himself requested simplicity!" Thayyee ji immediately looking towards me trying to get an answer from me as I felt Ma and Papa throwing needle pins towards me not liking my decision.

Widening my smirk, I crossed my arms and looked at them all before beginning to whistle not wanting to say a word and liking the argument and insult Ma was facing. I shouldn't be finding a smile in Ma's insult, but this woman does not even deserve to be called a mother. She deserves worse for what she has done to me, but that is another story for another day.

"That is true, Shivaay beta did request for simplicity in the roka and the bidaai from our side. He wants the celebrations to be more opulent at his home," Anika's father spoke trying to lighten the situation while Ma held her ground.

"Simplicity does not mean this level of simplicity. I mean the decorations are so bland and then no proper music and what kind of catering has been done? I do not like this one bit! What class is this?! I knew it we made a big mistake accepting a girl from your family for our son!" Ma letting her voice rumble with complaints now bubbling out of her.

Dragging my hands against the wall, I attempted to hold on to last bits of patience, but failing hearing her choice of words that she was beginning to direct towards Anika's family, especially Anika.

"Don't you dare say anything about Anika! Understood? Shut up will you! Just shut up or I am seriously going to lose it!" My voice hitting loud beats with my hand slamming hard against the wall ready to let the raging creature out of me.

"Shivaay! Don't you dare talk to our mother like this!" That familiar voice ringing behind me as I immediately turned on my feet finding a long-gone figure appearing in my sight. There he stood the man who dared to wrong me...my own brother.

Chewing on my lip, my wicked grin widened seeing his eyes lit in green and orange hues of rivalry he shared with me. He does not know what is going to happen to him tonight and I revel in it knowing what I am going to do to him tonight...He dared to ruin me...Well I will ruin him first.

"Really? You are going to teach me how to talk to my mother. You are going to teach me the meaning of relationships...You?" A chuckle escaping from me as I looked into his eyes reading his horrid fiend that lurked behind them.

Om taking a step towards me finding a deeper meaning in my words while I stood my ground looking into his hallow being where he forgot his own conscious and sold himself to the devil. But, how does he know that I have already been in the realms of darkness before him?

"Yes, I will teach you because I am her son and I will not a tolerate a word against my mother. I will stand up for her and support her no matter what. I am not like you who does not give a damn about any relationship..." He spat running his ire on to my face wanting to tempt me to give into my rage which I was holding on to for the sake of letting these rituals to pass on considering Anika deserves at least this much.

"I don't give a damn? Well you better watch those words considering what you have done..." I hissed clenching my jaw trying to hold back his malefic secret of what he had dared to do to me. If I had it in me, I would bring his reckoning right now, but the best way to hurt him is in front of the mass public. He deserves that.

He held a perverse smile as Gauri appeared behind him trying to pull him away from me while he planted his paws into the ground.

"Well Shivaay we all know what you are, who you are, and what you have done and continue to do...You have always been selfish and consumed with your own needs and desires. Right now, you are marrying Anika to protect your reputation considering you impregnated a woman out of wedlock. But, you know this is not the first time you have been selfish. I hope you remember what you did twenty years ago...that was selfish. Despite everyone warning you to not say a word and keep your silence...you dared to-"

"Om!" My hand raising right up in the air ready to run chords down his cheek as Gauri pushed him back becoming a barrier between us making me stop in an instant.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Tears holding into my eyes with screams beginning to run into my ears bringing me back to the age of fifteen. That night shading its claws taking me into its palm and putting me on its fate lines which forced me to be my worst that day. My body beginning to tremble with doses of liquid anger sublimed with pills of fear merging into my blood making my mind blur as my breaths collapsed.

Hold on Shivaay. Do not break in front of any of them...Do not trust them. Do not falter to them. These people want your fall and they want you to go to the ruins, but don't you dare. You have to hold on for Anika and the kids...You have to.

"Shivaay beta, are you okay?" Daadi walking into the living room taking a hold of my arm and looking towards my fall that was once again beginning to happen.

It's happening. Once again. It's been months since I have felt this way and yet it is all coming back again. That creature monster is running on my soul now and dancing trying to remind it of how revolting and repugnant it is. The curling screams...my screams erupting into my ears from my innocence with rummaging of thunder from that night reminding me of how I had become selfish...selfish for my own sake...

"Om don't you dare say another word! Do you hear me?!" Papa's voice erupting pacing towards Om and immediately dragging him out of the house beginning to whisper his demands to him while Om kept his eyes back at me finding himself amused by my state knowing he had hit the nail in the coffin.

My heart beginning to beat loudly as I slightly stumbled trying to grasp on to life, but failing to do such with many thoughts beginning to spin in my mind ready to let loose and unravel my soul.

Their screams and my screams ringing loudly with laughter erupting in my ears reminding me of that person...that being from that night.

Tears letting loose as I collapsed against the wall trying to breathe while everyone's voices began to reach a blur. I began to feel a set of cravings setting within me with the taste of that bitter poison...the pills...the liquids... swiveling against my tongue. Digging my nails into my palms, I tried to punish myself even thinking of that poison, but failing as I continued to let my breaths tumble and collapse before they began to become shallow.

"Shivaay bhai! Are you okay?!" Gauri calling out to me while Priyanka stood besides her finding herself reaching a standstill.

"Priyanka do something! Look what is happening to Shivaay bhai!" Gauri exclaiming trying to pull her while Priyanka kept her silence not once moving finding herself revulsed by my presence knowing I am a filth from that past.

"Shivaay! Here drink some water! We all won't say anything okay?" Ma taking a hold of my cheeks trying to force me to drink from the glass while I continued to shake moving back and forth feeling reality slipping away from me as I began to step through the barricades of that wretched state of panic I thought I had uncloaked myself from, but indeed I hadn't.

"This is all of your fault! Could you all not keep any peace?" Daadi spoke with a grudge to everyone as she attempted to touch me while I backed away finding her touch and anyone's touch revolting that may lead to a vomit of wounds on my flesh.

"Priyanka do something!" Ma calling out to Priyanka while she rolled her eyes and shook her head looking at me.

"What am I supposed to do? Huh? Just let him breathe and he will be fine...Give him some space and that's all," Priyanka spoke taking a step away while I lifted my gaze seeing her blocking herself away from me not wanting to associate with my past because she and everyone else are aware of that sublimed, hideous mutant which has embraced me tightly not wanting to let go.

"I think we should bring him upstairs and give him space to rest," Anika's father speaking gently gesturing me towards the stairs as I attempted to lift myself out of the clout of weakness that was falling on to me from that luscious demon running its fingers through my soul.

"It's better we take him to Anika considering she will know what to do," Anika's Thayya ji speaking as I tried to take my breaths while listening to his words remembering Anika and realizing that she may somewhere fall seeing me like this in this state. She herself is struggling from this issue and is pregnant...she will get more stressed because of my state.

"I...am...fine..." I spoke trying to breathe as Ma forced me up making me shiver not wanting to feel her touch.

"No, maybe we should take him to Anika," Ma appearing to reluctantly agree with the idea while she threw a look to Priyanka.

Taking my arm, Thayya ji forced me up the stairs while I continued to tremble not wanting to go to her and reveal this side that she had unknowingly seen last night as well. This side of me that is a reflection of her own wounds...a state of panic that she too faces when she feels the ground beneath her is about to crack and take her in.

Stealing my arm from Thayya ji, I made my way up feeling others behind me while I attempted to hold myself above the rumbling grounds that were beginning to consume me and push me down. Screams continuing to echo through me torturing me every second and bringing me back to that moment when I was just an age of fifteen.

"Anika! Anika!" Her father calling her out loudly as we made our way into her room. My gaze lifting smelling her jasmine scent that illuminated from the room.

Her mere presence enveloping around me as I began to feel my breaths become a bit deeper rather than the shallow ones that continued to beat themselves on the surface. Looking up from my blurry vision, I encountered her sight as she immediately let go of her dupatta before looking towards me finding herself lost on the darkness she has suddenly caught hold of.

"S-Shivaay! What's wrong?!" She quickly began to pace towards me before grabbing a hold of my arms and looking into my eyes.

Her warm touching wrapping around my heart that began to find its beats running a slower motion as she took a hold of me snatching me from my past and wrapping her arm around me. Blurs running across my vision while seeing her cherry lips that began to sing my name with her brown hues carried a rippling love.

Her touch wanted for my cleansing. Her lips needed to sing me to life. Her brown hues needed for solace.

What will happen once she hears my truth? My actual truth that began years before when I was fifteen and perhaps years before that. What will happen once she knows who I am and what I was? She only has seen the piece of glass that shattered from my wounds...The piece of glass only revealed my addictions, but it has not shown her that these addictions were borne from that night...She does not know.

Anika's Point of View

Wrapping my palms around his cheeks, I attempted to pull him out of his panic while he continued to breathe, but failed finding himself suffocating in a sleuth of monstrous laughter that taunted him and was not allowing him to come out of an illusion of anxiety he had entered.

"What happened? What triggered this?" I questioned to the others while they kept silence not wanting to speak knowing somewhere they might have been the triggers for this panic attack. Shaking my head, I took a deep breath as I looked at Shivaay who held tears in his eyes ready to let go of them, but finding himself unable to trust the others aware he was not in a safe space amongst them.

"Anika doing something!" Pinky aunty calling after me as I immediately wrapped my arm around Shivaay who took an immediate grasp of my waist pulling me closer finding trust in me.

Our eyes catching one another as I saw his soul screaming for help wanting the escape that he somewhere believed I could give to him. His hand pulling me closer against his chest while continuing to look at me finding himself focusing on my features as a way to pull himself out of his state.

"Y-yes, do something beta," Daadi speaking as I broke out of my thoughts before guiding Shivaay to my bed and helping him sit down.

"Here, let me get him water," I spoke reaching out for the glass as Pinky aunty immediately handed it to me. Taking his face, I gestured the glass towards him while he continued to tremble.

"Shivaay...here drink some water. I am here for you okay?...Anika is here for you," I repeated to him as he leaned on to the glass and began to take sips of the water slowly before downing it down.

His arms immediately taking holding of me and wrapping them around me taking me aback as I looked towards our families who appeared quite in the conundrum of whether they should allow us to hold each other in such manner or not considering the gap in our bond that still exists until marriage.

"G-get....out!....Get out...all of you!" Shivaay's voice thundering between the shakes and trembles that he continued to hold while tightening his grasp around me pulling me closer into a tight embrace.

"W-what are you saying beta?" Pinky aunty speaking one more time while I caught sight of my mother finding herself infuriating over how I was hurting their honor once again by being in the arms of this man.

Biting my lip, I looked away towards Shivaay as he placed his hand on my neck looking into my eyes once again revealing his tears that were on the verge of falling. My heartbeat lightly beating against my bosom seeing himself on the edge of destruction. He needs me...I know he does...and I am not going to leave now. From this day forward, he is my one and only and I cannot just abandon him.

"Y-you s-stay...p-please..." He whispered barely holding on the cliff of reality wanting to brush into the illusion, but holding perhaps for my sake.

"Y-you all j-just l-leave!...Go! I-I...d-do n-not want to see any of you! Go!" He continued to scream at them as Pinky aunty held her head in her hand finding herself entering a state of complete mortification.

"If they want a moment alone then alright...Shivaay wants to be with Anika then let's keep it be since he finds ease in her only..." Thayya ji spoke as Dad shook his head looking at the both of us figuring that Shivaay found a piece of realness in only me.

"Here are your clothes Shivaay beta. Do freshen up once you feel better and I am sure Anika will get him well," My father spoke looking at me for once with belief that I could handle him.

"B-but...we should be here-" Pinky aunty began as Daadi grabbed her arm.

"Let's go and wait downstairs. I am sure if Shivaay finds himself well with Anika then let that be. We have to get this wedding done and it cannot happen if Shivaay is like such..." She whispered making a bitter taste erupt in my mouth hearing Daadi's words that held some concern for her grandson, but mainly was holding her worries about how the wedding would proceed.

"O-out...just leave..." He spoke becoming aware that their intentions that did not concern him at all.

Everyone began to leave as my mother looked back towards me finding us unsightly and weaving many ill thoughts about the both of us while I sat still holding on to Shivaay not once lowering my gaze.

"I am his wife and he needs me," I spoke to her letting her know that she was in the wrong and I was in the right in fulfilling my duty as a wife. My mother shaking her head and stepping out the door as Dad closed the door understanding that Shivaay needed me the most in this time.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Shivaay laying his lips against my bosom while I wrapped my arms around him pulling him closer and holding him wanting to make him feel that I can be trusted. His cool tears collapsing on to my heart making me flinch and feel the pieces of his wound escaping from his flesh in form of tears. Laying my quivering lips against his forehead, I began to lay tender kisses on it as I curled my legs up.

I cannot believe he suffers from anxiety attacks. It is evident now that last night he had his anxiety attack and right now he is having one again. No wonder he has always understood me so well when I have entered into these states many times...but why is it he never told me this? How long must he have been suffering from this and what was wrong with me?

A pit forming within me becoming aware that somewhere I did fail as wife...I have always blamed him for his faltering as a husband, but what about me? There is a side of Shivaay that I do not know at all and now it is beginning to unveil itself...I have failed and I have to admit that I failed to not only realize, but pull out the thorns that has pricked Shivaay for ages.

"Shivaay, I am right here for you. You are in a safe space...I promise..." I whispered to him while he sat still trying to breathe as he found his existence twisting in tight knots.

We sat still as I held him close just like he always held me when I was on the verge of reaching my mania. Taking his fingers, I laid a soft kiss on them finding them tremble as I met his gaze finding his tears beginning to dry. Taking a hold of his neck, I pulled him closer seeing his gaze lowered feeling low of himself about how everyone has seen this side of his that he never has wanted to reveal to anyone.

"I-I know we both are...in conflict right now over how we should run our marriage in terms of rules, but I can say for one thing that I am here for you and will always be here for you...and t-thank you for even letting me stay here with you and perhaps...even trusting me to allow me to be here and hold you..." I spoke feeling tears running down me as I saw his gaze lower finding his strong image tainted by portraying this shade of his that he has always succeeded in hiding.

Sighing, I placed my lips gently against his cheek as I began to lay slow, lengthy kisses against his heated flesh letting my tongue run down his dried tears before molding my lips leaving a ravenous, moist kiss. My kisses gently increasing their pace as I felt his hands wrap into the thin cloth of my sharara around my waist before pulling me on to his lap. His hand entwining into my damp hair as he began to lay frail kisses on my shoulder before pulling me into an embrace.

Placing my lips against his neck I merged them against his skin and began to brush him with light kisses feeling him shiver as his grip tightened on my waist finding hope and an escape in my presence.

"There is nothing to be ashamed about in front of me. You should know that I know the most about how it feels to be in this state of panic...a-and you should have t-told me b-before...hm?...You should of told me right...At least have faith on this point Shivaay..."

I whispered giving him a soft smile while he took a deep breath as he looked towards me somewhere weaving trust with my heart.

His breaths appearing to return to a normal rhythm with his tears completely leaving him. He kept his silence as he took a sight of my lips that held its own tears from fear of what was happening to him.

Running his fingers through my hair, he placed them to the side before beginning to lean in making goosebumps run down my neck. His hands dropping down the nape of my neck as he began to close the gap between our lips letting heat run against them. Soon, his lips took hold of mine gently as I wrapped my hands around his neck. My lips pressing against his firmly while we slowed the kiss and teased our burning flavors from my sweetness to his bitterness that merged together. His mouth opening slightly with our tongues merging and tasting each other's wounds daring to touch them and heal them.

Brushing my fingers against his hair, I took a grasp of them before looking into his eyes as I slightly smiled seeing his tears now long gone with him reaching a level of stability. "Do you want to take a shower and get changed? Only if you feel like you can...I am not pushing you...I just thought taking a shower may help you." Posing the question, I waited while he pondered over my thought before shaking his head.

"I-I...made your suit dirty with my mud," He spoke looking at how my pink sharara had soaked remnants of his muddy flesh, running down to the heavy embroderied small flowers, before

merging with my own skin. My smile widening as I lifted myself up taking a hold of his hand and pulling him up knowing he wanted to take a shower.

"Anika wants to be colored in all of your shades from love to anger to dirt that represents an ache of your wounds...I know we both are at conflict right now, but this will pass just like others have passed before between us. But, what I can say is that I will always want to be colored in your shade because your mine and I am yours'..." Saying my words I brushed my lips against his cheek leaving a soft kiss before wrapping my hands into his and looking into his eyes while he stood in silence finding my words drowning him.

"I...I don't know what I did to deserve you and this is a classic cliché, but I am letting my heart speak right now...I kept you with me because I know you will never misuse my weakness and t-take advantage of l-like o-others may...and t-that is why I love you because y-you a-are different than others who a-are p-part of my life..." He began to fumble on his lines as I caressed his hand before kissing the corner of neck tenderly right on his beating heart.

My cheeks turning red as I shyly smiled looking towards him. "I know when you are speaking from your heart and...I promise to always appreciate each and every part of you. Having anxiety attacks is not a weakness Shivaay...We struggle through it, but it is not a weakness...instead this struggle strengthens our will to survive and move on which you have done extremely well..."

Shivaay holding a smile as he heard my words with a new vision dropping on to him making him realize that sindeed this struggle is not a flaw or a weakness, but one that is helping us build resilience. Leaning forward, he laid a pious kiss on my temple while I grabbed his hand and took his clothes leading to my bathroom.

"You want any help?" I questioned seeing his kurta stuck tightly with mud against his chest as I noticed a playful smile touching his lips a stark contrast to how he was seconds ago.

"Sure, what do you want to help me with?" His voice low, husky making me blush pink as I felt heat rushing up to my cheeks understanding the seduction he was implicating.

My hand taking a firm hold of his kurta as I let my palm slip underneath the muscles of waist feeling them flex on the light brush of my palm. "You w-want me to help you?" I tilted my head in innocence as he licked his lips shamelessly while looking at me up and down.

"Yes, I do need help," He replied whittingly making me smirk as I graced the kurta up his arm letting the mud slide through his skin. The kurta falling on the ground letting my fingers run against his waist igniting a shiver from him.

"Here, let' see what I can do," I whispered grabbing his hand and leading him to the shower. His eyes widening quite stunned by my gesture while I giggled as I took a step in and began to turn on the faucets.

The steaming water rushing down on him as he trembled with the mud skimming down his sleek porcelain skin that carried unseen bruises underneath it. My heart skipping a beat finding many temptations in the flavors I found on his skin as my eyes ran down the love bites I had left on him.

His eyes meeting mine as he leaned against the shower looking towards me finding an allure as he took in the subtle features he had let his lips brush against from my lips to my heart and down to my flower. My gaze lowering feeling a veil of demure as I felt a warm touch enveloping around my hand.

"I think I need more help," His lines trimming the corners of seduction finding himself letting go of his state of panic slowly while he kept his eyes upon me.

A playful smile touching my lips as I shook my head and took a step further away out next to the sink while he looked at me with a pleading smile wanting me to join.

"Well, I asked for this same help last night in the bathtub and I never got it. Too bad right?" I sneered remembering how he had picked me out of the bathtub denying me of my right.

His eyebrows furrowing as he threw me a glare finding himself on the verge of losing it. My cheeks turning red seeing his eyes wandering to different places on me finding himself enticed by the vulptous curves hidden delicately underneath the overbearing sharara.

"Baby don't do this...You are killing me right now," He spoke huskily as my eyes widened hearing his surprising statement making me giggle before I walked to the cabinet and got a towel out for him.

"Okay I don't look that impressive to kill you Mr. Oberoi. Stop trying to bluff please." My eyes falling down on my plain sharara that subtly collided with the tones of my skin ready to drab me out.

His steaming hand grabbing a hold of mine instantly pulling me towards him making me gasp. My eyes moving back towards the open door of the bathroom realizing someone may just walk on the both of us like this.

My heart beginning to beat at an increasingly higher speed with fear hiking up beginning to remember how spooked they were just seeing our kiss in the car.

"Let go! Someone might come you idiot!" I began to hit his arm trying to wrangle my hand out of his grip. My smile widening feeling quite amused by how he had changed his shade feeling at ease that he was better.

"Anika don't be like this come on! Will it not be exciting to do this while everyone is downstairs? It will be fun and thrilling believe me...You and I both will enjoy it more like this in fear that will feed pleasure...pleasure you and I both crave." His voice luring me in as I tried to slip my hand away though finding extremely attracted to the idea of being insane. I want to do this, but then I am scared of what everyone will think of the both of us if they find out.

"W-we just did it an hour ago! How are you craving for more now? Are you crazy?!" I exclaimed feeling myself running dark red on my body while Shivaay let out a small chuckle leaning against the shower door while continuing to hold my hand.

"No we both are craving it at the moment. You and I both. I see it in your eyes...The way you are looking at me. The way you are licking your dried lips which want my taste. You are on fire with many desires. You want this...you want to enter this shower and do many things just like before...so let's do something exciting..." He let his voice enter a trail of whispers wanting to keep the conversation only between us not even allowing the walls to hear the web of exotic dreams we both were weaving.

Letting my eyes go, I looked at him finding many places to claim him which I may not have touched the last time. The light dimples of his waist...the edges muscles of his abdomen...and then that sweetspot right next to his Adam's apple...Damn it. Stop. This is wrong.

Taking a deep breath, I looked the other way not wanting a sight of him because seeing him for another second would pull me down into his arms where I want to be. "Just shame on you. This is your in laws house and here you are trying to seduce their daughter! I mean come on what are you doing?!"

Running my hand out of his I attempted to escape while he continued to laugh before tightening his grasp wanting to hold me back. "Well I am not doing anything right now, but I do want to work on you..." He continued reminding me of the insensitive joke he made in a form of a lie downstairs in front of our families.

"Yeah what was that downstairs genius? You were blatantly teasing me in front of everyone and everyone was kind of catching on that something dirty went down between the both of us," I scolded finding anger creep up on his sick move not finding it amusing one bit.

"Well you did work hard on me...and now I will work hard on you. I mean I have to win this seduction challenge. I already am on the process of booking our jet so we can fly out tonight for our honeymoon after the reception," Shivaay chimed as I immediately looked towards him feeling quite caught off guard from his statement while he threw me a playful smile.

"W-what? So right now, you are trying to seduce me, so you can win that challenge! Ah! You are going to go down...I will win. I have too!" The inner daredevil within me speaking and staking its ground in the playing field while Shivaay continued to laugh completely thrilled by the equal level of competition he was facing.

His gaze taking hold of me as it held a web he was scheming around me. "Well, I promise I will bring you in the shower with me today...I will win the challenge Anika...That I know," He spoke with an air of confidence and complete belief that he is will claim victory.

My heartbeats pumping loudly against my ears while I felt a tinge of anger over being challenged, but elated with the mystery of how he was going to seduce me...How he was going to admire me and then slowly lead me into a path of love.

His smile reaching his eyes as they appeared to let go of their darkness finding him coming out of it and reaching a hint of light just like before. His demons letting go once again with his true self making a claim of him in an instant. Leaning closer, I pulled him towards me allowing my hands merge into the steaming water that was falling on him and cleansing his creatures unveiling his better being.

Taking a hold of his neck, I pulled him closer finding my lips quivering while forming an attraction for his that were dewed with water. Letting the heat simmer through, I leaned in closer before pressing my lips daringly against his. His arm wrapping around me pulling me into his heart as I let the water rain upon me lightly while deepening this kiss. Our lips opening with a rhythm as we began to lunge on each other's folds and fervently taking a hit of ecstasy formed from the love in our hearts. Running my hand down his heart, I drummed my fingers against it before letting go of his lips and looking into his eyes.

"I love it when you smile like this. I love to see you in complete happiness. I love it when you are taking a taste of life for once. We all have our struggles Shivaay and we have to embrace these struggles just like you have. It takes a lot for one to even ask for help and the way you have taken this path of recovery from addiction makes me so proud. I am proud to have you as my husband and as the father of my children because believe me very few men ever are this strong as you to even dare to take this path. You are a brave man and a strong man that I know. I know you have done everything to hide this side of yours' and I get it...I-It is tough to admit such struggles one has a-and even for me it is tough to admit that I have anxiety disorder. But, considering we both are facing the same issue, would it not be better if we both support each other in this? You have always supported me in this issue and I want to support you. I am here to listen to you...to hold you...to even speak when you want to hear...I am here to be part of each and every struggle that you will face, so make me part of this..." My voice hitting low notes as I tried to slowly take him into my heart where he can find security and trust, but I failed.

Brushing his fingers against my lips, his arm let go of me as he began to close off. His smile vanishing with his eyes beginning to hit cold beats of loss wanting to recoil back into veils of secrecy not taking me in with him.

"Can we just...keep silence and not talk about this? I mean...can we just focus on our engagement?" He spoke pulling himself back to complete existence and out of the grasps of an anxious demon, but still not willing to remove the demon completely.

Confusion entering my mind hearing his words not able to point why he was not willing to allow me to look into his reflection where the cause of his seclusion laid. "Shivaay...silence is not the solution. I do not want you to suffocate yourself in this-"

"Anika just leave." He let his coldness breeze by against my heart indicating that it was not welcomed in his realm. Tying the locks to his wounded soul, he let go of me while I took a step away finding his eyes curtaining a black venom that was poisoning him slowly.

"S-Shivaay d-don't do this..." My hand reaching out to him while he held his hand letting me know I shall not even dare to touch his wound as if touching it would be a crime itself.

He took a deep breath looking away as if to hide an ill part of him that was beginning to break the surface of his soul. "I don't want to talk about it. I want to focus on our future and not continue to dwell on piece of a past. So, just leave."

How can I just leave? I can see that he is pondering over bits and pieces of his past even in this moment. His past is not letting go of him. He has to have a past that is making him take a sip of addiction and a smoke of panic.

Gathering my voice, I stood my ground continuing to look at him while he stood under the steam taking in his cleansing and forcing himself to remove the filth off of him.

"Shivaay...we have to learn from the past to grow and move on-"

His hands slamming loudly against the wall hitting it with full force as he immediately shot his head back towards me with his eyes running red. Holding a standstill, I grabbed on to the wall behind me sensing I had hit a sharp, tainted evil memory that was forcing him to embrace its ills seen in his eyes that held a dancing rage.

"Anika just leave! Get out! Out!" His voice echoing loudly making me tremble as my feet began to shake while I slowly began to walk up seeing him beginning to take deep breaths trying to push his rage down feeling the steam of the hot water burn on his invisible injuries from a run down past.

I understand I am wrong. I shouldn't be crossing this barrier that he has built between the both of us...a barrier that if I dare to cross will bring a savaged chaos because somewhere behind that barrier exists a part of him that he is veiling with this mask of rage.

But I am his wife. From now on, I am his soulmate and I feel it is my duty to be here for him and to support him and love him. I am trying to love him, but I know while I do that the least I can do is to support him and make him feel he is worthy of being called human just like others. But he's not letting me and I am scared...that if he continues to suffocate, he may just become a darker and more viceful version of himself than what he is right now.

Tears holding on to my eyes as I hiccupped trying to take a breath feeling haunted by the thought of losing him completely to his perverse apparitions. My hiccups catching his ears as he slowly looked back seeing my tears that were lavishing my cheeks. With trembling hands, I wiped them away seeing his eyes swivel in disgust over how he held his voice against me.

"Anika...I just..."

"I-It's f-fine. I-I crossed my limits and I k-know that. I-I w-was just t-trying to l-let you know that y-you are not alone and that I will a-always be here for you. Anyways, w-we should just g-get ready for the engagement...um...I am going to leave..." Wiping more tears from my quivering lips, shut the door behind me not wanting to look back and worsen the moment aware I had angered him by daring to cross the barrier.

Shivaay's Point of View

What have I done? How could I do this to her considering she is the only one who dared to hold me in this moment of near death...as it felt to me. No one has ever held me the way she held me and brought me quickly out of my illusion and back to existence. Not being revlused once, she laid her love on ugly wounds...and look at me. I threw her away just like I always did.

Running my hands against the glass shower door, I let the water continue to drench me while I attempted to drown the screams away that continued to rush through the hallow darkness which has continued to embrace me all these years not willing to let go.

Anika's tears continuing to haunt my vision merging with screams from twenty years ago when I had lost myself completely and dared to sin. The screams were mine not anyone else's, but mine....however I was the one who sinned that night.

The heat of the steam beginning to suffocate me and rumble into the bruises and gashes my soul had taken from my flesh and treasured all these years. Invisible slashes I had gotten from innocence. Running my hands through my wet hair, I attempted to pull on it beginning to feel a crawl of aching memories drumming up and down me.

That night continuing to run in front of my eyes as I scratched my fingers against my skin while beginning to hit my head against the wall trying to punch the memories out.

"Stop...Stop...Please stop...No! No!" Screams erupting from me as I began to slam my hands loudly against the granite tiled wall wanting to break the illusion that was once again trying to catch hold of me.

"Stop Shivaay...Not today. N-no...t-today is Anika's special day...She has w-waited for this long...Try to keep hold of yourself for h-her...Only for her..." I repeated the thought continuing to feel my soul wanting to escape as I felt the sky of my heart beginning to crash not wanting to hold life.

Anika's tears appearing in front of my eyes as I felt them run into my heart.

Barriers. I am building barriers again just like the last time and I should not do such. I should not. I should let her in...She is likely the only one who may understand me the way no one else did when that night happened.

No. You cannot Shivaay. You cannot. Once she finds out the truth...she may walk away forever. She may not be able to bear to see this part of your past and she will likely leave you just like everyone else did....just like how your own family barricaded you and abandoned you...She will also leave you and take away the children...You will have no one. No one.

My hands beginning to tremble as I ran them through my lips beginning to think of what may happen if Anika finds out...She may understand. It is possible she will embrace my truth and continue to be my partnee...but then, what if she does not understand? What if she truly leaves? No. I cannot let this happen. I have to do everything possible to keep this truth hidden and not allow her to find out. Absolutely not. I cannot lose her again due to my past.

Already, I lost Chaaya and Anika once due to my past and if this time I reveal my past to Anika...I might just lose her and Chaaya once again. I will tell part of the truth to Anika on why I hid Chaaya all these years, but not all...No. That truth is a poison that I will only drink and not let anyone else take a sip of it.

Anika's Point of View

My hands brushing against my cheeks as I continued to wipe my tears away before taking my lipstick beginning to run it against my lips trying to rub in the idea that they shall not dare to cross the bridge that will lead to his past.

Anika no. Don't do this. You are going to repeat the same mistake as last time. Last time, you felt that something was wrong with him when you both were married, but due to fear of angering him and seeing a past that may forever change our lives, I held back. But I cannot do this. I cannot be selfish this time and continue to focus on my woes...Last time, I saw Shivaay through the lenses of how others see him...Cold, dark, full of rage...But Shivaay has depth and he is more than what he appears to be that I have realized now. The way he held me in my worst and took me in with our children to give us honor indicates to me that there is more to his heart that somewhere does know to love, but is scared of loving.

He is struggling and he needs help. I cannot back away now. I have to help him and take out the thorns from his gashes that forced him to embrace such escapes which have only harmed him.

A knock erupting against the bedroom door as I looked up through the mirror in front of me catching sight of Thayee ji, ,Pia and Pari. Their heads popping in with their eyes wandering trying to search for the man who had barely struggled to even make the climb in here while he was on edge of reality.

"Is everything okay now? Where is Shivaay beta?" Thayee ji questioned curiously making her way in steadily trying to look for him while I sat still with sudden realization hitting me how I had let Shivaay shower in my bathroom completely losing out on the fact we are not yet officially married in the eyes of others.

Tugging on my fingers, I attempted to think of an excuse on taking myself out of potential drama that may occur. "He's fine now. He just wanted to freshen up to feel a little better, so he's the bathroom," I spoke trying to make the situation as platonic as possible not wanting to give any wrong ideas to them, especially Thayee ji and her daughters who are gossip mongers.

"I know poor jiju. Such panic does not suit a handsome face like his. I mean the man is blessed with features of a Greek God," Pari blubbering out her lust over my husband as my head shot back to her finding her words running down into me not once wanting to take them in seeing her lusting over my own mate.

Anger hitting me as I clenched my fists tightly looking at her not once like the language she was beginning to weave over the man who was mine.

"Awww...poor jiju. What's wrong with him? Why did he behave this way?" Pia questioned putting out her fake sympathy card as she glided her feet towards me before looking at my wedding saree that laid on the small sofa next to me.

Drawing lines of white blanks in my mind, I attempted to think of a way to cover his secret considering he wants no one to know of it especially strangers. "He is well now and that is what should matter Pia." I spoke letting my voice sing loudly with bitterness wanting to keep distance from her knowing she is a snake that loves to spew her spit on others.

Grabbing a simple choker necklace, I wrapped it false diamonds around my neck seeing them dulling out indicating they were beginning to reveal their worth of one-hundred dollars I had bought as a knock off.

Pia raising her eyebrow as she crossed her arms looking at the necklace I wore before twirling her hair around her fingers. "Fake necklace...hm I think such false gems are made for woman like you..." She let her voice dial many rings of teases.

"Women with true gems are not gems themselves if they dare to sabotage others for their own gain...Remember the way you trashed my lab notebook in college to beat me in marks?"

The memory burning my tongue as I snapped it towards her seeing her eyes widen completely scathed by her sin that she had committed.

Feeling my heart beating loudly, I began to tremble with anger remembering the time this woman had dared to take my hard work and hide it in a trashcan, so my grades would go down in an introductory science lab back in college...I remember how I had to retake my lab course due to her envious nature.

"Excuse me? How dare you?" Her voice hitting a loud note while Thayee ji surprisingly stood still not once getting involved in the potential argument.

A smirk touching my lips as I looked into her shallow being that only knew how to judge and criticize, but not once admit her own shortcomings. "Well I could say the same considering you sabotaged me because of pure jealousy. It was quite low to be honest." Snapping my lines at her, I attempted to chew and bite on her ego that she inflamed off of me while throwing my intellectuality away.

Pia's lips pursing together as she began to tap her feet loudly against the floor trying to think of some way to come back at me while failing utterly at it knowing she was at fault. I remember when I found out about this sin of hers', I confronted and fought with her as insane, but then my mother interfered and told me to just apologize and walk away because I was ruining the family relations by fighting for myself and my thoughts.

"Oh come on! It's been years since this happened and Pia di regrets her actions," Pari defending her older sister while walking towards me.

Sighing, I looked away into the mirror knowing I was being immature by bringing back this old topic, but it stings to know she took my intellecuality and splattered it in the trash without even once considering we share the same blood.

"Well our Pia has matured Anika and so shall you. Forget about this now and focus on your wedding. I mean the wedding should be important to you considering your state...I mean I am truly surprised how you and Shivaay reunited after a divorce..." Thayee ji lighting a taunt as she plastered a smile and began to run a brush through my hair tugging on the strands wanting to unleash her anger over how I had pinched her daughter's false pride.

Thayee ji's words hitting the trembling tunes of my honor that laid somewhere within me wanting to come back to life. Her lines attempting to pull me down from my strength and prick my soul that found itself worthless after losing its pride and honor.

Lowering my gaze, I wrapped my hand around my womb trying to protect them from hearing the filth that was being uttered against their parents and in an attempt to protect them from hearing our past.

"Well I personally feel that especially considering the fragile bond you still may share with Shivaay that you should try your best to strengthen it," Thayee ji putting out a shackled advice to me as if the whole breakdown of our previous marriage was due to my own flaws even though that is not the complete truth.

A pink gift bag appearing in front of my eyes as I looked at it a confused while Thayee ji looked at me with a sham smile with her eyes showing a shade of blue indicative that somewhere she was on a path of showing me my place that she found to be beneath hers.

"We all three went to the store to get you a gift for your wedding and I think this is perfect," Pari yelping in a high pitched voice as I looked at the gift bag confused before taking a hold of it trying to figure what it would have.

"Um...thanks I guess," I muttered with a weak smile as I began to rummage through the bag to see what it was. My hands dipping into the large gift bag beginning to feel a thin, lacy fabric.

Lowering my eyes, I peeked in more closely only to feel my heart beating loudly against my chest with a layer of shivers running through me as my hands pulled out the layers of fabric.

"W-what is this?" My voice trembling as I felt red as a solid tomato with my cheeks beginning to burn seeing the black, white, and red silk and lacy fabrics mixing together with bows falling from it in odd directions

"Oh come on! Don't be so innocent. It's lingerie, can you not see it?!" Pia belched bluntly as if the fabrics held no deeper, sensual significance.

My hands beginning to shake as Thayee ji let out a small laugh for her older age as if the piece of the seductive fabric was nothing and wearing it was a night time routine for any woman.

Feeling mortified, I kept my head low as I stared at the fabric in my hands beginning to imagine what would happen if I wore them...I mean I have once before, but still it feels awkward to have this discussion with other family members. Isn't this supposted to be private?

"Anika beta you should be thankful we have you helped you in this matter. I mean you are already pregnant and somewhat beginning to show the pregnancy as well. Believe me once a woman is pregnant, her husband begins to lose interest and somewhere the romance dies, so this is a perfect solution. You have to do your job and keep the romance alive to keep his interest. I mean he likely lost his interest before that led to the divorce, but beta now a child is involved between you both, so you have to do everything to gain control over him..." Thayee ji beginning to ramble as my eyes shot up feeling her lines creating undercurrents of fear.

Looking at my womb, I found it bulging subtly out of my sharara as I felt a flub of fat touching my curves. Wait, Shivaay will lose interest in me because of the pregnancy? He will not want to be intimate because of how I will look...No. He wasn't like that before when I was pregnant, but what if he doesn't get in the mood considering I am expecting two and two means I will likely expand more. I already am overweight considering my curves and then I will get bigger...What if he doesn't like me like this?

Chewing on to my lips, I looked at the fabrics contemplating what I should do with them. "True, my best friend's husband like totally gave up on intimacy once she got pregnant and then had her first baby. Like her husband didn't even want to be near her at all. He kind of just had difficulty getting in the mood you know?" Pari noted nonchalantly as she shrugged her shoulders before taking a hold of the fabric and raising it up to show me the complete lace of the undergarments that would not once cover any part of me, but only enhance it.

"Oh yeah that was Niti right? I know, poor Niti had a drought for a year. Poor woman did everything to get her husband to end that drought, but he just didn't feel like it. Like she amped the romance, became more bold, and did everything to get his attention from cooking meals for him to even giving him massages...She did everything, but man he didn't budge," Pia spoke gravely as I began to open the fabrics quickly finding myself observing their details to see what may attract Shivaay's attention with fear gripping on to me over the fact how I may also face a drought.

No way. Absolutely not. I have had a drought for five years and I waited for so many years. I am not going to get a drought. No. no. no.

"T-then what happened? How did he come back?" I questioned in a low whisper, so no one could hear our conversation. Pia's smile widening knowing she had succeeded in scaring my lit desires of pleasure.

"Well let's just say lots of lingerie and blindfolds were involved..." Pia whispered while Thayee ji gasped loudly hearing her daughter's scandalous words completely at disbelief how much details of intimacy her daughter knew of considering she was not even married yet.

"How do you know all such?!" Thayee ji entering a simmering temper while looking at Pia curiously who gulped skittishly looking away to avoid speaking a secret she likely kept.

"W-well, Niti told me and Pari of course. That is how I know....I mean how else would I know lingerie and blindfolds are a secret to a man's heart...Hehehe..." Pia letting out a nervous laugh while looking back at me.

"Blindfolds?" I held the thought in my mind beginning to remember how I have seen blindfolds getting involved in the acts of pleasure and perhaps have personally experienced it years ago with Shivaay.... Burning red, I kept the thought beginning to imagine what I would do if I was the dominant one.

"Oh come on Anika. Do not be so innocent. We all know what blindfolds are used for and that is why we put one in your gift bag along with a tie..." Pari intervened casually as I drew in my breath sharply looking into the bag and seeing the products she had mentioned.

Clearing my throat, I studied the products feeling a little embarrassed considering how I was shamelessly looking at the fabrics and products of silky seduction, but feeling slightly thrilled over using these.

"So Niti used all of these and the drought ended?" I spoke softly while Pari shook her head in regret stunning me in an instant.

"No the drought kind of ended, but not officially...She hit it until base one which is like kissing and stuff, but never base two which is like you know...intimacy. Her husband never showed interest, so they kind of are riding it solo. But, damn she deserved it. She was so arrogant and full of herself like she is the queen of the world in terms of her work as an artist. So, I am kind of happy she got the drought." Pari shrugging her arms while I sat still hearing her lines.

Her husband never showed interest...What if Shivaay never shows interest in me after the twins? What if he just loses an attraction for me as I begin to bulge with the pregnancy? No that cannot be right. Who cares if I gain more weight? I already am over the scales and he still loves me...But what if he changes? Maybe he is just in the moment and finding me attractive, but what if later he finds me grotesque?

Thayee ji's hand taking a grasp of my shoulder as she pulled my attention. "See Anika beta this is what we mean. You have to do everything to get Shivaay under your control. He is not a normal man that we all have seen. He is strong headed and likely never kneels to anyone, but you are the one to whom he can surrender. Afterall, you are giving him an heir and more than that, he slipped away, but came back to you again meaning he found a charm in you. So, I suggest you touse this charm and seize him. You have to be the dominant one and the way you can do such is through your looks. Once you begin to grow and give birth to a child...what if he loses interest? So, you have to liven the romance in your life to keep interest and thrill in your relationship and now is the time to do such."

A cringe infesting into me hearing Thayee ji's unusual thought process that meticulously glorified my body as a means to reign a man in. Her thoughts something in which I was not finding agreement, but somewhere knowing they held a valid realness of life that men are like such who find attraction only in the physical flesh and nothing more. Perhaps, Shivaay is one of them as well...But I hope he isn't. But, what if he is?

The door suddenly opening behind us as we turned looking towards the man in question over whom such deep discussions were being held upon. My hands immediately pushing the lingerie back into the gift bag as I began to shake nervously feeling sheer shyness falling on to me over the thought of wearing this lingerie in front of him.

Brushing the towel against his hair, he looked at the four of us confused catching on to the fact that we were having a deep discussion that had stopped due to his appearance.

"Arre, look Shivaay beta is here. How are you doing now?" Thayee ji speaking with overjoy as she smiled and made her way towards him. Shivaay raising his eyebrow before looking towards me trying to decode what exactly was happening before he entered the room.

"I am better. I am feeling good actually. Thank you for asking Thayee ji," He muttered trying to hold back any more discussion over what went wrong with him moments ago. Locking his barriers, he kept a rigid frown trying to not once show the Shivaay that only I see when we are alone.

"That is nice and great news. Well, Anika's father wanted to see you downstairs in his study once you get ready. The engagement will start in twenty minutes, so do get ready quickly," Thayee ji reminded as she began to whiff the way out of the room not wanting to hint at what really was going down in this deep and dirty conversation that had shot me a reality check.

Placing the gift bag next to the dressing table, I looked towards Shivaay whose eyes were wandering to the bag with key interest. Taking my dupatta, I placed it around my neck awkwardly finding his eyes soon wandering to my cleavage that was blossoming due to the pregnancy.

"Waise, I hope you are better now Shivaay jiju. Pia and I were so worried about you, but thank God you are feeling better," Pari letting her body step closer to him as I looked towards her finding her giving a seductive smile to him.

Rails of bleak, nauseous currents running into my stomach as I clenched my fists tightly into my dupatta seeing the sight as Pari and Pia surrounded him in a circle trying to lee their way into him without any shame. I was right. These two are still trouble just like they were before. A smoke of burning green critters filling me up as I bit my tongue firmly ready to lash on them.

"Well, it is normal to get stressed right? I mean you are probably quite a busy man. In the running for becoming the richest in the country and currently the most wealthy in California. Quite natural to get stressed," Pia giving a cringe worthy speech full of disgusting clichés revealing her true intentions that eyed his money and even in the last moment she was trying to lure him.

Pari placing her hand on his arm making him flinch as he immediately snatched it away taking a step back from the two witches that were now ghosting themselves around him ready to take a wicked ride to hell.

Pari speaking another line as she looked at him with her beady puppy eyes that would take any man in. "I know jiju is probably stressed and not feeling relaxed at all. Plus, boring Anika does not help. I mean even we get bored to death while holding a conversation with her. Poor jiju has to tolerate her-"

"Anika is quite the fun actually. Believe me, only Anika knows how to destress me," Shivaay slapping the words on their cheeks as they took a sudden pause from their devious plan of shaming their own cousin for their own benefits.

Meeting his eyes, I saw him giving me a soft smile catching on that I was burning in jealousy and a slight case of humiliation. "She knows exactly what I need and that is what I love about her. She makes me feel the way no one can. No one. Believe me she is definitely made only for me," Shivaay held the pride in his voice giving me a smile as I looked away feeling a bee of shyness stringing me as I heard him overpraising me.

Pia's eyes moving between him and I as she rubbed her neck furiously not liking how she was demoted to a piece of dust in front of Shivaay's eyes.

Despite no matter how much we argue and no matter how many barriers we create between each other, somewhere this man always stands by me when it comes to holding my dignity in before others.

"She definitely knows how to keep the excitement alive and works on me quite well...She is a thrill to have..." His smirk widening as I drew in a sharp breath hearing the double meaning of his provactive words.

Pari and Pia's eyes shooting up like big owls clearly decoding his lines before beginning to choke and cough loudly as I turned my back clasping my hands on my cheeks while beginning to growl.

He is an idiot ladies and gentlemen. A dimwit who just decided to share the details of our bedroom with rest of the universe.

"We are going to definitely go now and give you two sometime alone," Pari singing as she grabbed Pia's arm dashing out of the room instantly not wanting to see more of the gushy obscenity that this genius, dimwit had displayed.

The door closing behind us as a lull swept the room. Cracking my knuckles in anger, I clenched on to the bangles and began to run them down my hand trying to force them down while looking in his reflection of the mirror seeing his foolish smile.

He began to make his way slowly towards me finding himself enthralled by the dull tones I held with the bulky curves that were being shown through my fabric. I am repulsive and yet he finds desirability in me...a charm that even I do not of. This charm is going to wither away soon, with the growing and bubbling twins, then he will find me gross just like others do perhaps.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

A pair of rough hands ran lazily around my waist enveloping me into his warmth as I kept still trying to appear mad, but finding his mere touch a gentle dose of love. His lips gliding down my cheek as he began to kiss it tenderly repeatively at the same spot trying to appease my anger over how he had heedlessly revealed an intimate secret.

"Sorry Anika. I know I did wrong by speaking more than I should have, but I did not like how they were insulting you. I do not like it when anyone speaks low of you. Also, I am sorry Anika the way I yelled at you in the bathroom. I just...I just lost control of myself and let the steam out on you." He spoke continuing to lay a feathered kiss against the nape of neck trying to cool me down.

Smiling weakly, I attempted to hold my temper, but utterly failing hearing his apology considering this stubborn man never apologizes, but the way he has been lately is doing wonders to me as he is grounding his feet back.

"I-It's fine. But, be careful next time before saying such things. I want our privacy to be only between us. You do not know, but I know that once you start speaking of your love in front of others...they use it as a way to go after you and even harm you..." I spoke entering a hazy thought of how I too confessed a broken heart to Priyanka whom I trusted, but to only lose the trust as she deceived our friendship and went on to abandon me.

"I am sorry I yelled at you Anika. I just lost my trail of thought and let it on you-" He began trying to defend his actions as I smiled grabbing a hold of his hand letting him know that his apology was not needed.

"I understand alright? You do not have to apologize to me because I know I kind of crossed the boundary and I went too far..." I mumbled aware I had pushed his limits considering he is a not a man who likes to pondered upon. He does not want anyone to look into his past and I know that, but I want to see it because I have a right.

"Anika I-"

"Let me get ready now and you should also just clean up and leave before everyone starts getting wrong ideas," I murmured interrupting him while continuing to press my bangles down my wrist letting them chime. Shivaay heaving loudly before shaking his lips against my shoulder with his wet hair hitting my bare skin making me flutter.

"Let me help you get ready like I always did before." Looking into the reflection of the mirror, I caught his smile while he looked at me as if I was a cherished beauty.

Leaning over he brushed his flexed muscle against my back making me shudder while he took a grasp of a simple, choker necklace. His fingers running the necklace gently against my bosom making my fingers curl into my dupatta discovering that he was teasing me. The cool diamonds running gently against my skin igniting goosebumps and lighting a depth of my heart on fire where a place for temptations existed.

"A beauty like you should not be veiled by the pungent, spite of others that you call your blood. A beauty like you should only be admired for you demure...adored for your honor...and loved for your nurturing heart...A beauty like you never deserves hate, but only love...And I spit on those who never learned how to value you including me..." His lips engraving his devotion against the rims of my pulsing heartbeat as my eyes closed shut feeling his fingers rubbing deeply into my skin.

Tightening my lips, I attempted to escape his generous caress that continued to work on the petals of pleasure that were beginning to swivel within my navel. His fingers running the necklace against my throat as I pulled on the edge of his crème colored kurta trying to hold on bits of reality despite coming to terms the was on verge of breaking into another escape.

Clasping the necklace shut he began to run his mouth hungrily down my shoulder sucking on the skin before laying a ravenous, moist kiss. Running kisses tenderly up and down my neck and to the corners of my shoulder, he began to light blunts of delight with his hands enveloping tightly around mine pulling me into an embrace.

"Shivaay...someone... might... see us," I whispered beginning to feel breathless finding his kisses becoming tormenting to the petaled flower that wanted a taste of him.

"It does not matter...you...are mine now." Smiling with demure, I liked his claim having longed this statement from him since long that only I am his and no one else. His lips taking a hold of my cheeks where he continued to rain me down with quick, sloppy kisses finding himself beginning to crave more of my ripe fruits.

Trying to not be pulled into the romantic illusion, I took a hold of my jhoomar earrings with my trembling hands feeling my cheeks blazing themselves with fire. Shivaay sighing as his hand snatched the earring from my palm.

"These false diamonds are not made for women like you. I completely forgot to give you the gift before the engagement." Shivaay grumbling in anger as he gently placed the earring into my earlobe.

"I-It's fine...I like this necklace. It's actually my favorite," I replied with a defiant smile feeling his lips taking a hold of earlobe making me flinch. My heart dropping down feeling his lips pull on my ear before running a thirstful, wet kiss on it.

"Baby why are you like this?" He halted his playful seduction looking at my reflection as I looked at him confused while he placed the other earring into my heated ear.

"Well this is my favorite necklace and I wanted to wear it today. Did you know I got a really good deal on this?" Smiling proudly, I twirled the necklace around my fingers feeling elated how I had snatched it clearance last year.

Shivaay shaking his head appearing to give up hope on me as he placed his hands on my shoulder looking into the mirror. His blue hues holding a clout of friction rebuffered with the fading diamond wrapped around my neck.

"Well listen carefully....I do not like this necklace and I do not ever want to see it on you again. In fact, the minute we begin this roka, I am going to take that necklace off and make you wear one that will show your true value...This is not a request, but a command," He spoke in a lowered, authoritative voice trying to beat the thought in my mind.

This our difference. He always values objects with money while I value them by their beauty. Beauty and money never go hand in hand. We think they do, but it's an illusion. An illusion many believe in including I at times, but the truth is beauty cannot be bought by money which Shivaay does not understand at the moment.

"I want my wife to have all the lavish luxuries that are offered because she is worthy of them..." He whispered wrapping his arms around my waist looking at my reflection with a proud smile as I rolled my eyes hearing his statement.

"I do not want luxuries Shivaay....I do not want you to spend your money carelessly like this," I replied trying to engrave the thought into him as Shivaay ignored the thought placing a fragile kiss against my neck.

"It is not my money Anika. This is our money alright?...You have a right on the money I earn and will bring to our home. It is your right because you are the empress of my home and my heart..." He declared with pride filled smile as I heaved in frustration not liking his statement considering I am not deserving of his hard earned income.

"Listen you work hard to earn your income and feel free to spend it on yourself and the children, but not me alright? I do not want a right on your-"

"Baby stop! End of discussion alright? Did I ask for your opinion this matter? No...I did not. I am working hard now for you and the children. Whatever I earn is yours and the kids', so now please be quiet and do not ruin my mood..." He scolded throwing me a glare of command while I threw a glare back to him equally not wanting his cash knowing it was wrong.

My integrity will not allow me to take his money and he knows it. I cannot claim a right over his assets and he has to understand that, but why do I feel this stubborn man will not come into terms with this request?

Sighing I lowered my eyes seeing the button on sleeve of kurta loose. My hand grabbing the sleeve as I looked at it closely while rolling my eyes looking up at him. "This habit of yours on tugging your sleeves always loosens buttons! You have to stop this habit!" I scolded him before opening the drawer to my dressing table to grab a sewing kit.

He let out a chuckle as I grabbed his arm pushing him down on the chair in front of the mirror. "Says the woman who has ripped holes in all of her cardigans by pulling on her sleeve s all day long!" He retorted as I threw him a glare and ran a white thread through the needle.

Raising his wrist up, I began to run the needle gently through the button trying to remember which direction I was supposed to go through.

"You are supposed to make a cross first," He reminded me as I threw him a glare before moving the button down and up trying to run the cross.

"I know...I was just testing if you remember," I lied while Shivaay let out a small laugh as suddenly I began to fall down. His hand wrapping around my waist and pulling me on to his lap as I shrieked in surprise.

"W-what are you doing?! Let go! Someone might come!" I began to hit his chest while he began to laugh adjusting me and pulling my legs on his lap and wrapping his arms around me tightly without any regrets.

"Well, let me test you then," He whispered against my neck before burying his lips into it running his damp hair against my cheek. His hands enclosing my neck as he plunged into it with his hunger running in overdrive with him leaving clumsy kisses letting his lips run wild on the bare skinned pathway.

Giving him a timid smile, I wrapped my hands around his wrist slowly weaving the needle into the button aware that there was no point in fighting because I was enjoying his raving love that was lauding me and revering me. My heartbeats continuing to skitter while feeling his kisses beginning to length and increase their pace igniting a blazing, liquid warmth streaming down my navel and to my flower. A soft moan escaping from me feeling his tongue run on the pleasured spot against my collarbone.

"You have good flavors..." He noted an observation from his test making me giggle as I continued to sew the button while he continued to work on finding new flavors he could take back to his lab of love he had founded in his heart.

"What do...they...taste like?" My mouth running shut realizing the question was quite racy which had appeared out of thin air. Embracing his wrist, I led the last hike of the thread ready to break it.

"Soft...creamy...sweet like honey...thin like milk...a nectar that is found from a ripe fruit..." He continued to taste them in between the bucket load of swift, narcotic kisses that were beginning to drug my senses. Letting out another giggle, I felt my flower beginning to quiver feeling those textures running down into it wanting them to rain upon it.

Lowering my lips against his wrist, I slashed the thread with my teeth while I began to feel intoxicated by the love he was laying with my hands wrapping around his neck pulling him into an embrace while he began to lace my shoulder with coaxing kisses wanting more.

My hand grabbing the towel as I began to run it through his hair while he found himself lost in the depths of my neck where he was finding many unseen and unexplored sites of pleasure. His hands dragging down my waist which he began to rub gently pleading me to give into another pleasure filled tryst.

"Shivaay...we cannot do this...our engagement starts in fifteen minutes," I reminded him beginning to dry his hair quickly while he shook his head stubbornly beginning to rub the edges of hip trying his best to entice me.

"Fifteen...minutes...is enough." My eyes widening hearing his claim indicative he was now diving into his sensual appetite craving to fulfill it. Adernaline pushing through me as I began to shake nervously looking back at the bedroom door completely aware anyone can walk in any moment.

"No. no. no. no," I began to repeat immediately taking his neck and forcing him to look at me trying to bring him to his senses while he licked his lips boldly smacking them at me. Revealing a playful smile, he began to lightly beat his fingers against my waist pulling me closer while I whimpered.

"No baby no," I repeated waving my finger at him while he chuckled at my childish gesture before kissing my finger finding it harmless.

"It's fun Anika to do the deed in fear. You should explore new things." He argued while I grabbed the comb and began to brush it through his hair trying to fix it the way I liked it. His eyes closing half away finding himself relax as the comb brushed through his waves.

"Well we can explore these new things when we are married Mr. Oberoi. Not right now please. Our families will kill us if they find us doing that deed. Did you see how they reacted with the kiss?" I stroked his memory while he laughed completely amused on the expressions he had discovered when they caught us.

Continuing to blush, I placed the comb back on the table before grabbing his cheeks and placing a tender kiss on his temple trying to convince his dirty mind. His smile brightening as he ran his hand through my waves while continuing to rock me back and forth on his lap trying to cradle me with his affection.

"You are looking ravishing baby. This simplicity in your beauty is going to kill me one day...Your beauty can bring death to any man." My smile widening as I leaned my head against his heart before beginning to kiss it while he pulled me into an embrace.

"Do not ever talk about death...You are now only mine and not even death's," I whispered looking up at him while he smiled before kissing my cheek briefly.

"I know I am only yours'...I want to only be yours' now..." He replied pulling me into a hug letting me know he is my stake.

"Hmm...what is this?" He questioned as my eyes shot up seeing his hand running against that pink gift bag.

My hand taking a grasp of his trying to remove it from the bag where his palm was lingering trying to take a touch of the mysterious black fabric that laid on the top. "No! That's mine!" I exclaimed beginning to reach over him while he began to rummage through the bag curiously finding himself intrigued by it.

A smirk touching his lips as he grabbed on to the bag while I attempted to snatch it from him. His hand waving the bag up in the air while letting laugh thunder from his loudly as I squealed in plea trying to snatch it from him.

"Give me! It's private!" My voice violently shaking feeling quite petrified at the thought of him taking a hold of that filthy gift I had gotten from my family.

"Uff...now I really want to look," He began to tease playfully as I snatched the bag wrapping it around my back.

His hands immediately wrapping around me pulling me on to his lap firmly while he began to struggle with me to take the bag. Our skins merging and colliding against each other while we scrambled to claim victory over the bag. His heated lips running against my cheek trying to lure me into giving it in as I began to push my hand on his chest trying to hold on to the secrets in the bag.

"That's it! I am taking this bag!" He declared letting his rough hands drape around me with his nails rushing into my palm as he snatched the bag out of my hands taking a firm grasp of it.

"No! No! Please don't look!" I exclaimed jumping up from his lap trying to take the bag as he began his scavenger hunt to find the scandalous piece of fabric in it. His head completely buried in the bag as he began to see a microscopic, in depth view of obscene seductive culture.

Grabbing my dupatta, I clasped it against my face feeling absolutely mortified as I watched his hand skim against the thin lacy cloth. My heartbeats dropping into my stomach with butterflies flying out and screaming in havoc.

"What do we have here?" He slithered with a wicked smile as he pulled out that thin, skimpy lacy fabric out appearing to appreciate it before looking at me. His eyes wandering all over me as I let my dupatta slip across me trying to hide my features shyly while feeling a small smile touch me liking the excitement of how he was imagining me in that fabric.

Running his hand down into the bag he pulled out a blindfold and then a small tie with his eyes widening seeing the products of seduction. Gulping nervously, I took a step back hitting the bed behind me wanting to collapse on it and hide considering how this man was beginning to explore the guilty pleasures I carried within me.

"Wow..." The single word escaping from him as he began to rummage through the gift bag finding more heinous fabric that Thayee ji and her daughters had shamelessly packed for me.

His head shooting up to me as he began to walk steadily towards me holding the sensual gifts in his hands finding them amusing. "Now what crazy ideas were you forming Mrs. Oberoi that you decided to buy these quite scandalous items?" He questioned in a low voice keeping the conversation between just the both of us, so not even the walls could hear.

My eyes wandering to the gifts in his hands which he held delicately finding them as lost treasures which could give him many hits of pleasures at my hands. Chewing on my lip, I began to shake nervously feeling warmth rush up to my face as I wrapped my dupatta anxiously around my hand feeling mortified.

What must he be thinking about me? What if he thinks I want to be the dominant one? Ugh. No. No. Absolutely not.

But, you do want to be the dominant one...Right Anika. Come on admit it. My conscious sneaking itself up in a sinister way trying to incite the devil within me while I attempted to shake the thought with my imagination running in 3-D thinking about the possibility.

Giving the smile of a devil, he looked at me ravishing himself with his lunatic schemes while he raised the lacy fabric in front of me. Biting my lip, I stared at that sheer fabric before looking towards him who shamelessly was oogling it.

"Anika...what is this? How do you use this or wear it?" He questioned putting a mask of innocence while a smirk played on his lips as he waved the fabric back and forth in front of my eyes teasingly.

Lowering my gaze, I continued to play with my hands trying to think of some line that could pull me out of this horrid situation, but failing to think of one. "Um...I...I am n-not s-sure..." I mumbled looking at that trencherous fabric not knowing where the neckline began and where the end of it was.

Shivaay surpressing a laugh as he looked at the lacy lingerie and back at me repeating the movement many times beginning to weave a dirty thought. A warm touch brushing against my cheek as I flinched feeling his fingers run down it before forcing me to look into his eyes.

"It is alright Anika...do not worry. We both can figure it out on our own time..." His voice singing lust as I began to clench my waist tightly continuing to shake nervously with a faint smiling thinking about how he might help me.

Taking a step closer, he began to tip toe his fingertips down my arm making me shiver. He leanned in letting his lips brush against my neck. My eyes closing shut feeling a layer of goosebumps igniting themselves as he threw the bag on the bed before crossing his hands around my waist taking a hold of it.

"We did this before right?" He whispered against my neck making me smile becoming reminded of that we did do this before.

"I-I...don't remember..." I whispered back with a tease. My hand swifting up his chest making it tremble as he found himself drowning in that memory where we both found pleasure at the expense of lifeless fabrics.

His fingers slowly beginning to slip underneath my kameez taking a hold of my bare waist where he began to rub it gently. Whimpering softly, I wrapped my arm around his back pulling him closer as he began to dip hasty, hunger filled kisses down the nape of my neck trying to ripen the quivering flower that laid below my waist.

"It was your...birthday after we got married...and you wanted a new thrill...so I bought these gifts...and you wanted to wear the lingerie, so I helped..." His voice breathless as he continued to dive resounding and lengthy kisses down my shoulders beginning to slip the cloth down my shoulder taking a hold of the bare, fleshy skin.

Letting out a giggle, I wrapped my fingers into his hair pulling him closer gesturing him to continue his battle of ravenous kisses. "Oh yes...but the lingerie never made its way completely...on to me...but the blindfolds did...and we...never used the ties..." I whispered beginning to let out a run of giggles remembering that unusual tryst of sensual hunger we both had decided to fulfill with lots of wine, strawberries, chocolate, and blindfolds...ties we considered but never got to...That is all I will say for now. Rest is up to imagination.

He let out a small laugh as I wrapped my arms around him while he continued to layer me with brushful, alcoholic kisses on my shoulder that were beginning to drown me into a sensual liquor.

"So, you bought these for me?" He spoke while I continued to laugh and pull him into a tighter hug. My anxious butterflies continuing to flutter as I contained excitement over the thought of using these.

"N-no...um...I got them as a gift...from T-Thayee ji..." I mumbled igniting a loud laugh from him as he immediately let go of me trying to ensure he hurt the right phrase while I began to join his laugh.

"You have just scarred my brain...How can that woman buy these for you? How?!" He exclaimed trying to ponder over the conservative values Thayee ji had displayed proudly, but dared to buy such explicit fabric for me.

I continued to giggle before looking down at the blindfolds laying on the bed awaiting to be used. Looking up at the clock, I noticed we still were running on fifteen minutes before the engagement.

Biting my lip, I look at the product tempted by its use as I felt myself continuing to shake restlessly wanting to take that and use it.

Plopping myself on to the bed, I immediately grabbed the blindfolds before showing them to him. Raising his eyebrow, he looked at me quite surprised while I fidgeted with the black silky fabric continuing to look at it thinking about the ways I could use it.

"You are right...we have um...fifteen minutes...so we can do some things..." I whispered looking down feeling awkward that I was initiating the idea despite reveling in it by now.

Looking at me confused, he took a step forward as I continued to play with the blindfolds in my hands. "I want you to do...things...to me while I am wearing this...now..." I squeaked the thought barely immediately hiding my face in my hands feeling red over how I had just unlocked a guilty desire to him.

My navel bobbling up and down with swivels of creamy milk that was begging to be rained on my flower where he would give me a stroke of ecstasy. The momentums of my heart increasing while I began to shake feeling embarrassed, but deadly craving this ugly dream of which I really wanted to be part of aware it would be the most gratifying experience.

A loud series of coughs erupting from him as he began to choke on my idea unable to even come in terms with it. Peaking through the gaps of my fingers, I looked at him finding him completely red like a bright cherry with his mouth wide open not even knowing what to say.

Turning towards me, he immediately snatched the blindfolds out of my hand and grabbed the filthy gifts stuffing them into the giftbag. His hands taking a grasp of my wrists pulling me trying to bring me back into my senses while I tried to give him a naïve smile.

"Okay big girl...I think we should end this discussion now. Please," He begged while I whined slightly taking a hold of his kurta pulling him closer wanting to ease him into the idea.

"Baby please...we did this before on my birthday then why not now?...Please..." I urged him as I grabbed his cheek beginning to lay sloppy kisses trying to convince him while he shook his head.

"No baby. You are pregnant and we should not be doing indulging in such wild ideas alright? I think your pregnancy is getting the best of your hormones, so try to control...we should really limit ourselves on love making clearly because it's only igniting these crazy desires in you..." He attempted to reason while I whined in annoyance grabbing his face and forcing it to look towards me.

"Nooo...I want you and you want me! Simple see? If we both want each other then why can we not have fun like we always had?...Anyways, we won't discuss today, but later, however, it is final that I am doing the blindfolds and you will then pleasure me...alright?" I commanded forcing him to shake his head as a smirk began to twirl on him completely in disbelief that the one speaking in front of him was me.

"You are full of surprises and that is the damn truth...No one would ever guess that you are the one reigning intimacy in our relationship," He noted with his smile widening as I giggled before taking him in for a brief kiss. His mouth opening immediately as we began to lead each other into the kiss letting out tongues raise while I began to tug forcefully on the inner flesh of his lips beginning to increase the pace.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Racing his hands through my hair, he immediately pulled away revealing love in his eyes as he gently pushed me back against the wall before running his hands down my waist. Smiling, I waited patiently for him to speak becoming aware that he was pondering over a thought and wanted to say something to me.

"Now, I think we have that much of an understanding that you can tell me what you feel, so tell me what you want to say," I ordered pulling him closer and beginning to fix the buttons of his kurta knowing that wearing traditional clothing was not his forte.

Carrying a somber smile, he continued to run his hands through my waves before pinning me lightly against the wall. His chest pressing gently against mine as I felt our hearts beating a waved rhythm while the heat of our flesh began to merge into each other.

Gathering some bravery, he attempted to overcome his hesitation while looking into my eyes wanting my complete attention to it.

"I am sorry about the way I yelled at you today Anika. You did not deserve that from me. None of it was your fault. You were absolutely right in trying to approach me and support me because that is who you are...You always put others first and their needs first and I love that about you. I love how you...held me...tried to kiss my wounds...and make me feel w-wanted...I loved all of it...and please continue to be this way because I am accepting of it. I-It's just that I...I do not want to talk about it. I feel that if I keep dwelling on this past and if I dare to talk about it then I may just fall. The remaining bits of myself that I have gathered will collapse..." He began to weaken as I looked into a reflection of a caged demon seen in his eyes that began to lose their courage.

He needs help. Those eyes are telling me a story wanting me to read it and unravel it. He is already falling and on the verge of collapse. He is breaking...He is becoming a broken soul and in this moment he needs me the most. He is screaming for help in this silence hoping I can hear behind the masked voice of valor he carries.

My hand running on to his as I squeezed it tightly trying to dose bits of my own strength to him knowing he needed it more than me. "You will not fall ever. Those eyes of yours tell me that you have faced many battles and these battles are what have made you like this. I understand our past changes us and forms our entity. Believe me...I know how it feels when you feel alone...not heard...and not wanted. I felt that way until I-I...m-met y-you. Y-you saved me a-and I did not fall...which means l-love n-never brings one's fall...Never. And so, you will never f-fall b-because you will a-always h-have me...whose heart will not never allow you to crash..." My voice breaking apart as I let my heart confess its love in the innocent riddle I spoke.

Silence hitting the both of us as we looked at our reflections in the mirror of one another's eyes that began to sing love from the sitars of our heart. A sudden enigma beginning to dance loudly and beat on my heart while it began to skip and drop and rise with thrill running through it. My soul beginning to liven up feeling a part of it beginning to root back to an ecsastic illusion...the illusion of love.

A veil of shyness touching me as I realized what I had spoken...how I had subtly confessed a growing love for my one and only...my soulmate. A smile wandering on to his lips while looking into my eyes beginning to decode the riddle. I coyly smiled looking into his blue hues that held a calm bliss hearing the undetected confession I made in a play of words.

I am beginning to love him...It is real. The way he runs on my mind...the way his smallest words bring a smile to my lips...the way when he aches, I feel I am the one who is ailing...the way when he tears, I find myself wailing...the moment when I hold him, I find peace that nothing else has ever given me...the moment I kiss him, I feel his soul merging into mine and bringing it life...Yes, I am falling in love and beginning to form love.

Love is not a dramatic moment, but a subtle event that happens randomly without any prediction just like now...The heart's confessions never look for the right time or moment...they just result from many previous moments of tension in which love is being forced to form.

"What do you mean? Tell me clearly what you mean..." He commanded grabbing my shoulder trying to clarify the meaning of my riddle as a fool while I giggled before wrapping my hand around his neck.

"I think this should tell you what I mean..." I whispered against his trembling lips before crashing my lips against them.

His mouth opening in an instant as he slowed the kiss taking each and every piece of me. Slamming me against the wall he began to lavish over the cherry flavors offered on my lips sucking on them to quench his unfulfilling thirst. My hands wrapping around his back pressing myself against his while beginning to merge the rhythm of our lips slowly increasing it. Our love bubbling into a sweet, honey flavors that began to burst from our hearts and emit onto our tongues which battled to get the bigger high of ecstasy that would further ignite the fire burning in our hearts.

"I...love...you...too..." He spoke in between the breathless kisses we continued to run down our dry lips that licked the tendons of firey flesh of our lips. Sparks of love continuing to pop with each fragile, gentle kiss that suddenly began to deepen wanting to fully take a piece of love our hearts carried for each other.

A moan erupting from me as he continued to push down on my tongue feeling a narcotic swishing down my throat forcing me to become intoxicated with the drug of love. Heaving, we continued to pace and let our lips glide and rise to satiate years of hunger we had formed from being deprived of love.

Letting go of my lips, he grabbed the back of head forcing me to look into his eyes as we continued to pant trying to gasp for air. He let out a small laugh revealing a light to his eyes that were beginning to find hope that one day he will be fully loved receiving my declaration of it...that his love may just not go unrequited.

"The way you run these riddles on me...I love it...I got my answer and that is enough. I do not ask for more. Having this riddled truth from you is enough for me Anika...Thank you...You do not know what you have given me...I did not deserve this from you..." He barely whispered holding his tears as I sighed before gently pressing my swollen lips against his and pulling back in an instant finding pride that he had unraveled my riddle and understood me in an instant just the way he is supposed to.

"No baby, you deserve this...and that is all I will say for now...I have to wait to say more, but thank you for cherishing even this small...truth..." I let my lines tease him as I smiled shyly letting my confession run to him while he began to shake in pure elation that I was beginning to string our love with him.

I cannot say more because I need time to learn how to love. My heart is forming love, but learning how to express this love will take me time and I need time to ensure that our love will last forever.

Leaning in, I brushed my lips against his cheek before looking at him while he continued to give me a triumphant smile over the victory he staked on my heart. Wrapping my hand around his I began to lead him towards the door while he happily made his way unaware where he was going.

"Now you be a good husband and go downstairs wait for me until I get ready," I ordered immediately shaking him out of his thoughts as he looked at the door towards which I was pushing him out.

"What?! No! We just started having the conversation...how can you just push me out?!" He began to argue while I let out a laugh grabbing the door open and squeezing him out of it.

"No baby, we had enough talking for now. Rest tonight, but none before....Matters of love are only talked about during the night..." I whispered the last line giving him a charming, beguiling smile as he halted outside of the door completely falling for it.

"Anika don't do this now...I want to hear more from you...about...love..." He spoke softly holding on to the door wanting to come back in while I lowered my gaze feeling timid on this matter.

"W-well...you have to wait until t-tonight...after our wedding..." I whispered keeping my eyes lowered feeling quite coy in his presence which was having a dangerous effect on me.

"Well then I will wait to talk about love in the skies..." He noted as I felt confused by his lines while he chuckled before kissing my cheek tenderly making it flush red.

"When we leave for our honeymoon tonight...after I win the seduction challenge...we will talk about love alone in a nice room in a private jet right in the skies where no one can disturb us...no one..." He held the air of mystery luring me in who began to feed on it desiring to lose the challenge, so we could go on an escape just him and I...

He closed the door shut as I immediately collapsed against it while I shrieked with excitement beginning to hear hymns of romantic, sensual love singing loudly within me. The trumpets blessing while drums praying within me that this love now that has begun to take root within me will begin to only bloom and never wither.

Shivaay's Point of View

Smiling softly, I began to walk down the stairs with my heart continuing to beat at an increased momentum remembering the delicate riddle Anika had weaved into me confessing a love she held for me. An empty barren desert finding itself crack and drown into the lakes of love as it began to realize that it was wanted by the divine seen in the blessing He was giving me in the form of that one woman...that one person who decided to love a creature like me. A man like me who does not deserve her love or anyone's love...is somehow being blessed with it.

The way she has confessed reflects the simple, chaste love she has that she continues to curse its ugliness even though it is a pure, frail beauty that she cherishes closely within her. She needs to learn how to love me again even if she loves me. One can love, but they need to learn how to grace it against their lover and that is the journey I have to take with Anika after our marriage. We have love, but need to learn how to love and that path will be difficult and treacherous that my soul continues to tell me, but to know that despite walking through a path of thorns, she continues to love me gives me hope that one day we both will learn love and its rules, its boundaries, and its purity.

Making down the last step, I found my gaze fall into the dark room across from me as I saw Anika's father sitting in a rocking chair looking into the dark aimlessly. Fidgeting with my thumbs, I felt an ache abrupt itself into my heart remembering how somewhere his heart attack was caused by my sin...My act of revealing Anika and my secret contributed to his suffering...With my own wicked hands, I pressed a bitter truth against his heart...That ravenous, savage demon pushed me to take him to the edge of death. I can never forgive myself for this. Never. I brought an innocent man to death due to a selfish love I bred within me.

Knocking on the door of the study, I found him jump slightly finding himself startled from the dose of existence colliding against him. A dim lamp lit next to him illuminating the aged hardships he likely faced. Anika's revelations striking me from years ago in which she reminded me of the troubled times they always faced in terms of bringing food on the table to barely paying the bills. Anika is their breadwinner and their sole support...on whom they have relied on for quite a while.

"Come in Shivaay beta. How are you feeling now?" His voice barely coming through as he held a cane from the recovery he still was facing.

Weakly smiling, I made my way towards him before lowering my hand and taking his blessings. Placing his hand on my head, he looked at me with a frail smile as I felt it stomp down on me as I began to remember how he was laying with death dancing on his hospital bed two weeks ago.

"I am better now. How are you doing?" I questioned as I sat down next to him.

"Beta please take a seat on the chair. It does not look good our son-in-law is sitting like this on the ground," He remarked pointing at the chair next to him while I shook my head reluctantly continuing to sit next to him.

"I am fine uncle. No need at all," I replied as he smiled looking out towards the rain outside the window finding it tapering down.

"Our Anika was born on a summer day. It was raining like this until she came when everything paused. The sun somehow scattering across her as she took life...She didn't cry once, but was born in pure innocence without uttering a sound...The moment I saw her, I knew we were blessed," He spoke with tears surfacing his eyes as he looked towards me revealing a father's love that he still somewhere carried within him despite feeling betrayed from our act.

"My Anika was always the quiet, soft spoken, shy child. She had capability of doing many things in her life, but her reserved nature always pulled her back. But, I do not blame her. She never had friends. Due to her soft nature, she was an easy target by others...She lost herself to bullying in her younger years and was heavily bullied until her college years in fact. Due to bullying, she lost her confidence...her smile...her true self and she just shut everyone off...including us....She felt alone now when I look back. She felt as it was the end of her life because no one loved her...When now I sit in this empty room and reflect, I can see why she ran away from home and went to you. She has seen a tough life due to us...We were not the best parents to her...That I admit. Anika is not a materialistic person. Not one bit. It was not the lack of money that created distance between her and us, but...lack of love. She just wanted love and we, her father and mother, were busy trying to make ends meet and focus on putting her on a good professional path that we just failed to recognize what she needed the most...which was love. She never got love. Never..." His voice consuming itself with rundown tears and swiveling in the boulders of guilt that were now running down on him.

Tears beginning to stream down my cheeks hearing the life she lived as I felt my hands hit the ground wanting to curse fate in how it only has tormented her not once giving love to her despite her being the most deserving of it. My being dropping its course wanting to leave because it began to figure that it was the biggest culprit who dared to send Anika to the ruins by its sins that is committed.

"She likely left us because she finally found love...in you. So, she left because she was dying for love and being wanted...I see it in her eyes Shivaay. I have never seen those eyes have light in them until now. The way she looks at you...and keeps you in her sight each and every moment...The way she held you today when you were ailing...That pain...ache...fear seen in her eyes all spoke to me...and told me how much she loves you more than even her own parents. I have never seen her like this ever the way I see her with you...There is something in you that pulls her to you to even a point that despite you two being divorced...despite the bitterness you two may have shared... she still came back to you...because she loves you," His lines beginning to tug on my love as I began to remember each and every moment Anika and I shared.

In each and every moment, she has always loved me. Every moment even in anger, sadness, and bliss...she always loved me. Always. She always held me. She always laid love on me. She always made me feel human. Even till this very day, she still loves me and continues to make me feel loved despite knowing how much I wronged her. That is who Anika is. She does not know how to hate, but only love...even love the worst beings such as I.

"Why did you both separate?" His question entering a dead stillness as I looked up at him entering a pause beginning to remember the screams that began to ring in my ear reminding me of that day when I had to choose between my love and my daughter...the day I had to give up one for the other...the day I met a slow death.

"Was it Anika's fault? Please forgive her...she is naïve. She doesn't know how society works and that is why she falters...She doesn't understand the rules of relationships and how they work...She let's her heart take course..."

A tear collapsing down my cheek as I looked at him who waiting for an answer wanting to hear what the reason was. He deserves an answer considering he is the reason why Anika likely has agreed to marry me. It's his promise that bonded her to me.

"N-no uncle. Anika was never at fault never. S-she was the perfect and ideal wife. Your teaching did not falter at all, but in fact shackled her to a husband like me who did not even know what the meaning of marriage was. She did not deserve a man like me...A woman like her deserves a true, good man who knows how to love....As my wife, she did everything to show her love to me and fulfill each and every vow of our marriage. She held me in my sickness....She laughed when I wanted to laugh...She cried when I was in pain....She w-walked on t-thorns when I had to...She gave me strength when I needed it...She even dared to change me to become a b-better person. She did everything to fulfill our marriage a-and make me feel loved. It was my fault. I was the one d-due to which we got d-divorced. I h-had to walk away from her a-and I did not want to, but I-I had to leave her. Fate forced me to leave her...even though I did not want to...and I regret leaving her because t-the m-moment I l-left her w-was the m-moment I realized her true value...And I am so sorry for demeaning your family and your daughter by t-telling e-everyone the t-truth in s-such m-manner...I am your culprit...I d-destroyed y-your honor...You d-deserve to punish me...p-please punish me..." Letting the secrets loose I began to let my tears fall down in front of him as he placed his hand on my head looking into my eyes peering into my quivering love that I held for her daughter.

The fights...the anger...the tormentous love from our marriage beginning to poke as needles into me reminding how both of us let ourselves loose with anger and her being the one who raged, but then always returning the next day with love not once regretting it. She was truly the wife that fate had decided to give me and I failed to realize that she was the one who was made for me until we parted. She always loved me and each and every flaw of mine while I failed to love her back.

"I know you love her...I know you love my Anika. I see it in your eyes beta. My heart tells me that only you are the one who can truly love her and give her the solace that she never found in us. I know you made a mistake by telling everyone this brutal truth, but you saved her from further shame....She was pregnant with your child when she was about to marry someone else. Do you know what storm would have come if that wedding would have happened? Do you realize the consequences of what would have happened?" He attempted to reason with me while I sat still with tears drying on my cheeks trying to ponder over the mere thought of such possibility that could have happened in the past.

"B-but I wronged you...and your family. D-due to m-me, you l-lost your honor...your pride...your d-dignity...I-I am sorry...I wronged and I sinned...p-please...p-please punish me..." I began to stutter and attempted to hold on to breaths as I clasped my hands together holding it in front of him begging for a punishment knowing that was how I would get justice.

He let out a feeble smile as he wrapped his hand around mine pushing them down not accepting my request. "No...I am no one to punish and you do not deserve punishment. That night the way you declared your love for Anika shows that your love is one that no other person can have...It is selfish, yet selfless. It is raged, but full of tender appreciation...It is obsessed, but able to be generous. It is a selfish love I shall say that forced you commit sin, but every love is flawed. Every love. Anika's love is one that never hates...because the fact she accepted you shows that her weakness is that she even forgives the worst sin...And your love is flawed in its selfishness, but you are young and you can change this love slowly...Let me say that the way you held my daughter's hand and supported her when she had no one...when she was brought to the streets due to my own anger...You took her in and you could have walked away abandoning her and letting her suffer, but you did not. You took responsibility for not only your child, but also my daughter and I know you are flawed, but then fate has decided to make you my daughter's soulmate and I cannot deny fate..."

We sat in silence as I soaked in his words trying to find reasoning, but failing to see how this man could let me go so easily without once daring to do justice with how I had laid a finger on his honor and allowed it to collapse without any regrets in that very moment except later. How can he just allow me to move on because I do not deserve to move on? I do not deserve this generous liberation. I do not.

"Do not say this please. P-please. I took your daughter in because I loved her and I did what love required me to do which was to protect her, stand by her, and never let her go. I was just fulfilling the mere rules of love that I myself did not know of until Anika came to my life. I was being a father by claiming my child as my own and I was being a lover by deciding to veil your daughter with honor....So, what I have done does not prove that I am a better human because I did what is a basic practice that each human is expected to do and fulfill. I know fate has decided for your daughter to be mine, but that does not change that I did sin and broke years of your honor and pride in a second without any shame...punish me...I need punishment to get rid of this ache within me that continues to blister me despite me wanting to do everything to alieve it...p-please..." I began to beg him grabbing his hands and forcing him to speak his punishment, but he sat still with a smile shaking his head not agreeing to do such for me.

"And this is why I know you are made for my Anika...You are a good man despite how much you try to show that you are not. It takes a lot for one to admit their sin and kneel and surrender...It takes a lot of courage to accept one's faults and ask for punishment...Only my Anika did this and now you. My Anika deserve a brave, rigid man like you who can protect her from this cruel society, but also help her grow that one day she alone can fight viceful people that exist. Only you can give my Anika security...strength...and love. I see it now...I see why she loves you..." He spoke smiling while blessing me again and looking at me with peace which he desired for long.

Sighing I leaned against the wall giving up that one day I will get mercy and be rid of these blistered broils that I am infected with after being a heinous criminal who sent an entire family's honor to the grave from which it can never return. How will I live like this all my life? Is this suffering my punishment? Is continuing to ravel in these injuries and feel their aches every day my punishment?

"Beta...you have to accept this fault of yours' and try to move on for the sake of your wife and your future children. At times, fate decides to not punish and perhaps that is what fate has decided for you. Fate is unfair and does not always do justice and maybe that is why you will not be punished...But, can you make me a promise?" He questioned as I immediately looked up at him seeing hope before I grabbed his hand ready to give any promise that would free me from my crimes.

"Promise me that you will never leave Anika and your children. Promise me that you will always be by her....and never let go. Promise me that you always love her and never once foster any hate to her. I know you made this promise, but I want to hear it again...I have to b-because f-from this day forward, her mother a-and I-I h-have d-decided to end our relationship with her...f-from this day on s-she will n-not be our d-daughter..."

Shock hitting the ground beneath as his lines rickshayed into my my conscience that began to tremble on the truth of how I have without any hesitation brought the end to a daughter's relationship with her parents...With my immoral hands, I have snatched her away from her parents forever...Tears running down as the haunting of her wails began to erupt within me from that night when she was left abandoned by her entire family due to me.

"W-what? How can you do this to her?...S-she loves you both a lot...She has cared for you both...cherished you both...devoted and worshipped you both. How c-can you just leave her?" I questioned as he closed his shut letting tears stream out of him.

"I h-have to. Our values and o-our beliefs do not allow us to c-continue our bond with her. She has to leave our lives forever...b-because c-continuing this bond w-will only r-remind us of h-how she b-broke our trust...o-our pride...o-our honor...h-how she forgot her u-upbringing and v-values...S-she ruined our reputation b-by r-running away and h-having a secret marriage and n-now conceiving a c-child o-out of wedlock...W-we cannot accept this...We cannot....So make this p-promise...y-you c-can at least do this much for me correct?"

His words repulsing me and forcing me to look into the life that likely Anika lived for many years in which she was shackled with an ideology that forced her to love her parents, but also surrender to each and every command of theirs not once allowing to live and breathe for herself. Her own family is now leaving her because of me and what I did. If I never had dared to pursue a challenge and fake a relationship with Anika then none of this would have happened. I started this and now how can I just ever even dare to leave her considering due to me she likely will never get the love of her family.

Placing my hand in his, I looked into his eyes and began to speak my promise. "I promise to never leave you daughter and always keep her as my wife and the mother of my children. I promise to give her my honor, my name, and a place not only in my home, but my heart. I promise to always love her and continue to build this love never letting it fall...and I promise to always give her every single thing she deserves from security to happiness to success and to love..." A weak smile coming across my lips as I sung my promises with pride completely aware that my only path and now goal in life is to give Anika the life that she always deserved, but never could live due to fate. Now I will do everything to ensure my Anika receives her share of life that she never got.

He smiled as he wiped his tears away looking at me with complete faith that I would fulfill these promises. Sighing, I looked at him before forming the original thought that I had come to tell him.

"I understand you want to break ties with Anika for what has happened, but that does not change the fact that she will always be your daughter and I will be your son-in-law...Despite, the differences between us and your family, I still feel the least I can do is fulfill my duty as a son-in-law and as a culprit of your family..."

Anika's father looking at me in confusion not catching clarity on my words that were slowly beginning to run out of me. Pursing my lips together, I attempted to think of a better way to construe my words that would not harm this conversation.

"I respect your independence and your integrity that Anika has always mentioned to me. I know you have been a self-made man and that you and your wife have worked hard your entire lives to earn food and raise your daughter. However, I feel that once parents age, they deserve to be taken care of the way they took care of their children. I personally have never really experienced a relationship with parents, but Anika has has told me all about it. She loves you both a lot and she would give up everything for you both...She regretted running away every moment and she missed you both every moment when she was with me. Her love for you both can never be replaced with her love for me...You both are special to her because you both are a part of her...She taught me this belief of cherishing one's parents that I still hold on to...Anika has taken care of you and your wife for years now and I am proud that she did such and continues to do such. However, I also want to share this responsibility with her...I know money cannot take place of a punishment for what I have done and never will, but the least I can do is ensure you and your wife are secure and able to find some peace in your age...So, will you allow me to take care of you and your family?" My voice quaking as I wiped my tears while taking his hand looking at him as he held a lull finding reluctance in accepting financial support from his son-in-law due to a conservative belief.

Folding my hands together, I looked at him begging for at least this right. "Please...p-please do not steal this away from me...I need something that will allow me to live...Money c-cannot replace f-for how I h-have r-ruined y-your honor, b-but a-at least l-let me do this...I want to a-at least t-take care of you both b-because you two are after all my c-children's g-grandparents and my w-wife's parents. I-I do not know how r-relationships work especially these, b-but my h-heart wants to support you both b-because I will find some p-peace that you a-are not suffering as much as you already are...P-please allow me..."

"Beta how can we? This is wrong as you are our son-in-law and we cannot take money from you-"

"Then a-accept me as your son...o-or allow me r-repent in the s-smallest way...I do not know. I just need this. I need some bit of peace k-knowing t-that you both w-will be fine once Anika leaves...I n-need some peace w-with the knowledge y-you both w-will not s-struggle o-once she leaves...I know she will s-support you after m-marriage and I will absolutely allow her to and I myself w-will do everything to e-ensure you both are t-taken care of...But p-please allow me...p-please...I beg you...please..." My hands grabbing his feet as he took a grasp of my arms revealing his tears while he smiled softly before placing his hand on my head.

"Anika truly made the right choice...You are a man with a golden heart...I already see you as my son and Anika will always be my daughter, but circumstances force us to break ties, however, I will love her...But beta how can we just take money from you both? It is not right...Absolutely not right..."

A knock touching the door behind us as I immediately looked back seeing my assistant Klen. "Sorry to disturb you Shivaay sir, but I just wanted to let you know that we have brought all the gifts and done the arrangements you asked for. Anything else you would need?" He questioned as I slightly smiled looking at Anika's father holding the thought.

"Yes, do you have my checkbook by chance?" I spoke as Klen held his finger up before looking into his bag that typically carried such extra items.

"Here you go and here is pen." He handed me the checkbook as I thanked him and gestured him away before looking at Anika's father.

"Beta please do not do this..."

"No. Now you will not speak a word please...You and your wife are my responsibility from now on and that is how it will be. If you do not know, I am a very stubborn man and once I say something, I do it no matter what. Your daughter hates this trait, but I do not care..." I muttered as I signed off the amount of one-hundred thousand dollars on the check before folding it and grabbing his hand forcing him to take the check.

His eyes widening as he looked at the value before immediately trying to push it into the palm of my hand while I snatched it away. "We cannot take this! This is too much!" He argued while I got up and stuffed the checkbook in my pocket.

"That is it. No more please uncle. From now on, I will be ensuring you are taken care of and this will be a secret between you and I. Anika should not find out about this because I know she will resist and argue with me. Alright?" I held my command while her father sighed as I helped him get up with his cane.

"Beta this is not right. I cannot take this at all..." He continued as I led him the way out.

"If you call me beta then accept me as one. Please I do not want to argue on this matter. You believe in accepting all wishes of your son-in-law correct because that is what your values teach you right?" I questioned as he nodded while I smiled widely.

"Well, then my wish is you will allow me to take care of you and your family. Done and end of discussion," I declared shrewdly turning his words on him while he let out a small laugh knowing he was caught.

"You are very smart," He spoke making me smirk as I stood with pride while looking up the stairs ready to see my bride.

"That I am, but not in front of your daughter. She catches me all the time which creates problems," I mumbled with embarrassment as he laughed while I chuckled before seeing Om walking into the door.

Throwing him a glare, I found his presence nauseating and a cruel reminder of how he had dared to wrong me. I would not even allow him to stand here in my engagement, but he is still my brother regretfully and I do not want to create more drama at Anika's home considering she already has faced enough from my family in the past.

"I saw the gifts you are giving Anika...including the big one. I am completely surprised to be honest considering you have never done this for anyone else. Why are you lavishing her with so much?" He questioned with pity as I clenched my jaw feeling anger tinkering up into me.

"Last time I checked, I worked hard for my money and it is my money, so I will decide where to spend it and on whom to spend it. Remember that you low-life," I spat the insult at him while his eyes shot blood not able to bear his true status.

"How can you say such of your own brother?" He hissed while I threw him vicious laugh before throwing my head against the wall finding myself consumed with the alcohol of victory I was going to drink tonight.

"Oh says the man who has done worse...Well, I can right now begin to reveal what a bastard of a brother you were and are to me, but I will not...So, go and walk away now. I do not want to see you right now. Go." I attempted to shoo him off while Anika's father looked at us with curiosity not able to grasp the war we both were on.

"Go now where everyone else. Please...I do not want to ruin the moment I see Anika with your revulsive presence. Please, do go," I ordered pushing him lightly while he began to relish in a rage not tolerating the treatment he deserved considering what he had done to me.

Throwing him a smirk, I waved him off as he began to walk away wanting to unleash, but keeping mum knowing it was a better option considering right now the whole family was siding me since he had triggered my anxiety.

Leaning against the wall, I waited patiently to see my bride who was about to walk down those steps to forever be mine. Our first step to forever starts now and I cannot believe I am being a cliché character, but it is true...she is now my forever.

Anika's Point of View

My eyes wandering to my empty closet as I saw my life now passing and entering a new illusion of which I was going to soon be part of. Looking at my empty closet one more time, I held a photograph close to my heart feeling her presence lingering against me and letting me know I should take this step and move on...move and begin a new journey once again with her father.

Lowering my gaze, I looked at my precious blessing...the one who had made me a mother as I smiled running my hand over her face admiring her hazel eyes she held slightly open while she looked at the camera in her infancy wanting me to capture a memory of her which I can adore once she would leave...

A tear splattering on her photograph as I immediately kissed her temple wishing I could hold her one more and cradle her against my womb. She would have been so happy to see her parents reuniting if she was here, but she isn't. My Chaaya is gone forever and I will never be able to lay my love on her and treasure her because she is gone. Even on this special day, I will continue to remember her because she was the reason why Shivaay and I kept our bond and dared for once to love each other despite the bitterness we both held.

"Your mumma will always love you the most more than even these two naughty ones," I whispered jokingly to her in secret as I felt tears touch my cheeks while I ran my hand against her picture wanting to feel her touch that would be enough to fulfill the empty spot in my womb where I carried her.

"I hope y-you a-are happy seeing m-mmuma and p-papa like this a-again. Mumma and Papa are g-going to be together again a-and t-this is b-because of y-you t-that I-I k-know. Y-our p-prayers of seeing us t-together b-brought this day, s-so t-thank y-you m-meri j-jaan..." I began to lay kisses over her on the frame wishing she would come to life for a moment and I could hold her.

Wiping my tears, I tried to hold on aware if Shivaay found me like this still struggling to come in terms with her loss, he might himself break down. Taking a deep breath, I admired her photo one last time before placing it carefully into my suitcase.

Looking at my laptop, I saw a picture of Shivaay and I from my wedding that I had saved from the past. A giggle escaping from me as I looked at the file of photographs I had admired since our parting for many years wishing and praying for a miracle...and indeed a miracle has happened. My Shivaay is now only going to be mine once again and this time forever that I know. Fate finally did justice to me and I know he is now my forever.

Placing the laptop in my suitcase, I closed my memories shut before looking at my reflection seeing how I would leave my home as a bride. Running my hands down the long heavy pastel pink kameez of my sharara, I admired the bright pink flowers embroidered on the ends of my kameez and down to the lengths of my sharara. A dull necklace shimmering with the heartbeats of love while tinkers of bangles enough to enhance the tunes of love for another man. Brushing my fingers against my earrings, I felt his kiss lingering against the flesh as I looked away from my reflection while my smile widened remembering Shivaay.

Tears holding on to me as I felt a love beginning to bloom within me with its glow beginning to touch me enough to overrun the simple bare tones of my skin.

"Are you ready?" A voice crashing my thoughts as I turned and saw my mother standing in the doorway.

Weakly smiling, I shook my head trying to break the ice that had thawed between us in our argument we had today wanting to spend a last moment with her before leaving. Even though we have our clashes, she still is my mother and I still love her despite what she does or say.

"Y-yes I am ready," I whispered as I fixed my dupatta on my head before wrapping its ends around my arms letting it stick to the long sheer sleeves of my kameez.

She sighed in annoyance as she walked towards me and attempted to fix the small maang tikka on my hair before taking my waves forward and placing it on my shoulders. "Now you have to learn how to take care of yourself and present yourself with class in front of others. Your to-be husband is of a higher class than you and God knows how you are going to adjust and not ruin his image with your mediocre ways. You are going to represent your husband in many affairs and considering he has already divorced you before, I know you had flaws somewhere that led to such or else why would you two have gotten divorced?" She spat angrily as I let my tears loose hearing her blunt allegation at the end not able to grasp on to the fact that she was finding fault in me.

"W-what do you mean? Y-you think that I-I caused m-my divorce?" I questioned as she rolled her eyes before walking to my hamper grabbing my muddy wedding saree that I packed in a plastic bag for washing it later.

"Where did you get this saree from? It looks quite expensive," She spoke looking at the mud filled designer saree I had worn for my wedding before with Shivay.

"I-It's my wedding saree that I wore before," I whispered taking the saree away from her not wanting her to even eye it anymore.

"So you kept the saree all these years? Such love you have for Shivaay. If you both loved each other so much then why did he leave you?" The question burying my feet into the graves of love as I felt tears turn into my eyes with my hands stuffing the saree into the pile of clothes wanting to hide it knowing that the vows it carried in its fabric were being questioned.

"It is always the woman's fault when it comes to divorce. When women fail that is when men philander and lose interest in their wives...I mean he did marry another woman after you which signifies that he found something in her which you didn't have." She reigned her nonsensical, ill, sick conservative talk as I began to shake with anger once again dwelling into her words of disgust that were making my stomach roll violently.

"H-how dare you say such words?! How low can your mindset get that e-even in t-this m-modern d-day you are b-blaming women to be at fault for their divorce? How?! You do not know anything! You do not know why we got a divorce and you do not even know why he married Tia! No one knows alright?! This is between him and I and no one else...But what I can say is that I did everything to fulfill my marriage and I upheld every vow of it that my heart knows and that my God knows...my God is my witness and so I do n-not need to justify myself in f-front of p-people who c-carry such sick, conservative minds....including you!" Screams erupting from bitter memories where Shivaay indeed had given me up for that woman, but I know and my God knows that Shivaay had a deeper reason to leave me and that I will continue to believe in because I have faith in my love and God.

My soul recoiling and wanting to rip a part of her away from it that she had given at birth realizing that my own mother had dared to enter a filthy ideology and embrace it without even daring once to give it up for the love of her daughter. The ground beneath me slipping as I began to feel dizzy with my mind spinning not able to come into terms how I was beginning to be orphaned by my own blood.

"My love was true...my vows were taken from my soul...and my God did justice to me finally. Shivaay came back to me and now he loves me more than even I love him because he realized my worth finally due to God because of whom I was able to fulfill my vows and seed love into my husband's heart. I do not care what anyone says or how they judge our bond because we do not need to justify ourselves for others. We do not. If we find our happiness, our solace, and our love in each other then that is enough...we are not going to live for others, but only for each other, so say whatever you want to say...I know my truth." Letting my lines speak to her I found her reach a complete pause not finding any argument that could allow her to overpower my truth.

Giving her a weak smile, I wiped my tears away aware that she was not worth the tears because her ignorance is one that I can never change...no one can. Fate has made her this way and decided her path should be this, so who am I to change her? I am no one.

"Yes, of course many know your truth including my family..." The words tumbling from a different voice as I turned seeing Priyanka making her way towards the both of us.

Throwing a smirk, she crossed her arms looking at the both of us before gusting her sight towards me and appearing aversed by my presence. This was the same friend whom I trusted my every single secret with and who I thought appreciated me, but who was I to know that she will leave me when I needed her the most?

"Aunty, Daadi is calling Anika to come downstairs for the engagement as she wants it to happen at an auspicious time," Priyanka spoke looking at my mother who nodded and looked towards me.

"Let's go before time passes for the engagement and then your parting from this home. It is good Shivaay beta decided to do the wedding at your new home...or else I do not know how I would have went through this entire day and held the rituals at our home," She spoke in anger without any regrets of making the confession in front of Priyanka.

Tears hitting me as I looked away keeping silence and wanting to just escape from this home with Shivaay. These people will never change because they are too rigid in their conservative practices and if one dares to cross them and go out of the norms then they are questioned...their character, their background, and even their values are questioned by such people.

Priyanka wrapping her arm tightly around me squeezing it displaying despise for me indicative that she holds ills towards me. I know I hid the truth, but it was for better reasons and if only she could listen to me then perhaps things will clear out between the both of us, but she does not want to listen because at the moment she is not Priyanka my friend, but Priyanka Oberoi who believes in class, status, and power all which I do not have and do not match with her family.

She leaned in as we began to walk down the hallway while I raised my ear ready to hear her hate. "At last you are getting what you always wanted...I cannot believe what a big scheme you weaved in winning my brother back. You befriended me and then through me you made your way back to him...seducing him back in without any sense of shame considering he left you. You are just a gold digger who trapped my brother to a point that you got pregnant, so he would have to marry you..." She hissed revealing that she deeply loathed me and forever had cut the ties to our friendship by drinking the poison of pompousness and embracing her blue blood.

Her lines attempting to whip my conscious, so I could waver and back away from this union that I was to form today. She attempted to slice my honor and poke me to a point that I would give up...She coninved a dangerous ploy and yet I am continuing to walk.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Holding my tears, I forced a smile aware someone was waiting for me downstairs...someone who held a piece of my heart and treasured it for many years. Our own blood has become our enemy as they continue to throw bullets at our love wanting it to collapse to prove their egos right that we were never meant to be and are still not meant to be.

No. I will not allow such scheming to even come near our love. Never. No one can separate us now. That I know because fate is on our side and not theirs.

Making my steps down the stairs, I gave a blushing smile to the one who waited at the edge of the last step for me. A soft smile touching his lips as I found him admiring the simple tones I wore which he loved. Appearing enchanted, he made a step closer towards me as I continued to walk letting go of my mother and Priyanka's hands while I quickened my step to him not wanting to be away for another moment from him.

Dragging my long dupatta down the stairs, I let it sweep love along the way from the ground collecting it for the both of us while I let out a small giggle seeing his goofy smile as he marveled at me looking at me up and down finding himself in a dream. Cradling my small womb that sneaked through the fabric, I smiled looking at the twins who were bundling with joy seeing their parents in bliss for once and escaping those dark paths they had taken for long.

Feeling demure, I forced myself to look towards him and find his bewitching smile that won my heart many years ago. His blue hues reflecting that he was spellbound while his lips continued to whisper love for me. He is not perfect. He has his dark phantoms. He has his anger. He has his mysteries. But, he makes me laugh. He makes me feel worthy. He makes me be myself and loves me the way I am. He makes me feel loved and that is all I have ever wanted. To be loved.

Tears colliding down both of our cheeks as we began to close our steps coming to understand that we were to take the first step towards becoming one and tying ourselves in a sacred bond under the blessings of the divine. Finally, after years of longing, we finally are going to reunite and say our vows again this time, but this time with devotion, worship, and reverence for them.

Pink and red rose petals beginning to fall upon the both of us while we made our way to each other under the canopy of the curtains falling above us. His feet closing the gap between us as he took a step forward grabbing a hold of my hands and wrapping them into his.

Feeling timid, I looked towards our families who stood indifferently not able to connect to our bond finding it unconventional that dared to challenge the natural workings of norms and values of society. No matter what, they may never be able to understand the both of us and that is fine...because I do not need any of them except my love...my Shivaay.

"And so she finally comes to meet her love finally after years of longing and prayers..." He whispered leaning in closer as I felt a tear run down my cheek which he wiped away immediately.

"She prayed long for a man who was not worthy of her, perhaps, she should not have prayed..." He began to speak as I squeezed his hands tightly not wanting him to say more because he was wrong.

"No, he was always worthy of her that she knew. She never touched a man before him because she was finding one who was worthy of her heart. The moment she saw a man like you, her soul knew that this man was the one for him. He was the one who dared to give her love that she always worshipped, but never got until he came. He is perfect for her because his flaws are what she loves and will always love..." My voice shaking while I let the riddle speak to him once again and confess a feeble love for him that now wanted to learn how to express itself again.

His smile widening as he looked into my eyes finding love for him while he began to unravel my riddle. "No, she is perfect for him. She always looks at her beauty and labels it as flaws, but she does not know that her beauty is in her soul that she carries as a crown. He desires her flesh, but loves her soul. He loves her because she is the only one who has ever dared to look into him and touch his wounds with her naïve love....And this day he feels blessed to be given another chance to give her the love she always deserved...I love you...and do you accept me to be yours' forever?" His hymns stringing the chords of love within me making my wounds aware that they will now be healed by the very man who made them.

A shy smile touching my shaking lips unable to bear his admiration that he let loose in front of everyone around us who stood in silence completely stunned by our loving confessions and riddles towards each other. Looking around, I saw them wide eyed and some just still unable to process how two broken souls like us who rarely smiled in their presence or even dared to live found themselves in solace in one another.

Tightening my grasp on his hands, I took another step, but only to begin slipping down. His hands instantly wrapping around my waist as our bodies pressed against each other letting our heartbeats to merge into one another. My hands wrapping around him tightly as I looked into his eyes that only held me and no one else.

"I will only be yours' forever...and will you be mine?" I questioned as he held me in an embrace not once wavering how we were boldly displaying our love in front of our families who kept an eagle watch trying to discover each and every mystery of our relationship.

He broke out of his dark shell only for me as he revealed an infectious, enigmatic smile to everyone looking towards them who stood as if they were seeing the most indecent display of affection. Shock touching them seeing that smile on his face which they likely have never encountered for years. Keeping my eyes on him, I waited for the answer as he looked towards me before holding on to my waist and placing his hand in his pocket.

Looking at him curiously, he slipped out a long diamond bracelet holding three diamond charms to them in the form of hearts. His hand grabbing my wrist as he slipped the bracelet through letting the heat of his fingers brush against my skin making it tremble.

My fingertips running on the charms with curiosity while Shivaay began to read them out loud for me. "Three blessings..." he whispered at one of the hearts revealing three small engraved hands on it that stood for our precious children. Tears touching me seeing a small letter "C" under the first hand.

Meeting his eyes, I let my tears fall while his lips trembled observing that "C" knowing it stood for our daughter...our Chaaya. The charm laying against my heartbeat that beated against my flesh soaking in Chaaya's name and feeling her presence. Even he wants to make her part of this day just like I do...and the fact he honored her tells me how much he still loves her just like I do.

Rubbing my wrist tenderly to keep me steady, he continued to read the second charm. "May God continue to bless our love..." He spoke gently reading the black engraved letters on the silver heart shaped plate surrounded by diamond studs while I smiled hearing his belief that for once he was giving God a place in our love just like I always did before.

My smile widening seeing the engraving and feeling the blessing while he continued to thread his finger to the last charm that laying on my wrist. "He shall always be only hers...and love her forever...Shivika for eternity...12.24.11..." He declared his answer to my first question with the last charm with my smile becoming radiant as I looked towards him while he read the date when our first kiss happened in his office at college when he was my professor and I his student.

He let out a small chuckle as I bit my lip reminding myself of the day when it all began between the both of us as I kept reading his promise to me on that last charm. His hands wrapping around my waist as he pulled me closer while I looked away shyly towards our families who began to shake their heads with grim or resentful expressions in how we both were displaying affection towards each other.

"Don't worry about them...look at me first..." He spoke catching my attention as I looked at him while he revealed a wistful smile

"These three charms represent pieces of both of our hearts reflecting our love for each and every blessing...for God...and for each other. As we take the first step to becoming one, I promise to always keep you secure...to cherish your hopes...to treasure your dreams and make them mine...and to love you the way you never have been loved before...I promise to give you my heart and always continue to love you and our children under the love for God..." His promises weaving my soul and bringing to life letting it know that its ornaments are not honor, dignity, or pride, but just love...love is my soul's ornament that will allow it to continue to live.

His hands taking hold of my neck as he leaned in and placed a tender kiss on my temple while we began to feel roses falling on each other. Letting go of my lips, he leaned in closer allowing the heat of our lips run against each other while he looked at me temptation wanting to take me in this instant, but holding back for the sake of others who stood around us. My hands wrapping around him pulling him into an embrace as I stood in silence feeling his heartbeat beating vigorously against me.

Never would I have thought that he would one day give me these promises that I always made to him years ago. He truly loves me and I can now feel this love in the beads of promises he is making in these simple charms encircling my wrist. Finally he is going to love me the way I always loved him...All my life, I have only searched for love...for someone who would give me this dose that would allow me to live...and Shivaay is the one who will give me this grace.

Hearing claps around us, I looked at our families who reluctantly gave into blessing the both of us as they continued to throw roses on us while I began to lightly laugh looking back towards him who rolled his eyes in complete pity.

"I really want to kiss you right now..." He noted in plea while beginning to grumble over how he could not fulfill this craving. His eyes falling to my lips while he bit them in frustration as I began to giggle before leaning my cheek closely towards him trying to tempt him.

"No kisses until we are alone Mr. Oberoi..." I threaded seduction around him as I gave him an innocent smile while he sighed in annoyance.

"Oh yes...no blindfolds also until we are alone Mrs. Oberoi..." He whispered only for me to hear as my eyes widened remembering that awful giftbag in which he began to run many dreams.

His hand grabbing my neck as he collided his lips against my cheek laying a deep, luscious kiss letting his mouth open and glide his tongue sensually down it. My mouth latching open completely taken away with the kiss he began to heat down my cheek not once concerned about others. My heart skipping a loud beat as I gripped on to him tightly before the photographer began to snap pictures of us with light striking the both of us capturing the scandalous image.

Everyone gasping around us with anger and embarrassment running through them completely scandalized and vilified by Shivaay's daring move.

His hands wrapping around my waist dipping me down while I held on to his neck. Our eyes meeting each other once again as he revealed a teasing smile to me while I attempted to show a tinge of madness over how he had made his move in front of everyone, but failing as a faint smile came across me.

"Now, you are only mine, so I will lay my love on you without any regrets...got it?" He held a playful tune as I began to giggle while he chuckled looking towards our families quite amused by poking at them.

"Got it Mr. Oberoi...now let's get engaged," I declared loudly while he laughed holding me in his arms while we continued to lose ourselves into each other's presence completely forgetting about everyone else except the both of us...because now life is only about the two of us and no one else. Now this life is only about our love and learning to love again.

......

Chapter 40 Part 2 is next where lots of drama and engagement happen :).

I know certain parts had a lot of internal point of views, but I had to write them to build Shivaay's mystery and build upon Shivaay and Anika's feelings for each other :). The wedding chapters will be long with lots of drama and content, so do stay tuned because these chapters will have romance, emotions, and lots of drama :) This is only the beginning.

Quick clarifications:

This chapter set up wedding chapters, so now rituals are on high speed. Next part we finish engagement. Then in next chapter, we have high voltage family drama in the "Haldi" and then we move on to wedding and reception. It is speeding up after this part. I promise :) There is lot of drama coming everyone believe me .

Every single scene in this chapter has a meaning. Family drama is building future mystery tracks that will test Shivika's marriage. Shivika's bedroom scene with necklace shows how Shivaay will treat Anika and they might come in conflict due to money. The lingerie scene hints at the complex intimacy Shivika will share in their marriage. Shivaay and Anika's father scene is a very important scene that hints at a future track.

The riddle of the love confession Anika carries says "Y-you saved me a-and I did not fall...which means l-love n-never brings one's fall...Never. And so, you will never f-fall b-because you will a-always h-have me...whose heart will not never allow you to crash..." which means that his love never helped her fall, so in the same way her love for him will never let him to crash :), thus, Anika indirectly confessed her blossoming love for Shivaay.

I know Shivaay and Anika's families are quite rude in this chapter and I am building up the tension, so Shivaay and Anika's families will learn their lessons in the "Haldi" chapters and wedding chapters-do not worry at all :)

.....

I know everyone wants the rituals to go fast, but believe me once new twists start coming many would want to see these happy moments again, so that is why I have slowed the story. I have to show family drama as well and I know some readers prefer more romance, but this family drama is essential to set the future tracks coming up.

Next chapters are speeding up with rituals and I am trying my best to get rid them of as soon as possible. I am so sorry if you were bored, but I had to add this family aspect because it was needed and so were Shivika's small moments because once new tracks happen, manny just might miss these moments.

Updates are getting shorter from next chapter and I will be posting whatever I have almost each day if I can from now on :). Thanks :) I am so sorry to this update was boring, but every scene had a deeper meaning from family drama, to Shivaay's anxiety attack, to the Shivika's scenes including the lingerie scene and love confession scene, and Shivaay helping Anika's father- all these scenes connect and will build many new tracks...Put all of them into perspective and you will understand for sure :)

Chaaya will come, but on the right time and I know everyone wants her to come back, but you all may just miss Shivika's happy moments after the honeymoon and once Chaaya comes back, so enjoy them until they last perhaps.

Every single scene in this chapter has a meaning. Family drama is building future mystery tracks that will test Shivika's marriage. Shivika's bedroom scene with necklace shows how Shivaay will treat Anika and they might come in conflict due to money. The lingerie scene hints at the complex intimacy Shivika will share in their marriage. Shivaay and Anika's father scene is a very important scene that hints at a future track.

This chapter set up wedding chapters, so now rituals are on high speed. Next part we finish engagement. Then in next chapter, we have high voltage family drama in the "Haldi" and then we move on to wedding and reception. It is speeding up after this part. I promise :) There is lot of drama coming everyone believe me .

Thank you for reading and if you wish you may vote, comment, and share :)

Chapter 40 Part 2 is next where lots of drama and engagement happen :).

-Ciao!

-Jasmine