*Holly's P.O.V*

It's been a week and a half since we went fruit & veg picking and I haven't heard a single word from Erika. No texts, no calls, no nothing. I kept making up all these excuses in my mind, like maybe she'd lost her phone, maybe it was broken, maybe she'd gone camping without telling anyone and didn't have any phone service or wifi, but I was just kidding myself. I knew exactly why Erika wasn't talking to me, but I still didn't fully understand it. She was the one who tried to kiss me, not the other way around, so why was she ignoring me? I didn't do anything.

"Holly!" I heard Mark call from downstairs. It was about 8 in the morning and I was still in our room. Mark knew I was awake because I woke up at the same time as him, he'd just gone downstairs before me.

"Yeah?" I called back.

"Get dressed, we're going out for breakfast!" He told me.

"Okay!" I checked my phone one more time for contact from Erika and let out a sigh when I found nothing before putting it down and going to search for something to wear. I wasn't really in the mood to put much effort into my appearance today, so I just wore a black crop top that tied up at the front, a pair of white and blue striped shorts, white Converse and put my hair in a messy half-up-half-down bun. I applied minimal makeup and slipped on my brown vintage wristwatch that had various cool beads and charms on it before I was ready.

"Morning, Holly." Zoe was the first one to greet me as I passed her in the kitchen, a bright smile appearing on her face upon seeing me.

"Morning, Zo," I plastered on a semi-fake smile, the demons buzzing around in my head preventing me from putting my whole heart into it.

"Hey, Hollipop," Mark grinned at me as he walked in.

"Mark!" I whined, my cheeks heating up from him calling me by my childhood nickname in front of Zoe. Mark only laughed while Zoe giggled and gushed about how cute the nickname was. Alfie then appeared and before I knew it, we were in Zoe's car on our way to breakfast.

•••

It was now much later on in the day, close to dinner time, actually, and I was in mine and Mark's room once again. I'd spend most of the day in here, with my phone and my own thoughts, willing the screen to light up with something from Erika. It never happened.

Why was she doing this? Did she regret trying to kiss me? Did she think it was too awkward to talk to me? Whatever it was, I didn't feel like it was fair on me. After the battle I've been having with myself inside my own head these past couple weeks, about her, after the confusion I've been feeling, over her, she can't try to kiss me and then just not talk to me for almost two weeks. I deserve better than that, don't I?

"Holls?" 

Someone knocking on the door startled me but I relaxed when I realised it was just Mark and responded with a small, "Come in." 

The door was slowly pushed open and in walked my older brother, concern etched into his bronzed face, "Hey."

"Uh, hey, what's up?" I forced a fake smile onto my face as he came and sat down next to me on the bed.

"That's what I came to ask you," He claimed, his voice soft and cautious, "You've been awfully quiet these past few days and you've barely left this room today." It was true, I hadn't really been myself. I mean, I hadn't totally been myself since the day I met Erika, but ever since the moment on the beach, I'd been even less like myself. Not talking as much as I usually do, zoning out a lot more, faking smiles here and there. And today, like I said, I'd spent most of today in this room because I didn't want to face the world. I just wanted to be left alone so I could wait to hear something from Erika in peace. So I could wait for something that wouldn't happen.

"I'm fine." I shrugged, but Mark didn't believe it for a second.

He then glanced at my phone, which was in my hand. It was on and Mark could see that I'd been looking at Erika's Instagram so he took a guess, "Did something happen between you and Erika?"

I don't know what it was about that one simple question, but it broke me. Maybe it was hearing her name, maybe it was because this was the perfect opportunity to finally confide in someone about how I'd been feeling, but the second the sentence left Mark's mouth, I found myself holding back tears.

Mark noticed the way my eyes glossed over immediately and, naturally, became even more concerned than before, "Hey, it's okay," He put his hand on my back as I bit my lip, trying desperately to stop the tears from spilling.

"No, it's not," My voice came out through a choked sob as I blinked, causing a tear to escape and roll down my cheek.

"What happened? Talk to me, Holls," Mark gently coaxed, giving my back a rub up and down.

"She... Sh-she tried t-to...to ki-kiss me." The overwhelming urge to cry was making it difficult to speak as I desperately tried to wipe away the tears that wouldn't stop falling.

"And you didn't want her to kiss you?" He assumed.

"No, th-that's the problem! I-I did want her to kiss me, I do want her to kiss me because...b-because...I-I like her, I like girls!" I finally admitted it, not only to Mark, but to myself, too. As soon as the words tumbled out of my mouth, I stopped trying to hold it in and broke down into a fit of sobs. Mark looked shocked, but he pushed his own feelings aside as he pulled me into his arms and let me cry into his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Mark asked me once my hysterical sobs had died down and been replaced with sharp intakes of breath and small, pathetic whimpers. His voice cracked as he was also trying not to cry. I knew he hated to see me like this, which only made me feel worse.

"I-I just... I've been so confused. I've never liked girls before a-and then I met Erika and all of a sudden, I-I'm falling for her... I didn't feel like I could talk to you until I knew what was going on inside my own head," I paused for a moment and took a shaky breath, "And then... And then she tried to kiss me...a-and now she won't talk to me, as if I've done something w-wrong," All of a sudden, the tears were ready to go again, "I haven't done anything, I-I'm just t-trying to figure out what my own body is telling me. It's n-not fair, wh-why is she doing this?" I wailed, gasping for air as another round of sobs racked my body.

"Hey, come on," Mark wrapped his arms tighter around me and pulled me closer to him, "It's okay, you're okay," He cooed, kissing the top of my head and gently rocking me while I held onto him for dear life, clutching his navy blue t-shirt as I let out all the emotions I'd been feeling since that day in Boots. Since the day I met Erika Saccone.