[DIABLO]

I stood there on the front porch of Lambert's house. I'm not exactly sure why I'm here. I mean what I wanted to do really didn't involve Lambert.

But I feel better when I'm with, and when I talk to Lambert.

I felt the now normal yet still strange feeling I got at the thought of him. I've known him for years why now? I asked myself as I caressed the doorknob. Why does it take me so long to make a decision?

Taking a deep breath I pressed the doorbell. I waited a while before pressing the doorbell again. The doorknob stirred making me jump back in surprise.

"Diablo."

I heard Lambert's voice call me. The soothing effect it had on me was still new and slightly surreal. I looked up at him at tongue-tied, the clumsiness and lack of words were also new. My attractions had somehow drifted from seductive and sweet Zeus to the precise and kind Lambert.

"Just come in," Lambert said, walking into the house with the door left wide open behind him. I followed behind him, walking into the living room.

"So what is it?" Lambert asked, switching the T.V. off before turning to me. I turned away still feeling tongue-tied as my eyes traveled to the stack of books arranged on the center table.

"I'm preparing for a class I offered to take in the local university," Lambert said, answering my unasked question as he went over to sit on the sofa.

The statement built questions and a fit of biting jealousy. I bet Miguel— 

"Why did you come here?" Lambert said, interrupting my line of thought.

"I — it's Zeus," I said, feeling terribly awkward as I approached the Sofa.

"What about Zeus?" Lambert asked, the sofa sinking with his weight. I looked over; a little scared about the tingling delight I was feeling over him being near me. Maybe it's always been like this, maybe it's why I've been hanging around his house when I feel depressed.

"Well?" Lambert asked making me look away in the realization that I had been staring.

"I went to his hearing, stayed at the back so he wouldn't spot me..." I trailed, turning to look at Lambert with worried eyes.

"He's not going to stand a chance if — if I don't step up for him," I concluded. Lambert sighed.

"Then what do I have to do with this? You know where he's currently staying; I've told you, haven't I?" he asked, turning to face the blank TV. I bit my lip feeling like a child being scolded at.

"I just —I feel more comfortable around you. I..." I trailed, peeping at him from the corner of my eye. His face was still neutral, staring blankly at the TV. I bit my lip feeling ignored.

"You've not been very well-tempered lately, are you angry at me?" I asked turning to face him. He didn't look my way just sighed.

"You're ignoring me now. Is this about Miguel?" I asked. Lambert turned to face me with one brow raised. I turned away at the intensity of his gaze.

"Well, is it?" I asked, looking down at the carpet. Why did I bring that up? I felt the sofa sink in a little more than a sigh.

"Why would you think that?" I heard Lambert say, bending so he was on the same level as me. I turned feeling my heart rate quickening.

"I — maybe he doesn't want me around you, or I'm I just a bother. I — sorry, I don't know what I'm saying," I sighed sitting up. Lambert followed suit giving me a weird look.

"What?" I asked trying not to meet his gaze.

"Are you jealous?" Lambert asked, a small smile forming at the side of his lips. My eyes widened in surprise.

"No. Why on earth—" 

"Diablo."

"What? I'm not," I couldn't finish babbling because he took my shoulders and gave me a small shake, shushing me.

"Look at me," Lambert muttered making me look straight at him. I looked away immediately a little freaked out at what I was feeling.

"Come on Diablo, look at me," He said, shaking me a bit more. I shook my head, looking at anything but him.

"Fine," Lambert sighed, letting go of me. My eyes frolicked to meet his figure as it walked towards the living room door.

"I—" 

"You want to stand as a witness for Zeus in court don't you?" Lambert said, stopping at the door. I frowned, feeling that he was completely avoiding the subject from before.

"Don't you?" he asked again, making me nod in answer.

"Come on then," Lambert said, heading out the door. It was then it clicked that he was following me to Zeus' place. I scrambled to my feet, running after him. I got out the front porch to Lambert's horning. Running to the side of the street I got into Lambert's car.

"Took you long enough," Lambert sighed, stepping on the gas. I hurriedly put on my seatbelt. I looked over at Lambert wondering why exactly he was acting differently. I removed my gaze from him then turned them to my fingers as I played with them. Maybe I kind of deserve it. I have been some worth a bother for the past two years.

"We're here," Lambert said, pulling up at the side of a white Duplex. I watched as Lambert got down and hurriedly followed. I started to panic as we walked up to the front door.

"Are you okay?" I heard Lambert say as he felt my forehead. I shook my head turning away at the feeling of my face reddening. I turned back as Lambert rang the doorbell. I heard feet minutes later and watched through the glass door as a figure approached it.

"Who are you?" the person asked, as Lambert answered with his name. I watched as the figure disappeared back into the house and up towards the door with another figure hovering behind it.

"Lambert!" Zeus screamed, opening the door and throwing his hands around Lambert. I moved back, giving them space. I looked over them towards the door where Julian was standing. I didn't feel the strange jealousy and helplessness I felt when I first saw him or thought about him. His eyes met mine and he whispered a small hello.

"Diablo?" Zeus asked as they broke their hug.

"Zeus," I muttered awkwardly.

"How—?" 

"He's been in town for the past two years," Lambert said, cutting in. Zeus looked from me to Lambert and back to me.

"What's going on?" Julian asked from the door, his eyes moving worriedly from me to Lambert. Zeus turned giving him a small smile.

"Let's go inside," Zeus said just loud enough for us to here as he guided Julian into the house. Lambert and I followed suit before being interrupted by a curious dog in the hallway.

"It's just a dog," Lambert laughed as I bumped into him due to my hasty walk. I ignored him feeling a bit insulted before following him into the living room. I smiled at the sight of the classy yet simple looking chairs. They looked like what Zeus would buy.

"Take a seat, I'll go get some drinks," Julian said before disappearing into the kitchen. Lambert walked over taking a seat next to Zeus, a stayed on a single sitter to be on my own, yet close enough.

Lambert and Zeus exchanged words quietly, giving me small a glance once in a while. I felt uncomfortable being left out in their discussion, but I calmed myself down with the knowledge that Lambert was probably explaining things, and I can't imagine doing that on my own.

My eyes moved to meet Julian as he dropped a glass of wine on the side table beside me. He gave me a small smile, but I could read the worry written behind them. I watched him leave glasses on the center table before taking the single sitter beside Zeus.

Lambert and Julian soon got up and left something about showing Lambert the bathroom.

"Diablo," I heard Zeus' voice say in a low tone, sending a spark of fear through me. We were alone and I couldn't hide behind the presence of Lambert again.

"I..." I muttered, turning towards him.

"I'm sorry," Zeus said, making me blink in surprise.

"I, err... I'm sorry for running away like a coward," Zeus continued staring at me with a defeated look in his eyes.

"I guess I was just feeling dirty," Zeus said with a small sad laugh. What does he mean by dirty?

"I... I shouldn't have done that. I wanted to hurt him and ended up using you. I'm sorry," Zeus said, biting his bottom lip. That feeling of rejection and pain that I felt the night he left came hurling up again. I shouldn't have taken him over, especially when I knew he wasn't in his right state.

"It's okay," I croaked, feeling the tears whirling up.

"No, it's not. I hurt you and myself, and the statement I tried to make while doing it never went through," Zeus said, making me divert my gaze from him.

"I know it's hard to look at me. I've made a lot of mistakes. I don't really know how you felt when I left, but I'm sure it's nothing but horrible because I know how it feels to be suddenly left behind," Zeus sighed.

I blinked back the unshed tears before looking back at him. He looked honestly sorry. I smiled, realizing that the fact that I've been deceiving myself that I'd forgiven him all these years, that I didn't need his sorry.

"I could never measure up to Augustus  right?" I muttered, feeling my old demons come up, threatening to spill over. That's probably what I needed, having been bottling them up for all these years.

"Diablo—" 

"I'm sorry, I know that's not what you meant, but it's just hard when no one wants you," I muttered, thinking to Lambert.

"That's not true."

"How would you know? You could have anyone you want. Don't you have Julian?" I asked, getting a bit irritated by his modesty.

"I'm really not sure. He can decide to leave anytime, I doubt he loves me," Zeus sighed, looking towards the living room door. I looked towards him with a questioning gaze. Why did he doubt something that was clearly written on the face of that man?

"Zeus, Let's forget the past let's work on the future," I said as he turned towards me. I watched as a sad smile formed at the side of his mouth.

"I want to stand as a witness," I said, getting it all out. Zeus threw his head back in relief, muttering a small thank you.

*

"Are you okay?" Lambert asked, turning towards me as I watched Zeus and his lover share a passionate kiss on the porch.

"Yes," I said, turning away from them and looking towards the road. Lambert started the car and we slowly drove out the estate.

"Are you sure? I know its hard letting go of someone you love." Lambert continued making me turn towards him. I watched as his blue eyes navigated the road. I turned feeling a slight tingling feeling on my cheeks.

"I'm okay," I repeated, settling into my seat. A calm song churned from the radio. I struggled to keep my eyes open as we continued to Lambert's place.

"Diablo, do you mind taking my phone from the pigeonhole and ordering some pizza?" Lambert asked, making my eyes flicker open. I looked to him with a raised brow wondering what he was implying.

"If you don't want pizza we could order something else," Lambert said.

"I err... I'm eating dinner at your place?" I asked, airing my thoughts.

"What? You don't want to stay over?" Lambert asked, making a turn.

"No. It's just..." I trailed.

"It's just?" Lambert continued. I looked over at him, wondering where the nasty attitude went to. I shook my head, muttering a small 'never mind' and that I'd just have pizza.

Throughout the remaining journey, I kept giving Lambert small glances, wondering deeply if I ever stood a chance to be with him.