The first thing to hit me when I became aware was the pain. It came from various areas of my body, washing over me in waves with brief reprieves before it would slam me again. Then the second thing to hit me was the remembrance of how I ended up in so much pain. My heart was gripped by icy despair.

I could hear voices talking softly nearby, and without even consciously noting it I could tell I was in a medical facility. Of course I would be, after the hell I had been through.

"You said she would wake up soon, right?" A voice I immediately recognized as Natsu's neared me.

An unfamiliar male voice responded to him. "She should be coming off the sleeping medication. She may be very disoriented when she wakes up, so please be sure to page us if she does. Her pain medication has also worn off—she will undoubtably still be in a fair amount of pain."

Silence followed this and then I felt a warm hand grip mine gently.

"Have you contacted the psychiatrist?" The same male voice asked.

"Yeah... I just got off the phone with one before I came here," Natsu responded to the man. I flinched as more pain washed over me and my eyes fluttered open, but I blinked as my eyes began adjusting to the harsh light. "Lucy!" Natsu exclaimed, and my attention was drawn to him, my head drifting to the left towards him. A man who I hadn't ever seen before in my life was suddenly on my other side, examining me and barraging me with yes and no questions.

"Do you feel pain here?" Gesturing to multiple areas. Yes. I feel pain everywhere, but it centered there.

"Would you like to have some food brought to you?" No. An appetite is something I definitely don't have.

"Will you be alright without pain medication for a few hours?" Yes. Even if I couldn't, I still would have nodded my head yes because it is with this pain that I compensate for the lost lives of Michelle and Igneel. Blood shed on my hands, people sacrificed for my happiness. Tears welled up in my eyes and I began sobbing controllably. Natsu quickly stood and pulled me against his chest, cradling me as I sobbed, pain jabbing at multiple places in my chest.

"I didn't mean for them to die!" I gasp out, my first words since waking up. Nightmarish rehashing of what occurred seemingly moments ago played on replay now, guilt and horror burrowing themselves a permanent hole in my mind. Natsu kissed my head and stroked my hair.

"I know you didn't sweetheart, I know... I'm so sorry you had to go through this," I look up at him with tearful eyes, finally noticing the absence of the doctor. Natsu sat beside me on the bed, lifting me slightly as he shifted over and setting me back down in his lap. My body protested to every movement I made, but I feebly curled up in his lap like a lost kitten. He let me cry until I couldn't anymore, and when that happened he whispered words of love and understanding to me.

I opened my eyes a while after we both fell silent. "How are we supposed to return back to normal? Go back to school? Function properly?" I ask quietly.

"I don't know exactly," Natsu tells me. "But we will manage."

"Will we? Is normal even a possibility for you, for me, anymore?" my words desintigrate in the air.

"I will take care of everything, it may not be what used to be normal... but it will be what we need. Just focus on recovering. That is the most important thing right now." His words seemed to be more for himself than for me.

"Natsu... I don't think we will have any sort of normalcy... not for a while at least," I whisper. He doesn't respond, he only kisses my neck gently and lays me back down, laying himself beside me.

"I love you," he tells me quietly. For a moment I feel some semblance of untainted happiness before crashing back to pain. I grab hold of his hand, lacing my fingers between his.

"I love you too. I love you so, so very much," I reply with a trembling voice.

"I'm sorry, too." My eyes catch his as he speaks.

"Why?" I question.

"I am the whole reason you're here, and that my father and Michelle are dead. I'm so sorry Luce," his voice breaks and I hold his cheek.

"Natsu, I don't blame you. I blame the person who caused us this pain. I blame those who did this to me," I assure him. I can tell he thinks no differently. He likely won't for a long time, if ever. My heart breaks further, tears fighting towards the surface.

"Thank you," I sob out, the corners of my mouth sliding upwards.

"For what?" Nastu looks at me with a completely baffled expression on his face.

"For offering to teach me. To guide me, even if it lead to pain. Thank you, because.. you showed me that strength isn't just physical," my smile faltered slightly. I could see tears in his eyes as well. "Even if it takes us years, or even our entire life... we will find ways to be okay, right? We're strong, I believe that."

Nastu squeezes my hand. "And you helped end many people's pain. You did the world a favor Luce, and you helped get rid of someone evil," he reassures me. I close my eyes and nod.

"Nastu," I murmur.

"What is it?"

I pull his hand closer to me, finding comfort in its warmth and focusing on it rather than my pain.

"I really love you," I sigh, as I fall into a restless sleep.

•••

Wow, finally an update! I am terribly sorry it has been so long. Writing for this story has been hard as I lost motivation and direction. I'm going to finish it up in the next few updates though! I hope you all enjoyed reading it and I'm so sorry it took so long. I wish I wasn't so busy and I really wish I could write for you all more than I currently am. I love all of you! Thank you so much. And happy holidays!
-Kels