New Year's Day 2000

"Happy New Year, Elle."

"Happy New Year." she replied tentatively, the confusion in her voice escaped from her lips before she could even think to stop herself.

It was almost as if she were questioning her reality, almost not believing that George was really standing there, wondering if any of this was actually happening. But most of all she was curious as to why he decided to show up so suddenly and how he was able to convince Fleur to go along with it.

George's smile faded slightly as he looked away from Eloise and towards her parents, "Oh, uh. Bonjour," he started, "Je m'appelle George."

Fleur let out a snicker from behind him, causing him to look over his shoulder at her.

"They know English." she remarked with a smirk.

"Uh, right." he said as he cleared his throat and turned back towards them with a crooked smile, "I'm George, sorry for barging in like this. You have a lovely home."

The bewildered look on Colette and Patrick's face hadn't showed any signs of changing as Fleur walked up to them, "Let's catch up in the kitchen, I haven't seen you both in so long! I have pictures of Victoire in my bag if you'd like to see."

Corralling Eloise's parents into the other room was quite the easy feat all things considered. The two of them followed Fleur into the kitchen without objection, leaving George and Eloise alone, standing across the living room from each other.

He rocked on his heels awkwardly for a moment, almost as if he seemed unsure if he should move any closer to her. His right hand nervously played around with the firecracker in his pocket as he gazed at the girl who still had a confused expression on her face. It was clear that he hadn't thought out his plan beyond this point.

Of course the whole goal was to apologize for everything. Ever since their first kiss on his birthday their relationship had been a rollercoaster, a slow burning fire that eventually grew out of control before fizzling out and leaving only destruction behind.

But how could he possibly begin?

How could he ever put into words how he felt for her, how he felt about himself, how deeply he regretted every mistake he had made, how he wished he could be a better man?

"Could we step outside?" he asked as he gestured behind her.

"Oh, sure." she nodded and quickly turned around to unlatch the lock on the door.

The sound of fireworks suddenly grew louder as they stepped onto the balcony. The glow of gold and red danced on their faces as explosions of light decorated the sky. A haze of smoke dulled the colors ever so slightly but all Eloise could focus on was how the smell reminded her of George. Even if he weren't standing right beside her, she wondered if she would have been able to avoid the thought.

Everything around her seemed to be a reminder of him. The fireworks in the sky, the swans that swam in the Seine, her favorite blue cardigan, the three sugars she put in her tea every morning, the nail polish she wore on on her fingers. It was all George. No matter how badly she wanted to run away, it seemed like he would always be there.

"There's something I wanted to show you." George started, finally breaking Eloise out of her thoughts.

"Alright?"

He pulled out his wand and the rocket that had been hiding in the pocket of his coat, but before he could light it Eloise placed her hand on his wrist causing him to lower his wand slightly.

"You came all the way here just to set off fireworks?"

"When you say it like that it doesn't seem very special, does it?"

Eloise rolled her eyes with a smile, "Is it really 'travel to France at midnight' special?"

"Well, I did make it just for you. I was hoping you'd come to the party, but since you didn't I decided to bring it to you instead."

"You can't set that off here though, we live in a muggle neighborhood."

A slight smirk grew on his lips, "I appreciate you thinking this will be more spectacular than a silly little muggle firework, but I wouldn't worry too much."

"All I do is worry."

"I know, and it's really quite adorable." he smiled, but his words didn't seem to reassure her very much, "There's so many fireworks going off right now they won't even notice, I promise."

A sigh escaped Eloise's lips as she realized she wouldn't be able to talk him out of it. All she could hope for was that he was right that all of her muggle neighbors wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary with this particular firework. Perhaps they were all just drunk enough on champagne that it would seem like every other explosion in the sky. Hopefully that was the case because she didn't even want to think about the idea of him getting in trouble with the Ministry for doing magic around muggles.

She released her grip on his wrist and took a step back, allowing him to light the end of the rocket with his wand. A devilish grin formed on his lips as he lit the fuse and all Eloise could do was watch helplessly as he tossed it high up in the air praying what was about to happen wouldn't be anything too chaotic - but knowing George, that was a risky bet to make.

The rocket shot up in a wild spiral before exploding into bright blue sparkles that formed the shape of a butterfly. It was really quite beautiful, but what was truly magical was when the sparkling embers that were slowly drifting back down to Earth suddenly transfigured into hundreds of blue butterflies that circled above them briefly before scattering off in every direction.

"George! How did you do that?" she beamed.

"Ah, that's a trade secret my dear." he responded, bringing a finger to his lips.

"It was beautiful. I'm always so impressed with you, you truly are a brilliant wizard."

"That coming from you means everything, Elle."

A shy smile formed on her lips before she tore her eyes away from him and looked over the city. Suddenly it felt like the skyline before her was a distant memory, a past life, something she didn't want anymore. But the reality of her situation was much more complicated than just a gut feeling. The thought of staying in France was for self preservation, a security blanket she held tightly around her heart.

"I didn't just come here to dazzle you with my latest creations." he said after a moment.

"I didn't think so." she said with a small smile as she glanced over at him.

"Oh?"

"I knew you wouldn't be able to convince Fleur with just that."

"Good point." he replied as he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck.

Something in his demeanor seemed to shift which caused a wave of anxiety to crash into Eloise's chest. Of course George hadn't come here just for one little firework, no matter how amazing it was.

"I'm sorry." he said as if he was reading her mind.

She should've been mad at him, in all honesty she shouldn't want anything to do him anymore. He had put her through so much, more than she should have probably tolerated and the prospect of listening to yet another apology exhausted her almost the second the words left his lips.

Eloise tore her eyes away from him to look at the streets below, letting out an exasperated sigh before responding, "I know you are."

"I mean it, Elle, I really am. For everything."

"I know." she repeated as she shook her head, "You don't have to do this."

"Yes I do. I'm an arse, okay? If I could take it all back I would. I would've never told you to leave that night, I got scared and I took it out on you and I'm sorry. I'm trying to let you go, I know that's what you want but it's hard. I shouldn't have treated you or Maxwell that way when you came into the shop, neither of you deserved that. If he's treating you well that's all I care about. I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me."

Words escaped her in this moment, it felt like everything was coming at her at a million miles an hour. It was everything she'd already heard countless times, yet somehow it felt more overwhelming than every time before. She felt as though she couldn't bring herself to look over at George now, no matter how much she wanted to. She was almost certain that she wouldn't be able to contain her emotions if she looked into his eyes. So instead, she just stood there silently staring off into the distance, not focusing on any building in particular.

In her hesitation, George seized the opportunity to explain himself further, "I know my behavior has to change to earn your trust back. I am changing, the therapy is really helping."

"That's good." Eloise finally replied, and she knew he probably wanted more of a response than that, but it's all she could muster at the moment.

George furrowed his brows for a brief second, "Uh, speaking of therapy and in the interest of honesty, I need to tell you that I've been seeing Alicia pretty often."

"I know, Verity told me." she said quietly.

"Yeah, I figured. You really should have heard it from me, not her."

"Are you two-?" Eloise stammered for a moment, but he understood immediately.

"Friends, that's it. My therapist told me to reach out to people I've pushed away. It's actually been really nice, she reminds me of how I was before Freddie died."

"That's great, I'm glad." Eloise muttered in her best attempt at seeming genuinely happy about the situation.

But the truth was that she wasn't. While George may have only wanted friendship from Alicia for now, Eloise couldn't help but wonder if he would change his mind someday and want more. What if she changed her mind and tried to make a move on him? Would he say no, just as he had done to Eloise countless times, or would their past make it easier for him to want to commit to her?

The thought alone caused a wave of jealousy to creep under her skin, nearly changing her blue eyes to bright green as she thought of Alicia and George together.

Nothing Eloise could ever do would bring him memories of Fred. It felt like an unfair fight where Alicia had all the advantages. She grew up with George, she knew him better, had more in common with him, probably understood him more. But arguably the most important fact about Alicia was that she knew Fred.

All Eloise had with George was mutual attraction and bad timing. At least that's how it felt to her in this moment, she'd never compare to his first love.

Despite her jealousy, she knew that George spending time with Alicia shouldn't really matter to her. She had Maxwell, after all. She had everything she could ever ask for, he treated her well, respected her, gave her attention when she wanted it and space when she didn't. Even though they hadn't put any labels on their relationship, he really was perfect for her. The only problem was he wasn't George.

"Are you uncomfortable with me spending time with her?" he asked.

"I don't know how to answer that."

"Well, you could answer it honestly."

She shrugged her shoulders, "It doesn't matter how I feel about it, it's your life, not mine. If she makes you happy that's what's important."

George didn't respond right away, instead he attempted to study her face or at least whatever he could read behind her curls and distracted gazes off into the distance. They would always be a work in progress, but this time it really seemed like George was finally ready to put in the effort to make things right.

"I know everything between us is complicated but I really do respect your opinion. I want you to tell me if you don't like something. I think our biggest problem has always been a lack communication and I know I'm totally to blame for that. So please, don't try to spare my feelings if it means bottling up yours. I want to know how you're feeling, okay?"

All she did was nod in response. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but was too afraid. She couldn't even bring herself to look at him for fear of letting all of her emotions get the better of her, let alone express every thought and feeling running through her mind in that moment.

It was just like when they had first met.

She was always so nervous to look at him but instead of being filled with excited butterflies, it was now replaced by a feeling of fear and dread. Fear that they were always looming over the precipice of an endless abyss of heart ache. One of them was always dangling dangerously over the edge as the other desperately tried to hang on to the rope that would save them. But something would always cause one of them to accidentally loosen their grip on the rope every so often, inching them more and more into dangerous territory. They just didn't know if they had reached a point of no return yet or not.

"I just want you to be happy." she said softly as she finally turned to him.

Just as she predicted, merely looking into his eyes released the flood gate of emotions she had desperately been holding in. She shook her head and turned away, suddenly feeling embarrassed by how quickly she let her heartache take hold of her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked calmly as he rested his hand on her shoulder, urging her to turn around and face him.

When she spun around her eyes instantly glued to his shoes, rather than his eyes and she spoke in a voice so small she wasn't sure he'd be able to catch every word, "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"If this is too much I'll leave, I shouldn't have come here without a warning, I'm sorry."

"No." she choked out, "Please stay, it's not you I promise."

"Okay, so what's going on?" he asked as he carefully reached forward to wipe her tears away, almost as if he was expecting her to turn away from him again.

But she didn't, she let him attempt to put the pieces of her back together that he had shattered. The warmth of his hands on her skin felt like home. It almost felt like she had been lost for months and she had finally been found. There were a million things she wanted to say in that moment but it felt like her mind was pulling her in different directions.

"George, I-" she started as she looked up to meet his eyes.

His smile was kind and patient as his thumb brushed softly against her cheek but rather than feeling comforted, she suddenly felt like the entire world was resting on this one moment. Delicately balanced between disaster and salvation.

What she wanted to say and what she needed to say felt like they were on polar opposite ends of the spectrum. A confession that felt like a gamble was on the tip of her tongue. Even the mere thought of it caused her heart to beat wildly against her ribs. A word that felt like it had the weight of the universe behind it, the pain and longing it held all within just a few letters and all she needed to do was say it.

But the reality of her current situation was much more concrete. It was a little bit complicated, and almost just as painful, but the safer option nonetheless. Staying or returning, while still a difficult choice to make, felt much more possible than ever saying that silly little word.

"I've been thinking about staying." she finally finished.

George pulled back with a frown, not quite understanding what she was saying, "What?"

"In France. I've been thinking of moving home." she clarified, her voice shaking slightly.

"Why?"

It was an excellent question, one with an answer Eloise felt was quite obvious at this point. But instead of telling him how she couldn't handle how deeply her feelings for him had consumed her or how she didn't think it was possible for her to ever let him go, she quickly came up with a lie.

"Fleur doesn't need me anymore, she honestly hasn't for a while. Her anxiety has gotten a lot better and besides, I've far overstayed my welcome, no matter what she or Bill say."

"What's wrong with finding your own place? If you don't want to live with them anymore, I'll help you look for a flat."

"It's just easier to move home, I won't have to deal with a landlord or noisy neighbors."

"But what about your job?"

"I can transfer to the Ministry here." she shrugged.

From Eloise's perspective, it looked like he wanted to say something more, something deeper than objecting with trivial reasons like apartments and jobs. But his lips remained firmly pressed in a line as his eyes bore into her soul. Even if he did make some big profession of his feelings - not that she really thought he would - she didn't think it would help make her decision any easier. The idea of him asking her to stay for him honestly only made her even more afraid to return to England.

"You're really considering this?" he asked.

She nodded her head and turned back to rest her elbows on the railing, "There's just no reason for me to stay there anymore."

"No reason?" he couldn't help but laugh through his confusion, "I can think of three right now off the top of my head."

"This is where I belong." she replied, keeping her eyes on the skyline in the distance.

"What about Verity? You've become one of her best friends, you don't think she'll be hurt to know you're moving away? Or Victoire? She could grow up having her Auntie Elle around every day. Why would you give up the chance to watch her grow up?"

"Because I just can't stay there anymore, okay? Will you please drop it?" Eloise demanded as she locked eyes with him.

"No, I won't because you're throwing everything away and it doesn't make any sense."

"You'd never understand."

"Try me."

She shook her head and tore her eyes away from him. This was what she was afraid of. Having to admit to George that the entire reason she wanted to leave was to get away from him, from someone she had fallen for so deeply that she didn't even know what her life looked like without him anymore.

A lengthy pause fell between them but George didn't dare to break the silence before her. It was her move now, all he could do was wait and see if she was willing to tell him what was really making her want to run away. Little did he know the reason was him.

"Because if I stay I don't think I'll ever get over you." she blurted out suddenly.

"That's why you want to leave?"

"I mean," she shrugged, suddenly feeling guilty and a little bit silly, "We've tried to be just friends George, and look at where it's gotten us. We keep going in circles and I can't do it anymore. If I come home that just ends things. It's a clean break, that makes it easier for both of us, right?"

"I hate to think that you'd give up everything you have just to try and move on from me."

"Don't try and beg me to stay for you, George. That isn't fair."

"That's not what I'm trying to do, Elle. I know everything we have is complicated and I don't blame you for wanting to move on. I just don't want you to leave your entire life behind because I drove you away. If you stay in England you can watch Victoire grow up, you can see Ron and Hermione get married, you can climb to the top of your career - Merlin knows that department would run better if you were in charge."

Eloise rolled her eyes, "I can do most of that even if I move back here. I have the Floo Network, portkeys, brooms if I absolutely have to."

"You and I both know you won't take a broom." he smirked.

"You're missing the point."

"I think you're the one missing the point. You can visit, but it's not the same as living right down the road and I think you know that."

"I'll make it work." she replied curtly.

"Elle, come on."

"Stop it, George." she groaned, "I knew I shouldn't have told you, I should have just done it and not told anyone."

George's expression shifted from determination to confusion, "You haven't told anyone? Not even Fleur?"

"Well, no..."

"So you were just going to disappear?"

"Obviously not, I'd still have to sort out my transfer at work, pack up my things at Shell Cottage... talk to Maxwell."

"I really think you should reconsider this." he looked at her intensely as she merely frowned at him, "I mean it, Elle, don't stay for me, really. That's not what I'm doing. I want you to stay for everything else you have, please don't give up on yourself just because I fucked everything up."

She shook her head and rolled her eyes, "Well, I haven't even made a decision yet."

"England is your home and I'm going to fight for you to stay. For you, not for me."

Home. That word felt more confusing the longer she considered its meaning, as if it was a language she'd never learned. All she was sure was that George felt like home to her and yet she wanted to run away from him at the same time. Everything was too confusing for her and he seemed to sense this as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Just think about it, okay? Everyone loves you and would hate to see you move away."

Was he included in that list of 'everyone' as well? She couldn't help but wonder as she gazed into his eyes. The way she felt for him wasn't a question in her heart, but where she stood with him felt like it would always remain a mystery. The entire idea of leaving was to move on from him, but she couldn't decide if she really wanted to or just thought she needed to.

The tangled web of their relationship seemed like it could never be fixed. Eloise thought moving on from each other would fix things, she thought they'd be able to go back to how they were before that horrible night in October. But was that even an option anymore? It felt like moving on was almost as impossible for them as repairing their relationship. As it stood, it seemed like if they stayed in each other's lives they were doomed to exist in limbo forever. Leaving would be the end, it would hurt but it would be easier in the long run.

"Elle, please promise me you'll think about it." he urged when her hesitation was too much for him to bear.

"Fine, I promise." she sighed.

The door to the balcony cracked open slightly as Fleur stuck her head out, "Hi, I'm sorry. It's nearly one in the morning now, George, we should really head home."

Reluctantly he nodded at her, "I'll be in in a minute."

Fleur gave him a thin smile, noting the clear tension of the situation she had interrupted as she quickly retreated back into the house.

"I guess I should get going." he muttered as he turned back to Eloise, burying his hands deep in his pockets.

"I guess so."

It seemed like he wanted to embrace her in some way but was too nervous to, or he was simply too scared that it would complicate everything for her even more. If Eloise was being honest with herself, she wanted nothing more than for George to wrap his arms around her and hold her close where she'd feel safe and warm against him, but it was probably for the best that they kept that boundary set between them. At least for now.

"I'll see you soon, alright?" it sounded like a promise, like there wasn't a single doubt in his mind that they would cross paths again in the near future.

"Sure." she said tentatively as he reached for the door, pausing to give her a small wave before joining Fleur inside.

She watched as he and Fleur exchanged words briefly before stepping into the fireplace without a single glance back at her. A sudden flash of green flames filled the room and they were gone just as quickly as they came. Tears threatened to prick her eyes but she couldn't even begin to attempt to place the exact reason why she was so emotional.

George seemed so certain about seeing each other again, but in Eloise's mind everything was even more confusing than it had been before he showed up so suddenly. She'd gotten this far without considering everything she'd be giving up if she did decide to move back to France.

It wasn't as if she'd never see any of her friends again, she could easily visit them whenever time allowed - then again, she had only come home to France for the holidays over the last two years. Last week was the first time in years she had seen some of her Beauxbatons friends and all of them had achieved so much that she hadn't known about. All of her coworkers at the bookshop had moved on with their lives since she left and even the building itself was completely different.

Would it be like that with everyone in England? Where she was only able to see everyone once a year until it came to a point where it was easier to just send letters until even that became something that slowly dissolved into sending impersonal cards only on birthdays and Christmas.

As much as she wanted to say she wouldn't let all of her friendships in England fizzle out if she left, she simply couldn't promise herself that. She just didn't know what would happen if she decided to leave until it actually happened. All she knew for sure now was that she wasn't just leaving George behind, she was leaving all of her friends, the entire life she had built, and even herself behind.