ᴀɴᴀɢᴀᴘᴇꜱɪꜱ
(ɴ.) ɴᴏ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴀɴʏ ᴀꜰꜰᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ

. . .

❝ QUIRK assignment?!" The class exclaimed in sync,

Izuku wondered how the hell they harmonized their words like that, but he wondered more why Bakugo didn't recognize him- he was literally standing right there in front of him.

"What about the entrance ceremony? The orientation?!" Uraraka worried out loud and Izuku sent a pointed look towards Aizawa that said, 'yea EraSer. What about the entrance ceremony? The orientation??'

Yea, Izuku was being petty because he too wanted to go to the orientation. He heard Nezu would be giving a speech by some of the second years!

"IF you're going to be a hero, you don't time for such leisurely events." The 'if' hit the students hard, it felt like the homeless looking pro hero was heavily doubting their worth as heroes.

Izuku deadpanned at Aizawa and tried to fix the sudden stiff mood, "The entrance ceremony will be taped, so I will email it to all of you, if you would want to check that out." Izuku still wanted to see the orientation live though.

Some of the students relaxed at his words before Aizawa started babbling again, "Izuku..." He grumbled and gave the greenette a glare.

Bakugo froze at the name mention. '...Izuku..!?'

Izuku didn't notice and only smiled, "don't stress the students too much, Eraser. Let's start now!" He quickly said so Aizawa wouldn't start his whole depressing speech on unfairness or whatever.

"Alright..." Aizawa sighed, "Bakugo, you finished top at the entrance exam..........."

Izuku ignored everything else, until a softball was in Bakugo's hands, and he was yelling loudly, "SHIN--"

CRK-

BLAST!!

"—INE!"

The throw created a short swift of wind, but the only thing Izuku could smell was the thin taste of explosions and see the thick smoke flaming from Bakugo's hands.

Izuku stepped back slightly.

'do not. do not. do not. you are safe, you are safe. You are safe. U.A. Aizawa. Hitoshi. Todoroki. They're all here. You. Are. Safe.'

Izuku calmed down considerably, but his hands were still trembling. He folded them into each other and squeezed to stop the vibrating.

"Know your maximum first; That is the most rational way to form the foundation of a hero." Aizawa faced before turning the scale device in his hand towards the students, revealing a score of 740 meter.

The students gasped in shock.

Izuku, though not fully calm, also gasped, but not for the reason as everyone else. 'His score...is wrong? No, not wrong.........it's just...different from my calculations...'

Bakugo had a set routine to be a hero that he'd been following since of young age– he trained and had cardiovascular exercises that increased his detonation speed and power as well as make his sweat more regardful and controllable, and Izuku was the only one who knew about it, despite not even being his friends- the bare minimum.

And Izuku knew that if Bakugo was still following that routine, his score should've been around 750 meter, at least according to what Izuku had estimated.

Suddenly, Izuku stopped his thoughts and shook his head. What was his saying? He isn't even that close to Bakugo, maybe the blond changed his training to a less affective one!

.... But why in the world would he do that? That man wanted to do nothing but increase his strength, and he knows that that training was most beneficial for him!

'...I probably fucked up the calculations. I did do them a long time ago anyway...'

. . .

Iida Tenya ran across the tracks with a serious expression on his face, he stood up and stilled as he reached end.

'Iida Tenya! Quirk: Engine.'

....

...

..

"Why are you standing there, posing? Hurry up, the others have to do this as well." Izuku deadpanned while raising his eyebrows at the engine-quirked boy.

Iida Tenya quickly paced away with a hast nod.

What was he even doing? Just standing there like an idiot. [Posing for the camera obvy]

. . .

The boy with six arms – Shoji Mezo, if Izuku remembered correctly – squeezed the strength machine thingamajig before silently moving to show Izuku, a tape-quirked boy, and a boy with balls on his head his result with a faint red tainting his cheeks, as if embarrassed to display his strength.

The boy with purple balls in his head – Mineta Minoru? – had his jaw dropped and comedic wide eyes.

Izuku's own eyes alleviate in admiration at the results, and he gave an approving grin towards Shoji, '540 kilogram, just incredible!'

"Wow, 540 kilograms?!" The boy with tape armed – Sero Hanta – grinned, wide eyes and jaw slack, "What are you, a gorilla? Oh, an octopus?" Shoji's face darkened slightly, unnoticeably, but Izuku still frowned in disapproval.

"Sero-san, that's rude. Apologize. You can't call someone a gorill-"

"Octopuses are hot~!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

...Guess who said that one.

. . .

"Alright everyone, now that that's done–" Izuku started, ignoring Mineta who was still sobbing in the background about thankfully not actually being expelled.

"soB-sOB! HkrSniffSNIFF" ....

Izuku wishes the boy was actually expelled.

"...um. Uh, there are handouts with the curriculum and other info in the classroom-"

"SNFUEHFKSoB!" *pig sniffing noise*

...

A pretty purple-haired girl with an earlobe quirk who was next to Mineta – Izuku felt bad for her – gave the boy a disgusted side glance.

"...Look over the handouts when you go back to class. Dismissed." Aizawa deadpanned and finished Izuku's sentence for him.

Izuku quickly left before he could be confronted by Aizawa and Hitoshi; the purple-head has been glaring a hole in Izuku's face this entire time and everybody could feel Aizawa's chilling aura.

Izuku shivered as he got away with a sigh.

'Seriously, they need to calm down-'

He walked in the empty hallways and towards the staff room, 'first, I should ask All Might about his lessons, then maybe I can-'

"DE-...IZUKU!"

Izuku halted abruptly, his eyes widen at the familiar voice- at the familiar name, at the familiar smell of caramel that heightened his senses to runrunrun.

"DE-..." DEKU.

...

Running footsteps headed towards him, but the greenette didn't turn around to look at the person who called his name, his feet glued to the floor.

His fight-flight-freeze sensations were off the radar. [And, like every time he was near, Izuku froze.]

Izuku's muscles tense up, because he could feel that that the person was right behind him, he could hear him panting after running.

"Izu-...huff-..Izuku...!?" The person's voice was trembling like it would when the person was angry, but Izuku thought it sounded a little different, a little something else-?

It terrified Izuku all the same.

'Don't show fear, Izuku. Don't you dare tremble. Don't you dare pale in front of him. It's been two damn years. You've gotten over it. Don't you fucking dare ruin everything.' Izuku cursed at himself for fault not his to bear.

His body followed his will somehow, now looking relaxed rather than trembling affectedly.

Izuku smiled – like a knife was gouged into his lips and had dragged his lips upwards – and turned his back to look at Bakugo.

"...Oh, good morning, dear student! Why did you call out my name?" Izuku smiled kindly, "Shouldn't you be in class right now?"

Suddenly, the greenette took notice of Bakugo's expression.

Pale, sweat-covered, lots of dark circles, and shaking fearful eyes-

...Huh.

Fearful? Why?

"Hey, are you okay? Do you need to go to recovery girl?" Izuku treated the boy like he would treat any other student, like a stranger.

"I-I-you-why-how-? What...?" Bakugo was trembling so much, that if anybody passed by, they'd think Izuku did something.

Izuku, too, was trembling at the hands, ever so lightly. 'Deep breaths, Izuku. Deep breaths. This is a student; you don't know him; you don't know him; you don't know him. It's just a student you're going to help.' Fuck, Izuku did not sign up for this shit.

Mentally, Izuku reassured himself that if he requested politely enough, Nezu would reluctantly ignore this whole thing, which the CCTV cameras have definitely documented, and not tell Aizawa.

"...Okay, calm down, Bakugo-san. You're starting to have a panic attack; do you mind if I hold your hands to help?"

Bakugo started to tremble even more when Izuku came closer and at the mention of his name, so Izuku immediately backed off.

'..okay. don't mention his name. and don't come too close. Got it.'

"...Okay, okay. How about we try taking a deep breath?" Izuku, slowly, grabbed Bakugo's hands and put it on his own chest, and took a deep breath.

Izuku held back the urge to flinch at Bakugo's hands, which were hot and somehow felt a little bit like explosions. "...Okay, let's follow my breathing, okay? Feel my heartbeat, focus on it, focus on nothing else."

'This has...never helped me, but Bakugo...it looks like it's his first panic attack? Maybe this could help-'

"...I-I'm fine. I'm fine." Izuku blinked in surprise at Bakugo's words. That was...rather quick-

"Great, now get to recovery girl, then class!" Quickly, Izuku immediately pulled his hand back to leave. 'I'll have to note this down to Aizawa briefly, just in case he has another panic attack-'

. . .

"DE-...IZUKU!" Internally, Katsuki cursed himself for the old habit of calling the boy 'Deku', but sighed in relief when the greenette froze in his steps.

"Izu-...huff-..Izuku...!?" Suddenly, the reality hit.

No, it couldn't be. No, no. Izuku- was this Izuku? It has to be? It had to be. No, was it? Was it? Could it be he misheard? No, no- this is Izuku no it's not.

Running towards the boy- he was about to put his hands on Izuku's shoulder, but the boy turned around to face him just in time to avoid the hand.

"...Oh, good morning, dear student! Why did you call out my name?" Izuku smiled but his smile felt like a thousand daggers somewhere in Katsuki's chest, fakefakefakefake, "Shouldn't you be in class right now?" Izuku continued, but Katsuki didn't hear.

Katsuki flinched and immediately pulled his hands back after seeing Izuku. 'Oh, god. Oh, god. I can't do this- I can't-that voice itisIzuku-'

Izuku had changed...so much.

His hair was longer, curled a little more but somehow less fluffy. Oh, darker as well, his hair looked almost black now.

And, oh goodness- Izuku looked like he needed 7 cups of dark bitter coffee (ew) right this instant- he had dark circles that actually kind of suited him, but deeply hurt Katsuki's heart somewhere.

'He didn't have dark circles at all before. He looks like our sorry ass of a teacher...'

Izuku grew a little taller, just a little- but Katsuki felt like he'd miss so much, so his eyes got slightly wet.

Katsuki thought Izuku was dead. He thought Izuku killed himself.

Izuku's alive.

❝Just take a swan dive off a roof, and hope for a quirk in your next life.❞

Katsuki recoiled. 'Is this really Izuku? What if I'm imagining things. Is Izuku a rare name? No? What if Izuku's already dead? What will mom think?'

His eyes expanded and shook, is Izuku really alive? Is this all a dream? It has to be a dream.

"Hey, are you okay? Do you need to go to recovery girl?" Izuku? Not Izuku? Who? gives a lip-tight smile, looking somewhat concerned.

This boy...can't be Izuku...?

No, Izuku laughs a lot, and his freckles stretch when he smiles, and he has fat red cheeks and honey green eyes.

Vivid honey green eyes stare at him in concern. Bright green eyes justlikeIzuku and concerned jsutlikeIzuku and ohgodhewasgonnapuke.

"I-I-you-why-how-? W-wh!?"

"...Okay, calm down, Bakugo-san. You're starting to have a panic attack; do you mind if I hold your hands to help?" Izuku stepped closer.

'He's calling me Bakugo. He's not calling me Kachaan. thisisn'tIzukuitisn't itcan'tbe-'

Suddenly, Katsuki felt his body tremble severely against his will, his body felt like it would fall to the ground and morph into nothing, and it was getting harder to brea-

Izuku immediately stepped back, but Katsuki couldn't see or hear what the greenette was saying because his vision was blurring, his ears felt like he was on a airplane and his tongue felt like it was being pulled from the inside of his throat-

A hand grabbed his hand, and suddenly Katsuki felt a heartbeat- the movement of someone's breathing, a deep breath-

"..................follow my breathing, okay? Feel my heartbeat, focus on it, focus on nothing else." ...Izuku's voice. This was...Izuku's heartbeat.

The heartbeat sounded familiar, soothing, but very distant, something that Katsuki had heard in his childhood, maybe when he and Izuku had sleepovers or played doctors-

[Izuku was alive, in front of him.]

"...I-I'm fine. I'm fine-" Katsuki started, but before he could continue, Izuku snatched his hand away and smiled, "great! Now go to recovery girl, then class-"

"...Wait!"

Izuku stopped in his steps and looked back at him again, but Katsuki could see the way that the greenette was digging his nails into his pants, he could see the way Izuku wanted to get away.

'...Before you go, Izuku......I need...to apologize!

Even since auntie has passed, I'd felt a sense of responsibility for Izuku.' Katsuki gritted his teeth, looking down. 'Mom was also struggling with the loss; she didn't even leave her room for a month.

Of course, old hag still came out occasionally at night, to maybe go to the toilet or eat a banana or something. Sometimes, if I creaked my door open quietly, I could see her looking out the kitchen window, silently crying.

"...Inko" Mitsuki sighed heavily, silent tears running down her dull red eyes, "did I break our promise? I haven't visited Izuku in almost a month." Her shoulders shook heavily, "Why did you leave him? Why did you leave me?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I should've believed you when you said something was gonna happen. I should've believed you. I'm sorry, Inko."

"Izuku...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't take care of you. How could I? I can barely take care of myself. I'm sorry I broke my promise. I'm sorry Inko. I'm sorry. I'm sorry" Eventually, she would faint in the kitchen, still letting out apologies and tears in her uncomfortable sleep.

Old man would carry her back to their room, and she wouldn't wake up until in the middle of the night, and repeat.

Mom speaking like that. It really...hurt me.

But it made me more angry than hurt, that she abandoned Izuku like that. She left him in a orphanage.

When I went to that useless school, Izuku's seat would be empty. No one pointed it out, but my eyes would unconsciously tilt towards it occasionally.

She said sorry again and again and again. She felt guilty again and again and again, but she would never act on that guilt. She just cried and apologized. I don't know what promise she made with Auntie, but it was clearly about Izuku. So why couldn't she just...keep her promise?

"Ha! Kachwaan, let's be friends forever until we're as old as All Mwight!" A little chubby cheeked Izuku spoke at his big age of three.
"OF COURSE, IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION?! HEHEEHEHE IT'S A PROMISE! AND STOP CALLING ME KACHAAN!" Katsuki laughed loudly, turning his nose up proudly when Izuku looked at him with sparkly eyes.

But really, I was a hypocrite. I've never kept a promise in my life.

On the one single day Izuku came to school, he looked like he'd been crying for ages straight. Nobody bothered him cause of this, but it looked like he was upset to be treated like something fragile.

He ran away the next day, and a wave of regret hit my entire family.

Mom finally left the room, snapping out of her pity party, she tried searching for Izuku everywhere, but it was too late. She'd officially broken her promise, whatever it was.

He was just...gone. Like he disappeared into thin air. .... I thought that...he killed himself somehow.

It bothered me so much. At this time, I remembered his eyes on the single day he came to school. Eyes of hatred and so many emotions I couldn't recognize, but they looked dull even with emotions glowing high.

That was when I realized...that look in his eyes – the look he's always had! – it was...never a belittling look, was it? Rather, a gaze of worry...

I'm so dumb. I'm so, so dumb. I did all of this because of just a simple gaze that I misunderstood.

I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

Damn it, Izuku...'

...

"Izuku...I-"

'No matter what I did...that look in your eyes didn't change. Why...Why were you always there for me?'

Katsuki bowed low.

'So, this time...I'll be the one there for you, I promise. I'll fulfil my mother's promise. This time...I'll follow through my own promise.'

"I'm sorry."

Izuku froze.