Mateo

I slept soundly for the first night in a long time. I had stood at my door and watched Ashlyn leave until I couldn't see her anymore. The protector in me hated that I couldn't walk her home, but she was in a hurry and it would have taken her at least three times as long to make the walk with me by her side. It's because if that, today I woke up early and increased my exercise routine. I'm going to get this leg back to normal so I can walk her home.

I open the door to physical therapy and immediately find myself scanning the room for her. I find her leaned over Levi again and I want to walk over and kiss her stupid right in front of him. It's going to be fucking torture to watch her help him when I know that guy only enjoys PT for the show she doesn't know she puts on. As I stretch, I can hear her laugh. It's interesting that I even like the sound of it as much as I do. A lot of girls I've been around try too hard and their laugh is forced, not light and flirty like hers.

I'm pushing myself hard, not that I wasn't before last night, but now I see there's a reason outside of my own selfishness to get better. I want to be worthy of her and to do that; I need to be the best I can. I take a short rest in between sets and she brings Levi over to help get him set up on a machine next to mine. She gives me a small wave and I smile back. I'm not her client, but I don't know if she's allowed to have any romantic relationships outside these doors with clients of this place.

"OK," she tells Levi, "Three sets of twenty this time."

"Sure thing," he answers. His eyes stay trained on her as she sets up the machine. I can't watch it so I turn my head away and press up to begin my set. "I'll be right back, Levi. I'm going to get another patient set up. You've got this, right?" He nods his head and starts his set. We both work in the quiet for a few minutes. The only sound is the clanking of metal as the weights tap each other.

"She makes coming here worth it," he finally says, turning his head in her direction. CLANK. My weights slam together as I release the resistance a bit too quickly. "She seems real young to be a therapist." I've known Levi for a while. We've been training here for months now and I've never had any problem with him before. I try to remind myself he doesn't know about us. No one does. Fuck, I don't even know about us. What the hell are we doing?

"You think she has a boyfriend?" he asks. Levi is older than I am probably by a few years. He's too old for her. Even if he's not, it's just not happening.

"Probably. She's too pretty not to," I answer as casually as possible.

"Maybe she's keeping her options open," he waggles his brows and I want to punch in in his mouth. "I'll ask her."

I rest my hands on my knees and stare at the wall. If I get up and walk away right now it will be awkward, but I'm not so sure I want to hear her answer or hear what Levi is going to ask in return. She's not mine, I get that, but I don't want her to be anyone else's either.

"How's it going?" she asks him when she returns.

"Good. A little sore but getting better." I chance a glance in her direction and catch her looking at me. She turns her eyes to Levi again when he asks, "Do you have a boyfriend? I know you don't have a husband. No ring." He's pretty proud of himself for that one. I shake my head and start my next set.

"No. I'm single. I don't really have a lot of time to date." She watches him to make sure he's using the right form. I feel the heat of anger in my chest for no good reason. What did I think she was going to do? Tell him we messed around and were planning on doing it again?

"Dating isn't a chore when you're doing it right," Levi informs her. "Maybe just grab a drink or something sometime." He's working his way up to asking her out and now my pulse is hammering away. I feel my teeth grit together and my jaw tighten as I lift the weights and try to ignore their conversation.

"I go out," she laughs. "I just don't have anyone I'm serious about right now." Now you can add panic to the mix. Anyone she's serious about? Does that mean there are other men? I didn't really ask that before we practically mauled each other last night. Dammit. She rests her hand lightly on his knee, adjusting his position slightly and then moves to get his attention off her. "What about you? You have a girl you're seeing?"

"Nope. I'm a free man myself." His answer makes me roll my eyes even though I know it's childish. I let the weights clink together again and then sit up, carefully stepping off the machine in an effort to get away from their conversation before I get really pissed. She's done nothing wrong. I didn't ask her to be exclusive and she didn't ask me to be either. We never even talked about dating so really the only thing I can do is hope she wants to have more fun together and take what I can get.

I set the weights up on the next machine and sit down. My head is spinning and to be honest, I feel a bit nauseas over the whole thing. If I wanted to have a talk with her about it, it should have happened before we hooked up. Now anything I say might freak her out. It might make her think I'm coming on too strong, too fast. I close my eyes and breathe out slowly. I need to call Lucas later, or maybe Liam. The two of them have been great at helping me get my head out of my ass and back into getting better. They also both happen to know a thing or two about women.

My knee is feeling better, but not where I want it to be. I've kept it iced and was meticulous with the stretches the doctor showed me and now all I can do is wait for time to heal it. I scratch at my beard and run a hand through my shaggy hair. I barely even recognize myself anymore. I turn my attention back to the machine and slide a pin out so I can adjust it to my height. I smell her before I see her at my side. It's the crisp smell of apples again and I find my lips curling up before I even move my eyes in her direction.

"How's your knee doing today?" she asks softly. I lean back on the bench and turn my head so I can see her. She's perched n the machine next to mine, her bright smile perfectly in place. I want to kiss it. I want to so bad I feel myself leaning closer, but it can't happen here. Her eyes dart up in my therapist's direction. Jane is good at what she does, but they have too many people assigned to her caseload. She teaches us and then sets us up to work independently. It works for me, but sometimes I worry about the younger guys with worse injuries. It's fucking hard to pick yourself back up—literally. She should be around more for them.

"It's been better."

"Let me show you something," she says, leaning over me and fuck if my whole body doesn't zip back to life. I have to grip the plastic beneath me so I don't grab her. It would be so easy to touch her face and pull her lips to mine, but then we'd be in big trouble. Instead I just let her adjust my ankle and run her hand up my calf. She watches me and I feel so fucking crazy because I can't tell if she's really trying to help me or if she just wants to touch me and I'm really fucking hoping it's the latter.

"You're leg should be lined up like this," she says the words as she moves her hand up my leg and I'm powerless to do anything but watch. Her hand tucks into my pocket quickly and then she stands back. "I think you've got it now." What the fuck?

"Seriously?" I ask. She just shrugs and gives me that smile that makes me stupid. I can't think of words or movements...nothing but smiling back. I watch her leave, her perfect ass encased in the stretch fabric. I have no idea what that just was. I press my legs for the beginning of the set and feel a new sensation in my thigh. I slip my hand into my pocket and feel a piece of paper. That sneaky girl. I want to read it immediately but I can't without it looking totally random and having everyone watching me unfold it. So I'm left to finish my session full of anticipation.

Ashlyn doesn't say another thing to me for the rest of the time I'm there. We catch each other's eyes a few more times, but not even so much as a smile is exchanged. I hate it and love it all at once. Something about the sneaking makes it so much more exciting, but then I remember that no one will know she's off limits if no one knows she's mine. Then I remember she's not really mine either.

By the time my session is over I practically burst through the doors so I can read the note. I pull it out of my pocket on the front steps and unfold it like it holds all the answers to every test I'll ever have to take.

Saw you walking this morning on my way in. You made me proud.....and hot. Like I want to hug you for the effort and then kiss and touch you until we can't breathe. Call me later. You know if you want your hug....or whatever.

She included her number and a smiley face. It makes me laugh. Maybe I should take the high road and tell her making her proud does this funny thing to my heart. It makes it grow and swell with pride of my own. I should tell her I that I'm a good guy and I'd really like the hug she offered.

Instead my excitement and relief get the best of me and I text her:

Hey sunshine. I'd like to cash in on that "whatever." 

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