I don't know how I hear her before Jungkook does. But I do. The shuffling of her shoes on concrete leave little room for imagination. I don't know what takes over me, how I'm able to move as fast as I do. Jungkook's lesson on how to fire a pistol seems to have been absorbed into my mind.

By the time Jungkook turns, my pistol is already raised, safety off. I level it toward the girl. I recognize her as the girl in denim, the one the reckless man attacked at the banquet.

She fires. Misses.

Jungkook swears, raising his weapon as well.

But miraculously, I'm faster. I fire.

Time suspends in the moment between the bullet leaving my weapon and the bullet finding its way into the girl's chest. When she collapses, it's almost an out-of-body experience. I am the girl. The girl is me. We are both bleeding on the concrete between two apartment buildings.

My first thought is my mother's horrified face. What would she think of me now? Her daughter is a murderer. Zion and my father join my imagination. I wonder what the opposite of proud would be. Maybe dismayed.

My knees hit the ground, and I'm shaking. Jungkook follows me, placing his hands on my shoulders. He levels his gaze with mine. "What's wrong?" he asks. "Are you hurt?"

I shake my head, trying to will my body to stop panicking. But I can't help but think of the girl's family. Maybe she has a little brother too, a reason why she entered the games. She could just have wanted to provide for her family or pay back a debt. When she raised her gun toward us, I could tell that she was hesitant. I took advantage of that.

"I'm fine," I say, "I'm fine."

I've dropped the gun that was in my hands. In my shock, I didn't even hear it clatter. I didn't know what I was expecting. I entered League of Fame. And that means that I'd be put in a situation where I'd have to kill someone. Maybe I was relying on running away, surviving to the point where I didn't have to use violence. But imagining Jungkook getting shot... somehow that made me move faster than I would for myself.

"She's dead," I say, not able to lift my gaze to where the blood is surely pooling around the girl. I don't even know her name, how I should mourn for her if I could.

"You're okay," Jungkook says, stooping in front of me so I won't have to face the reality of what I've just done.

You're okay. I wonder if he's telling me that it was okay to fire. I close my eyes, feeling the pain spread through my chest like I was the person who was shot.

"Thank you," Jungkook says. "You saved me."

I shake my head, spending all my efforts just to continue breathing. No wonder I ran all those times on the outskirts. I didn't have it in me to fight. And I was unconsciously willing myself to stay that way, for my hands to remain clean.

"I killed someone," I say. Because it doesn't feel real at all, I say it again. "I killed someone."

"It wasn't a choice," Jungkook says. When my blurry eyes focus, I see the intensity of his dark eyes, how he's willing me to stay with him. "You had to do it. It's the nature of the competition."

It may be the nature of League of Fame, but I still wasn't prepared. The power that left my hands was unnatural. The girl's eyes, widened in shock, will forever live in my memory.

I don't know how long I stay on the ground, whether it's seconds, minutes, or an hour. All I know is that Jungkook stays with me. All I see is his face, staring at me and willing me to stay with him. So even though I sway and the ground feels like it's rocking me back and forth, I continue to nod at his questions. I grit my teeth and stay strong. I hold onto the illusion that I'm still innocent. That shooting her wasn't a choice.

Even though it was entirely me who pulled the trigger, who willed her to die. So the nameless girl—who someone could mistake for me in the uniform—becomes a part of me. Her death is in my history. I will never forget it. I can already picture the nightmares to come, joined by the others who will also die by my hands.

Why? I hear her plea even above Jungkook's whispers. Why did I have to die? Why was my life ended so abruptly, like I don't even matter to the earth, to God if he exists?

Jungkook, I think you're wrong. God doesn't exist, not in this world.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please vote and leave a comment telling me what you think so far.