A WEEK after he woke up, he only talked once, and begged his friends not to tell a single soul about him being hospitalized. He wants to vanished from them for a while. Mikael got angry because of his selfishness, lalo na at hindi maganda ang huling pagkikita nilang dalawa ni Ezecquiel, he pulled a stunt that Eze hates the most. But with the help of Esel, Mikael calmed down and agreed to his decision eventually.

Ang bantay niya sa hospital ay ang mga kasamahan ni Ryker sa trabaho, though they're switching every now and then, palagi ring umaalis si Ryker but he kept his mouth shut and didn't bother to asked. He was playing the stress ball in his hand, habang nakatingin lang sa labas, his mind was wandering somewhere else, thinking about the dream again and again. His nightmare was finally complete.

He finally remembered the past he ignored for years.

Nang ma discharge siya, he stayed in Ryker's house. Everyday, they kept on talking how demon he was when he took Shen. He appreciated that Ryker stayed silent and didn't say anything, para lang maibsan ang bigat sa dibdib niya. Maliban nalang kung may araw na kailangan umalis ni Ryker. Everyday was a torture for him. Locking himself inside the room. Banging his head on the wall. Wanting to cut his wrist but there's no knife or any sharp objects around him.

Esel came but didn't punch him, nor kill him. He said the same thing as Ryker. He won't judge him and lay even just one finger on to him. Esel also said that what's he's doing was enough for him. Alistair offered a liquor. Among his friends, si Jyrelle lang ang may matinong offer sa kanya. And that was to consult and have a one on one session with his father.

"Nagsasawa na ako na makita kang may bandage sa ulo." Jyrelle hissed as he cleansed his wounds. "Gusto mo bang bumalik sa hospital?" He asked and he just shake his head like a kid.

He doesn't want to talk.

Days passed like a blur and the therapy with Jyrelle's father started, he's a grown up man but he's shy whenever he'll face him. Unlike his father, Jyrelle's father was strict, hindi lang halata sa mukha nito. Tho, Kade was thankful that his strict aura help him a lot in some ways.

Session with Jyrelle's father. Talking to Ryker about what he did. His friends visiting and teasing him. It becomes a routine for Kade.

"I'm glad, hindi ka umiinom. Hindi katulad ng isa diyan, pati pagligo sa amin inaasa!" Pagpaparinig ni Castiel kay Ranger.

"He's still suicidal." Esel point him out and then he turned it to Ranger. "They're both suicidal." Pagtatama niya.

"I couldn't agree more." Mikael sighed and received a heavy punch from Esel.

"Isa ka rin naman!" Esel hissed.

"Good thing, kasal na kami ni Rion bago ka nabaliw." Yves uttered while typing on his phone. He rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Oh? Bakit ako na naman?" Ranger asked when he noticed all eyes were darted on to him.

"Bakit hindi ikaw? E sakit ka sa ulo tarantado ka!" Alistair answered.

"I want to punch him that time." Dylan commented and sipped on his juice.

"I want to strangle him. Hindi ako naka score sa misis ko noong kasal namin!" Pagrereklamo ni Killian.

"Kasalanan ba namin na tsismoso ka?" Jyrelle asked sarcastically.

Kade smiled when he remembered that day, imbes na si Ranger ang malasing, nauna pa siyang natumba. He forgot the reason tho.

Hindi alam ni Kade kung paano siya tumagal sa isang bahay na paulit ulit lang ang routine niya. But one thing for sure, he can feel that he's slowly, slowly getting better and started to forgive himself. But, it doesn't mean that he forgot his actions. He'll take it as a lesson and promised to himself that he will not repeat the same mistake he did. The only thing that he needed to do now was to talk to Shen and begged her again for forgiveness. He'll ask for it again and again.

Kade open the window and saw his motorcycle, he smiled when he saw it in a good condition, malamang ay pinapalinis at ginagamit 'yon ni Ryker para hindi ma stuck. He gripped the handle of his mug, fighting the urge to ride it once again. The last time he straddle his motorcycle, muntik na siyang umuwi.

"Want to ride?" Cj asked and wiggled her brows. "Ako mag d-drive syempre!" Agad na sabi nito.

"Marunong ka?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

Mayabang itong ngumisi sa kanya at pinagkrus ang mga braso sa dibdib nito. "Of course! Ako lang 'to,"

Kade shook his head when Cj playfully brushed her shoulder. He glanced at his motorcycle and nod his head. Ipinakita sa kanya ni Cj ang susi ng motor niya at inabot sa kanya ang isang helmet, Ryker was nowhere to be found, either he must be busy with his job or he's inside the lust community to hide. It was and always their safe place.

"Aren't you bored? It's been a month, no, months?" Kunot na kunot ang noo ni Cj habang nagtatanong. Then she raised her hand and shake her head. "Baka hindi rin ano? Masaya ba na ipukpok ang ulo mo araw araw?" She mockingly asked and gently brushed his hair up. Showing his forehead and his scar.

"Try mo." He answered smiling. But, his smile immediately faded when he remembered Shen.

Kung makikita lang nito ang ginawa ni Cj sa kanya. Panigurado na magseselos na naman ito.

"Si Ryker nalang siguro..." Cj answered and walked out. Nauna itong lumabas sa kanya.

Kinalma ni Kade ang sarili niya at sumunod kay Cj. He kept his hand to himself and didn't bother to hold Cj's shoulders, she drives smoothly, which relaxed him a bit. Inilibot lang siya ni Cj sa buong lugar, the place was so relaxing, puro puno ang makikita, no wonder Ryker choose this area.

Nang matapos sila, sakto na nasa bahay na rin ang Daddy ni Jyrelle. Cj tapped his shoulder and says she'll going to prepare a snack for them. The session started as usual, Jyrelle's father kept on asking how's he, if he's still having the urge to hit his head on the wall or any suicidal thoughts, and his answer was different from before. He's now calm. His mind was in a good condition.

"That's good to hear. I still want to see you after this one, to make sure you're fine. I don't do physical beating, but, if you want want. Feel free to ask me," Jyrelle's father smiled at him mischievously.

"I heard you hit Jyrelle one time, Doc." Aniya.

"It was his fault, he pissed me off." Umiiling na sagot nito sa kanya. "Your father must be worried, go home, son." Jyrelle's father stood up and tapped his shoulder before leaving him alone.

Kade kept on asking himself if he's ready to go back, to go home, and that's mean to see Shen. Huminga siya ng malalim at isinandal ang ulo sa sofa. Hindi siya nagpaalam sa Daddy niya, he forgot that his old man cares for him must be looking for him. He called Ryker immediately and asked if he can go home.

"Edi umuwi ka. Anak ba kita? Bakit ka nagpapaalam?" Ryker irritatedly answered.

He chuckled and shake his head. Si Yves ang sumundo sa kanya sa hide out slash bahay ni Ryker. Kabado siya sa buong biyahe at hindi namalayan na nakatulog. When he woke up, they're already in front of his father's company. His first stop.

"I'll wait for you here." Yves said and he just nodded.

The guards greeted him and he did the same thing, parang nakakita ng multo ang mga empleyado habang sinusundan siya ng tingin at ang iba naman ay mukhang nakahinga ng maluwag nang makita siya. Sumabay si Kade sa mga empleyado na sumakay sa elevator, and he got the same reaction.

He fixed the sleeve of his top and step outside the elevator. Pagod ang mga mukha ng mga empleyado nila, lalo na ang sekretarya ng Daddy niya.

"Bakit nakatayo ka lang diyan?" He asked with curiosity.

Nabitawan nito ang hawak na tasang may lamang kape at napaluhod nang makita siya. Halata sa mukha nito ang ginhawa. He jumped off a little when he heard his father's voice thundered from the inside of his office.

"I'm sorry," Kade sincerely apologise before entering his father's office.

There, Kade saw his father. His face sunk, halata sa suot nito na malaki ang ipiniyat nito, unlike him, his friends made sure he's healthy. Seeing his father like this, hindi maiwasan ni Kade na mag-alala kay Shen.

"Dad..." He uttered and walked towards him. Shaking his father's shoulder a bit.

Bumabagsak na ang ulo nito dahil sa antok. The last time he saw him like this was the day when his mother, his father's dear wife, passed away, habang siya ay kalalabas lang noon sa hospital.

"Dad... Daddy, I'm home..." He whispered as he wrapped his arms around his father, almost hugging him.

Mariin na ipinikit ni Kade ang mga mata niya. In order for him to be okay, he becomes selfish and forgot about his only family. His father.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Dad. I'm home now..." Paulit ulit na sabi niya habang niyugyog ang katawan ng Daddy niya.

A tear fell down from his eyes when his father slowly lift his head, his eyes were also full of tears, the happiness was drawn on to his father's eyes.

"Kade... Is that really you? I thought I lost you too, son. I couldn't find you... Where have you been?" His father asked, in a forced whisper.

Nanikip ang dibdib ni Kade habang nakatingin sa Daddy niya na umiiyak at pahigpit ng pahigpit ang hawak sa kanya. The demon inside him has won once again. Nakasakit na naman siya ng taong malapit sa kanya.

"Im so sorry, Dad." He apologized again.

"As long as you're alive, Kalvin... As long as you're alive... You're forgiven, son."

Natigilan si Kade nang bumagsak sa kanya ang bigat ng Daddy niya. He passed out.

"Call an ambulance!!" He shouted.

Pumasok ang ibang empleyado sa loob ng opisuna at tinulungan siya na ilipat sa wheel chair ang daddy niya. Caleb's hospital was near, kaya agad din na nakarating ang ambulansya.

Pagod, nalipasan ng gutom at puyat ang dahilan kung bakit nawalan ng malay ang Daddy niya. He's also eating unhealthy foods these past months. Kade can't help but to hired a nutritionist for his father, pero nag presinta si Yves na ito na ang bahala sa magiging pagkain ng Daddy niya. Yves says he just need a copy of what's good and bad for his father's health.

"Rest well, Dad. Ako na muna ang bahala sa negosyo natin." He whispered.

Lumingon siya kay Yves at nahihiyang nagkamot sa batok. He's been following him around, simula noong sunduin siya nito. Buntis pa naman ang asawa nito.

"Bud, if it's not too much to ask..."

Mabilis na tumayo si Yves at pinaikot ang susi ng sasakyan nito sa daliri. "Come on, ihahatid na kita sa inyo. I'm sure your woman is waiting..." Yves said, pahina ng pahina ang boses nito na hindi na narinig ni Kade ang huling sinabi nito.

He didn't bother to ask. Bigla siyang nakaramdam ng pagod. Nakapit ang mga mata niya hanggang sa makarating sila sa bahay nila, tumawag siya kanina kay Nanay Lorena para ipahanda ang mga gamit ng Daddy niya. He wasn't surprised when he saw them all waiting for him outside their house. Except for one person. Shen.

"Jusko kang bata ka! Saan ka ba nagsusuot? Alalang alala kami sayo! Lalo na ang Daddy mo! Halos hindi na nga 'yon umuwi rito sa bahay!" Nanay Lorena lamented and hugged him tightly.

"Pasensya na po kayo," nahihiyang sabi niya.

Pinakawalan din siya ng mga ito at hinayaan na pumasok sa loob ng bahay. He missed his room. Kade smiled a bit and whispered 'I'm home' when he saw his mother's portrait.

His heart was pounding loudly inside his chest as he held his room door knob. Kade throw a glance at Shen's room, she must be tired and resting, he'll talk to her once everything was back to normal.

His eyes widened, as his heart skipped a beat, his breathing stop for a second after seeing her lazily lying on his own bed. Hugging his pillow and smelling it.

He wanted to smile and walk towards her and lay beside her. But, due to his messy head, thinking how to pursue the woman he's eyeing for since he was a boy, iba ang lumabas sa bibig niya.

"What are you doing here?"

Again , Kade wanted to bang his head on the wall.

☕