The artificial air of a June noon seemed the kind that makes one love life and all things under the beautiful clear sky. But unfortunately, I was experiencing the opposite of life and probably a secluded hell of my own as I sat in Colorado's office whilst he explained something that was not official or business like, just his personal perspective on matters.

I signed the papers, all of them 20 minutes ago even though the devil on my shoulder was urging me not to. I would not since the reason behind not signing the Alimony sheets were very childish. But something inside of myself snapped at the brisk moment when I saw her name on the form.

Then the epiphany rolled down on me like a landslide.

" Something has to change. Whatever it is, it has to change. "

I did not say more than I need to but sweated in my blue shirt and oxford shoes as I read the fine print for a mere 5 minute or so. Then I wasted no more than a few, inking the blank spaces with my jazzed signature.

Colorado was just doing his best since he felt the obligation to do so, being a co worker and all. But it just provided a migraine on the cusp of my eye brow when his soothing voice which was not calming but had the gruff of old age in it, started to send some suggestions about life to me.

" Graham. " He said and I soaked the shriek of annoyance in my socks,

" It might be better, you know. If you don't. . . .see someone for now. "

My eyes were fixed on the chink of opening in his window, just over the top of his head. And I was imagining exactly where my wife, pardon me, my ex-wife was in this hard, fast, knocked city and how she felt about it.

" Because, you won't believe me when I say this, but sometimes divorce is not the answer.

It is sometimes, for some couples. . . . but there's a number of times when he or she decided that they were better of together. . . . than alone. "

I nodded at the thin line of sunshine and cast a long look at my wrist watch to create the idea in him that, I was late for a meeting that happened to be pushing my luncheon.

Like everyone, he sighed and let me go forth to my personal demise I cautiously told no one about.

I was just about out of the door and I could not shake of the wind of change that blew like a nonchalant breeze over everything.

It was gone. All of everything of past four years, were just a reminiscence in paper and in distant memories. I stepped out, with my elbows supporting me on the reception desk and understood that if I did not change like everything was in a rapid speed, soon I shall perish from life.

I would walk around in the bag of bones and meat, deprived of a soul or an entity.

The lounge was empty as it was in every 1 o'clock of a Thursday afternoon, in a divorce attorney's practice. There was no doubtful husbands on the couch. no lawyers or bankers shackled by time and constantly checking their wrist watches.

And no tear stricken women, who once were happy wives but now just a colorless mind, trying their best not to cry and show their heavy eyes. Their heavy eyes, the evidence of their constant tearfall.

Then she appeared in the image out of nowhere.

I would not recognize her for the attire she was in. The formal office jacket was happily protecting the fluff shirt which let the collar die down just past the collarbones. The clicks of shoes were the usual sound everyone on this office ecosystem made so much that it had become a thing no one really noticed.

But her unscheduled stop on the edge of the office where the notebook, the familiar relic she carried materialized in her hand and my dull, coarse soul knew exactly of her intentions and her presence in such a place of our wretched life.

I quickly threw a glance at the bystanders and emerged a happy tune to find no one there who could turn into a witness and a mother of gossip.

" What are you doing here? " I booted the sense of formality in one swift motion from my mind as my aggressive, unhindered pose blocked the doorway as she looked up in a startled manner.

" Oh. .  ! " She gasped and the momentary survival smile that was capable of fooling strangers emitted from her face like a weapon.

" Mr. Montgomery. " She stuttered and traced my line of sight which was examining the notebook with a primal caution.

" I almost did not see you. . . " She proceeded to elongate the formal facade but the mustered up energy started to frail when my cheekbone stood strong and questioning.

" How's. . . everything? How's. .Jordan doing? " She recounted as the notebook slowly dives from her hand to a slip in her coat pocket.

" It's great. " I snarled and pursued the investigation of a mystery I already know the answer to.

" What are you doing here? " I inquired again and this time held the strong gaze of that did not fail to express my serious impression.

" Oh . . just. . I was just passing by and. . . thought. . . a friend of mine. . . um. . . she works here. If she would want to have lunch with me. "

Her abrupt nature immersed and she had started to retreat back to her shell of lies that worked on everyone.

I was stripped of time to calculate how to bring a confession out of her as the rustle of shoes in Colorado's office, with the voice of his secretary and himself seeped out to us.

She was momentarily distracted by the essence of my awkward behavior and I abused the moment to escape as I pushed myself forward and commandeered her by her elbow.

Her fruity voice ringed in my ear in the most annoying way and I had to endure the pain of it before we were alone in the stationary room.

" Mr. Montgomery ! What is going..on. . . ?! " She revolted and wailed out of my strong hold of her elbow with a thrust.

" You can't be here. " I answered instantly as I realized the fact that even though she looked kind, even the most controlled person in the world would implore themselves to be out of patience if they stay with me for a little while.

" What . . . why? " She requested in a controlled frustration since my answer did not make any sense.

" What are you even doing here? " This time, it did not sound as dumb as I insisted.

" Wha. . . I told you, I am meeting a friend for lunch. "

" No you are not. You are not meeting a friend. "

" Well, how would you know? " She straightened herself forward and knew the fact that morally and logically, she held the high place and I was nothing but a cynical man who behaved inappropriately with women he barely knew.

" Um. . . Jordan said you have been here for not more than a week and a half. You can't get friends in such high places so quickly. "

My statement was true, for me who was successful at driving everyone away but it was false for everyone else. Even though there was logic in my accusation since it was difficult for someone new to already find friends in this bolted workplace.

" Well, what I am doing is my business completely. . . and I don't have to answer to anyone. Especially to you for that matter. "

Her body beat back and the sharply fashioned strands of hair lost a touch during this volatile debate.

" Mr. Montgomery. " She acknowledged me as she held on the ropes of academic gesture when she was about to leave. But she stopped when I spoke.

" You are here to meet, James Colorado, the divorce attorney, aren't you? "

The slight hum of the printer and the electrical wonders where then heard since the air felt in a heavy silence for I have exposed the truth.

I knew it was not my place but it was too late to turn back since the commitment to the cause was already in place. As of then, nothing would be the same.

" Maybe I am. He could be my friend too. " She kept her cool but the fact that she felt the need to answer my question gave away the truth. She was not here to meet with Colorado for anything personal such as talking about the weather or to invite him to a house party.

She was here for the obvious reason.

" But the Cardinal is not your friend. Though you have been talking to him for a couple of hours in the morning. "

My sudden judgement was made blindly, like a shot in the dark but I knew the process in which the world of Divorce attorney went through.

There were a few steps in this game and Cardinal was just the lawyer with whom you would talk to, as if you were talking to your conscious whether you truly wanted to break off the bond of marriage.

After talking with him, a brief discussion that was most painful and humiliating, the next part of the separation came and it came with Colorado.

There would be no turning back when you are done with Colorado since if you are done with Colorado, you either follow through with the divorce or you wake up everyday beside your husband or your wife, thinking of nothing but your guilt.

" You are here for the divorce. Your divorce. "

She would be a great poker player since the curve of her chin had no given up the secret of her mind.

" How. . . how would you know that? "

" Because I read the brown little book you carry around with you. "

I pointed at her waist where the notebook was resting in its hiding place and as there was no embarrassment in my voice, just a rising depressive hue on hers, she did the sensible thing of throwing an angry look and leaving.

She stood petrified for a wind's pass as her hand stayed stuck on the door knob, confused and slightly disturbed by the smell of paper and stationary that lingered around in the air of this peculiar debate.

" You what? " She exclaimed in a worried voice that dispersed the overgrown emotion of surprise with a hint of a sharp violence as I stood there with nothing but embarrassment behind my rationalization.

" You're thinking of getting a divorce, aren't you? " I started once again and the state of the obvious lie put her in the same prospect of mine but she was still standing there in horror of the crime that I had committed.

The realization of the fact that, someone else, someone not her was also aware of the intent, little invasion of privacy exposed her biggest deception and lies.

Her astounded lips wanted to poke me with morality and ethics, especially someone of my profession, belonging to the formal class of society, stooped low enough to go to the distance of reading a stranger's private words.

In my defense, even though I cannot call myself innocent, I was just curious, marginally analytical to know more about her when Jordan escorted her to the study and Percy had left me alone in the living room with nothing but that little brown book sitting lonesomely on the glass table. Like an enchanted object of grave personal mysteries that held the answers.

She finally caught up to what I did when the voices outside clicked onward to the exit. She did not spend any time for me to explain myself as the door hinges screamed out in a conclusive note as she departed from the scene. Leaving me alone in the paper mansion and despite of my ethical espionage, I smirked myself as she missed her opportunity with Colorado since Colorado was already busy with his lunch in some crowded restaurant.

The next part was incidental and like in every private scenario of the past year, it threw me in my comfortable act of being the culprit in the play.

The entity of my guilt was hovering above my head when the elevator dinged to travel me to the ground floor where the reception desk sat slumped in the middle. She had blended in among other suits since the frantic running, quickened walks of secretaries made it hard to see anyone clearly.

But I heard the same strain of her voice whilst trotting past the reception desk, the duped anxiety of anticipation that I heard just minutes ago.

It was clear that she was in search of Colorado but the receptionist's blank face with strong muttering words ended the short lived inquiries as he was not prone to know about the lawyer's whereabouts.

" Oh. Mr. Montgomery. " The call flew over the reception desk and faced no trouble of finding me in the midst of scampering bodies as Fred grabbed my attention.

" Milly called. Um. . . to ask you if you could make it to dinner this Friday? I already sent someone with the message but you don't have an assistant yet. "

I yielded to a sudden halt, not to receive what Fred had intended to say but to the glare of Junith who had once again discovered me and the sour taste that I caused was no doubt, still swelled in her mouth.

She dedicated a frown to me and the clacks of unresolved problems and missed chances were singing along to the beats of her shoes as she haughtily commandeered herself out of the busy lobby.

The immature snicker of my caustic cognizant went away as she did too since the clicks of her uncomfortable shoes sounded like fired bullets of a Gatling gun, plunging in my conscious.

" Mrs. Chambers. Wait. " For all the obvious reasons, my call towards her did not induce anything friendly or responsive as she faltered back only a look.

" Wait. " I finally caught up with her in the sun stroked sidewalk, " Wait a minute. "

The skips of the steps ended me in front of a rented Ford, another proof of her tourist scent in this tight suited, heavily perfumed business world of ours.

" What, Mr. Montgomery? " She turned and even though the great nature of her was doing its very best to hide a disapproving snarl at me, she could not hold back a lower.

She was a woman who's age could usually conceal itself in the indoor light but the astounding rays illuminated her true time on earth. She could not be more than 30 or a bit over or under.

" I'm sure you said enough. " She scoffed and waited for my reply. As there was nothing to say from my end, she ranted on without an invitation.

" I waited long for this meeting. And I don't think I have to explain how difficult this is for me."

" Just. . . please. . let me explain. "

" You already did. " She quipped coldly and I knew, I, someone who was not her friend, not even a well known stranger, just a name and a face she saw a couple of unfortunate times, did the worst atrocities, not only by ceasing the meeting but also the breaching of her penitential.

" You don't want to get a divorce. It sounds so . . simple to get one,doesn't it? "

She lulled a look as her fingers wrapped around the door handle with urgency.

" It sounds easy enough. But it never is. Forget about the money and . .all that. The guilt alone and aftermath of it. . .  it's. "

" So I should listen to you? Who does not know a thing about me? To call my shots and decide what to do or not to? "

" I'm not trying to say that. . I'm saying you should think more about it. "

" It's easy for everyone to judge because after that they don't have to worry about it. . . after that."

" Just don't come to see Colorado. Trust me. . . you don't want him. "

I found myself leaning towards her in a violent manner whilst the voice streaked of a potent tone. The climax in her voice and the residue followed through on her body as her neck swollen then fell with a sigh.

" I took you for a decent man, Mr. Montgomery. Especially being such good friends with Jordan."

She set a strong glance then left me hanging to hear another word as she fiddled with her seat belt.

" I even thought about talking to you about it. "

For a second, I thought my image was being cleared onto a sense and I was becoming the understood who was always misinterpreted.

" But I'm sorry. You are just a mistake of my anticipation. "

She did not even look at me nor waste a worldly moment to say something formal or a farewell of sort even though there was no need but the Ford roared away in the vast every busy background of the city-scape without minding a second for me.

I did not know her, not more than her name and the natural attractive measures of her face which alerted me more than the contours of other women. But there was an untold obligation of understanding that lived on her from me, a believe of sort that she realized a vague prospect of life.

An invisible connection.

And the tingling ache tightened in my soul that began without an announcement, started to grow when she exposed my nature of adverse characteristics.

In the last year, precisely on the past months, I had heard criticism and even on one occasion, things were in place to go out of hands since someone of my wife's family converted to violence or the poor trial of ruckus in a room full of people.

Percy and I made fun of that incident even though Jordan declined to join.

But this was so new, so sharp and the disapproval was something else, similar to breaking a bridge of trust before it had the chance to be built and cherished.

And this forlorn feeling stayed with me for a little while. I thought about it when I was lying under my bed sheets that night, hoping I would forget it by tomorrow and on tomorrow evening, I saw the ghost of myself drifting away in the same thought whilst Junith Chamber's explicit voice kept shunning me in an indifferent tone.