Another beautiful cover made by @mango_days 😊 I love this one! Thank you, sweetie 😘

"And the last group..."

I avert my gaze down when the physics teacher throws me an unequivocally disapproving glance.

"... Mary and Vanessa," he finally announces.

I know it should be Alex and me, but he is absent once again. I don't even dare to turn back to catch sight of the empty seat at the back of the class; it's now been a few days, and it's always the same sour taste in my throat.

"You should take this alone!" Lisa whispers to me, giving me an even more severe look than the teacher.

"I can't. I only have half of the presentation," I mumble.

"And if he never comes? I told you he was not trustworthy," she adds, shaking her head.

I don't even reply. I just grit my teeth, focusing on the notebook before my eyes. I don't need her to remind me what my mind is already battling with, and I don't know if it annoys me because I know she is right or because of the way she judges books by their covers.

So I just block out everything, even my own thoughts for the rest of the hour.

"Elena, can I have a word?" the teacher calls me at the end of the class.

I should have seen this coming, yet my stomach still twists as I walk reluctantly to his desk.

"I think you know what I wanna talk to you about." He offers me a compassionate smile, and that's maybe even worst than a severe scolding.

So I just nod, looking down.

"I already gave you and Alex extra time, but now you're the last pair, and the deadline to turn the grades is on Monday. So if Alex doesn't show up by then, you will have to take the oral alone." He sighs. "And if he doesn't take this exam, I can't write him the recommendation letters you've asked me."

"I understand," I reply, biting my lip.

"Do you know why he is skipping this exam?"

"No, I've tried to talk to him, but... he – it's complicated," I stutter, the lump in my throat not helping me form words.

'Complicated' is an understatement. It's not even the right word; 'incomprehensible' would be a better word. We've never really pooled our works; Alex has kept postponing it, and now, he is just avoiding me. I've tried calling him, texting him, and talking to him any chance I've got, but he is doing a pretty good job at dodging me. I don't even know why he is doing it. He loves sciences, and we've worked really hard on this project, yet it's like he can't even stand to breathe the same air as me. He is sabotaging himself without even knowing it because the worst is that despite how badly he has wrecked my heart, I've still asked our physics teacher to write recommendation letters for him. I couldn't bear to know he's had to give up his dream.

Any sane person would say that I'm crazy to still care for someone who has hurt me so much, like fueling a fire when I'm already third-degree burnt. But I guess he wrecks my sanity, and the only fathomable reason is that I still love him with every fiber of my being.

"I'm sure you can convince him," the physics teacher adds, the wrinkles around his eyes lifting up to give me an encouraging expression.

I wince doubtfully. "I'll try talking to him again."

"You know, I didn't put you two in group accidentally."

This makes me jerk my head up abruptly as flashes of the day we've been paired flood my memory. I remember too well the unbearable suspense of the teacher's hesitation, and then the mixed feelings of working with Alex. Well, it looks like not much has changed; Alex still leaves me confused with too many contradictions inside my chest.

"You seem to bring out the best in each other: you're more open and confident, and Alex was more... serious when he was with you."

I'm left speechless, the blood rushing to my cheeks being the only thing moving in my body. This is not something I would have expected to hear from the mouth of a teacher when most people are saying that Alex is a bad influence.

"The connection you are sharing," he continues as he sees that I have no reaction – well at least on the outside because inside my thoughts are spiraling. "I think I've only seen it once or twice in my 30 years of career." He smiles knowingly.

My hopeless heart leaps in hope once more. This connection he is talking about, I definitely feel it, this pull, this attraction drawing me irresistibly to Alex, yet Alex doesn't seem to share this feeling.

"I'll try talking to him," I repeat, too dumbfounded and lost to reply anything else.

***

By the time I arrive home, my thoughts are spiraling out of control, replaying my teacher's words over and over again. The way is wrinkled eyes have sparkled like he's held some secret I have no idea about has left me even more confused.

I've tried calling Alex again without success; I've even asked Josh and Mitchie to talk to him, but Alex can be such a thick head sometimes. Something tells me he won't change his mind. It could be funny how he's been the one to call me stubborn, although maybe he's been right because I don't want to give up yet.

My mind is racing, set on finding a way to make Alex take the oral on Monday, while also trying to make sense of all this. But it seems impossible, and my heart feels so sore, going every which way with mixed feelings as every beat of hope and despair is tiring it out. I'm lost in my thoughts, lost in my feelings, lost in general.

So when my Mom greets me with a twinkle in her eyes, I almost don't notice her.

"There is a letter for you from the publishing house!"

My mind and my body stop all their movements abruptly as my eyes widen at the envelope she is waving in front of me.

"What?!" I grab the envelope, my head spinning.

"I didn't open it, but it looks like the results from the writing contest!" She grins, but it only makes me feel dizzier.

"Mhm..." I faintly nod, my thoughts rushing back in a spiral of blur and questions.

I've never sent the entry. It has been the week after Alex and I have broken up, and I haven't had the heart to do it; actually I've felt like I haven't had a heart at all. I've been crushed, and I've feared that Alex's compliments and encouragements have been just another 'sugarcoating', so I haven't sent it. Yet I've never had the courage to admit it to my Mom because she's been so proud.

"Come on, open it!" She gives me an encouraging smile, while I just stare at the white rectangle as if it's containing a bomb.

I finally manage to open it with my shaking hands, pulling out another rectangle of paper, but this time covered with typewritten words. My eyes browse the text, but my brain doesn't process one word.

"We are pleased to inform you that your novel won first place!!!" My Mom who has been reading over my shoulder finishes in an excited cry.

She jumps up and down, wrapping her arms around me as I just stand paralyzed.

How could I win?! I haven't sent my entry; that, I'm sure of it. How can it be possible?!

Except for my Mom, only two people know that I write: my literature teacher and...

"No, it can't be possible."

"Yes, it is! I told you you're really talented!" My Mom offers me a big smile. "I'm so proud of you, my little writer." She hugs me tighter.

I don't have the strength to tell her the truth; the lump in my throat is too big to let me speak anyway.

My thoughts are racing a mile a minute, colliding and banging, as my Mom's voice becomes faint and distant. Only some words are making it through and echoing in my mind with the loud thumps of my heart: 'publishing contract', 'meeting in two days', 'scholarship'.

***

I still can't believe it! My story is gonna get published! I'm in a daze; I'm on cloud nine. It feels like flying, but it's real! My dream is coming true. The sensation is surreal; it's like the haze that is wrapping your mind and your heart with your dreams is now materializing in reality to create a sparkling cloud, and I'm flying on it. I still don't really realize, surely because I would have never thought it could be possible just a few days ago.

However, it's not the only reason why I'm stunned. I've just had my meeting with the publisher who has organized the contest, and the most surreal in all of this might be who has sent my entry, because now, I think – no, I know exactly the identity of my secret messenger.

The words of the contest organizers still echo in my head: "Oh, you know that we've almost missed your entry, and it'd have been a shame!... I swear it wasn't here at first, and it's like it's magically appeared on my desk."

In real life, there is no fairy godmother or magical apparitions, but I have a dark knight in shining armor, and when they have shown me my entry form, the handwriting has left me no doubt.

My head is still spinning thinking of the devious ways that might have been used for my letter to end up on that desk, and my heart is still racing thinking how my secret messenger seems to know all of me, given that he has managed to send the novel that I write and keep with me in my little blue notebook, but also excerpts of the 'Silent Voice' articles.

I stare at the entry form in my hands, looking at the well-known slanted handwriting like it's some secret code, and trying to decipher something, anything that could help me find any sense in all of this.

This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Why would he do something like this for 'just another bitch' and especially when he is going through so much trouble to avoid me? It doesn't make sense, yet nothing with Alex seems to make sense. He always leaves me confused. He is my riddle, making my heart burn with mixed feelings and leaving my mind restless with more and more question marks.

I walk guided by my heart to the back of the park, the place where I know I will have some peace and quiet to sort out my thoughts and feelings. Even if this place, imprinted with Alex's mark, reminds me of some painful memories, it always brings me some peace and comfort in an odd way.

The trees are the quiet witnesses of our messed up story, and the flowers are long gone like my happiness, though the little green buds offer me some hope.

But today I'm not alone in this place. Someone is already there.

Who do you think it is? ;)

And what do you think of all of these mixed signals from Alex? Did you expect this with the contest, and the 'Silent Voice'? (I know some of you already guessed! ;) )

I hope you liked this chapter (especially the ones who were a little disappointed with the last chapter). Don't hesitate to let me know what you think in the comments and vote! All of your feedbacks are welcome and helping me better my work! :)

BTW, I just published a one-shot DEAR JERK, in honor of LAW OF ATTRACTION reaching 3.5k reads, so go check it out, it's fun, cute and hot! ;)