'Romeo and Juliet', my fingers slide over the spine of the book, grazing it as if it was made of lava burning me deep inside, and maybe it's even worst. Those rows of books seem to be caging me with memories flooding my mind and searing my aching heart. I can still feel his touch, his lips, his eyes that have made me believe I am capable of anything.

But now, I'm standing alone in this library's alley.

"Hey." I'm startled by the voice that still manages to make me shiver every time.

"Hey," I reply quietly when I turn around and meet these tenebrous eyes haunting my dreams every night, though I haven't seen their light since three months.

"Here the book you needed." Alex hands me a thick book, avoiding my gaze.

Actually, he is avoiding all of me, all the time. If at first, I've tried reaching for him, I don't anymore. The less I see him, the less it is painful, his coldness burning way too much my broken heart.

So now I only catch glimpses of him here and there at school, and our work sessions for the physics project come down to three minutes encounters, at the most, to check in the advancement, otherwise we each work on our own.

"Thanks." Electricity tickles my skin when his fingers brush mine on the book, but like every other sensation I have near him, I ignore it. "When do you need it back?"

"You can keep it. I've finished the fourth part. I don't need it anymore." He shrugs.

"Okay... er... maybe we should pool what we've already done?" I suggest, fiddling with the corners of the book.

The air around us is strained and electric, even after all this time.

"Oh, um... later, before the oral, when we're completely finished."

I don't even point out that the oral is in less than two weeks; it's clear he doesn't want to spend more time with me.

"Okay, so... if there's nothing else... I'll go." My heart constricts in my chest as he just nods.

I throw him one last glance, memorizing all those little details that I already know by heart in just one second: his brown curls that are now growing wilder, his sharp jaw that I now only see tensed, his strong arms wrapped in his famous leather jacket, and his whole dark aura that is drawing me in, no matter how I fight.

So, I walk away, though every muscle in my body is yearning to stay. Each step I take is a superhuman effort, and I move like an automaton, my heart, my mind, well, all of me permeated with him.

It's been three months, and I still don't know how to function properly, how to live, how to be without him. It's like I don't remember who I've been before; it's all a blur before, before Alex.

I'm pulled out of my daze by whistle blows and hollers. I haven't even noticed that I have already arrived at the gymnasium. It should be worrying, but by now, I'm starting to get used to being stunned, knocked out every time I see Alex. That's maybe why it's better to stay away.

I shake his image away from my mind, even though it's imprinted everywhere else, and I focus on what's is in front of me.

I return shyly the wave Moose is giving me, and I sit down in the front row.

He's told me to meet him there after his practice, but they seem to play extra time, so I'll have to wait once more. But I guess it's the role of a good girlfriend, and since I already don't fulfill most of the others, I can make an effort. Besides, Moose has been quite a good boyfriend, well when we hang out together, which is not often because he has a really 'busy schedule', though I won't complain; I'm not really eager to see him.

I close my notebook with a big sigh after about half an hour. I haven't written anything; I can't concentrate. I could blame the whistle blows and the savage cries of the players, but let's be honest, it's not because of them. These days I can't seem to write. Every time I grab my pen, a dark knight always appears through my words.

I throw a glance around, looking for inspiration or at least a distraction, but the empty bleachers and the wide and shiny gymnasium that always gives me nightmares do nothing to fill the void inside me. My gaze gets caught by the only moving things in this scenery: the players, though they are now gathered in front of the board, all immobile. It can only mean one thing: they've finally finished. I let out a sigh of relief; it must be the sweat filling the air, or just my suffocating thoughts, but I really need to get out of here. So I stand up, my legs, and especially my mind, restless.

When I come closer, I can hear they're talking about strategy, and my hope of escaping vanishes as they seem stumped on how to win the next match.

"Why not reinforce the defense on the sides?" I suggest, my quiet voice that I've raised a little brings the silence in the gymnasium.

It's again one of those moments where I wonder why I've opened my mouth – maybe it's just the boredom or the eagerness to finally leave. But I regret it as fast as the heat rushes to my cheeks when they all stare at me with wide eyes, except Moose, whose eyes are shooting daggers for a second before he plasters one of his 'golden' smiles on his face.

"Baby, leave this to the pros. It's complicated. You don't know what you're talking about." He reaches to wrap his arm around my waist, yet I dodge him, his sweat, and mostly his attitude disgusting me.

I can't help but think that Alex would never have belittled me like that, that he would have taken into consideration my suggestion, though to be honest, what do I know? The way he's broken my heart has shown me that I've never really known him.

"Actually, it's a good idea!" Cory, a tall red-haired guy, exclaims, and I must admit that a small voice inside my head wants to boast 'See, I was right' to Moose's face.

But I stay out of it as Moose shoots him daggers too. "It's not the defense that will get us to score points!"

"No, but it can help us not lose more!" Another player steps in.

They all start discussing, if we can call that 'discussing' as it sounds more like loud barks.

"Okay! We will think about it. See you tomorrow!" The coach silences them with a final whistle blow, and Moose goes to the changing room, fulminating, without even sparing me a glance.

His shower seems to have cooled him off though, and now he is all smiles, holding my hand as we're finally exiting the building of my nightmares.

Well, maybe I've spoken too soon because once we're alone, his smile morphs into a scowl.

"Why did you have to embarrass me like that?"

"What are you talking about?" I frown, having an idea about what he is talking, but hoping it's not what I think.

"I'm talking about your little suggestion in front of the whole team."

"And what about it?" I ask, lifting an eyebrow as I feel my nerves starting to fray little by little.

"You can't do that. It's embarrassing for me! You don't know anything about football, so you cannot interrupt a practice like that. You can't do that," he explains calmly as if he was lecturing a little kid.

I stop abruptly. "I can. I CAN do anything." I don't know what's got into me, yet his 'can't' keep resonating in my head like a matchstick getting struck again and again until lighting up the flames of my revolt.

He stares at me as if I had just sprouted a second head.

"I'm capable of anything," I add, quieter, more to myself than to him.

His words seem to not only have woken up my revolt, but they also stirred my common sense, and it all appears clearly.

I take a deep breath. "Listen... Moose, I think we should stop seeing each other."

My words bring him out of his daze. "What?! No! Listen, you didn't understand what I meant... Come on! Just for that?! You can't..."

It's so weird to see him at a loss for words, and for once, I'm the one who doesn't stutter.

"I can. Let's be honest, we don't have anything in common."

"You–"

I don't let him argue. "You're more in love with yourself than you could ever be with me, and I..." I swallow the words I don't want to admit out loud. "I think we're better as friends." I give him a little uneasy smile, not wanting to hurt him.

Even if he isn't the nicest person I know, he doesn't deserve to have his heart broken; no one does. I know too well the excruciating pain. "I'm sorry..." I bite on my lower lip as I don't really know the words to make it better, so I just choose the simplest. "Er... I'll go... Bye."

"Bye," he replies, his wide blue eyes looking more dumbfounded than hurt.

As I turn around and walk away, I realize I feel lighter, as if a weight had been taken off my shoulders. As much as I search for an ounce of heartbreak or regret, I'm not hurt. At first, I've dated Moose only to make Alex jealous, and then, I think I've stayed with him to keep me from running back in Alex's arms, to keep me tied in a sense. But I've never felt anything for him, even the word 'friend' would be too much as we have nothing in common.

Now, I feel empowered and strong to have stood up for myself. I almost feel capable of anything, though there is one thing that I don't know if I'm capable of: staying away from Alex.

***

"Aw!!" Mitchie and I groan in chorus when the doorbell interrupts our Netflix marathon just at the crucial moment.

"Are you expecting someone?" she asks as I pause the TV.

"No." I shrug, searching through my head who would want to see me, but I find no answer.

"This is how all the horror movies are starting!" She winces, pulling the cover over herself.

"Thank you, Mitchie! Thank you, really!" I give her a deadpan stare as she just offers me a big sheepish grin.

Gathering all my courage, I walk prudently through the hallway. The night has fallen without us noticing, as we've been too occupied, and now, the whole house is plunged into darkness.

My parents are not here, so I gotta go see who it is, or maybe I shouldn't? Mitchie's silly comment is really messing me up. It's crazy how a place so familiar can bring you so many chills when you pay attention to all those scary details: the weird crackings of an empty house, the shapeless shadows forming with the night, and the distance from the family room to the front door. But it's not even 8 pm, and we're not in some scary movie, so let's not be a wimp.

Though I'm thinking about running away when I glimpse an imposing silhouette through the opaque glass of the front door, and I jump with the loud sound of the bell ringing again. I've never noticed how sinister our doorbell can sound until now. But the only way to stop it is to open the door, so with my heart thumping in my throat, I take a big breath and grab the handle.

"Josh?!" I breathe when I meet Josh's sheepish grin as soon as the door is open.

"Hi, sorry to interrupt your girls' night, but I need Mitchie's help."

"Yeah, yeah, are you sure it isn't just because you already miss her?" I smirk playfully as I let him in.

"Yeah, that too! But I also really need her help."

She joins us just at this moment, and he quickly wraps his arms around her.

They're so cute. They've been together since the Winter Ball, and they seem both pretty hooked. Josh has given up his player's ways and he is full of attention to her, while Mitchie is beaming.

Even though Alex and I are not together anymore, I've kept seeing Mitchie and Josh. I know it's a little weird, but they're really nice and I've drawn closer to Mitchie; now we're almost best friends. So I'm happy for them, and I can't help but smile at them, even if the emptiness in my heart is echoing louder in moments like those.

"What are you doing here? I've told you it's a girls' night. No boys are allowed!" She hits his chest teasingly.

"AW! Come on! You can make an exception for me!" He grins.

"No!" Mitchie and I both laugh.

"No, but more seriously, I need your great mechanical genius," he adds, his eyebrows pulling together. "I tried the Mustang, but now it won't start, and I need to remove it before Alex comes back, to not spoil the surprise."

They both throw an uneasy glance at me at the mention of Alex's name.

They always try to avoid talking about him when they're around me, since they know how the break up has affected me. I guess everyone knows it; it must be written all over my face.

Maybe hanging out with them is not the best idea, yet everything reminds me of Alex anyway, and Mitchie and Josh are really kind and always cheer me up.

"You should go," I tell Mitchie as she looks hesitantly between Josh and me.

"So... the car is a surprise for Alex?" I ask Josh as we watch Mitchie disappear back in the dark hallway to get her things.

"Yeah, he's always dreamed to have a Mustang."

"Yeah, I know." I smile shyly as memories flood my heart.

"I planned to give it to him for next year, when he would go to college, but his scholarships weren't granted, so I'll give him for his diploma."

"What?! He didn't get a scholarship?!" My voice rises a little, and by the look in Josh's eyes, I can see I'm not really good at hiding my concern. "It's unfair," I add quieter.

Even with how badly he's broken it, my heart can't help but crack a little bit more for him. I know it is his dream, and he has the capacity to pursue great scientific studies; he is capable of so much.

"Are you sure you don't mind that I leave you alone?" Mitchie pulls me out of my sorry thoughts for the one who seems to haunt my mind and my heart all the time.

"No, not at all! You've already kept me company for a good while, and I'm fine! I just broke up, I'm not terminally ill!" I smile, shaking my head.

"Oh! Finally, you broke up with that stupid jock?!" Josh exclaims cheerfully.

"Josh! You could at least pretend to be sorry!" Mitchie gently swats him, and he just shrugs.

"It's okay. He's right!" I laugh. It's crazy how my Mom has had almost the same reaction.

However, what I don't tell anyone is that my heart is still shattered for someone else.

As soon as they're gone, I grab my phone, with my heart beating painfully fast for just a simple task like that. Though it doesn't feel that casual for my shaky fingers as they flip through the pictures. I try to avoid any photo with Alex, my chest constricting just with a glimpse of them, and I stop on the pictures that I've been looking for, pictures that I've taken secretly when I've been in Alex's room once, pages of calculations and diagrams: his researches.

3 months later, Alex is still avoiding Elena, but she's finally broken up with Moose!

She's realizing she's capable of anything, what do think will happen next? ;)

And Mitchie and Josh, what do think? Aren't they too cute? :)

I hope you liked this chapter, if so vote and let me know in the comments :) I LOVE to hear your feedback!

BTW, if you have 5 minutes, go check out my one-shot/short story THE MAN OF HER DREAMS, it's a quick journey in a little dream world ;)