BACK TO ELENA'S POV

I don't hate him. I should with everything he's done to me, everything he's said to me, but I can't. I've tried so hard since yesterday, but I can't. I still love him, and as soon as I pass the school gate, my eyes are searching for him. This dark silhouette seems to be the only light for my puffy eyes and the only mark for my lost mind.

I need to see him. I need to talk to him. I need answers. I need Alex. Everything that has happened yesterday doesn't make sense, though I don't know if anything has ever made sense since I've first crossed his tenebrous gaze. He's blurred all my points of reference; he is like a riddle of science, impossible to comprehend. Yet I need answers; I need some clarity.

I feel like I'm going crazy, replaying every detail of yesterday, every second that I've spent with him since the beginning, and I must be insane because it's like torture, yet I can't stop.

I've tried in vain to call him, to text him, since late in the night when after one of those many tormenting flashbacks, I've come to the conclusion that I can't give up this easily, not after everything we've shared.

I don't see him anywhere. But I keep my determination unfaltering. Unfaltering, in spite of the curious stares and low whispers around me. Unfaltering, in spite of Judy's pitying look as soon as she sees me on the other side of the hallway. Unfaltering, in spite of the placard on my locker saying: 'Queen of the losers', which is probably the work of one of the Queen Bitches, judging by the perfect rose letters. Unfaltering... I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath. Unfaltering, it's so hard when my legs feel like faltering at any second.

"Don't mind them. They're just jealous because you were the hottest girl of the night. Even though..." Judy doesn't finish her sentence, but her look is saying enough.

I guess news travels fast. Besides, it's probably written all over my messed up face with the obvious marks of my sleepless night and hours of crying non-stop, and let's not talk about the nasty cut along my jaw. Her gaze lingers particularly over this zone, yet she doesn't ask anything, which I'm thankful for because I don't want to replay yesterday one more time; the scar in my heart is too fresh.

"I see everyone already knows." I half-smile slightly, the pain and bitterness tensing my lips.

"There are just rumors since he was seen at a bar yesterday with some chicks," she replies quietly, almost apologetically, which is unusual for her because she is always excited and mouthy when she talks about gossips.

I feel like another knife is stabbing my heart or maybe it's just the one which has still been there being twisted in the wound.

The shock and hurt must be written all over my face because her blue eyes widen, and she quickly says, "You didn't know?! Oh my god! I'm sorry!"

I shake my head, trying to shrug it off while my tears are threatening to fall. "No, but it's fine. We broke up yesterday. He can do whatever he wants."

I don't know if I convince her, but I'm not convincing myself. The fact that he's already moving on to another 'bitch' is painfully sour in my heart.

"He's an idiot for letting go a girl like you!" She shakes her head.

I close my locker and take off the white placard, chuckling bitterly. "I am the queen of the idiots for letting him fool me. Everyone warned me."

And the worst is that I've been about to go to him, to fight for a love that has only ever existed in my heart.

Now, all hope is gone. There is only this endless excruciating fire of pain, anger, and despair consuming me.

"You couldn't have known, he seemed really sincere."

I just shrug, unable to talk as all my strength is being employed to keep my tears from escaping.

Judy seems to understand, pulling me into a hug just as my view is becoming misty.

It's gonna be a long day, trying to keep an unfaltering mask with this blaze burning me inside.

***

Finally! I breathe a little inside as I reach my locker to get my things before I can finally end this torturous day. Luckily, it hasn't been as long as planned because some teachers are absent, so I have my afternoon free. Though the hours of this morning have felt like an eternity, each second ticking painfully, as I've prayed to avoid Alex, yet at the same time searched for him everywhere. I haven't seen him once. He's skipped all the classes we've had together, and he seems nowhere to be seen, at least for me. I don't know if I'm thankful for that or if it wrings even more my broken heart.

Anyway, I just want to escape as quickly as possible, my body and my mind tired of fighting to hide the aching fire in my heart. I look at the time and close my locker door. I haven't eaten much, so I still have time, and if I hurry I will get out before the post-lunch rush, and therefore avoid as many people as possible. I've got enough of the side glances and not-so-discreet whispers everywhere around me all morning. I've felt like a wounded deer or maybe a dissected frog that everyone observes and enjoys watching suffer, my wounds opening a little more every time I overhear his name in the murmured conversations.

Speaking of avoiding people... I don't even get to take one step before I'm stopped by a strong chest.

"Hi, Elena."

"Hi, Moose."

I don't even try to hide my annoyance, although he seems totally oblivious of my scowl as he leans closer.

"I heard that you broke up with the gang leader–"

"Yeah, everyone knows it," I reply with a blank stare.

Luckily the tears have finally stopped to fill my eyes, instead turning into fuel to the fire consuming me inside, so Moose can't see how the words are still searing me deeply.

"It's for the better! I told you, you deserve so much better," he keeps talking, but I'm not really listening. I just know he keeps repeating the same old stuff.

When I look at him, I realize everything about him is still the same: the same football team jacket, the same blue eyes putting a mask of concern yet barely hiding the satisfaction bubbling inside, the same perfectly put attitude, and the same words of so-called advice.

But unfortunately for him, I'm not the same anymore, and I'm not in the mood to listen to his monologue like I always do. So having borne enough in the last two days, I'm about to stop his brainwashing and tell him to get lost, when I feel eyes on me, burning my skin and straight to my soul. I don't even need to look to know whom they belong to, my heart recognizing its owner in a painful skip. It's like a spark that stirs up the fire inside my chest, and through the growing flames an idea lights up.

I don't even recognize myself as I lean closer to Moose and put a hand on his chest.

"You're right. You warned me and I didn't listen."

Risking a quick glance in the direction of the pair of eyes piercing through me, I find Alex's ardent eyes fixed on us, and my breath is caught by their intensity as he's staring darkly and unashamedly. My heart once again skips painfully a beat, maybe even more with all the emotions rushing inside: hurt, confusion, anger, and many more I don't recognize. Is it jealousy I see in these tenebrous eyes whose I know by heart almost every shade? Why would he be jealous when I'm not his, when 'there's no us'? I guess he's like all the others; they don't like to share their toys, but if he can move on and forget me and everything we've shared in less than a second, so can I! Who am I kidding?! I can't. I will be haunted by our memories, by him forever.

The spark that has ignited in my chest only grows bitterly inside my chest, and it turns into a new sadistic urge: I want him to suffer as much as I do.

"I'm sorry, I could maybe make it up with a cup of coffee someday... Tomorrow?" I try my best flirty look, well the best I can with my puffy red eyes.

Moose's blue eyes widen, seemingly surprised by my sudden interest, before a smirk appears proudly on his face, and I fake a smile, despite my reason screaming at me that this is a bad idea.

I know this is twisted and wrong, yet I'm too stunned and hurt to think clearly. Moose has appeared like the only solution, and I'm too desperate to go back.

So... What do you think? They seem to both be moving on, but are they really? ;)

Do you think it's a good idea to go out with Moose?

I hope you like this chapter, if so, vote and comment! Your feedbacks are my biggest motivation! :)