I lead the way up the stairs, Pam behind me. As the staircase turns and my bedroom comes into sight at the far end of the hall, I remember how I usually come up the stairs, stop at the top, and look at Kitty downstairs looking at me. That's when I call her and she comes running, beautiful and graceful and eager, up the stairs. She rubs against my legs and then we walk together to our room—sometimes I lead and sometimes she does, but we always come up together. It's our routine.

The second floor landing blurs and I shut my eyes tight, clearing them before I turn around and we all gather at the top of the stairs.

Mom steps up next to me. "Lucy, your room is..."

"This one." Pam stops in front of her room. "I just need a minute to change the sheets."

I am so surprised and relieved I can't think of anything to say.

Mom doesn't skip a beat. "Okay, Lucy, let me just remind you where the washroom is so you can set up all your stuff."

"Sure, that sounds great. Just let me get my bag." Lucy walks over to her duffel bag, which is in the corner against the wall of windows.

I turn to Pam, my back to Mom and Lucy so they can't hear me. "Hey," I say quietly, "how come you're giving her your room? I thought she'd sleep in mine. It's further, for privacy."

Pam shrugs. "This way Lucy can be closer to Mom."

She makes to move past me but I grab her arm. "No, really, why? I mean, I'm really grateful, but why?"

Pam hesitates, then looks at me. "I didn't think you'd want to be away from...Kitty." She looks away and her hair tumbles forward, hiding her face. I follow her gaze across the empty space between this side of the floor and the wall where my room is, the door open, the hallway light shining on my dresser. I know she's looking at the pictures of Kitty my parents ran out and framed after Pam pulled them from my Instagram account.

I miss you, Kitty. My heart fills with love and pain. We all do.

Mom and Lucy come back into the hall. "Alright, girls, I'm going to bring Luke some blankets. Are you guys okay?"

Pam gives Mom a hug. "Yup. Sleep well."

I give Mom a hug too. "Good-night, Lucy."

Lucy smiles. "Good-night, and thank you again for sharing your room."

I think she says this to Pam but when I reach my room, I realize maybe she means both of us—because I am about to share my room.

I pause in the doorway, looking at my bed and the floor. "How do you want to do this?"

Pam folds her arms across her chest. "Uh, I don't know. I could sleep on the floor on the inflatable mattress."

I shake my head. "You know what, no. The bed's a double – let's share. You can't give up your room and the quality of your sleep."

Pam smiles. "Aw, really? Sleepover!" She jumps onto the bed, knees first, at least, and starts hopping around.

I laugh. "Why does everyone love this bed?"

Pam leaves to go change the sheets for Lucy and to get into her PJs. I close my door and change quickly, pulling out my phone to catch up on my messages. Almira and Elizabeth have both texted to ask how the full house is going. I check Facebook memories and scroll through, smiling when I see a picture of Kitty and me outside on the Muskoka chairs, me on one chair and her on the table part next to me while I read a book. The sun is so bright, I can practically feel its warmth, and Kitty's eyes are slits, staring right into the camera, her white paw reaching out towards me.

I message back so far, so good, and shut off my phone, leaving it on my dresser. I slowly take in each photo framed here. Pam, Mom and Dad picked out the perfect ones—one of me and Kitty on my bed, both of us against – or, in her case, on – pillows side by side, smiling at each other. It was a selfie I took two years ago. The middle photo is of me and her outside in the fall; I'm holding her and she's looking cutely to the side, and I'm smiling adoringly at her. I can still feel her soft fur in my hands where I hold her under her chest and near her tail to keep her safe and comfortable. The third photo is of just her, sitting on my bed. It was almost Christmas time and when I stepped into my room, she was sitting there on the bed, head slightly tilted, looking at me. Of course my heart melted and I "aww!"ed and took a picture. I used to think it was one of my favourites but looking at these photos, I realize they're all favourites because they're of her.

There's a knock at my door and I swing it open, letting Pam in. "Okay, I'm ready for sleep."

I watch Pam tuck herself in on the far side of my bed. "What about Josh?" They usually have a phone call before bedtime.

Pam waves her phone, which has clearly been shut off, and tosses it onto the floor, no damage done courtesy of Otter Box. "Not tonight—it's been a long day."

I arch an eyebrow, figuring this is another thing she's doing to give us sister time, and gratefully accept it.

I turn off the light and pause in the doorway. Even though two more people are in our house than there usually are, it's absolutely silent. Maybe Lucy and Luke are so used to silence where they live that they're emulating it now.

I keep my door just slightly open and easily find my way back to the bed.

"I forgot you like to move around in the dark," Pam whispers.

I tuck in under the covers, feeling the mattress sink a little more. Other than that, it doesn't feel like I'm sharing a bed.

"Yeah, it helps me get into sleep mode when the lights are all off."

I can picture Pam nodding. "I just realized we didn't leave a night light or something for Luke or Lucy."

I wince. "Yeah, Lucy should be okay because she's just down the hall from the bathroom, but Luke..." I picture him on the couch bed with all the couch cushions scattered on the floor, easy tripping hazards on his way to the washroom. And if he knocks into the TV stand... "Well, maybe their eyes are more accustomed to darkness, because it's so dark out in the country."

Pam snorts and I start laughing too. "You make it sound like it's some other realm."

I shrug. "To be honest, I have no idea what it's like. Luke said it was only half an hour away—that's not even far."

"We drive past their area on the way to Collingwood," Pam points out. "So I guess it isn't that far." The bed creeks as she turns on her side, probably towards my desk, because now her voice sounds further away. "So what are you guys going to do tomorrow?"

"You guys?" I echo.

"Josh is coming over or I'm going there, I'm not sure. We can stay here and hang out again but on Monday, I do have school."

I hadn't thought about that. Aw, man. How did I not realize Luke will be here for five whole days while Pam is at school?

"I hadn't thought about that," I admit. "I was kind of picturing being at home and just relaxing." The plans for this week have changed multiple times, I realize. First I was going to be home relaxing with Kitty, reading books together in the sunroom and outside. Then the plan was to stay in my room and watch videos of her from recent times and when she was a kitten. And to go out with my friends. And now...I have no idea how to entertain Luke for a week.

Pam's stomach growls. "I don't know how I can still be hungry," she mutters. "Mom's food was so good today. The best it's been in a while."

I tilt my head towards her. "What are you talking about?"

The bed creeks. "Her food's been so bland lately. You didn't notice?"

I try to remember what we've been eating for the past week. Blank. "No..."

"Well, it's been really bland, I'm telling you. Like, no salt or something. And that's saying a lot, because Mom always makes good food."

My breathing comes in a little shallow. Why would Mom's food be bland? Mom does love to cook. Has it really been that bland and I didn't notice? What would make Mom less interested in cooking?

An answer pops into my head. Ever since Kitty...the last thing I've wanted to do is eat. Mom kept trying to feed me but I didn't feel like eating without Kitty. I did eat, but I didn't care about what I was eating. Has Mom been feeling sad, too? About Kitty? Or something else? I think of Dad. He's been gone for more than a week now—he does this trip every year. That's not different. Is it? Is something different?

I turn on my side, towards my door, and take a deep breath. I'll check tomorrow morning—see if Mom's alright. She was laughing today. Yeah, she seemed even happier than usual. I remember her running into the hall to see Lucy. Yeah, she's fine. She's got to be fine.

My eyes start to droop. My blanket is so cozy, my pillow nice and cool, the mattress so soft...I stretch out my foot to reach under Kitty, her presence so comforting...

My foot hits something hard. Pam's ankle. "Ow!" Pam tries to keep her voice down. "What..."

I sit up and look behind me at the darkness. "Sorry, I..." And my voice hitches. Tears stream down my face and I start to cry, quietly. "I forgot—Kitty—"

Pam's arm wraps around me and I flop back down, head in my pillow, muffling my sobs. Pam holds me tight, quietly shaking too, our tears blending. There's a hole in my heart that squeezes my throat but Pam holding me and thoughts of Kitty make it fill again. And next thing I know, I fall asleep.