chapter one,     red heels

     FRESH AIR IS FORBIDDEN in the streets of Ketterdam.

     The air that was struggling to get inside of the woman's lungs, whose steps were met with little taps against the wet stone and mud, mixing together with the blood that has been spilt in those streets countless times.

     Lavender knew what Ketterdam was all about— money. The capital of Kerch was a very attractive spot to the tourists, unravelling various attractions to them. Gambling halls, Menageries, theatres and other celebrations. Everyone was eager to spend their kruge on fake Saints relics and other whatnots.

     But where the woman's steps were echoing— there were no tourists. The Barrel was a place where you should not go alone if you can't protect yourself. When you pass through the Menageries and other attractive locations, all you are left with is an unbelievable stench of piss and smoke.

     "Oh, Saints, my heels are going to be ruined!"

     The woman's voice of disgust surrounded the filthy streets. If there was one thing Lavender treasured more than she is supposed to— it was her spotless crimson heels that made her feel visible. She wasn't afraid of the stares, she could handle them all.

     Her crimson heels were tapping against the wet stone as she was making her way through the night, getting surrounded by the cheers of drunk idiots, rumours that were spread by the poor citizens who just gambled their money away and now they will have to sleep in the mud.

     All those rumours were making her head dizzy— did you know that the dealing man in the Silver Six is skimming? Did you know that one of the girls in the Emerald Palace will pleasure you for money? How low has humanity dropped? Lavender thought, a small tsk leaving her lips.

     It was easy to say that Lavender Elrod despised this city. She was born here, grew up here and left it and she hoped she had left it for good, but now she was here, again... But no one knew her here and she liked to keep it that way. There are always advantages to being a ghost that wanders in the streets.

     And now, she had to get to this city again, to find her idiot brother who started to go to university here a few years ago, but as she found out just a few days after she arrived in Ketterdam— her brother wasn't a student there for years. Plus, that was a good opportunity to escape the village and see some life, but she didn't mean Kerch— This was just simply horrible.

     Lavender stomped to the third gambling hall today to find her brother. Since gambling halls were so popular, there was a huge chance that the stupid oaf will be there instead of getting the promised degree.

     The woman was surprised to see the gambling hall that looked completely uninviting. There were no flashy colours like at the previous ones. This building was painted completely black, matching the mood of the city, but above the grand door stood an oxidized sculpture of a crow and it brought a lopsided smile on the lady's face that quickly faded away. Crows reminded her of her past, but apparently, this whole city is a huge reminder for her of what she lost. Of who she lost.

     Lavender huffed out, stepping inside, looking around, noticing that the interior was similar— black mixing with silver, meanwhile the tables were covered with printings of a crow— that seemed creative. She quickly scanned the room and she didn't notice her brother.

     Sadness and annoyance overtook her, so she made her way to the bar and plopped on the stool, grabbing a couple of napkins from the bar. "Red wine, please," she exclaimed in her perfectly spoken Kerch and the man simply nodded, his eyebrows furrowed as to what a woman like this was doing in here.

     Lavender stretched her hands out as she wiped her precious heels with a couple of napkins and let out a huff of air before the man brought her a glass of wine. "You searchin' for someone?" The man asked in a thick accent, leaning to the bar, closer to the red-headed beauty. It wasn't every day you saw a woman that you could only see in a Menagerie.

     "My brother. He is about this tall," she pushed out her hand up, "Zemeni, total idiot." She concluded and took a sip of the alcohol, feeling already warmer than before.

     "You mean Jesper? I didn't know he had a sister," the man huffed out, running his hand through his weirdly combed moustache.

     "I feel hurt that he didn't boast about me," she simply replied, her heart bubbling with joy that this was the place where Jesper was. However, there was one catch.

     Lavender perfectly knew what the deal was with Ketterdam— gang fights. This part, called the Barrel, was filled with different gangs that owned the gambling halls. So which gang did her idiot brother decide to join?

     "Well, if I would know a woman like you, I would definitely keep you a secret... Let me tell you," the man leaned forwards, starting to creep Lavender out, but her bag was beside her chair and she knew how to protect herself. "It's not a place for a woman like you, it's dangerous out here, especially in the nights."

     "Oh, I know. Thanks for the concern, but could you direct me to Jesper?" She batted her eyelashes at the man, offering him a soft smile that made the man flush and smile discreetly.

     Lavender looked in the direction where the man pointed his finger at and she thanked him, gulping the wine down in one go, leaving some kruge for it. She grasped her bag, winking at the man and she clacked her way to the table where her brother was sitting.

     Makker's Wheel... Seriously, Jesper? You fall for this one out of all of those?

     Lavender spotted a free spot at the table, the men around it, grasping their coins, looking at the wheel with greedy eyes, hoping to win, but they will most certainly lose.

     "Oh, I call shots for number 3, ladies," she exclaimed as she sat on the chair, her bag beside the table as she crossed her legs, leaning back to the chair, flashing the gentlemen a smile.

     Her eyes dropped on the male that was sitting at the corner and she raised her hand, wiggling her fingers as a way of greeting him, only to see how his jaw dropped on the table. His eyes were filled with confusion as if he was trying to decipher if it was really Lavender.

     Jesper was way different from when he left. He became thinner, more lean and even from his sitting position he could see that he has grown taller. His face was more masculine, his brown skin silky smooth as his hair was hidden under a hat.

     "Vi?" He finally muttered and Lavender let out a smile as both of them stood up and smashed into each other, hugging.

     "Saints, look how tall you are," she mumbled in his chest as she only reached his shoulders, his lean arms around her back, squeezing her tight.

     "What the hell are you doing in here?" He exclaimed as soon as they pulled back, his hands cupping her face, examining her, noticing her changes over the years.

     "I came to visit my student brother," she plastered a welcoming smile on her face, before she roughly smacked his shoulder— once, twice and then another time for fun.

     "Ow, ow, ow, quit it!" He hissed out in pain, his hands dropping on his chest in a self-defence motion, his bottom lip pushed out forwards. "I get it! You are mad!" He exclaimed, his hands stretched up as if he was giving up already.

     "I am not mad, Jesper, I am totally furious! You lied about getting in university and now you are addicted to gambling and you are probably mixed in some gang business," she whispered the words as she grabbed her bag from the floor and grasped her brother's arm, pushing them away from the others, not wanting to cause disarray.

     "Listen, it's not that bad as it sounds," he started, his voice slightly raised and she squinted her eyes. He always used this voice when he was lying.

     "Oh, it is bad," she exclaimed, her voice low and furious as her breathing was forced, loud, cough forming in her throat that she was gulping down for like the past few minutes.

     "I am doing great here! I know I didn't come to visit, but I missed you," he softly admitted, batting his eyelashes, changing the subject.

     Lavender quickly crossed her arms on her chest as she dropped a glare at him, which told him that she wasn't happy about this. "How bad is it?" She asked, leaning her head to the nearby wall, noticing how he smiled— his white teeth complementing his flawless, brown skin perfectly.

     "It's all good," he exclaimed with the same smile and she just kept silent, looking at him, waiting for him to drop the act. If everything would have been good, he wouldn't have been here gambling— he would have been studying. "I am in a huge debt," he admitted, smile fading away, shoulders dropping down as he sighed.

     "Jesper..." she mumbled, her eyes wide, apologetic. Even if he was a total idiot and he brought it to himself... He was still her brother who she has missed over the two years.

     "I know, I know! But no word to father, I have everything under control," he immediately stretched his hands up as if these words could magically fix the situation.

     "Do you? Because at that table you seemed like you were about to lose," she sarcastically snarled and received an eye roll from her brother.

     "It is my lucky day. I know I will win," he exclaimed and received a disapproving look from her. He already sounded like a very bad addict.

     "I came here for you, Jesper, I will get you through this, alright?" Lavender nudged his shoulder with her hand and sighed, running her hand through her curls in which there was a strand of red velvet ribbon braided in.

     "You really came here for me?" His voice raised, his eyes shiny as he looked at his sister.

     "I got sick of the farm, but trust me, Ketterdam wouldn't have been my first choice," Lavender exclaimed, Jesper, nodding sadly as he knew that she was born in here and lived with her mother before she got adopted by the Fahey family.

     "You can't stay here, at least not on this side of the city. It is not safe," Jesper's voice dropped, low and serious. Lavender has never have heard him so serious before in her life. Being in Ketterdam, being involved in whatever was going on, changed him.

     "You know I can take care of myself," Lavender reminded him, remembering how Jesper thought her how to hold a revolver, how to aim and how to shoot. She wasn't afraid of violence, she has been through enough of it.

     "I know, but I am serious, you have to stay careful," he exclaimed, pushing his fingers through her wavy hair and he placed a smile on his face. It was obvious that he was more than glad to see his sister again.

     "I missed you," she whispered, "You have no idea how much I hated you when you left," she admitted, her voice silent.

     "I am sorry, Vi... Trust me, I missed you too," he remarked and pulled her into his hug, rubbing her back reassuringly.

"Jesper." A raspy voice appeared behind them, sending a wave of chills down Lavender's neck.

"Oh, uh— Just a moment," Jesper exclaimed with a cheeky tone that was absolutely fake as if he didn't want to be seen with her.

Lavender looked at the man that spoke up from behind of them and her heart stopped for a few seconds, her lungs started to hurt as she felt the familiar wave of cough rising in her throat, but she bitterly gulped it down, inhaling the air unevenly.

The man was tall, his hair was messy as his hand was placed on a fabulous cane that looked like a fabrikator's work, it had a crow's head carved on it and it looked like it cost some great kruge. The man was standing tall, his posture even as his face was showing no feelings— his sharp cheekbones were sculpturing the rest of his face as his eyes were harsh, empty and displeased as he was watching the two.

Lavender felt how her lungs started to buzz from the pain and she let out a slight cough, that was painful, her barely functioning lungs grasping every bit of air she gave. Her mind was dizzy as her whole body just decided to freeze. It was a mistake to come here, it was a mistake to come search for Jesper.

Now, Lavender ended up with endless flashbacks that were mixing up with everything, sending her a welcoming migraine as her eyes filled with tears. I thought you died, she thought, her hands flexing and forming into fists.

She never thought she would see him again. Many years has passed since the last time she saw him and she recognized him instantly. She could see the boy underneath those sharp cheekbones and horrifying eyes that held a lovely death stare. She could see the boy that smiled more than she did.

She saw Kaz Rietveld. She saw her first and only love.

(gif banner is made by me)

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Author's Note:

-I am excited to write this book because my love for Kaz Brekker is enormous. Tell me your thoughts on the chapter!

-For those of you who are new to Grishaverse, I will explain some words you might not know!

Kerch is an island and Ketterdam is its capital.
Fabrikator is a grisha— a human with special abilities. Fabrikators control the composite materials.
Kruge is Kerch's currency.
Zemeni are people who come from Novyi Zem.

m.n