Friday, October 16, 2020

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It's called doing video notes and advanced math homework, then typing up almost 2,000 words for a 1,000 update, and still having to take more notes, complete a project, and finish writing an update along with two updates, roughly 3,000 words total, this weekend. 

Not to mention, four days in person without proper social distance and people who can't keep their masks COVERING THEIR NOSE FOR GODS' SAKE PEOPLE IT ISN'T THAT HARD when your state is one of many hotspots and the USA just passed eight million Covid cases. 8,000,000 people who have been confirmed to have had or do have Covid. 

But sure, go ahead, open the school to four days of full study body face to face learning without six feet distance between the students in class. That's a wonderful idea! Truly brilliant! Especially when it's cold and flu season! On top of Covid!

As I told my mom, "the odds are very much against me so I use humor to keep myself from thinking about it too deeply so I can manage to have some level of calm and aren't on the floor crying :)". 

I'm not ready to deal with this, I hate interacting with people and I'm barely balancing everything without compromising something I'm not ready to compromise.

Though I don't really see the point: either I give up family time, my writing/self care, or— oh wait, that's it. My life is literally school, writing and self care, and the time I'm forced to spend with my family. With small moments sprinkled in of texting/calling friends and interacting online with y'all. 

That's it? 

That's... everything I am? 

That's what I've become?

Just, a student, a "daughter", and a writer?

Well, I did say school stripped me of my humanity.

But it's only been a month and a half.

I thought I'd have lasted a bit longer.

Stay safe kiddos and please, take care of yourselves.

Love you <3<3<3

~Ink