*Play the song when the lyrics start. :)*

I watched the dark waters laps against the shore. My mouth was full of the chewy goodness known as Nutella, a huge jar settled on my lap. On either side of me sat Vivi and Joel. Chey and Luca were no longer part of the tradition. It was just us.

"Feeling any better, Con?" Vivi asked, leaning against my shoulder.

Since that morning, which was when I was released from the police station, I had gathered my belongings from Cheyenne's and tossed them in Vivi's room. For the rest of the day, everyone let me sleep, as I had been awake since four in the morning.

Yet, sleep couldn't heal a broken heart, that was for sure.

"No," I answered honestly, shoving another spoonful of goodness into my mouth.

Joel sighed. "You can't let them bring you down."

I let the Nutella slide off my lap, inches from roasting in the bonfire. Tears leaked from my eyes and travelled down my cheeks. My chest heaved up and down. I'd lost control of my emotions. I hugged my knees to my chest and buried my face within them. It was like I was shielding myself from the world. Only, that didn't work. Nothing could quell the evils of mankind but death. 

I felt arms wrap around me. Instead of shrugging them off, I enjoyed their warm embraces. It was amazing to know that people cared, but two compared to the whole world didn't seem like enough. Nothing felt like enough. I wasn't enough.

Finally, I pulled away from my friends. In that moment, I had the strong urge to just flat out die. I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that those types of thoughts were bad. Yet, so was I. I attracted everything bad in the world, and now everyone was hurting because of me.

Who knew what rumors Cheyenne and Luca had started at school that day? Joel and Vivi had stayed home with me, yet I heard Luca was already out of the hospital. I wasn't sure if he had some kind of connections in the small town, but he seemed immune to any kind of repercussions. 

Suddenly, I heard a song begin to play. I glanced at Vivi through blurry eyes, but I realized she wasn't the one playing the song. Glancing over at Joel, I saw him holding his phone, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips.

"I can have a feel better song too, you know. Vivi's rubbed off on me."

I couldn't muster a single laugh, not even a miniscule smile. Instead, I focused my eyes on the dancing flames, watching as the bright orange contradicted the inkiness of the night sky.

You've been, waiting a long time
To let this, out into the daylight
You're not alone, we all have days
When the well inside needs to break

I began to breath heavily. Why me? Why did everything happen to me?

Just let 'em fall, right down your face
Hit the ground, in a pool of grace
And feel the things, you haven't felt for years
That's why God made tears

I did let them fall. They dripped off my face onto the soft sand. My chest constricted and it felt difficult to breath. A sob escaped my lips and my body trembled, but I kept my eyes on the dancing flames. The fire began to dwindle, almost as though my tears had affected it.

The waves crash, hard into the harbour
But you don't, have to hold 'em back any longer
There's a freedom, found when you're unafraid
To let the water, wash it all away

God, please take this away. All of this pain, all of this heartache. I can't take it anymore. 

Just let 'em fall, like healing rain
Watch the walls, start crumbling
Let your heart beat, and feel the weight
You've carried disappear

I want to die, God, I thought. My gaze focused on the starry sky, observing the twinkles of light dancing in the inky abyss. That's what I needed; a light in the dark. 

The rest of the song finished in a blur. By the end of it, my face was soaked and my body was incapable of producing anymore tears to shed. Vivi and Joel didn't dare to approach me, which I was thankful for. It felt like a soft, soothing voice spoke to my heart.

Just breathe, Connie. It'll all be okay, trust me.

I didn't believe it. I mean, how could it? How could everything be okay when everything I had ever held comfort in was crumbling right before my eyes? My heart felt shattered beyond compare and the pain felt unbearable. It was almost as though something was trying to snatch my heart right out of my chest.

I felt someone take my hand and gently raise me to my feet. 

"I wasn't always the person I am now, Connie," Vivi spoke softly. She didn't look like her vivacious, lively self in that moment. I could see into her soul through her eyes, and that spoke volumes more than any words ever could.

"What do you mean?" I whispered.

She sniffed, letting her hand fall back to her side. "Do you know why I was put up for adoption, Connie?"

I shook my head.

She let out a deep, long sigh. "When I was around four years old, my birth mother tried to drown me in the ocean. That's why I can't get near it. It scares the heck out of me."

My eyes widened and my heart broke for her. Who could do that to Vivi? Why would anyone want to do that to their own child, their own blood?

Tears began to stream down her face. "I became scared of everyone. I was traumatized. I was also put up for adoption, as my dad no longer wanted me."

"Vivi-"

She held up a hand to silence me. "But then, Joel's family came along. They knew my case, but they wanted to help me get better." Her lips twisted into a soft smile. "Through therapy and counseling, I was able to warm up to people. And maybe, just maybe, I turned my sorrow into anger. That's why I'm always so quick to jump to conclusions and defend myself.

"However, I feel that I've become a better person. I feel like even though I've been through rough times, it's shaped me into a better person. I got through it. And, trust me, Connie, you'll get through this, too. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. If I went through everything you have so far, I have no idea what I'd do."

I'm not sure when compelled me, but I gathered her into my arms. We stood there in content silence, silence that was only broken by a sniffle from me. I had no idea something so traumatizing had happened to Vivi, but it was really inspirational. 

I pulled away from my friend, my best friend, and genuinely smiled.

Joel walked up to us, the jar of Nutella in his grasp. "Shall we continue where we left off?"

I weakly laughed, snatched the bottle from him, and rushed back to my seat on the sand.

_____

This book has hit 1k reads! What even, guys? Another update for you all and THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHH.

Song: Tears by Matt Hammit. I've been addicted to this song since I first heard it today on the radio. Idk why, maybe because it's therapeutic for me. I feel like it fit the story so well.

The characters have taken over and helped the story get where it is, lol. But honestly, I never planned to make it so dark. However, since I started this book, I've been through more and learned more. So, I don't know, thoughts on it?

QOTD: What do you think will happen next?

-Sarah