Vivi and I ambled ahead while Joel trudged behind. The bright sand of the beach popped into view as we turned a corner, the roar of the ocean dominating any other white noise. We were heading back to the beach after eating at Pete's pancakes, where I spent an hour bonding with two strangers. Surprisingly, the brother and sister, Vivi being adopted, wormed their way into my heart. Of course, I was terrified to shatter them, to harm them as I had done to Tasha. Yet, a part of me craved friendship, begging my heart and mind to cease seeking solitude. That part of me seemed pretty selfish, yet I didn't mute it.

"Connie!" Vivi whined childishly, slinging an arm around my shoulders, "Are you even listening to my rambling?"

I let out a meek laugh, offering her a feigned small. "Of course, Vivi."

Her smile stretched.

"That's exactly what you're doing," Joel joked, catching up to us and sauntering past his sister. "Pointlessly rambling."

She smacked him on the shoulder, dropping her arm from mine. "At least I have good taste in friends."

Joel rolled his eyes, turning a deaf ear to Vivi and quickening his pace. From the light yet sarcastic tone of her voice, I assumed Vivi was joking around. However, her words seemed to strike a cord in her brother. I felt like I was, once again, intruding. They harbored enough tension in their circle of friends without me budding into it. Yet, as soon as dread filled the pit of my stomach, Vivi spoke up.

"You seem glum. Joel's just really protective of his friends," she smiled wobbly. "Maybe I shouldn't be so rude, but I just can't stand Meatbag."

I nodded, sort of understanding her predicament. Maybe it wasn't the same, as I had a reason that was plain as day, but I resented Tasha after what she did. Everyone still adored her, save Christie and I. Of course, my anger could never validate my vile actions. However, the pain of losing Tasha became overrun by anger; resentment for Tasha, Josh, and everyone else I had believed to like me. I knew I should've considered their point of view, but did anyone bother to ponder mine?

"No one cares what I think," Vivi continued, dark eyes clouded with emotion as she briefly glanced my way. A fire blazed within me. I recognized that look; an attempt to conceal grief, sorrow, and white-hot pain.

"I know the feeling," I muttered, stomach twisted and split between varying negative emotions.

She glanced over at me, eyes widened in surprise. "You do?" She paused for a split second. "How?"

I shrugged, halting in my stride. I brought my other foot by my side, my view of the beach obscured by a lanky beach house. "You wouldn't get it." My heart thudded against my ribcage. I couldn't tell her how Tasha died. She'd think I was a monster. Besides, her own worries plagued her.

I flinched away as a hand was lain upon my shoulder. "I can try. I'm not very good at this whole emotion thing though. You've been warned."

A short laugh escaped my lips, the sun beating down on my head and causing beads of sweat to collect on my forehead. "I'm no expert. My old friends, save one," I exhaled deeply, "turned against me. Not to say I didn't think before I acted, but they ignored her wrong doing." My cheeks were damp as I shuddered. Great, I was burdening her with my problems. I didn't wish to sound like the main victim.

Soft arms wrapped around me from my left. "Connie, you can tell me. I wont snitch or quit being your friend. You have to let it out." Her voice sounded gentle and caring; like someone who felt genuinely concerned.

My head slowly rocked back and forth. "No," I sniffed, swiping the back of my hand against my eyes. "Really, Vivi, thanks for caring. But I'm fine. Just some drama." My lips twitched as I attempted to prove that I was, in fact, fine. But I wasn't; slowly, my heart was crumbling into pieces.

Vivi placed her hands on my shoulders and spun me around to face her. Her expression was blank, devoid of any telltale emotion. "Connie,I know how it feels to hold something in, to be scared of ridicule and rejection. Just-"

"Viv! Connie!" Joel suddenly shouted, panting as he skidded to a stop beside us. "Luca and Cheyenne aren't there!"

My eyes widened as I turned to face him, shoving Vivi's hands off my shoulders. "What?"

Vivi growled from beside me. "If Meatbag hurt Cheyenne-"

"Guys!" I heard someone shout from behind me, laughter in her voice.

Relief flooded through me as I whipped around to find Cheyenne and Luca holding hands. Smiles littered their faces, lighting them up like stars do a city on a clear night.

"You scared us!" Vivi hissed, rushing over to a confused Cheyenne and pulling her into a tight embrace.

"Sorry guys," Luca apologized as his girlfriend awkwardly patted her hysterical friend on the back, droppings hand in the process. "We went and grabbed some coffee. We lost track of time and didn't think you'd be back so quickly."

Vivi swiftly pulled away from Cheyenne and spun on her heel to face Luca. Her hands flew to her hips like a mother scolding a child. "We were gone for two hours!" She spat venomously. "What were you two doing in that coffee shop?"

Cheyenne shook her head, nearly shaking with silent laughter. "Nothing naughty, Vivi."

Luca calmly rolled his eyes, pulling a mini hand sanitizer out of his pocket and squirting a small amount onto his palm.

"You're so terrified of germs, yet you can't keep yours away from my friends, you meatbag!" Vivi screamed.

I grabbed her arm, heart pounding. This girl could heat up faster than an oven. "Vivi, I'm sure you have a reason to be upset with Luca. But-"

Vivi sighed before yanking her arm out of my grasp. "Ugh!" She shouted, angry tears streaming down her face as she turned towards me. She gently pushed me aside before storming down the street, hands balled into fists.

"Vivi, wait!" I yelled, watching as her light hair danced by her shoulders.

A hand fell on my arm. "We're better off without her right now, she keeps getting so upset," Cheyenne whispered sullenly. "I knew her and Luca wouldn't last in the same group of friends for long. I-"

"Chey, none of this is your fault," Luca muttered, a seemingly uncharacteristic coldness lacing his tone. "I told you Vivi was no good."

Joel appeared beside me. "Vivi's still my sister, Luc."

"I don't care!" Luca shouted, causing me to flinch. Cheyenne placed a hand on his arm. Luca's eyes were ablaze with anger and hatred.

The situation reminded me of the whole Tasha situation. Anger blazed within me as well, but not against Vivi. She just wished to be heard. She was upset, just as I was. No one, not even her best friend, wished to consider her feelings. Burning passion and memories mixed into a dangerous concoction.

"Why don't you try seeing it her way?" I snapped, crossing my arms across my chest as I stared into a surprised Luca's light eyes. "I've known Vivi for a few hours, but I can honestly relate to her. I can understand her basic personality. She might be snarky, rude, and sarcastic, but she must've had a great reason to pull what she just did."

"But she's a-"

"Shut up, Meatbag," I seethed, ripping a page out of Vivi's book as anger practically radiated off me in waves. Tears stung my eyes, though I'm not sure if they were caused by anger or returning sorrow."

"Connie, you don't-"

"No," I croaked, "you don't understand, Cheyenne. Darn it, Vivi's the only one to show me something other than anger or obliviousness besides Christie! How can I continue to search for the good in the world when all I can see is evil?"

Tears poured down my face in torrents. As I spun on my heel to leave, Cheyenne grabbed my arm. I shrugged it off, my tears obscuring my vision. My flip-flops pounded against the road as I stormed off, my hands balled into fists like Vivi's were.

"Connie!" I heard someone shout, but their voice was drowned out by the venomous thoughts swimming around in my head. I had totally blown my chance of friendship out of the water. Now, they'd resent me for my outburst. Gosh, why was I such a horrendous person? So much for not hurting them.

A hand suddenly grabbed my arm and sharply jerked me backwards. I stumbled, the roar of an engine and the crunch of gravel under tires briefly filling my ears as a speeding truck zipped down the road. After once again swiping the back of my hand against my eyes, I turned to glance at my savior.

Joel offered me a small smile before ambling ahead, gently pulling me behind him. "Let's get you out of the road."

I allowed him to pull me, halting as soon as my shoes hit the sidewalk. "Thanks," I murmured. "I appreciate it."

He nodded. "Are you okay?"

I attempted to brush him off, nodding before turning around. However, his large hand gripped my arm, causing me to rock back into my original position.

"I'm not really one to make scenes. However, Vivi's still my sister and is entitled to her opinions. Luca is my best friend, yet I'm torn between his and her side. But really, thanks for standing up for her. Those emotions had to come from a pretty dark place, huh?'

I whipped around to face him, my body trembling with lingering emotion. My blonde hair clung to my wet face, so I attempted to separate it from my flesh. "Joel, you seem like a nice person, but I don't need someone to pity me, okay? You'd all be better off if you never met me. My old friends would be too, trust me. So just leave me alone. Don't talk to me," I took a shaky breath, "Don't even acknowledge me."

With that, I spun on my heel and ran in the opposite direction. This time, he let me.

___

Gonna try and keep this short.

Wow, lots of bottled up emotions. Was it too much? Again, feel free to play editor. bcruzy_02 I know you will anyways lol.

If I made the characters Wattpad accounts where you could interact with them, would you? I did this with my other book, Removed. I'm really trying to have extra stuff for both my books, but no one wants to do one shots (well one person on Removed, but that wouldn't be a contest with just one person) or comment questions. That's ok, I can get too excited lol. Not yet. But would this be something you guys would do?

Next chapter might use some more Christian songs. Two people have previously given me recommendations, so thanks. If anyone wants to give me another one, go ahead. I'll use what I think fits the chapter the best, not just because I like so-and-so better. But I MGIHT NOT USE ONE. I'm not sure yet.

Thanks for the continued support! I just love your comments, but sorry if for some reason I don't see them. (idk that keeps happening. Am I just not seeing the notification?) Anyone else have this problem?

Peace,

-Sarah

ps. Was that short? I guess more than normal? xD