♯⠀⠀chapter thirty.

i always want to talk to you     ⋆·˚ ༘ *

addi 💞
today felt so long

babe 💓
anything you want to talk about?

addi 💞
everything
but you're probably tired

babe 💓
never too tired to talk to you
i always want to talk to you

addi 💞
okay
i'll call you in a second
let me finish getting ready for bed

babe 💓
okay babe

ADDI WAS LAYING IN BED WITH HER PHONE SET UP ON HER NIGHTSTAND. she was turned on her side and looking at the screen as it rang. chris's contact picture was in the corner of her phone, and that alone was enough to make her smile.

soon enough the screen changed to show chris's face, addi smiled even more so than before and exclaimed, "hi babe." he smiled right back at her, his eyes filled with enough admiration that it made her insides warm.

sometimes addison forgets she's allowed to just admire the man in front of her, openly. she forgets that he gave her his heart and that he was already hers.

he smiled back at her, leaning back in the chair he was in. "you want to talk about your day?"

"yeah, i mean i can't tell you everything but, yeah." he nodded, but didn't make further comment. he waited for her to tell him what was going on. she let out a soft sigh, the tension in her shoulders dropping with it.

"it's just there's so much going on, i feel bad for livvy because of seb's interview, even though i know there's nothing i can do about it. and then, mikey's going through something, and obviously i'm trying to help him with it, but it keeps taking me back to moments when we were younger and i was basically raising him myself. it's just so surreal to think about what our lives used to be like compared to where they are now. sometimes i don't think i deserve it. usually those thoughts don't last very long, but they still make appearances every once and a while. i just can't stop thinking about this one time back when i was 15, mikey had been doing the dishes because i was at work, one of my two jobs at the time, and mikey dropped one of the plates. well it shattered and my dad, the drunk he was, woke up because of it. he got up and started lashing out at mikey in the kitchen. when i got home i found his curled up in a ball, the shattered glass still on the floor. i cleaned up the broken pieces before taking mikey upstairs and just holding him. he was eight, chris, only eight. i should've known to tell him to leave the dishes for me when i got home."

chris waited until he knew she was finished talking before trying to speak to her, and only when she let out a shuttering breath did he start. "yeah, he was eight. but addi, you were fifteen. you couldn't have known he was going to drop the plate and your dad was going to yell at him for it. it wasn't your fault, like you said, you were already working two jobs and trying to raise your brother. you were already stronger then you needed to be. plus you were there for him afterwards, you were the exact person he needed you to be then, and you still are now. that's never going to be a bad thing."

addi didn't know she was crying till she opened her eyes and felt her eyelashes sticking together. that was the most she had ever told anyone about her parents other than erica and paul.

"i don't want to be like them." she whispered.

"addi, addi babe no." he shook his head at her. "you're not going to be like them. we're going to have these little kids running all around and you're going to know exactly how to help them when they scrape a knee or how to make them feel reassured when something goes wrong. i promise you addi, you'll be an amazing mother."

addi smiled brightly at him.

"what?" he laughed.

"you said 'we're going to have' not 'you're'." she couldn't help but be delighted at the idea that chris already assumed they'd have kids together.

chris just laughed a little bit more before nodding again. "yeah, of course i did. you're never getting rid of me."

addi could feel the weight of the day pulling her to sleep, but she registered saying "don't ever want to." before closing her eyes and falling asleep.

⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝖬𝖠𝖣𝖨 𝖲𝖯𝖤𝖠𝖪𝖲

ONE MORE CHAPTER TILL
THE EPILOGUE ARE WE READY
BECAUSE I AM NOT