Eddie Kaspbrak was more than certain that Richie was dating Stanley. He had little to no proof of that, he only knew that, Stan had to be important enough for Richie to get him out of bed so early, specially to go birdwatching. 

He sat there, eating his breakfast, glaring at Richie as he washed the dishes from the past night. He tried to picture him with Stan, but couldn't wrap his head around it. Richie would never date Stan. 

Sure, Richie liked Stan, they were friends. However, Stan was too much of an old soul, he was too much of a perfecionist, he was always annoyed, he was nothing more than an ancient man trapped in the sad body of a teen. Eddie shook his head, trying to shake the thought away. 

Richie and Stanley didn't match, that was all, he told himself. Richie was energetic, he couldn't survive five minutes without cracking a joke, he was free-spirited, he was even reckless. He and Stan would kill themselves in a relationship. 

Stan would never be able to handle how impulsive Richie Tozier was. No one could stop him, but Eddie knew for a fact that Stan would never be able to enjoy it. He giggled quietly, not to get Richie's attention. He had never noticed there even was a way to enjoy it, but he did. He had been enjoying his friend's impulsiveness for years. 

"Hey," the boy with glasses called him, Eddie's heart stopped, "Can I ask you something?" 

"Yeah," he replied in a nervous mumble. 

"It's a weird question, ok?" 

"Ok," he swallowed dry. 

"Is Bill dating Mike?" Richie narrowed his eyes. "I know you're close to Bill, so, I thought that if he told anyone, it'd be you."

"I think he is," he whispered. 

"You're sure he is, aren't you?" He sat at the table. "I mean, it's pretty obvious." 

"I had never thought about it before." 

"Bill and Mike?"

"No," Eddie chuckled, "Just about it. Bill, Mike, Stan, you know." 

"Stan?" 

"Shit," he sighed. 

"You know it, right? Their thing? Bill and Stan?" 

"Bill told me, please, don't tell anyone that I know," he pleaded, "I promised Bill I wouldn't tell." 

"You're so lucky I already knew it."

"Stan told you." 

"Yeah." 

"He tells you everything."

"That's kind of what friends do," he laughed. 

"So, you tell me everything?" Eddie leaned over the table, glancing him in the eye. He could always tell when Richie was lying. 

"Of course I tell you everything, Eds," he shot back quickly. 

Lie. That was a blatant lie. Eddie wondered if there would ever come a day Tozier would realize there was no point in lying to him, he knew too well how to read Richie. So, he was dating Stan. It was no longer something he suspected, it was true. They were dating. 

The information hit him like a punch in the guts. His hands were shaking. He had to get out of there, and he had to get out of there fast. He couldn't stand any more minute of staring at Richie's face. 

Maybe, he didn't think it was such a big deal. It was an obvious huge deal! The thought of Richie keeping that away from him made his heart shatter. Their friendship wasn't clearly as great as Eddie used to think it was. 

He couldn't help but to question if Richie ever considered him that much of a close friend as he considered Richie. He stood up. It was more than evident that, he had greater feelings for Richie than Richie had for him, even if he wasn't entirely sure of what that meant. 

"Where you going?" His friend asked blinking confused.  

"I just remembered something," he tripped on his own words, "I have to go. See you later." 

He hated the idea of leaving without a proper explanation, but it was better than standing there. 

Eddie shoved the tears inside until he got to his house. His mind walked through many paths, none could bring him any comfort. 

It was known that Richie wasn't his closest friend, it was Bill, just as Richie's closest was Stan. Nonethless, he had always known Richie was the friend he liked the most. Sometimes, even too much.

 It was a guilt he carried with him every day for so long, that he liked Richie more than he liked the others. Even if they didn't talk too much, even if their conversations felt weird, he was still his favorite, in a strange manner. 

To him, it was crazy to question why it was Richie. How could it not be? Richie was irritating, but never failed to make him laugh, even when he didn't want to laugh. Richie had this weird way about him that just caught Eddie's attention, from the first time he saw him. He moved in a funny way, adjusted his glasses in a funny way, he talked in a funny way. He had an unique way of caring for others, and Eddie appreciated that. He liked how Richie cared for him. 

He ran up the stairs of his house, locked himself in his bedroom, and threw himself on the bed. He tried to tell himself that the helplessness in him wasn't about Richie, it was because, he didn't want to be the friend left out. If Beverly was with Ben, Bill with Mike, and Richie with Stan, then, there wasn't space for him anymore.

The thought didn't last long. It didn't have enough to sustain itself. It was just another lie, and, Eddie was getting sick of telling himself lies. 

When he was the only one lying to him, it didn't matter, he could bare it. He couldn't bare, though, Richie lying to him. 

Maybe, just maybe, he thought, Richie had never been his favorite friend, maybe he had always liked Richie in a different way. In a way that put him in a complete new place in his mind. 

He buried his face in his hands. There was only one logical conclusion left after that day, regardless of how much he loathed it, it was there, hanging right in front of him, silently waiting for him to reach it. It had been there his entire life. He had seen it before, but never needed it. 

**********

I haven't updated in forever, I hope there's still someone out there to read this. Social isolation brought me back here, I hope you can all stay home, and stay safe. You can never be too careful when it comes to a deadly disease. Remember, even if you aren't someone in a risky position about it, even if you wouldn't die from it, you have loved ones who can, people in your life have loved ones that could die from it. Stay safe, and keep always as safe as you can. 

Anyway, you can find me in tiktok now, my tiktok is overdressed_ , I still haven't got anything up in there, but I soon will, so add me, we can chitchat. Comment on this chapter, vote if you enjoyed it, and keep reading, I'll keep writing it through quarantine. 

Love,

Liv