In the freezing dawn, I waited for the sun to appear. I waited for its warmth for hours. And whoever said that you'll be numb for a long time in a strong cold breeze, they're wrong.

I didn't feel numb. I was there and the cold stroke down my bones like it will be left and stay there for an eternity, weakening every layer of the skin then through the deep core of me.

I stared at the statue. Somewhere around the time, I swore I saw it moved its head. To see me. To send its sympathy. But it never said anything. It is a statue.

The tears was on their verge of trickling. But they never came. Just from the side of the eyes, they escaped and then back from where they're all from, afraid.

Afraid that after a few drops, they'll float and dissipate.

I shouldn't be there in the first place.

It was great. We have fun but as the temperature dropped and the evening misplaced its power in a lighter shade, all well hell dissolved.

The party was over but the feeling of the adrenaline rest within myself. The others was asleep, snoring, embracing themselves as they got dug, buried from the thin white sheets and small pillows of their own made bed.

Every sweet romance before turned sour and bitter. It was disgusting.

It is disgusting.

I saw a lady laying in the bed and how her lips pursed to avoid a smile when a hand travelled over her, claiming her.

But as I got to see it from my own point of view, I realized it was nothing more than just touch and lust.

I threw the hand.

Away.

Away from me.

I ran. But my senses stayed on those hands. My skin burned under the invisible grip and it's not something that I can bear.

After the contacts, I wished that I'm not me.

I wished that I live in a different place.

I wished I didn't go here. I wished I am different.

I hope for all to go away.

And I hope somehow in some way, I can attached my waist and my hands away.

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No note.