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Jo
Michonne was the first one to move. "Everyone should go home," she said looking over the group. The Alexandrians were frozen in shock, uncertain what to do with themselves in the wake of the deaths. Michonne standing before them with her katana naked in her hand seemed to stir them to action. They all slowly disbursed, glancing fearfully at us over their shoulders.
I turned, stepping out of Daryl's arms. "Do we know for certain there was only one?" I asked Rick, my gaze flickering down to the dead Walker.
He looked over at me, pinching his lips. "Pretty sure," he replied.
I stared at him hard. "Pretty sure isn't good enough for me," I said. "A couple of us should take a few laps though, just to be safe," I looked to Michonne as I spoke, confirming she was on board with the decision. Rick didn't look to be in any condition to act as constable.
"You and me?" she asked.
I nodded and turned back to Pete's body. I kicked it over so it flopped on it's back and bent down, pulling my knives. I wiped them both off on Pete's pants and tucked them away under my jacket.
When I turned around both Deanna and Spencer were watching me with tear filled eyes. I looked away from them and found Jessie staring as well. I shook my head. I was beyond caring what they thought of me anymore.
"I'll take care of the bodies," Abraham said in a low voice. Rick flashed him a grateful look, though he was still distracted by the new arrival.
Daryl stepped up, like he was going to go with me, but I shook my head. "You should go get something to eat," I said. I let my eyes travel over him. He didn't appear to be injured and all the blood on him probably belonged to Walkers. "Get cleaned up."
Carol jumped into action at my words. "Why don't you boys come on back to the house and I'll make you something to eat. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about," she said gently.
Daryl looked mutinous but Carol took his arm and firmly guided him, Rick and Morgan back towards the house.
Michonne and I each circled the compound three times before we met up outside the armory.
"See anything?" Michonne called as she approached me. Her katana was still in her hand.
I shook my head. "Just a lot of nervous glances from behind the drapes."
"Can you blame them?" Michonne asked, shifting her weight restlessly.
I saw her point.
"Why don't you head back," she said jerking her head towards the house.
"Are you coming?"
"I'm going to do a few more laps," she said.
"Do you want a hand?" I asked. I didn't blame her for wanting to make sure everyone was safe. I turned to look out into the night, trying to decide if I would feel better doing another lap myself.
Michonne shook her head, waving me off once more. "No, you should head back before Daryl comes looking for you."
I snorted and headed towards the house. I paused at the top of the stairs on the porch looking in through the glass on the front door. Daryl and Morgan were both sitting at the island, eating and chatting quietly. Daryl as usual seemed to know when he was being watched because he looked up and caught my gaze. After a long moment he quirked a brow at me. Asking if I was coming in. I nodded and smiled before opening the door.
Rick flinched and spun around to face me and I saw Morgan drop his hand to his staff. I tensed, but didn't move for a weapon. I fought to keep my face perfectly neutral so he would see I wasn't a threat. He appeared to be a friend of Rick's and you didn't greet friends with knives.
"Jo," Rick said stepping forward, his eyes flashing apologetically. "This is Morgan. Morgan this is Jo," he introduced.
Morgan wiped his hands on his napkin and stepped forward offering me his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Jo," he said warmly.
I nodded and as soon as he released my hand I moved around the island to stand near Daryl. Morgan seemed nice, and he wasn't lying, but that didn't make me any more comfortable with a stranger in our house.
I didn't realize I was pacing until Daryl reached out and stopped me. He didn't look up from his food, or take his eyes off of Morgan or Rick. He reached out and caught my waist with one hand and pulled me into him. He stepped back and slid me in front of him effectively trapping me between him and the island with his hip. He let go of my waist and his arms came around me as he continued to eat.
After a few quiet moments Morgan looked up at Rick. "You were right," he said nodding. "It wasn't over," there was so much emotion in Morgan's words I felt like Daryl and I were intruding. It was obvious the men had a shared history. It was either from before I had met Rick's group or during the year I was in Woodbury. Either way it was impressive Morgan had managed to find Rick.
When Daryl and Morgan finished eating I scooped up their plates and took them over to the sink.
Rick looked up from the map in his hand. "We should talk more tomorrow. Listen...I don't take chances anymore."
"And you shouldn't," Morgan agreed.
Rick nodded. "We have a house, that's separate...it's for keeping people...separate."
Morgan wiped his hands on his napkin and stood. "I understand," he said with a kind smile.
Rick nodded, though he looked confused by Morgan's easy compliance. Morgan picked up his staff and started to the door. "I'm assuming it's not your house," he said with a teasing smile. Rick nodded and followed him to the door still looking vaguely bewildered.
"Good night, Daryl," Morgan said graciously. "Good night, Jo. It was a pleasure to meet you."
"Night," Daryl called. I glanced over at him and he was watching me. The door closed behind Rick and Morgan and I turned to Daryl a small smile playing at the corners of my lips. Without saying a word I walked up to him, laced my fingers with his and led him downstairs. I was a little shocked by how light and giddy I felt just having Daryl back.
I moved through the dark basement with Daryl's warm presence at my back. I led him into his room. He walked in and I clicked on the lamp. He propped the crossbow against the nightstand and went over to the closet. He opened the door and kicked his boots inside and hung up his vest. He paused as he took in the rest of the stuff hanging there. Then he looked back at me curiously.
"Do you mind?" I asked, suddenly feeling sheepish for not waiting to move my stuff until after I checked with him. My fingers found my necklace nervously.
He snorted and shook his head. "Course not darlin."
I nodded and looked down, feeling a blush creep up my neck. Daryl pulled his shirt over his head and I couldn't help admiring the view. For as long as it took him to be comfortable enough with me to tell me about his past, I loved how relaxed he was now. His arms were covered in streaks of dirt and blood, but the smooth expanse of his chest and abs were relatively clean. I fisted my hands to resist the urge to touch him.
Oblivious to my line of thoughts he tossed his shirt onto the pile of my dirty clothes in the corner. "I gotta take a shower," he said. He took a clean pair of boxers off the shelf in the closet. It felt weird, having a moment so strangely domestic and peaceful. It struck me that without Daryl here I had felt trapped by these walls, but with Daryl it felt like the safe haven it was supposed to be.
I had never considered myself a co-dependent person, and there was some part of me that was bothered by this revelation. Strong independent woman weren't supposed to fall to pieces just because their guy was gone for a little while. I knew I needed Daryl, I had for a while, and he needed me. And yet it bothered me that I did. I shouldn't need anyone, it felt like a weakness. And there was a part of my brain that was unwilling to accept such an obvious weakness.
I must have stood thinking on the spot for a while because I startled when Daryl stepped back in the room. He looked at me, and his eyes narrowed in concern. He tossed the rest of his dirty clothes on the pile and stepped over towards me. He chewed on his lip as he stepped next to me. He rested his hands on my shoulders and studied my face.
"What's go'in on Jo?" he asked seriously.
I took a step away from him and turned to face the closet. I wasn't sure how to explain to him what happened while he was gone. I rubbed my eyebrow.
"Carol said-" he started and I turned to face him sharply. Something in my eyes made him hesitate. He stopped and sat back on the bed, leaning his back against the wall and watching me patiently.
I turned back to the closet and started unstrapping my knives. I walked two over to the nightstand and hung the rest up in the closet next to my jacket.
"Looks like your new knives are treating ya good," he observed, trying to broach the subject from another angle I was sure.
I pinched my lips into a line trying to decide if he was upset with me. I looked back at him. "Yeah, sorry about that. I sort of blew it."
Daryl snorted. "I don't care Darlin. Ya do what ya what. Ya always have," he said tilting his head so his damp hair fell out of his eyes.
I stared into his blue eyes for a few moments trying to see if he was really telling the truth.
He made a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat and ran a hand over his mouth. "Only reason to keep it going was if ya still needed the break."
I shook my head. "The break didn't help," I said, sitting down so I could pull off my boots. I flung them across the room and they landed in the closet next to Daryl's.
"Carol said ya had some trouble," Daryl replied in a careful voice.
I nodded. "I don't know what happened," I said, my voice coming out more hushed than I had intended.
Daryl moved over on the bed, inviting me to sit next to him. I slid onto it and sat with my back against the wall. He reached over and pulled me next to him so the long line of our bodies touched from our shoulders to...well my ankle and his calf. He was quite a bit taller than me.
"Talk to me," he commanded quietly, reaching over and lacing his fingers with mine. I looked up at the ceiling and I felt tears burn the back of my eyes. He squeezed my fingers tightly between his own, making me look over at him. He was only inches away and I could feel his breath fan my skin.
"I just couldn't keep it all straight," I said looking away from him. I didn't want him to see how weak I was, how I had failed. Shame burned through my veins and made me feel sick to my stomach. But if we were going to seriously do this, him and I, he needed to understand. I felt like I needed to be honest with him over how often I struggled with the past.
Daryl, the ever patient hunter didn't say a word, he just sat, running his thumb in soothing lines over the skin of my hand and waited for me to continue. It never ceased to amaze me how he could simultaneously have to shortest fuse I have ever seen and seem to have all the patience in the world.
I sighed, I was not as patient as Daryl. He seemed as though he could wait all night for me to decide I was ready to talk, but I wanted to sleep. "I was upset that you were leaving...not at you or because I didn't want you to go," I said quickly, not wanting him to think I was sitting around pining the whole time he was gone. "But because I was worried about you and...and I just kept thinking about being out in the forest alone," I cleared my throat because it was hard to talk about. I had never really gone into detail with Daryl over what happened after the prison. Somehow I think he knew, without me ever having to say, how close to the edge I had come out there.
"And I was standing at the gate, holding onto the bars and this walker came..." I shook my head several times as though I could pull the image out of my brain. I pulled my hand away and scrubbed at my temples with my fists. "The snarls just kept echoing through my brain. I lost time I think...it feels like that was happening a lot. I tried coming back here and doing laundry but the power went out and I was...I didn't think I was here anymore...later I tried going to sleep but..." I chewed on the inside of my cheek. I couldn't find it in me to tell him about the nightmares.
Daryl reached over and pulled my hands away from the side of my head and ran the tips of his fingers up the sensitive skin on the inside of my left wrist. He ran the pads of his fingers back and forth leaving a trail of fire in it's wake. I exhaled and when I looked up at him he was studying the path of his fingers as though it were the most interesting thing in the world. My hands relaxed and he looked up at me.
"Nightmares," his voice was rough with emotion but he was working hard to keep his eyes neutral.
I ran a hand over my mouth and gave a jerky nod of agreement.
He nodded then and tangled his fingers with mine once more. "Rick told me," he confided.
I snorted once. "I'm not surprised, it was ugly...they kept their promise though...Carl and Rick," I prompted arching a brow at Daryl, because it was easier to tease than it was to talk about the crushing pain in my chest.
His smile was brief. "Good."
"Carl slept on the floor so I wouldn't be alone," I smiled at the memory and shook my head, unable to fathom how I had ended up with so many people who cared about me. It was a hard thing to swallow, the belief that I wasn't alone anymore. I had such an amazing family.
Daryl nodded, "he's a good kid."
"He asked me to teach him to use knives," I said, jerking my chin towards my knives on the nightstand.
"He's a strong kid too." Daryl cleared his throat and changed the subject, I think because he realized I needed a moment to compose myself. "When we were out there, I kept having these feelings like I wished ya were the one watching my back and glad ya were in here safe. We found the ones putting those W's on the foreheads of Walkers."
Now he had my attention.
"They're dangerous," he said shaking his head. "Aaron and I ended up in one of their traps. They're smart, their hunters...dangerous," he repeated. He shook his head and pressed his lips into a firm line. "And they ain't that far away...now ain't the time to teach ourselves to be soft. We're strong...there was a guy out there we were tracking and I-I ah," Daryl chewed on his lip. "I lost him," Daryl shook his head and I could see he felt guilty about it. "We left him out there, and he's all on his own with those people out there...I just, feel like I coulda helped him, ya know?"
I nodded along with him, I did understand. My eyes locked on the floor as the rest of the last few days caught up to me. "...we lost Noah..." I was chewing on my lip again, shocked I hadn't tasted blood yet. "...and everything went bad. They stopped trusting us, but...our people were so upset they couldn't..." I sighed and shook my head. "Rick and Carol were gearing up for war and I just felt so trapped. I couldn't be myself and I couldn't do what-" I ran my free hand through my hair and sniffed. "I didn't sleep at all after that, I just paced the walls. I felt so trapped. It was just a different kind of cage. The next thing I knew I was training like I used to when I was there. I would start and lose time. I would remember making the decision to start, but I wouldn't be able to stop until I physically couldn't go any longer...Michonne found me, I think I scared her, but she needed my help. Sasha was freaking out, PTSD or something...so Michonne came and got me and we went outside the wall and I felt...better," I looked down in shame, because what kind of a person needed the danger of being outside the walls when we were finally safe.
Daryl didn't seem fazed at all. "You know that's why I go out, cuz I don't feel like me in here," he seemed to think for a minute than looked down at me seriously. "But we don't belong out there either Jo."
I gazed into his eyes for a long time and then felt a gentle smile cross my face. "Not just a pretty face huh Dixon?" I teased because I felt so raw and vulnerable I needed to lighten the conversation, if only for a moment.
"That's what they say," Daryl said earnestly.
I snorted and was amazed when I found myself smiling despite everything. I frowned very suddenly and pulled away so I was on my knees facing him. Daryl sat perfectly still, watching me curiously. His blue eyes were so incredibly clear and intense.
"You know I love you, right?" the words came out in a rushed whisper before I could lose my nerve again.
Daryl's smile was gentle and he reached out, his hand cupping the back of my neck to pull me into his chest. I expected passion but instead he was painfully gentle as he held me there, wrapped in his arms. "I know," he whispered into my hair. "I love ya too Jo."
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Hey guys, so this was a little bit of a fluffy chapter and a little bit short but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. As always please comment/vote! I really appreciate it!
So now I need your help. I'm struggling right now with a big decision in moving forward with the story and would love to hear your thoughts. So the next big thing to happen to our motley crew is the quarry and the moving of the walker herd, which separates everyone. Part of me wants Jo back in Alexandria kicking ass but the other part doesn't want to split her and Daryl up again so soon, though it would be a stretch to incorporate her into Daryl's story arc with Dwight. I think I know what I am leaning towards, but I'm curious what you think.
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