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Jo

It was after noon before we got everyone back into Alexandria. They followed us back from the landfill. Some on bicycles, and the rest piled into three garbage trucks. I didn't know why but as the gate slid closed with all of us inside a bad feeling went over me. I glanced over at Jadis and Tamiel, but they were speaking in low voices with Rick, Michonne, and Daryl. Tobin secured the gate. I cracked my neck and ran the tips of my fingers over my knives.

 Jadis's shrewd and hungry eyes were taking in our community and I didn't like it. These people were greedy scavengers and while I knew they had been here once before, inviting in through the front gate and showing them everything we had felt wrong. 

"What you fight for," she observed loud enough for me to hear. 

Rick nodded, stepping in front of her to draw her attention to him. "Not the place, the people, each other. You're a part of that now." 

Jadis narrowed her eyes at him. "We take, we don't bother - our way," she turned in a small circle, looking over our home. "Maybe another way..." she allowed. 

"Jo," Rick called my name. I cracked my neck and I stepped up next to them. "We've got a few last minute changes, we just wanted to run them by you."

Jadis looked confused as she looked back and forth between Rick and I. "Little, why? What Little know you not?" Jadis asked in her funny way, but the scowl on her face proved she was unhappy with the situation. I had the distinct feeling Jadis either didn't like or didn't trust Rick. It weirded me out a little to know she liked me.

"Jo understands Negan better than most," Rick explained patiently.

Jadis turned to look at me, pursing her lips. "Little know, Little lead, Little know Little lead better." She said in an almost sing songy rhythm that had my head hurting. 

I swore she did it on purpose, picking words and their meanings apart just to make it confusing to everyone listening to buy her more time while they struggle to find her meaning. As far as strategy went it was clever, though that made it no less obnoxious to be on the receiving end of it. 

"Rick is our leader," I said firmly before anyone else had managed to translate. Rick suddenly stiffened and I knew he had finally figured out she was questioning his leadership. I glanced at him and when I looked back at Jadis she was watching us closely, a sly, satisfied smirk on her face. 

Jadis sniffed. "If Little say so," she responded casually, lifting a shoulder as though it were nothing to her either way.

I sighed and glared at her. That only made her smile widen.

She turned her attention to Michonne. "Yours?" Jadis asked, lifting her chin to indicate Rick. 

I bit down on the inside of my lip, I knew exactly what a Jadis was about to ask. She was causing trouble again, just to cause trouble.

Michonne looked confused by her question. "Yeah, we're together," Michonne replied. 

Jadis nodded. "I lay with him after, you care?" she asked, cocking her head to the side as though it were the most normal question in the world to ask. 

Michonne's eyes widened and Rick looked back and forth between the two women awkwardly. 

"We should get back to work," Michonne said firmly. 

"Yeah..." Rick agreed backing away slowly. 

I couldn't contain my snort. Beside me Daryl coughed, turning his head, and covering his mouth with his hand. 

Rick and Michonne stepped off together glancing back over their shoulders at Jadis. She had made them both uncomfortable which had been her goal. I sighed as I realized I was left with Jadis. 

Jadis caught my eye and shrugged as if to say no harm asking. I lifted an eyebrow pointedly, letting her know that I knew exactly what she was up to. A full real smile broke across her face. She glanced first at Daryl and then looked around her. "Little fight for what hers."

I nodded, she wasn't wrong there. Her face became suddenly very serious. "Good," she responded. She cocked her head to the side as she studied my face. "Worry?"

I stared her dead in the eyes and let her see my resolve. "No," I said resolutely. 

A small pleased smile twisted Jadis's lips. "Good," she said. "We win."

I nodded. "Yeah." 

Then she turned and walked off to speak with Tamiel. 

I sighed again. The battle hadn't even started and I was already exhausted from dealing with them. 

"You okay?" Carl asked, coming up behind me.

I turned to face him lifting a brow.

"Don't give me that," he snapped. "You can't fool me and you know it." He said bumping my arm with his shoulder. He had to bend down to do it and it made me want to smack the pleased look off his face.

"You aren't funny Carl," I growled at him, but it only made him laugh. He was so relaxed, even in the face of the upcoming battle. Sometimes I worried about Carl, but on days like this, I couldn't help but be glad for all he had faced. It would ensure he survived and make him safe.

"I'm hilarious," he told me smugly. He stood next to me for a while watching Tamiel and Jadis speak together in low voices. "I don't like them," he said honestly.

I nodded. "They give me a bad feeling too," I confessed.

"Well I trust your instincts more than mine Little," he said flashing me a cheeky smile. 

I grunted and glared at him. 

He laughed for a minute and then his face became serious. He cleared his throat. "Jo," he said all humor gone.

I turned to look at him, not sure what was on his mind. The look on his face had me worried however. There were few things that Carl took seriously enough for his eye to be so grave. "This fight," he said cautiously. "If we lose...some of us are gonna die," he said firmly.

I pressed my lips together but didn't say anything as I waited for him to continue. The kid wasn't wrong. Other members of our group might say something reassuring and give him false hope to make him feel better, but that wasn't how Carl and I worked. We had always been open and honest with one another. He needed to know what was at stake always. Being over protected and naive had gotten a lot of kids killed. 

Carl stared me in the eyes. "He won't kill you, you know. He'll take you with him, like-"

I turned away from him then and he stopped talking but he didn't look away. He must feel pretty strongly about this to not back off. 

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Your dad already tried to convince Daryl that we should run," I growled out the words. I understood Rick, but it bothered me that more members of my family honestly thought I would leave them.

"You should," Carl agreed nodding. "But Dad's an idiot if he-"

"Hey," I snapped, correcting him. 

He scoffed in frustration and reached out, caught my shoulder and forced me to look at him. "I know you won't, because you're you. If he takes you he'll throw you into a cell," he said seriously. "And...just..." he shook his head. "I'm saying this all wrong." he said and he rubbed at his eye. "Just...don't let yourself go back to that place okay? You're better than that." And he turned without another word and walked away.

In the face of so much going on around us, Carl was worried about what might happen to me if Negan put me in another cage. My chest swelled. He was such a good kid, with a good heart. I watched him go up to Enid, she looked up at him with a teasing smile on her face, and I was glad. All the members of my family deserved to be happy, but Carl had experienced so much loss. 

People had always worried that Carl didn't feel or react the way he should. Even Negan had picked up on that early on, calling him a future serial killer, but there was so much to him that the others didn't see. He did feel, deeply. He was compassionate and loving, and he was willing to do whatever he had to do to protect his family. I snorted and shook my head. It was no wonder he and Rick butted heads constantly. They were the exact same.

The only difference was, Carl had been made by this world. I watched him check Enid's gun and motion to her knives. She sighed and adjusted her weapons and Carl nodded his approval. Then he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a hug. I wondered if Carl looked at the people around him and realized he was going to out live them all. It was a terrifying prospect, to know you would be the last one.

I glanced back at Daryl and Rick and truly wondered which one of us it would be. Who would be the last one standing? We had all been together for so long I couldn't imagine facing this world without any one of them. I glanced back over my shoulder at Carl and smirked. My money was on him.

I swiped a hand over my eyes. I needed to let go of these dark thoughts and turn my focus to what we had to do today. There was no room for error today.

Stop, reset.

I chanted for old times sake. I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, sending my emotions with it. Once everything was quiet in my head, I rested my hand on the handle of my kukri. I headed outside to the gates to help make some final preparations. Daryl was in the back of one of the empty trucks working with Rosita on the dynamite and C-4. I don't know why but it didn't surprise me to learn Daryl knew his way around explosives. I was going to have to ask him someday where he learned. For some reason I felt like the answer might just be Merle. 

Tara and I worked to move cars into position to block the approach. We didn't want The Saviors able to get too close with their trucks. It would be better to force them to come in on foot if the explosives failed. 

Once it started, Daryl and I would stay together. There had never been any doubt in my mind and when Rick looked for half a second like he was going to suggest we split up, Daryl had leveled a glare at him that had Rick's mouth clicking shut. There was a good chance we weren't going to survive this one, and neither one of us was willing to be without the other. It might be one of the most selfish decisions I have ever made. We were both leaders and both strong fighters, Rick could have used us in different places. But neither of us would be able to focus if we weren't together. And I didn't trust any one else at my back. 

When everything was ready we all took our positions. RIck was up on the fence with Carl, Jadis standing beside him. The two leaders right at the gate. Michonne had taken the snipers position atop the townhouses behind us. She was good, but she wasn't Sasha. Daryl and I were on the ground, just inside the gate on the front lines. We would be part of the group's first line of defense if things went wrong. Daryl had tried to convince me at the last minute to step back, or be up on the wall where there was an added degree of protection. But there was no chance. He knew that too, and I couldn't begrudge him for trying. If thought there was any chance of protecting him I would have taken it. 

Rick looked down at us. "Rosita, get into position, I'll signal you."

Rosita nodded and stepped forward so she was halfway hidden behind a car but tucked in near the gate. 

"And the walls gonna hold?" Rick confirmed. 

Rosita nodded, her eyes hard. "It'll hold," she promised, her hand clasped tightly around the detonator.  

Tara was standing shoulder to shoulder with Tobin behind me. I glanced back at her and gave her a small smile. Her eyes were worried and her hand tense on the stock of the rifle she held across her body. 

"You good?" I asked her, turning back to face the gate. 

"Ah yeah," she responded a little too quickly. 

I nodded. "Stay behind me," I told her. I pressed my lips together and let myself rock up onto my toes a few times, warming up. "If I'm fighting don't let any of our people near me but Daryl."

Tara sucked in a breath. I turned to meet her eyes. "I'm serious." I told her. It had been a long time since I had lost control like that, but I wasn't going to take a chance. Not when this fight was so important. 

She nodded. 

A turkey call came up from the garbage people standing at the fence. 

I looked back at Daryl who was standing beside me, we shared a long look. This was it. I let myself get lost in Daryl's eyes for just a moment. For just a second I let myself feel all of the things I felt for him, all the loves, hopes and fears I had every single day. Then at the end of that second I put it all away. I turned away from him so he wouldn't have to see it, because I knew it would hurt him. I closed myself down, shutting away each little piece of emotion like a door in my mind until all that remained was that dark, hollow place that could get things done. 

Seconds later I heard the sound of trucks approaching. One sounded like it had pulled up as close to the fence as our barricades allowed. I just hoped it was the one Negan was in, or this would be a fantastic waste of what few explosives we had. 

"All points are covered," a voice I recognized called out through a megaphone. "Every contingency is already met," Eugene explained. "I come armed with two barrels of the truth." Rosita had told us his decision to stay behind. To stay with The Saviors, but this was a new low, even for him. He was actively working with them against us. 

Outrage burned through me, how dare he stand with the people who had killed Abraham. Abraham who had done so much for him, who had protected him. Memories of the man who had been like a big brother to me surged and I had to fight them back. I gritted my teeth with the effort it took to remain impassive and cold. But that was what my family needed from me today. I had fourteen knives on me. I glided my fingers over the handle of one of the throwing knives on my thigh. One of them had that cowardly traitor's name on it. 

In front of me, Rosita stiffened. She had been with Eugene from the beginning. I could see how hard this was going to be for her. 

"A test is upon your and I'm giving out the cheat sheet." Eugene was standing on top of the first truck, beside him, strapped to the cab was something that looked suspiciously like a coffin covered in a tarp. A bad feeling went over me. This was Negan we were dealing with, and if he wasn't coming in with a blantent show of force, then he was planning on putting on some kind of show. 

"H-hello," Eugene stammered when he was able to look Rick in the eye. "I come salved with the hope that it is my dropped knowledge that you heed. Options are zero to none. Compliance and fealty are your only escape."

Tara whimpered behind me, but I didn't turn to face her. We would all face a moment where we had to decide where our loyalties lay. Eugene had chosen a side and so had we. The decision was done, made. Maybe another time I would feel more about it, but not when I was like this. When my brain was in this place everything felt so much simpler. 

Rosita shook her head angrily, tears in her eyes. I took a small step towards her, trying not to draw attention to myself. If she couldn't do it, knowing it would kill Eugene, I could. And I would. 

"Bottom-lining it, you may thrive, or you may die. I sincerely wish for the former for everyone's sake. The jig is up and in full effect," Eugene continued to yammer on and I found my eyes drifting over the trucks, trying to catch a glimpse of the man himself.  

Beside me Daryl started shifting his weight, his chest rising a falling rapidly. I could see his knuckles standing out where he gripped his rifle. He was as pissed as I was. 

"Will you comply, Rick?" Eugene asked. 

Rick stared down at him, his face hard and set. He looked down over each of us. I lifted my chin and let him see in my eyes what I wanted. We were going to end this, today.

"Where's Negan?" Rick asked simply, refusing to acknowledge any of Eugene's words.  

"I'm Negan," Eugene responded without hesitation. 

Rosita turned and met Rick's eyes. They were both struggling with this, with killing Eugene. I reached out and caught Rosita's hand. His words had sealed the deal. We were at war and he had chosen to side with the enemy. My fingers found her's and she handed the detonator over willingly. I met Rick's gaze unflinching and pushed the bottom. 

Rick flinched, ducking down, but nothing happened. I jerked in surprise and immediately pushed the button again. Nothing. I pushed it twice in a row in quick succession. Nothing. Rosita whirled to me and grabbed it back pressing the bottom frantically. Nothing. 

Rick stood and dropped his arm, signaling everyone to open fire. Before any of us could move the garbage people turned on us. They swung towards us, pointing their guns in our faces. We all froze, there was nothing left to do. Daryl, Tara, Rosita, Tobin and I were surrounded by a dozen of the garbage people, all with rifles aimed at us. At least half of which were pointing at me. I glanced up at the fence to see Jadis pointing a gun at Rick. She met my eyes and smirked triumphantly. I let her see in my eyes that another of my knives had her name on it. She looked away first. 

The garbage man closest to the gate dragged it open once they were sure none of us were going to do anything stupid. I held my hands up, but level with my shoulders, it was the closest I could keep them to my knives. 

Once the gate slid open the door to the truck parked just outside opened and Negan climbed out absolutely preening. Dwight was trailing just behind him. My knives were quickly becoming spoken for - four down left only ten for general fighting. Negan swung his bat up over one shoulder and swaggered over to the flat bed Eugene had been standing on. He waved him down. Eugene complied without hesitation. 

The Saviors opened the trucks, further disarming the explosives. They were useless now. No longer a piece for us to play. It wasn't great, but at this moment I was beyond having feels positively or negatively, my brain was in overdrive as it worked on a strategy. There had to be someway to get us out of this. Victory might not be possible anymore, but hopefully we could prevent a massacre. 

Negan's eyes glided over all of us. He met my gaze and held it for several long seconds. He looked mad, but in his eyes was something else. Regret? Disappointment? But it was only for me. When he turned to Rick he cracked his neck and his eyes narrowed dangerously. Now all there was, was anger.  "You ever hear the one about the stupid little prick named Rick who thought he knew shit about shit but didn't know shit and got everyone that he gave a shit about killed?" Negan pointed up at Rick with his bat. "It's about you," he said and that smile stretched its way across his face. That dangerous, predatory smile that didn't reach his eyes. 

I sucked in a breath. I needed to pick a target. I met Dwight's eyes behind Negan and he looked apologetic for just a second. So maybe he wasn't part of this. His eyes cut to Negan and then back at me. The knives under my arms weren't as good for throwing as the ones on my thighs, but I could make do. If he got close enough I would kill him with my bare hands if I had to. 

"Y'all are gonna want to put your guns down now," Negan warned. 

"No one drops anything," Rick responded instantly. His eyes cut to Jadis. "We had a deal," he growled. 

Jadis shrugged. "Tamiel came for the boat things, followed ones who took," Jadis shrugged. "Made a better deal."

Negan stepped forward, drawing Rick's attention from the woman pointing a gun at him. "You push me, and you push me and you push me, Rick," he cocked his head. "I mean you and my hot friend over there just tried to blow us up, am I right?" Negan asked and for just a second his eyes cut to me and there was a pleased glint in them. I expected anger, like he would finally get over whatever twisted feelings he had for me. Instead, he looked delighted that I had tried to blow them up, like he thought is was adoreable. What was wrong with him? 

When he looked back at Rick he was angry again. "I mean I get me, my people, but Eugene? He's one of yours. And after what he did, he stepped up. You people are animals. Universe gives you a sign and you just shove your finger right up it's ass," Negan chuckled humorlessly. "Dwight, Simon, chop-chop."

The two men climbed up on the flat bed and pulled off the tarp, revealing a coffin just as I had suspected. Tara sucked in a scared breath. I drew in a deep breath, centering myself. It was Sasha, it had to be Sasha. They set the coffin up so it was standing upright. That was at least a good sign. Negan climbed up beside the coffin. It was good, it put him closer to me and made him an easier target. 

"So, you don't like Eugene anymore," Negan said sighing. "You guys gotta like Sasha. I do too." he knocked against the coffin with his bat. "I got her right here, packaged for your convenience, alive and well," he promised. "Now, I brought her so I wouldn't have to kill all of you and not killing all of you, could get complicated. See, I know there's a lot of firepower left in there, Rick. So, Imma make this simple. I want all of the guns you've managed to scrape up. Yep, I know about those too. I want every last grain of lemonade you got left. The pool table, all the pool cues and chalk. I want a person of your own choosing...for Lucille. Daryl," Negan swung around, snapping his head to where Daryl stood beside me. "Oooh, I gotta get me my Daryl back," he growled. He pointed at his eyes and then at Daryl. "I see you," he growled darkly. Then his eyes met mine. "I warned you," he told me. "My hot friend will be coming as my special guest as well."

Daryl started towards Negan, I turned into him, blocking him with my shoulder and pressing my hand against his chest to stop him. Negan chuckled darkly. "Enjoy it Dixon, it's the last time you'll touch her," Negan promised Daryl. Two Saviors stepped towards us, pointing their guns in our faces. 

"Hands up," the closest one snapped. I raised my hands again, but I stayed close to Daryl. 

Negan turned back to Rick. "And I want it now!" he screamed. "Or Sasha dies," he continued calmly, his mercurial mood all the more frightening. "And then all of you." Negan flashed a jovial smile. "Probably," he added. Then, when Rick didn't respond he continued. "Come on Rick, just because I brought her in a casket doesn't mean she has to leave in it." Negan sighed. "You know what. You suck ass, Rick. You really do! I don't want to have to kill her Rick, I don't, but that is exactly what you are going to make me do!" 

I could see Rick's mind racing as he tried to come up with a plan. He licked his lips and took a step forward. "Let me see her," he ordered but his voice a hoarse, his bravado gone. 

Negan chuckled. "Alright, give me a second. I might have to get her up to speed, you can't hear shit inside this thing." Negan smiled. 

Negan knocked against the coffin with his bat. "Hey Sash, you're not going to believe this crap." 

He pulled open the casket. 

A walker surged out, it's jaws open and snapping only inches from Negan's throat. I leaned forward, my mouth opening eagerly. Sasha. It was Sasha.

"Holy goddamnit!" Negan screamed and he fell off the truck with the walker on top of him. 

I looked up towards Rick in time to see Carl swing around to the garbage people standing behind him and start shooting. 

Carl. 

Gunfire erupted all around us. Daryl swung towards the people behind us while I faced the other way. I pulled the rifle strapped across my back and emptied to into the group of Savior's surging towards the gate. I wasn't necessarily aiming to hit anyone as much as I was sweeping the gun back and forth to keep the men from charging the gate. 

Rosita flinched as she took a bullet. 

"Tara!" I screamed. Daryl and I stood side by side laying down cover as Tara ran up. Her rifle was in one hand and she pulled Rosita's arm over her shoulder with the other. She dragged her back behind us and to safety. My gun clicked empty and I threw it down. 

I heard a gunshot above us and turned to see Jadis shoot Rick in the leg. He dropped and Jadis kicked him off the wall. I barely aimed and I was still in motion when I pulled my hand back. I threw my first knife at her. She saw it coming and tried to get out of the way, but it slammed into her thigh. It wasn't life threatening but it would slow her down. I met her eyes and smirked up at her. Fear slid behind her eyes as I reached for the next knife that would kill her. 

Then Daryl was pulling me backwards out of the way of the open gate. I stumbled and had to look away from Jadis, breaking my focus. I straightened and glanced back at the group of Saviors. I had my next knife in hand when I saw him. Sasha hadn't gotten him. Her death had been for nothing. He was crouched behind the flatbed with Simon. I was an easy target and Daryl was going to drag me out of here any second, but it was worth the risk. I stood out in the open and pulled my hand back, ready to let the blade fly. Simon looked up at me in the same moment, pointed his gun at my chest and pulled the trigger. 

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Okay...that wasn't very nice...