Jo

I didn't sleep long, maybe an hour, but it felt like I had slept all night. I couldn't remember the last time I slept even that long. It was only a little after dawn when I heard the click of the door opening. My eyes snapped open and I was instantly alert. My heart thudded in my ears as I rolled onto my feet and dropped into a crouch. My hand slid down to rest on the handle of my knife.

The door swung open slowly, as though the intruder were trying to be quiet. I tensed and waited to see who is was. Part of my brain did realize the chances of it being an actual intruder were pretty slim but it wasn't that part that was in control right now.

I breathed out a sigh when I saw it was only Carol coming in from being on watch. I straightened slowly, watching her movements carefully making sure there was no threat. But she only laid her gun down on one of the tables and began moving around the small mess area getting breakfast ready.

I stepped out of the cage and approached. "Morning," I greeted.

She flinched as though she hadn't heard me and whipped around.

My body gave an involuntary jerk from her quick movement.

Stop, reset. And I was in control again. "I'm sorry," I said, forcing a small apologetic smile on my face.

Carol gave me a tight lipped smile. "You're very quiet," she observed. She ran her gaze up and down me and her eyes stopped on my shirt. I crossed my arms uncomfortably. If she and Daryl
were together I shouldn't still be wearing his clothes. I needed to go out and scavenge some of my own.

I nodded at her words though and sat down at one of the tables. She glanced at me thoughtfully for a few moments. "You didn't get much sleep." I could practically see the gears turning. This was not the same terrified house wife I met in Atlanta.

I shook my head. "I don't." The words were so simple and hid so much.

The door to the cell block clicked open and an old man with white hair limped out on crutches. One of his feet had been amputated above the ankle. He leaned heavily on crutches and my brain immediately filed him away as not being a threat. The jury was still out with Carol. She was not the woman I knew before and there was something about the calculating way she watched me that made me wary.

"Hello dear," the man greeted. He swung himself through his crutches towards me. He stopped, pinning the right crutch to his side so he could hold out his hand. "My name is Hershel. I have heard so much about you."

I arched a brow at Carol who shrugged. I was a little nervous what all he had heard. I clasped Hershel's hand. He shook it gently and gave it a warm squeeze. "You met my oldest daughter Maggie I believe and I have another, Bethy." Oh, great. He heard all about me from Maggie, who I almost attacked because I was caught up in my brain too much to realize she was trying to help me. "I have medical experience if you need anything." He said in a gentle voice. "I realize you have been through a terrible experience. But we are very happy to have you with us."

I nodded along but the whole experience was surreal for me. It was like I had run into him at a coffee shop or outside his church. This sweet old man could not have survived like this for this long in the world. Not now. His blue eyes were warm and genuine and I felt my chest constrict.

Deeper in the cell block a baby started to cry and more people were stirring.

It was like a vise clamped around my throat and I needed to get out of here. I quickly glanced back at Carol, trying desperately to keep my expression calm. "Do you need someone on watch?"

Carol looked up from the makeshift stove they had set up. She nodded slowly. "Just stay behind the pallets, there's binoculars out there. If you see anything, you come get us."

I nodded to show I understood and slid out the door into the open air. The sun was just starting to come up over the trees. It was the first sunrise I had seen in longer than I could remember. For the first time in a long time I felt like I could breathe again.

<><><><><>

Daryl

I woke up when Lil Ass Kicker started wailing. I had only napped an hour or so but we had shit to do today and with Merle and Jo locked in the next room together I couldn't lay around. I climbed out of bed, stretching my aching muscles. My ribs still hurt, Merle always had been able to throw one hell of a punch.

Everyone was down eating breakfast by the time I changed and made my way downstairs. Merle was sitting by himself off to the side. He flashed me a grin when I walked in and I narrowed my gaze at him. He looked far too pleased with himself, it put my teeth on edge.

Carol handed me a plate and I nodded a thank you, as I looked around for Jo. She was so quiet now I half expected to find her standing by herself in the corner. Carol noticed and leaned in, "she's out on watch."

I must have looked surprised because she shrugged. "She was awake when I came in and she offered."

"Did she sleep?" I asked in an equally quiet voice. Carol just shrugged and went back to dishing up plates.

I turned to head for the door, but stopped when Merle spoke up. "Don't worry little brother, I kept Barbie company for ya." Everyone's eyes were on me and Merle and I changed course so I sat on the stairs leading outside to eat. As though that had been my plan all along.

Part of me was pretty sure Merle was just trying to piss me off, but there was another part that wondered how 'friendly' they had become. She had known Merle a lot longer than she had ever known me. When she was afraid last night, even though she wouldn't admit that's what it was, she chose to stay out here where she felt safe, with Merle.

Rick came over. "We need to have a meeting. I want everyone in the cell block after breakfast, understood?"

Everyone nodded in agreement. Rick looked to me. "Where's Jo? I want her there too. She and Merle know The Governor the best."

I shrugged. Rick frowned at me and looked around at everyone else.

Merle spoke up from inside his cage. "Barbie's been out on watch since dawn."

Rick nodded, "I'll let her know about the meeting."

<><><><><>

Jo

"We're not leaving," Rick growled, punctuating his words by cocking his gun.

Rick had called everyone into the cell block to discuss the situation. Merle was still being kept behind the locked door and I had insisted on staying with him. I wasn't sure I could trust myself in the cell block yet. I had confidence in Merle's ability to protect himself. There were too many vulnerable people in Rick's care. And I still wasn't sure how I would do with people I didn't know if something happened. I had no idea what something might happen but I wasn't willing to take any chances with these people.

"We can't stay here," Hershel rumbled from his place on the steps. I looked above to where Daryl stood near a young blond I had been introduced to as Beth, and Carol. Daryl's face looked grim and tired and even from this distance I could see the bags under his eyes. He hadn't gotten much more sleep than me, and I was pretty sure he wasn't as used to it as me. He hadn't said a word to me when I came in for the meeting.

"What if there's another sniper?" Maggie asked. "A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds." Maggie looked better than the last time I saw her, more confident in herself and the tiny part of my brain that wouldn't shut off made a note that she was strong and a fighter: threat.

"We can't even go outside," Beth's voice quivered and I could hear the tears she was holding back. I let myself look at her and tried hard not to think of Kate. She wasn't a threat. Just like Katie. She was an innocent who needed to be protected.

Carol nodded grimly, "Not during the day light." Her words were pragmatic but when she met my gaze her's was cold and assessing. I wondered if I was acting crazy again. I quietly sat down in the chair behind Merle, slid my hands beneath my thighs and closed my eyes.

"If Rick says we are not running, we aren't running." Glenn snapped in a loud voice, trying to get everyone's attention. I just listened to him, I didn't need to look. There was no threat here in the prison and I didn't need to keep assessing everyone I met.

Stop, reset.

Merle leaned through the bars, his forearms resting against the metal. "No, better to live like rats," I could hear the sneer in his voice even though I couldn't see it. Merle could be a threat, a big one, but so far he was one of the ones I was most comfortable with. I was pretty sure I understood where I stood with Merle.

"You got a better idea?" Rick snapped. I could hear the impatience lacing his voice and resisted the urge to open my eyes and confirm I was right. 

"Yeah, we should have slid out of here last night. Lived to fight another day, but we lost that window didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now." Merle's voice growled with frustration.

Now I did open my eyes. I hadn't considered that the governor could box us in. I kept thinking of this place as being safe. My eyes flitted up to Daryl.

Daryl stalked along the cat walk, his gaze boring into his brother's. We ain't scared of that prick," he rasped.

Merle scoffed and shook his head as though that were the dumbest thing he had ever heard. "Ya'll should be." Merle drawled and I really, really agreed with him. They didn't know The Governor like we did. "That truck through the fence thing? That's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind but he's got the guns and the numbers and if he takes the high ground around this place? Shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

Merle's words ran through the group, leaving them all speechless for a moment. I felt the tightness of claustrophobia return to my chest. We could be trapped in here.

Then Maggie's shoulders stiffened. "Let's put him in the other cell block." She snapped, but her voice quivered and I realized she was afraid of The Governor as well.

I took a deep breath and finally spoke up. "No." I said just as Daryl said "Naw."

I glanced up at him and quickly looked away, dropping my gaze and pinching my lips shut. Months ago I wouldn't have hesitated to stand up and speak my mind. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I rubbed at my eyes which felt gritty and burned.

"Jo," Rick encouraged. "Please, tell us what you think."

I glanced back up at Daryl who nodded and then I looked at Rick. "He's got a point." I said standing up and moving so I was standing at the door near Merle but careful to leave some space between us. "You don't know him, not like we..." I swallowed hard, trying to find the words to make them understand who they were dealing with. "You only saw his public face, but behind closed doors..." I suddenly felt like there was no moisture in my mouth. I tried to take a deep breath but then realized I was already practically panting. "The things he does, and likes doing..." I could hardly get the words out now and I gripped the bars so hard I could feel the metal biting into my skin, but I had to get the words out. They had to know. "He takes pleasure in pain." The last words came out quietly but everyone could hear them.

There was a bang of a cell door slamming and it made me jump back from the door. I looked up and saw Daryl had hit or kicked the door closest to him. He had his back to the group and I could see the corded muscles in his arms tremble as he balled his hands into fists. I took a few quick steps back to my chair and say down. My breathing was still off and I needed to be able to focus to get it right.

"This is all you!" Maggie suddenly screeched. Or maybe it wasn't sudden and I just hadn't been paying attention. "You started this!" She yelled, jabbing her finger at Merle.

Merle just shrugged and shook his head, though I saw his shoulders sag a little. He was genuinely trying to help them. Just like he had tried to help me.

"What's the difference who's fault this is?" Beth snapped, her soft voice rising. She moved to the top of the stairs and started marching down them towards Rick. "What do we do?" Her eyes were wide and looked like she was barely holding back tears. She trusted him so much it scared me. Kate's blind trust in me had been what got her killed.

I breathed out through my nose. Stop, reset. And in through my mouth. Stop, reset. I closed my eyes and dropped my head in my hands. It helped. I could think again.

"I said we should leave." Hershel said pronounced in his calm, soothing voice. I opened my eyes and was surprised to find I had control of my breathing.

"Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here." Hershel was the one talking, but I was watching Rick. His eyes kept ranging around him, and he began shifting his weight from foot to foot. Something was wrong with him. Something was wrong with him like there was something wrong with me.

Suddenly he whirled and started striding towards Merle and I, his eyes set and empty. I jumped to my feet, not wanting to be sitting down if Rick was coming in here looking like that. He was for sure a potential threat.

"Get back here!" Hershel roared, pulling himself up to standing on his crutches. Rick paused. "You're slipping Rick, we've all seen it, we understand why but now is not the time. You once said this is not a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my families life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something."

I was ready to stand up and interfere if I had to. I recognized the look in Rick's eyes. But too late I realized I couldn't do anything to help the group locked behind the door. I tried to catch Daryl's eye to somehow make him understand what was happening, but he was watching the wrong thing. His eyes were on Hershel.

Rick stood there for a few moments, his eyes locked on the ground. Everyone was silent and watching him, waiting for him to decide. Finally, he nodded and the tension in his body leached away and his shoulders sagged. He kept nodding as he turned to face Hershel.

"You're right." He agreed. "I just need a minute okay?"

Hershel watched him for a long time. I felt like the old man saw into Rick and seemed to understand. Finally he nodded. "Alright Rick, we'll be waiting,"

Rick gave him a grim nod and left. He walked towards us and unlocked the door but didn't lock it behind himself as he marched out the exit. The group was silent for a few moments before Carl slowly stood and sedately followed his dad. It hadn't been that long ago that I had seen the kid, but he looked about a thousand years older. He gave me a grim nod as he passed and followed his dad out the door.

<><><><><>

Daryl

Carol and Beth had taken Lil Ass Kicker into the kitchen to feed her. Merle had retreated to his cell to give them room. Jo still sat in the chair she had been in earlier looking lost and exhausted. I wanted to go talk to her but didn't know what to say after what she had said about The Governor. Guilt lashed through me again and again as I thought of all the things I should have said to her all those months ago when she left the group. I could have convinced her, I know I could have. 

The door clicked open and Rick and Carl came in. Jo startled out of her thoughts and tensed until she saw it was them. Even across the cell block I could see her hand drop to her belt. She breathed a deep sigh when her hand touched her knife like the damn thing was a security blanket. My fault.

Rick strided into the cell block, pausing at Maggie and Glenn's cell. "Take watch," Rick said holding out his keys to Maggie. "Eyes open, head down. You understand?"

He looked more in control than earlier and I looked at Carl who had stopped near Lil Ass Kicker instead of following Rick. He was one tough kid and I wondered what advice he had given his dad.

Maggie nodded and scooped up her rifle. Her eyes flitted to Glenn before she moved towards the door with a determined stride. There had been a tension there since I got back and I was pretty sure it had something to do with my brother.

Rick motioned Hershel, Glenn, Michonne and I to the far corner of the cell block. "Fields filled with Walkers," he reported in a low voice. Looked like group meeting time was over. "I didn't see any snipers out there but we will keep Maggie on watch." Rick said firmly.

"I'll get up in the guard tower,  take out half them Walkers, give these guys a chance to fix the fence." I offered, motioning to the others.

"Or use some of the cars to put the bus in place," Michonne suggested. I glanced at her and nodded. I wasn't entirely convinced I would trust her at my back in a fight but she had some good ideas when our interests lined up.

Hershel shook his head. "We can't access the field without burning through our bullets."

I chewed on my thumb nail as I tried to think of some way to clear that field without guns. It would be risky going in hand to hand. Glenn was still injured and he wouldn't trust to fight with Merle and with how protective he had been of Maggie I doubted he would let her join us. I didn't trust Michonne. I also didn't know if Jo would be up to something like that yet if at all. From what I could see it would be a long time before she could fight with a group. There were just too many factors for hand to hand and I would run out of arrows before I made enough of a dent to make a difference. 

"So we're trapped in here. There's barely any food or ammo." Glenn's voice was high with stress and he was barely holding it together.

I shrugged. "Been here before. We'll be all right." I assured him. Even with The Governor's men on the roads I knew I could get out and make runs without being seen.

"That's when it was just us," Glenn snapped back, his anger rising. "Before there was a snake in the nest." He ground out the words and I lost my temper. We had bigger problems to worry about and I was tired of Glenn's attitude.

"Man we goin to go through this again? Merle's staying here, he's with us now. Get used to it." I snapped. 

"Get used to you bringing back some crazy girl we have to take care of?" Glenn asked, taking an aggressive step towards me. "Just another mouth to feed and someone else we have to worry about killing us in our sleep."

I saw red at that. Merle was one thing, but Jo hadn't done anything to Glenn. I took a step further into Glenn's space so our chests nearly touched. "You wanna rethink that." I growled. "They're here and they're stayin." 

"Hey," Rick said taking a step towards us.

I side stepped away shaking my head. "All y'all." I snapped glaring at Rick. He wasn't helping the situation at all keeping them locked up. I took off up the stairs before I did something I would regret later.

<><><><><>

I sat on the bottom bunk of me cell, fiddling with an arrow, trying to figure out what I could say to convince everyone that Jo and Merle weren't the threats they needed to be worried about. Everyone was so caught up in their own bullshit they were loosing the forest through the trees. I had never been good with words and was even worse at getting people to listen to me.

Carol appeared in the door and leaned against the frame. She was looking at me expectantly and I resisted the urge to sigh. I was tired and didn't want to fight anymore. I knew Carol didn't like Merle and didn't want him here. But as usual Carol surprised me. "I haven't had a chance to say. I'm glad you came back."

I scoffed and shook my head. "To what? All this?" I asked motioning around my bare cell with the tip of my arrow.

She frowned at me and I felt like I was being scolded. I was being an ass and I knew it.

"This is our home." She said, moving closer to me.

I nodded and looked down. "This is a tomb." I said quietly, finally voicing to Carol what had been running around through my head but I didn't dare say out loud.

"That's what T-Dog called it. Thought he was right till you found me." She gave me a small grateful smile then her face stilled and she looked at me with a very serious look in her eye. "He's your brother, but he's not good for you. Don't let him bring you down. After all, look how far you've come."

And we both chuckled and I nodded. She was right, Merle hardly brought out the best in anybody.

"Jo-" Carol started to say, lifting her eyes to mine.

"Yeah? What about her?" I tried not to sound defensive but when Carol arched a brow I realized I had failed.

"She's not okay yet," Carol said a little cautiously as she studied my face, watching for my reaction.

I nodded, pinching my lips together. I knew that, I knew she wasn't okay. There was something still very wrong with her, but I wasn't willing to abandon her because of what had happened to her. It wasn't her fault. She just needed people to give her a little time.

"But," Carol continued, her eyes softening. "We'll help her be okay." And she gave me a gentle smile and reached out to squeeze my hand. I stiffened a little at the touch, but as usual Carol ignored my reaction. She never took it personally. "It's what we do, we're family."

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