I have no words you guys. We reached 200k. I can't believe it. Thank you. Just thank you! All of you, the ones who vote and comment and my silent readers as well. You all have made this story happen. Any time I have considered leaving it your enthusiasm has always reignited and inspired me. Thank you!

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Daryl

I sat up in the dark, musky attic for what felt like hours. The walls were too close and not being able to see my hand in front of my face made it hard to think. But after what felt like the first hour my heartbeat finally slowed and I was able to think clearly again. After what felt like a second hour I was convinced we had just overreacted. I coulda stayed in the damn closet downstairs and it wouldn'ta mattered. The Saviors weren't coming to our house and I just needed Carl to come give me the all clear.

The kid had sworn to me he would take care of Jo. When I first climbed my ass up here and looked back down the trap door at him he had met my eyes like a man and promised me he wouldn't let anything happen to her.

I didn't want to think too hard on it, but if I was being honest I trusted his word more than I trusted Rick. Rick had too many responsibilities, too many people to protect. He had to think of the group as a whole, it made him a good leader. But Carl would take care of his family. And Jo was his family. He was a tough kid. He wouldn't let anything happen to her.

The panicked feeling I had since I left her downstairs finally died down some. I had been gone for weeks and she had been fine. But what happened yesterday had changed things. Jo was strong and capable but now she was vulnerable and it was messing with my head. I cracked my neck and took a deep breath.

Then I heard the front door open and slam shut hard enough to rattle the windows in the house. Too hard for anyone who lived here who knew Lil Ass Kicker might be napping and Jo was hurt and resting. It was a warning, had to be. The Saviors were in the house.

I swung my crossbow around into my hands and the weight of it made me feel better.

"It'll go a hell of a lot easier if you just tell him where the goodies are," I froze at the sound of that voice. "Then you don't get your cookie jar raided."

He was here. That son of a bitch was downstairs. He was here, in the house and I was stuck up in the dark, stuffy attic. My heart was pounding too loud for me to hear what Rick said back. 

"Don't be rude Rick, the good doctor just wants to take a peek in the medicine cabinets. Now," he said chuckling knowingly. "Who else is here?"

He knew.

My grip tightened on my crossbow. I could end this right now. I leaned forward to lifted the trap door. It didn't move. I jerked on it roughly, but it was stuck. Not stuck, locked. I ground my teeth together. Carl. Carl had locked me up here.

I pulled at the neck of my shirt as sweat started running down my back. It hadn't seemed so hot up here a couple minutes ago. I pulled at the door again. I couldn't stay up here. She was down there and she was too hurt to fight, too hurt to take care of herself and he was here.

"Seems we have a patient in the basement doc," his voice was muffled and I knew he was headed towards the stairs. I could hear his boots on the floor.

Jo, he was headed for Jo.

I had to get out of here. I pulled at the trap door. I didn't know I had dropped my crossbow til both of my shaking hands were wrapped around the slim edges of the door.

His laugh echoed through the house just as his boots stopped making noise. He was on the stairs. I snatched up the crossbow and raised it, ready to smash it against the door. When I lifted it, the shaking in my arms distracted me and I stopped. If I broke through he would hear it. He would hear it and he would punish every one of them for helping me. Hiding me.

He would kill one more of us with that bat. I couldn't save her from him. I couldn't help her. Not without endangering every one of the people here. I was just as useless as Rick. Just as trapped. 

I couldn't breathe. I was gasping and my heart was thundering out of control. I pressed my shaking hands flat against the trap door and tried to force myself to breathe. I tightened my hands into shaking fists. 

I tried to remember what Jo used to do when she had a panic attack. And as much as I didn't want to admit it I was pretty sure that's what this was. There was something she said, or counted or something. I couldn't focus on it, I had never really asked, I had just tried to distract her. 

The house was quiet now and that made it that much worse. 

Carl was here. He wouldn't let him take her. And Jo...she wouldn't go without a fight. I was useless up here. I had to trust that they could handle it.

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Jo

"Well, would you look at this doc, it's my hot friend," Negan's voice was teasing and his smile cruel as he twirled the bat playfully in his hands.

I scowled up at him from my place on the bed. I didn't want to be flat on my back when he was here. Some long forgotten instinct was telling me there was a predator in the room and I needed to be on my feet. I struggled to sit up, to do something, but Carl's hand tightened on my shoulder. I'm not sure when it happened, but Carl was stronger than me know, and easily held me in place.

"What are you doing here?" Carl demanded before I could say anything.

Negan's eyes fell to Carl and he smirked but didn't answer as he turned to look at me. He cocked his head to the side and waited for me to acknowledge him.

I narrowed my eyes at him, scowling, but that only seemed to delight him more and he flashed me a suggestive smile.

"Why are you here?" I asked my voice coming out weaker than I had hoped. I was all out of badass. I don't really know why it bothered me, after he had seen me yesterday there was nothing for me to hide anymore. That didn't however, make me any less uncomfortable having him in my bedroom. 

"New doc," Negan said gesturing over his shoulder. "Want him to have all the best toys so we're visiting, making the rounds, letting him take his pick."

I narrowed my eyes at Negan. "So you're taking him around to steal medical supplies?" I asked incredulously.

It wasn't an actual question and we both knew it.

"Yep," he made the P pop playfully. "Making the rounds. Went to the Hilltop first so he could take care of what was left behind."

"Did he find what he was looking for?" I asked tightly.

"Nope," Negan popped the P again and it set my teeth on edge. "Which was surprising give the way we left...Hilltop...I expected it to be there, but it was gone."

Me, he had gone looking for me. 

"So you came here?" I asked tightly. Just the thought of him going back to look for me was terrifying. Why would he? Why would he care?

"Whatever the good Doc wants, he gets," Negan responded.

"Even if you have to steal it," I snarled.

Negan's smile lit up his entire face, but it wasn't his real one. I had seen that. It wasn't his cruel one though either. This was a strange combination of the two that left me feeling terribly insecure. "It isn't stealing when it already belongs to me, sweetheart." The smile disappeared and he was dead serious as he spoke the last.

Unconsciously I reached up and gripped Carl's wrist. I don't know if it was to prevent him from rising to Negan's obvious baiting, or to make myself feel better. I wished I could say with certainty it was the first. I didn't want to be afraid. But I was too tired and too hurt not to be.

Negan watched the motion but didn't respond. He didn't miss a thing and I hated him. 

Carl gave my shoulder another squeeze but this one was meant to be reassuring.

Negan smirked at us for another minute before he glanced back at Dr. Carson. "Well doc, you might as well make yourself useful, instead of just standing there with your thumb up your ass."

Dr Carson looked back and forth between us in confusion. After a moment Negan turned towards the doctor his eyes narrowed in annoyance when the doctor didn't leap into action. "Chop, chop doc," Negan snarled his voice was like a knife, sharp and dangerous. "Your patient is waiting. Gotta get my hot friend here patched up like new. Get her back in fighting shape!" he chuckled cruelly and slid his tongue along his lower lip. 

Dr Carlson stared at Negan unable to keep his emotions off of his face. Lucky for him, Negan's full attention was on me and he didn't notice Carson's disgust. I cleared my throat and it was enough to startle Carson out of his thoughts. He jumped forward into motion. His hands were shaking slightly as he stepped up next to the bed.

Carl let go of me when the doctor approached and crossed his arms over his chest aggressively. He puffed himself up and didn't move as the doctor approached. Carson glanced worriedly over his shoulder at his new boss.

Negan was leaning casually against the door frame watching the exchange in amusement. When the doctor looked at him he just raised his eyebrows as though to say, 'not my problem.'

Carl was amusing him, this whole situation was amusing him. I scowled at him.

"Careful hot friend," Negan said in a light, teasing voice. "Your face might get stuck like that."

I narrowed my eyes some more. "It would save me time and energy." I growled at him.

Negan laughed. "Come on doc, hop to, can't have my hot friend giving herself frown lines."

Carson swung back around and lifted his eyebrows as he looked from Carl and back to me. Carson was just as lost as we were, and just as trapped. I felt sorry for the man. I shot Carl a warning look. "It's okay Carl," I told him. "He's helped us before."

Carl glanced back at me as though checking to make sure I was serious. I nodded to him. Carl's jaw tightened and I could tell he didn't like it, but he stepped aside anyway. He didn't go far however. He leaned against the wall, his eyes locked dangerously on Negan and his fingers mere inches from the knife at his waist.

It wasn't hard to tell what he was thinking and I was suddenly very, very happy he hadn't had much time to practice throwing his knife. I sighed, just what I needed another testosterone led self-appointed protector. What I did need was to get back on my feet as soon as possible so everyone would stop acting like I was a damsel in distress. The need to get them to all back off and prove I could take care of myself was almost irrationally overwhelming. I took a few deep breaths to steady myself. 

Carson stepped up to the bed drawing my attention from my unpredictable teen protector. "May I?" he asked, motioning to the bed.

I nodded and he perched on the edge of the bed next to me. He reached out and gently touched the bandages around my abdomen. "Who bandaged you up?" he asked in a voice that was trained to remain calm and keeping those around him calm no matter the situation.

"A member of our group," I said.

He nodded. "They did a good job," he allowed. "A little loose if you have broken ribs, but a good job nonetheless."

"Her girl friend was our doctor," I stared at Negan as I said the words so he would know it was his fault. It had been one of his men who had killed Denise and taken her from us. And even though Dwight had been the one to pull the trigger I absolutely blamed Negan.

Negan didn't say anything however, for once he ignored my baiting. Instead, he met my gaze and his eyes were serious in a way I didn't understand. I squirmed under their intensity and turned back to Dr. Carson, hating that I felt like I had lost somehow by being the first to look away.

"Well, she taught her well," he concluded. "But to take a look at you I'll have to unwrap it."

I nodded unsurprised.

He glanced back over his shoulder at Carl and then Negan meaningfully before turning back to me. "You're wearing..." he dragged off and I knew what he meant. With the straps showing, it was obvious I was only wearing a bra under the bandages.

Negan cleared his throat. "Hey kid, why don't you scamper off and find your daddy."

Carl stiffened, glaring back at Negan and crossed his arms again. Making it obvious he wasn't going anywhere.

Negan chuckled low in his throat. He looked back and forth between Carl and I. "Your scowl is pretty good kid. Did you learn it from the lovely Mrs. Dixon over there?" When Carl didn't respond again Negan grunted in annoyance and his face became serious. "Don't worry kid, something happens to her she can't bring me shit," then he winked at Carl. "But don't worry, I'll protect the lady's honor."

Now I was mad. I was scared and mad and tired and it was not a good combination. I was out of patience and the energy to control myself. I gritted my teeth and glared at Negan. "Stop picking on him," I snapped, my rising anger made me bold. "He's just worried about me and you're being a bully."

Negan's face stilled for a moment and something serious moved in his eyes. I didn't know if it was a memory or if he just didn't like me ordering him around in front of his new doctor. He pressed his lips into a hard line. "Run along kid," he ordered. "Don't worry, nothing will happen to our girl here."

Carl's jaw tightened. "Jo doesn't belong to anyone," Carl growled and when I nodded to him again he stalked out of the room, slamming his shoulder roughly into Negan's.

I stiffened as I waited for Negan to react. Instead he turned and watched Carl stalk away. Then he turned back to look at me and whistled, laughing. "Man, I love that kid! He has got some balls."

I sighed wearily and turned back to Dr. Carson. "Let's just get this over with," I grumbled.

Carson's voice was low. Almost too low for Negan to hear. "If you don't want-" he started to say, but I cut him off.

"Not really an option doc," I responded grimly. No part of this was my decision and I wasn't naive enough to think Negan would just let me pass on the medical attention he had gone to so much trouble to bring me. I also thought it was even less likely he would be willing to leave the room. At first I thought it was because he was an asshole, but I watched him, as he watched the doctor, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. In his own twisted way I think he was trying to protect me just as much as Carl and Rick and Daryl...I really needed to get out of this bed and back on my feet. Then Daryl and I could leave on the run and I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. 

Carson just nodded. "I'll need you to sit up so I can unwrap it," he said apologetically.

I nodded tightly. This was going to hurt. I counted to three in my head, and then I pushed myself up. I sucked in a breath as sharp pain cut through me. I shoved myself forward, determined to do this on my own, but the searing pain was too much and I didn't have control of the muscles. I fell forward unable to hold myself up. My minds reaction to the pain was immediate. Suddenly nothing mattered, and I couldn't focus, I couldn't think who was here and what had been going on. All that mattered was getting the white hot pain to stop.

Carson caught me and it surprised me. I wasn't thinking clearly and I tried to jerk back away from him. He was a stranger and I didn't want a stranger touching me. Not like this, not when I was helpless.

Somehow he must have understood because his hands became very light and very still. He didn't move, neither to let me go or to get me to do something different.  He simply held me up with a gentle hands until I calmed. It took longer than I wanted to admit. My heart was pounding and I was panting, but I wasn't sure if it was from pain or from what had just happened. 

He started to reach for the bandage but he couldn't hold me up and unwind the bandage. I nearly fell once more before Negan made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. He came over to the bed, leaned the damn bat against it and reached forward to touch me.

I tried to pull back but I couldn't. Carson's hold was firm. "I need you to hold still," he said. "You could cause a lot of damage moving around this much without proper support on those ribs. Do you want a punctured lung? I'm not a surgeon," he said in a grumpy voice. I guess I had just reached the end of Dr. Carson's seeming inexhaustible patience.  

I fought the shaking that was going through my body as Negan set his large hands over my bare shoulders. His grip was more sure and more firm than Carson's as he supported me easily. He was only inches away and I could smell the leather from his jacket and the soap he used. He was too close. I wanted to pull away but I couldn't. I was trapped. My stomach contracted and it took everything in me not to throw up all over him. I pinched my eyes closed and waited for it all to be over.

He cleared his throat but didn't say anything. Maybe he understood, maybe he didn't care. Either way I was thankful he didn't try to talk to me.

I was so distracted I didn't realize when the full bandage came off. It wasn't until Carson's cool hands touched my skin that I jumped. Negan's hands tightened, so I didn't jostle my ribs and hurt myself. My eyes snapped open and I found myself less than a foot from Negan's dark brown eyes. Even this close it was hard to see the line between the iris and the pupil. There were lines between his eyes as he watched my face with something that might have been concern. 

It made me incredibly uncomfortable. 

"You can lay back now," Carson said in a very business like tone somewhere out of my line of sight.

I tried to do it on my own, but Negan ignored me. His hands were firm as he gently guided me back down onto the pillows.

Then he stepped back to give Carson room to work. I didn't even glance at Carson. He wasn't the threat in the room, Negan was, and every instinct in me was screaming at me to not let him out of my sight. 

Negan's eyes ran over my exposed stomach and his eyes widened, but it wasn't sexual or suggestive in any way. Instead it was shock. He whistled under his breath.

"You have been hanging around with the wrong crowd sweetheart," he said seriously.

I snorted. "Tell me about it," I snapped glaring up at him. I didn't like him here, didn't like him seeing me like this. I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone. It was his fault I was hurt this badly. Everything could be traced to him, he started it. 

Carson's hands were gentle and cool as he ghosted them across my rib cage. He looked grim as he gently poked and prodded my ribs. I flinched away from his touch five times. He nodded as though he wasn't surprised and then he slid is hands over my sternum. He was being very careful of how and where he touched me. Now that I could think I realized there was something incredibly non-threatening about Carson.

I grunted when he pushed on my sternum as pain radiated through all of my abdomen. My breath caught in my chest and for a second all I could see was lights flashing behind my eyes.

"Careful doc," Negan growled defensively from beside the bed.

I closed my eyes. I just wanted him to go. But at the same time, I was grateful he spoke up. I did not want the doctor doing that again. I wasn't sure if I would be able to remain conscious.

"Well, Jo you have some impressively broken ribs," Carson said after another few painful moments.

I ground my teeth together. It's not like it was new information. I knew what broken ribs felt like. I hadn't needed to go through this painful and humiliating experience just to be told something I already knew.

"She got herself knocked in the noggin pretty good couple days ago too," all the words were right, but the tone of Negan's voice was wrong. If the doctor noticed he didn't say anything to draw attention to it. He simply focused at the task at hand and I had to admire the man's ability to read a situation.

Carson nodded silently and moved his hands over my skull, his fingers were gentle as he felt along the edge of the already closed cut. "Seems fine," he told me. Then he looked me in the eyes. "What else?"

"That's it," I told him.

Carson scowled at me. "I'm serious Jo, you need to tell me right now."

"No, it's just the ribs." I told him.

He nodded, though he didn't look like he believed me. "Okay," he said, his disbelief evident in his voice. "You will need to sit up while I wrap you back up."

Negan stepped forward to help me and I leveled my best glare at him. I expected him to chuckle and make a joke out of it, but instead he looked at me grimly. "You're hurt," he said firmly. "And you need help, so let me help you," and he gently guided me back up, easily supporting my weight as Carson re-wrapped my ribs.

It was worse this time, so much worse. I closed my eyes against the pain. He was wrapping much tighter than Tara and pain radiated through my whole body. I tightened my jaw against it.

"Shh," his voice cooed quietly. His fingers moved in what I suppose was meant to be a soothing pattern.

Once Carson was done Negan helped me lay back down and then stepped back to lean against the door frame once more, putting distance between us and giving Carson room.

Carson reached down into his bag and held out a bottle of pills. "Two every six hours for three days," he said sternly, "and I want you resting for a full week. You can start to get up and move around next week but only small things, nothing athletic. No runs, no going out from behind the wall. No throwing knives." Carson said sternly as he pointed at me.

I lifted an eyebrow in surprise but he just shook his head. "I remember you, and if I didn't your reputation certainly proceeds you." He opened the bottle and held out two pills. 

I stared at the pills, but made no move to take them.

Negan started to chuckle. "She won't take 'em doc," he said swiping at the corner of his mouth. "Not while I'm here. Wouldn't want to risk what might happen when you let your guard down and cut loose a bit, would you hot friend?" He ground out the last words.

There was some significance to what he called me at any given moment and if I had been more on top of things I would have paid closer attention. But I was just too tired to play mind games with a psychopath.  

I jerked my gaze from Negan's and focused on Dr. Carson's kind eyes.

"Just leave them on the night stand. I'll take them later." I promised him.

Negan laughed again, this one long and sincere. "Man I love that. Girl can barely sit up without help and still won't let herself be put down when the wolves are in with the flock."

I grit my teeth. "You aren't wolves," I said firmly. I leveled my gaze on him, summoning every bit of scary I had left in my head. "They came and I killed all of them."

Instead of looking intimidated he just looked sort of wistful. I had guessed wrong, and I hated myself a little bit. I was just making things worse for myself. When I lost my temper and was scared I tried to be scarier, every single time. With Negan it never seemed to intimidate him, instead he liked it. I think it was his version of flirting. I closed my eyes. I didn't know what to say or do to get this man away from me. I didn't know what I had done in the first place to attract this kind of attention.

That wasn't true. Of course I knew. I had thrown myself in front of him, tried to get him to like me to save Daryl. But instead of taking me over Daryl he had left me behind, time and time again. He had had every opportunity but he never did. It didn't make sense. No more sense than this two-man supply run. I was convinced he was here because of me, but he wasn't taking me with him. It didn't make any sense. 

When I lifted my eyes once more Carson was standing back away from the bed shifting his weight uncomfortably and Negan...Negan was standing exactly where he was before with his arms crossed over his chest but his eyes were different. 

"Why are you here?" I asked again, hating that this time I sounded a little desperate. I just wanted him to leave.

"Why don't you go check the medicine cabinet in the can doc," Negan said, he jerked his chin towards the door and clucked like you do at a horse.

Carson glanced back at me apologetically. He understood what was going on, maybe better than I did, but there was nothing he could do, so he slipped out the door. Negan closed it behind him.

I swallowed. There was no reason for the door to be closed. The knife was on the nightstand and I wanted it. I must have done something to indicate that because Negan made a noise in the back of his throat. He stalked across the room and snatched up the knife holding it out to me.

"You think I'm no better than that shit head I gutted for you?" Negan asked severely. He snorted humorlessly and shook his head. "If it makes you feel better Mrs. Dixon," he pressed the blade into my hand. "Then there you go. Have at it. You going to kill me?" He asked his voice rising.

I looked down at the knife. I couldn't kill him. There was no way I would be able to strike fast enough to catch him by surprise. Not when my ribs were broken. Not to mention I had no idea what kind of contingencies he had in place if he didn't come back. For all I knew our outer wall was surrounded and he had just come in by himself. 

When I didn't respond he took several deep breaths as though he were calming himself.

I looked down at the knife. This was the second time he had armed me himself in order to make me feel better. I didn't understand it. It didn't make sense. All the possibilities running through my head were disorientating and made my head spin. "Why are you here?" I asked again in defeat.

Negan's face went very serious for a second and my stomach dropped. "You know why I'm here," he said gravely. I resisted the urge to scoot backwards away from him. I didn't want him anywhere near me. Then that sick twisted smile broke across his face. "Like I said, new doc, wants to make sure he has all the best toys. So I took him on a driving tour, let him see the sights. Lucky thing we found you here Mrs. Dixon. Hurt as you were you could have been in real trouble."

I lifted my chin since it was the only thing I really could do to look tough. "I'm fine." I growled out.

"You aren't fine, sweetheart and them leaving you here with the kid to look after you? They are really looking out for you."

I looked away from him and ground my teeth together.

"Carl can handle himself." I promised him.

Negan chuckled. "Oh yes he can. In fact aside from you my lovely Mrs. Dixon I do believe that kid scares me more than anyone I have ever met in the new world."

I was all prepared to defend Carl, but then stopped and I scowled, his words catching me off guard. "Me?" I asked unable to hide my surprise.

Negan took a step closer and met my eyes. His were soft once more, dark and deep and...

"You, sweetheart," his voice was low and gruff and he pointed at me as he said the words. Then he stopped and he gazed down at me. He ran his eyes over me and around the room. He sank his teeth into his lower lip and he sucked on it thoughtfully. I glanced around trying to see what he was seeing.

"Ricky boy and his chocolate ninja are going on a run to bring me more shit," he said thoughtfully. He pressed his lips together in a disapproving line. "Well shit!" He exclaimed. "I never thought I would be pissed about that...but that just leaves you with the kid and and the girl?"

I sniffed. "No, Gabriel lives next door."

"Gabriel. The creepy ass useless priest? So yeah, Rick is wandering off leaving you injured and only the kid to watch over you and his little sister...and which one of you do you think the budding psychopath will choose to protect?"

"It would never come to that." I growled, shoving myself up on my elbows despite the pain.

"Oh right, because when danger comes swaggering through that door you, my hot friend, will be the first one to throw yourself in front of it."

He paces an angry line across the room and I went cold over the sudden feeling of deja vu. Daryl and I had just fought about this. I needed him to leave, now.

"Well now that shit just isn't going to fly..." he muttered under his breath.

I arched a brow challengingly. "What are you going to do about it?"

He leaned forward, spreading his hands on the foot of the bed and growled in frustration. "Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. I'm going to go collect my new doctor and tell you to feel better."

My confusion must have shown on my face because he stalked closer. "You think I would take you with me and lock you up in one of those cells? Have my men torture you until you break" he asked, his voice lightly challenging.

Just the thought of that had my pulse racing in terror. I had lived through that once I wasn't sure there was enough of me left to survive it again. 

He saw it on my face because he shook his head. "Someone already did that to you and I'm betting that someone isn't alive anymore." 

I ground my teeth together. "You think you leaving me here will be enough? You really think I will let you live after what you did to Daryl?" I asked. 

He snorted once humorlessly and now he was standing over me. He reached down and glided the very tips of his fingers along my jaw. "So beautiful," he murmured and he shook his head wistfully. 

I pulled my face back from him and he let me. He glanced around the room again and when he looked back at me the softness was gone from his eyes. Now they glittered with excitement. "No, no sweetheart I don't believe you will," his voice was low and gravely and he stared down into my eyes as he spoke. "I think you will come after me with everything you've got and more. And you know what?" he asked, in a low voice. "I'm looking forward to it."

Before I could react he pressed his lips against my forehead. I tightened by grip on the handle and swung. He pulled back before I could sink the knife into him. He looked down at the knife in my hand, and a smirk spread across his face. "There's my girl," he said and he winked at me. "You feel better sweetheart," he said as he scooped up the bat, and dropped it over his shoulder. "I'll be seeing you," he called over his shoulder. He whistled as he stalked out of the room closing the door behind him. 

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Hi guys, I know it's been a while since I updated. This was a tough one to write. I probably wrote it ten different times ten different ways. I really hope you enjoyed it!