Jo

I followed Daryl away from Woodbury. I should have put up more of a fight and stuck to my guns to exact my revenge, but to be honest I was just too tired. I was tired of feeling like I had to be strong and in charge and I trusted Daryl. He guided me out from under the rail car, my bag of found things in one hand and his other hand at the small of my back. His crossbow was slung over his shoulder.

The rain was still pounding down so we didn't have to worry about being seen. Though, as we disappeared into the woods I had a new respect for him being able to track me in this weather. With no moon the forest was completely black. The rain was less intense under the boughs of the trees but the only glimpses of light came from the Lightning that ripped across the sky.

Once we were clear of Woodbury Daryl swung my bag over his shoulder and brought his crossbow around into his hands. I let him lead, following only a couple feet behind. It was unnerving being in the forest like this. The storm was raging so loudly there was no way we would hear one of Them and I could just barely make out Daryl's silhouette in front of me.

I felt completely exposed and I dropped my hand down to my knife. I wrapped my fist around the grip while I forced myself to take deep even breaths. I could feel myself slipping, the stress and fear of the situation was catching up to me. I stared hard at his shoulders reminding myself time and again that he was my friend. That he and I had faced plenty of Them together and he would have my back. I reminded myself how we fought side by side in the forest the first time we met. How we had gotten each other out of the CDC, and how in sync we moved clearing the nursing home.

Daryl was not my enemy.

Something grabbed me in the dark. Their arms wrapped around my torso and jerked me back against their chest, one if their hands clamped over my mouth to keep me silent. I felt them slam back against a tree and I lost it.

I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. All I could do was fight. I struggled against their hold and their other arm came up and pinned mine to my sides so I couldn't reach my knife. My breath came in short sharp pants as I tried stomping on their instep but they tangled one of their legs around mine rendering me completely immobile.

It took another full minute of struggling before I realized their cheek was pressed against the side of my head and there were words. Even knowing this I continued to flail for a few more seconds before the meaning of the words began to take shape.

"Shh, shh," he was whispering over and over, his lips pressed against my ear to keep his voice as low as possible. "Jo, Jo," he was saying my name. And then I realized that he wasn't actually hurting me. "It's fine, I'm not him." He was promising me in my ear. His voice broke over the last word and it was enough to catch my attention.

Once I relaxed and stopped fighting he relaxed a degree, but a second later I heard the moaning of Them. He held me in gentle hands against his chest on the backside on the tree as a herd began to move by. I tried counting but the thunder made it difficult and I was facing the wrong way to see. I gave up after I counted to fifteen twice.

My breathing hitched again as I realized how much trouble we were in if they found us. Daryl noticed and rubbed up and down my arm in slow soothing lines. When the next round of thunder rumbled he pressed his lips against my ear once more. "We're fine." He promised, but I could hear the tension in his voice.

It was my fault he was out here and my fault he was so tense. If I lost it and bolted or lost it and attacked him we were both toast. Even the thought of running alone through the black, rain soaked forest was enough to make me wrap my hands around his forearm and hold it tighter against my stomach. He tensed as soon as I touched his arm, but he didn't pull away. I hoped he got the message. I was in control and I was fine.

A growl sounded just over our shoulders and suddenly I was not fine. I remembered the growls in the dark as I lay on the dirt floor of my cell trying desperately to sleep. And suddenly it was like I was there. Then I heard the snarls behind me as though I stood beneath the hot lights in the ring fighting off a group for the cheering citizens of Woodbury.

I leaned my head back into Daryl's shoulder and closed my eyes.

Stop, reset. Stop, reset. Stop, reset.

I chanted over and over and over again. I mouthed the words, trying to distract myself and focus. They were so close. The thunder and the rain were easing which made us more vulnerable. My fight instinct was desperate to be set loose. I didn't think I had a flight instinct anymore. He took care of that. I never had the chance to run away. My hands started trembling with the need to wrap around my knife. We were in danger and my brain was screaming at me to do something to protect us.

Us. Daryl and I. I had to hold it together.

I pushed back even more into him, pressing my body more snugly against his. I felt him tense once more and his grip loosened a half a degree. I focused on him. He seemed uncomfortable when I touched him, but he didn't seem to have a problem if he touched me. He wasn't really a touchy feely guy and in fact the only real contact we had had before this was when he kissed me. He smelled like leather, the woods and the rain which was different then when he kissed me, it was as though the last trappings of civilization had fallen away.  

I tipped my head back even farther, sliding my cheek against his until I found his ear. "I'm okay." I promised.

He nodded his head against mine, his wet hair tickling my cheek and the tension leached away from both of us. We waited a long time after the last one we could hear stumbled away. I pulled away a small amount and he let me go. His hands dropping back to his side. I turned to face him so I could peak around the tree, making myself as innocuous as possible. I waited for the next flash of lightning but there was nothing to see.

"All clear," I said and I looked up at him. I stumbled back a step when I realized our faces were only inches apart. He also seemed uncomfortable and bent down to pick up his crossbow he had leaning against the tree at his feet.

"Sorry," I muttered, looking down at the ground. I checked my knife three times before I was able to look back at him. He was standing a few feet away looking as uncomfortable as I felt.

When I looked up he finally spoke. "We should get going." his voice came out in a hushed rasp.

Keeping my eyes on the ground I nodded and followed him through the black forest.

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Daryl

I was surprised how easily she agreed to follow me. After she told me her story it was all I could do not to storm into Woodbury and kill the governor myself. But I wasn't going to let her go off half cocked on a suicide run and she had agreed to return to the prison with me. She hadn't said much before we came across that herd. And now that we were safely on the move again she seemed even more uncomfortable. I had no idea what to say to make her feel better and with the noise from the storm she wouldn't have been able to hear me anyway.

In the flashes of lightning I could see how exhausted she was and knew that had something to do with her easy agreement. The storm gave us added coverage in the forest and I breathed out a sigh of relief. The rain was not as intense under the boughs but I was already soaked through so it didn't matter. I glanced once over my shoulder. Her eyes were wide and she kept looking from side to side. I glanced around but didn't see what she was so worried about the Walkers were long gone.

Merle's words suddenly came to me and I wondered if any of what the governor did to her had to do with being in the dark. Merle said it would be bad if she lost it, but I had been so mad I didn't bother to find out what that meant. She had managed to hold it together in the face of that herd so I had hope she wasn't completely broken like my brother seemed to think.

I was treading quietly, listening the her measured footsteps behind me. I had scared her and I felt bad about that. When I first heard the herd she hadn't realized they were there yet I had had no choice but to grab her in the dark. I had no idea what type of things he did to her, so I didn't know if I made it worse. Once she had finally stopped fighting me she had stood in the circle of my arms and shook. I tried hard not to think about my own past in the face of her fear. Jo had always been so strong and capable, it was one of the things I admired about her, but now, I wasn't sure how much of that woman was left. I couldn't help but feel like I was partially responsible, Rick too. We had both let her leave twice, fully knowing what was out there. I couldn't help feeling like I could have saved her from this fate.

We hiked for another couple hours before she spoke again. "How many people are at the prison?" She asked in a quiet voice. It had finally stopped raining and clouds cleared out enough that with the moon we could see fairly well.

I resisted the urge to turn and look at her. For as confident and resolute she had seemed before, now she sounded a little lost. "'Bout twelve." I replied in a low voice.

The only sound for a few minutes was our footsteps. "What do you mean about twelve?" She finally asked. Her voice was stronger now, with a hint of frustration coloring it. Good. That's the side of her I wanted to see.

"Well, we were down to nine there but with Merle, you and Michonne..." I dragged off. I glanced over my shoulder in time to see her bite at her lower lip thoughtfully. She lifted her eyes and caught mine.

"How much farther?" She asked.

I glanced around us and shrugged. "'Bout an hour."

She narrowed her eyes at me and I could tell I was making her mad with my vague answers. Sighing I continued. "We should get there before dawn."

She turned to the west and studied the sky but there was nothing to see. It was early morning when the dark was at its deepest. I turned to keep moving but her voice came out in almost a whisper. "Daryl," I turned back to her. "I know I said I would come with you, but..." She toed the wet leaves at her feet. "I don't do so well around people anymore. I-" Her voice was soft and it caught at the end.

"Hey," I said and I took a step towards her.

Her head snapped up and fear flashed in her eyes a second before she calmed. I had surprised her again. My hand tightened into a fist as I thought about all the ways I wanted to destroy The Governor. Her eyes followed the motion though and a wariness took root there. I instantly regretted it as images from my own past reared their head. I dropped both my hands to my side and rolled my shoulders forward.

"Jo," I said in a quiet, confident voice. "I ain't him." I repeated my words from earlier and wondered if it was also for my own benefit. I never wanted to be feared like that.

Jo nodded too quickly and dropped her hand to her knife. "I know," she snapped quickly, her voice not quite hostile but it was close. "I just..." She dragged off then scrubbed at her face with the heels of her hands. "I don't know what will happen when I'm around people again. I've-" but she couldn't seem to find the words.

"Merle told me," I said in as neutral of a voice as I could muster. "Rick knows too. Don't matter. We want you back where you belong."

She frowned as my words sunk in and looked like she was ready to argue.

"With us." I clarified.

She snorted and nodded. She jerked her chin towards my shoulder. "Can I have my bag?"

I handed it over. There couldn't be much in it, it weighed almost nothing. But she unzipped it and pulled out the flannel I had given her. She took her time buttoning and tying it back before she carefully rezipped her bag and slung it over her shoulder. When she lifted her eyes to meet mine she looked calmer, maybe more accepting of the situation. "Let's get home then," she said with a small, tight lipped smile.

We walked the rest of the way side by side.

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Jo

It was still dark when we arrived at the prison. Daryl's way was faster then the way I had gone but it was still almost over ten miles and I was exhausted. My feet ached in my boots and I was dying to just lay down somewhere and get some sleep. But as we approached the main gate I heard the first snarls of Them and remembered that The Governor had filled their field with Them. My knife was suddenly in my hand and I didn't fully remember making the decision to pull it.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked. I hated that my voice came out so tight and nervous. I tried to remember how many I had seen in the field yesterday but I was distracted at the time by Daryl and then The Governor.

"Well...we could either fight our way across." Daryl said thoughtfully. "Or..." He pulled something out of his pocket and raised his hand above his head. He flicked the flashlight on and off twice.

There was an answering flash of light and Daryl seemed to relax a degree. "Get ready," he said in a low voice.

"Get ready for what?"

Suddenly two hundred feet further down the inner fence flames erupted. Daryl reached back and grabbed my hand and we made a run for the inner gate. My heart was pounding in my chest as They began swarming towards the fire. One came too close and the quiet thwack of Daryl's bow took care of the issue. I pulled away from him as I heard another growl behind me. I heard him grunt behind me but I let my focus totally go.

I turned on the one coming up behind me. I felt the rib cage give way beneath my heel as I kicked it back a foot. Then I swung my fist from the right and slammed my small blade through its temple. The body fell as I jerked my knife back towards me.

"Daryl!" I heard a woman call from the other side of the fence, but another one was approaching.

I whirled around to face it. It used to be a woman in a light blue flowered dress that was now coated in gore. I ducked low then stood up using my upward momentum to ram the knife up beneath the chin. My other hand braced against the handle of the knife to ensure it drove cleanly through the skull to the brain. As it fell I stomped down on its clavicle so I could pull my knife back and close to my body.

"Get her out of there!" It was a man's voice, but there was always yelling when I fought and I had learned to tune it out long ago. I never wanted to hear them chanting for death.

I moved seamlessly towards the next one making the movement almost a dance to conserve motion and strength. I slammed my boot into the side of its knee and it fell to the side. I jammed my knife through its ear as it went down, then let gravity clear my blade as the body crumpled.

The next one was five feet away and I started towards it. I took a skip step so I could get a run at it, that way I could use my momentum against it. The body had been over six feet in life and I would need the advantage.

A hand latched onto my upper arm jerking me to an abrupt stop. My feet skidded in the gravel but I used the leverage of their grip to swing myself around towards the new threat.

"Daryl!!" There was another shout from a new voice, but I didn't bother with the words. Words were meaningless at this point, just another useless trapping of civilization.

I brought my knife up towards my new target but he was ready for it. His other hand caught mine with the blade and then he spun me around, jerking my back into his chest just like earlier. He shoved my hand with the knife down so it was flat to my side and pressed his cheek against my cheek. "It's over Jo."

His voice startled me and suddenly I could feel the long line of Daryl's body at my back. I blushed furiously as I realized what had happened again and I forced my body to relax knowing he wouldn't let me go until I did. He waited a moment as though making sure. I pulled away from him gently and he let me go. When I turned to face him his eyes were grave but he jerked his chin towards the gate. I dipped my chin in understanding and followed him the rest of the way. They were still growling in the dark but I trained my eyes on the wings on the back of Daryl's vest and didn't allow myself to think of anything else.

Carol, Merle and Rick were waiting at the inner gate. Rick and Carol slammed it shut behind us. I heard the click of the lock and wondered at the tightness that was suddenly in my chest. I prowled a small tight circle as I looked around the court yard but there wasn't much to see even with the small fire burning in the corner.

No one said anything at first. Carol gave Daryl a quick, tentative hug. Then she pulled back and looked him up and down at arms length. He looked embarrassed and muttered an annoyed "Stop." I wondered if they were together. They hadn't been close before, but then Daryl hadn't been close to anyone before.

Rick came forward and clapped Daryl once on the back before turning to me. I was embarrassed by what happened in the field, it was exactly the kind of thing I was concerned about. I had hoped to at least have a place to stay for one night before they threw me out for being crazy. So much for that.

"It's good to have you back with us Jo," Rick said. He smiled warmly at me, but he kept his distance. People lied with words, they rarely lied with their bodies. Rick was being wary of me.

Whether Carol realized it or not she was taking her cues from him and seemed equally wary, maybe even a little fearful.

I cleared my throat so when I spoke it wouldn't sound so rough, "thanks, but if you don't think it's gonna work that's fine." The words ended up coming out sounding more pissed off than I had intended and I immediately dropped my gaze to my boots. I was out of practice interacting with people. It hasn't been this hard with Daryl out in the woods, it shouldn't be hard now. I just needed to focus and get control.

Rick shook his head, "you belong here, with us." He took one slow, deliberate step towards me.

I suddenly remembered in the woods when I hadn't realized it was Maggie. It was possible he was just being polite too, trying to make this easy on me. But I couldn't be sure which was right. My brain felt like it was rusty gears that hadn't been turning for years and were full of rust and cobwebs.

I shook it off, it would take some practice before being around people again would be natural. Months, it had been months I was down in that cage.

Merle stepped up then, his eyes narrowed. "Nice to see you made it back in one piece little brother." He turned to me and flashed a leering grin. "Good to have you back Barbie."

Daryl's eyes narrowed at his brother's address to me, but he didn't say anything.

"Come on," Rick said motioning towards the door "lets get you both some sleep."

I waited for the others to start moving and followed at the rear. Carol stayed out at the gate presumably on watch. I tried to remember back to what I knew about her before but she had never been like that. The last few months had changed us all.

We entered through a side door and then a cage that opened into what looked like their mess area. There were tables and food storage, and three holding cages along the wall. Merle moved towards one of these without saying a word.

"This is where we eat," Rick said in a hushed voice. "Everyone is sleep'in" he said unnecessarily by way of explanation. He motioned ahead through a locked barred door. "We all stay in the cell block. There's another couple of open cells, you can take your pick."

I glanced back towards Merle who was standing in the door of one of the holding cells. "Everyone except me," he chuckled. "They don't trust me around the woman and children yet."

Rick led the way through the door, locking it behind us. Every clang of metal doors and click of keys made my chest feel tighter and tighter. We walked down the cell block towards the stairs at the end. I could see people sleeping in the open cell doors. Each one was full of personal items as though it were their home. Daryl led the way up the stairs, veering off into one of the cells. I heard him drop his crossbow and glanced at him as I continued to follow Rick. There were two open cells at the end.

Rick gestured to them, stepping back out of my way. "You can have your pick."

I stepped into the first and turned around. The dim light from the lantern in the cell block cast flickering shadows of the bars on the walls and I felt my head swim. I staggered a step and caught myself against the wall with my forearm. I tried to blink it away but all I could smell was my cell in Woodbury. The growl of Then echoed in my ears and I almost ran out of the cell. My heart was pounding in my ears, the blood pumping way too fast. I gripped the handrail in front of the cells and hung my head as I forced my breathing to slow down.

"Jo?" Rick's quiet whisper was laced with concern.

When I finally had control I raised my head to look at first him and then I glanced down the way. I could feel his eyes on me. Sure enough, Daryl was leaning against the wall outside his cell watching me. I looked back to Rick and hated the pity I saw in his eyes.

I cleared my throat so my voice would come out strong and confident. "I think I'll stay out in the mess with Merle." There was no way I could be in here, not when I was like this, not if there were kids around.

"With Merle?" Rick asked in a disbelieving voice. "I don't think..." He started to say but I was already turning to walk back the way we had come.

"I'm happy to stay with Merle," I assured Rick. I glanced up at Daryl as I passed him, expecting the same shitty pitying look as Rick. I almost flinched back when I saw he looked pissed. He had crossed his arms and his eyes were hard and cold as I walked by. I shook my head, I warned him I might not be able to do this.

I crept down the stairs quietly so I wouldn't wake anyone and stood at the door, waiting for Rick to come down and let me out. I stepped back away from him while he opened it and breathed a sigh of relief when he locked me out of the cell block.

"Are you sure about this?" Rick asked, his gaze was wary as he glanced at Merle.

I looked back over my shoulder to where Merle lay, reclined on a cot in his cage. I just shook my head, turning wearily towards the empty cage to Merle's left.

"You ain't gonna loose it and kill me in my sleep are you?" Merle's voice rumbled from the dark of his cage.

I scoffed but didn't bother with a reply, because to be honest I didn't know what I was going to do. But I trusted Merle would look out for himself. I stepped inside the cage waiting to see if the panic would come. But it didn't. I could still hear the growls of Them in the back of my mind, but it didn't matter so much out here. It felt more open. There were no walls on the cage, it was just fencing opening to the large airy room. I felt like I could breathe in here.

I left the door open, putting my backpack against it so I would hear if someone tried to close me in. I lay down on the small cot and pulled the musty blanket over me. I buried my face in the collar of Daryl's shirt. It didn't really smell like him anymore, but I still took comfort from the action.

"You still with me Barbie?" Merle's voice rasped sleepily from the other side of the fence.

"I think so Merle."

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Another update coming soon! Please, if you are enjoying Jo's story, comment or vote!