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Jo

"A little constitutional outside the wall, just you and me sweetheart," Negan said in a jovial voice as he swung his bat up over his shoulder.

I went cold at his words. I didn't want to be alone with him and I certainly didn't want to leave Alexandria for any reason. I didn't want him getting any ideas.

He must have read something on my face because he chuckled menacingly. "Oh come on now sweetheart, you ain't scared are you?" His smirk was predatory and without realizing it one of my hands had dropped to the knife on my belt.

"Ah, ah, ah," Negan said in a warning voice, wagging his finger at me. "Simon!" He called loudly over his shoulder.

I frowned and looked around, I hadn't realized anyone had been close to us. It bothered me to know that Negan had distracted me so much. I was normally better at paying attention to my surroundings and certainly better at knowing where my enemies were.

Suddenly, Simon walked around into view. In front of him was Carl, with Simon's gun pointed at his head. Negan looked at them, a pleased smile on his face and then he turned back to look at me.

"Shall we?" he asked.

I swallowed and nodded. It was stupid of me to think that just because he didn't have Daryl any more meant he wouldn't find someone else to use against me. It's what made his tactics so effective. We could always be controlled as long as there were still people we cared for. I regarded Negan carefully, wondering for a brief moment if there was someone he cared for. Some way for us to get the upper hand.

"Now let's go," he instructed, interrupting my thoughts. He held his hand out dramatically for me to lead the way to the gate. Not seeing another option I complied, leading the way down the street. Negan followed just behind me, whistling as he walked. The tune wasn't one I was familiar with, but it was obnoxious and set my teeth on edge. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was playing right into his hand, doing exactly what he wanted. I hated it.

When we got to the gate Rick met us. He looked back and forth from Negan to me to where Simon followed us with Carl. His eyes narrowed, zeroing in on Simon's gun pointing at his son. "What's going on?" he asked his shoulders tight with tension.

Negan was practically preening in front of Rick. He enjoyed parading his control especially with Rick. It was a dangerous game to play. One day someone was going to snap. Watching the fire in Rick's eyes I wondered if he would beat me to it.

"My hot friend and I are going for a little walk. No worries, my men will continue their search," Negan chuckled. "Wouldn't want you to think I was distracted from the real reason we're here."

Rick stepped forward aggressively putting his shoulder between me and Negan.

"Jo isn't going anywhere," Rick growled. "She hasn't done anything. Daryl isn't here."

Negan rolled his head to the side so he was starring Rick full in the face. "I believe you," he said and then he flashed a dangerous smile. "But my buddy Simon over there," Negan said gesturing over his shoulder. "Simon says Jo is going with me and there's nothing you are going to do to stop it. Not while Ol' Simon's got a gun to your boys head."

Rick froze when he saw Simon press the gun more firmly against Carl's scalp. Carl grimaced and glared at Simon, refusing to let the other men see any fear. Rick pressed his lips together grimly, looking back and forth from Carl to me. He was torn between wanting to help me, and knowing he couldn't risk his son. I caught his eye and gave him an encouraging smile. I understood.

As badly as Rick might want to protect me he couldn't, not while he had Carl and Judith and Michonne. All of them ranked higher than I did. He loved them and they couldn't protect themselves as well as I could. Well...maybe Michonne, we had never tested that.

I didn't blame him at all. I would do anything to protect Daryl. The look on Rick's face was desperate as he watched Negan loop his free hand through my arm and march us towards the gate. Rick took a step after us, his hands clenched into fists at his side.

Negan jerked his chin to his men who were now on guard duty and they held the gate open for us. "Don't worry, we'll be right back," he assured Rick. "Feel free to wait up!" He laughed. "I would like to say it will only take twenty minutes but with a hell cat like her I'm betting closer to an hour."

My skin crawled at his suggestive tone. Negan's men all laughed with him and it made my fingers itch. The others be damned. I would plant a knife in his skull before I let him touch me.

Negan paused then and glanced down at me, his face suddenly becoming serious. He regarded me for almost a full minute. A brief smirk flickered across his face but it wasn't the mask he wore. It was sincere. I hated it when he was sincere. It usually meant I was doing something that interested him.

Negan glanced back at Simon. "If we aren't back in an hour, put a bullet in the boy's head, Rick's head and that little girl," he ordered and then he looked back down at me even though he was still talking to Simon. "If I ain't back by then it means my hot friend here put a knife in me and is coming back for all y'all." He turned dead serious eyes to Simon. "Be ready." Then a slow seductive smile stretched across his face. "I would not underestimate her."

I turned away from him then. I didn't want to know what he was thinking about. I needed to figure out what his angle was here. As much of a creep as he could be I honestly didn't think he was marching me out into the woods to throw me down and have his way with me. It just didn't seem like his style. Which meant there was something else at play here.

As soon as we were outside the fence he let go of my arm. We walked a short ways down the road before he stooped down and picked up a hub cap from the ditch. He turned it around in his hand and smiled. "This'll do nicely," he said cryptically. Then he marched us into the woods. He walked fast and when I glared at him for it he only chuckled. "Only got an hour sweetheart, tick tock."

I stumbled after him for nearly a mile before he slowed enough for me to walk comfortably. He looked around us curiously as though contemplating the spot. It wasn't a clearing per say but there was less underbrush here than the area around us. Whatever he was looking for he seemed satisfied. He swung his bat, knocking it loudly against the hub cap. The metal of the hub cap and the barbed wire clanged together loudly, making me cringe as it echoed through the forest. He knocked his bat against it over and over yelling at the top of his lungs. "Soups on!!! Soups on!!! Come and get it!!!"

Once satisfied he turned back to me. "There," he said definitively. "Now all we gotta do is wait."

I frowned at him and looked around at the forest surrounding us waiting for the walkers to start appearing. With as loud as he was being it wouldn't be long.

"Oh," he added as though it were an after thought. "I'd get out your knives," he advised.

I scowled and he just arched an eyebrow as though disappointed I wasn't following. He was attracting walkers, but I wasn't clear why. He had seen me in action plenty of times before, but normally if he was going to make me perform he preferred an audience.

Finally he shook his head in disappointment and stepped closer to me. "See, I believe you when you say Daryl isn't there, even he ain't that dumb or desperate. Now I saw him, I got to know him. That happens when you torture someone," Negan's voice was matter a fact and it made me want to vomit. "He may be a survivor through and through," Negan paused long enough to bang on the hub cap again, hollering as loud as he could. "But he's loyal, my bet is that you're right, he ain't there. But he ain't far. You were mine, I wouldn't leave you to someone like me knowing I would be coming. If it were me, I would be waiting in the wings keeping an eye on you to make sure you were safe."

I gritted my teeth as I starred Negan in the face. I wanted him to be joking but right now he was being dead serious. He was looking at me as though he wanted me to congratulate him for not being the monster I knew he was. When he didn't get the reaction he was looking for he shrugged. "So, we're going to test my little theory hot friend by making you a little unsafe."

As much as I hated to admit it, his reasoning was sound. The only problem was Daryl wasn't out here ready to come to my aid. Negan reached out and jerked two of my knives out of my shoulder harness.

"There," he said smiling triumphantly. "Keep things a little interesting. Now, how many does that leave you?"

I wondered if I should be honest. Seeming to know what I was thinking Negan smirked, twirling his bat. "I find out you lied to me and I'll use Lucille...oh not on your skull, you're far to pretty for that, it'd be a waste. But I will fuck up your left knee. I'll bash it sideways and you will never walk the same again let alone run."

I sucked in a breath and nodded as real fear swirled through me. I wasn't afraid to die, but I was surprised to find I was afraid of that. I had turned my body into a weapon and I depended on that to survive. It was all I had to offer as a member of the group. "I have six left," I told him honestly.

"That's a good girl," he said smirking and he pulled the other two out from my shoulder holster. Leaving me with the one at my waist, the one in my spine sheath, one strapped to the outside of my boot and a small fold up one clipped under my shirt. The fold up one was difficult to reach and small, making it practically useless. If I had to go for that one things had gotten desperate and I was already dead.

Just then I heard the first growls of approaching walkers. Negan smiled and walked over to a nearby log, arranging himself on it as though he were a king on a throne. He gestured towards the approaching walkers. "Don't mind me, do your thing sweetheart, I just wanna watch."

I gritted my teeth and turned my back on him. He didn't matter. I stepped up towards the approaching walkers. It was a small herd, only five. I drew my larger knives and attacked them before they reached me. I kept my movements tight and efficient, leaving nothing to chance. I had three at my feet and was turning to the next when I heard the knocking again and Negan was shouting to draw more to me.

"Come on you assholes! I brought you something sweet!"

I closed my eyes for a moment and let myself focus. I ignored him, ignored everything around me. All that mattered was the next Walker and the next. More came, some one at a time and others in groups. I didn't process numbers, not after a certain point. It all became about the movement. Every strike, every kick had to count. I had no one watching my back and I didn't trust Negan not to do something to screw me over.

I fought and slashed as the walkers continued to come. Every time it felt like I was able to slow the rhythm of my fighting Negan would yell again, calling more and more walkers to us. I don't know how long I fought. I cursed myself and Negan up and down the entire time. They weren't slowing. In fact it seemed as though we had managed to draw a fairly large group and with the sounds of me fighting and the noise of the herd itself we were only going to continue to draw more. One of the walkers got too close and I had to throw myself backwards onto the ground to avoid it's snapping teeth. I grunted in pain as sticks and rocks scraped at my exposed skin. I wanted my jacket, fighting in only the tank top felt like I was fighting naked.

With me on the ground the remaining walkers swarmed. I wasn't sure how many it was this time, maybe six? Twelve? I couldn't hear over the cacophony of their snarls. I could feel slimy hands graze my skin. I tightened my jaw until it ached as my mind tried to flash back. I couldn't let it. If I lost my focus here I was going to die.

I kicked straight out powerfully with both of my legs, knocking three back. I ripped away from the others, throwing myself to my feet. I tried to whirl but one was too close and I could hear the snapping of its teeth. I struck up powerfully with one knife coming under it's chin. It was a bad strike. There were other walkers too close and I couldn't clear the blade. I had to let go of the knife. I drew the one from my boot and I heard Negan laughing behind me as he banged away on the hub cap.

Didn't the asshole understand there were too many? He was going to get us both killed if he didn't stop.

I whirled slicing at the nearest walkers, desperately trying to clear myself some room to fight. I had lost focus and with it went my awareness of my surroundings. Something hit me from the side, knocking me sideways. I caught myself before I went down but to stop the Walker lurching towards me I had to snap off the knife in my hand. It landed perfectly in the walkers forehead, and I reached for the next knife under my arm only to realize my harness was empty. Negan had my knives. 

Negan was shouting again but the walkers were surging. They were coming from all directions now, too many to count. I tried to regain control and focus, but it was too late. I tried to dredge up those memories that had just tried to surface. They used to let me go away, disappear into some dark corner of my brain and just fight, like armor, but they weren't there. Not in the same way. Now they were just memories.

I felt the first licks of panic.

I kicked out at the closest one knocking it back but another took its place just as fast. My only other option was the fold up knife but I couldn't get it without putting away the one I still had and that was not a possibility.

My hands were trembling as I stabbed another Walker and then another. My body was starting to feel sluggish and tired. Between the fight earlier today and this one I had pushed it beyond it's capabilities. I was running on empty. I tripped over something beneath my feet and fell.

Somewhere, seemingly far away Negan was yelling again, louder than before. It sounded almost like a roar.

Could the asshole not see I was down? I had failed. I was done. His little experiment had failed. It pissed me off to the depths of my soul to know I was going to die because of him and Rosita and their idiocy.

There was a stabbing pain in my shoulder and I cried out. I was so far beyond trying to hold anything back. I had given everything I had. I slashed upwards with the knife as the next Walker came for me. Blood and thicker things rained down on me and I somehow lost the knife.

With trembling, gore coated fingers I reached for the final knife. I had it in my hand and unfolded before I realized the walkers weren't coming anymore.

I blinked a few times, looking for more. When there were none I flopped back down onto the forest floor. I lay on my back in the dirt and stared at the trees as the upper boughs swayed in the wind and fought to breathe again. It was a strangely peaceful moment.

And then that moment ended.

"You still breathing sweetheart?" Negan's maddening voice called.

Unwilling to lay there at his feet I pushed myself up. I swayed as my head spun and he caught my arm to steady me. He was standing closer than I had thought. I jerked away from him, nearly knocking myself down when I moved too fast. He stepped back and held up his hands in surrender.

"Whoa, whoa," he said. "Just go slow." He said. "You took a good one to the head."

I didn't remember getting hit in the head. That wasn't a good sign. I frowned at him and it took me a minute to realize the annoying itching by my ear was blood. I swiped at it impatiently and then scowled down to see it was my blood mingling with the other gore that already coated me.

"Are you happy now?" I growled at him as I stepped away to get my bearings. My muscles were still trembling from fatigue and my legs felt like jelly. I was going to have to walk back to Alexandria and I didn't know how I was going to make it. I was so tired. 

I finally allowed myself to look around. The forest around us looked like a battlefield. I reached thirty-five before I stopped counting. I didn't want to know. Whatever Negan had been trying to prove out here I had failed. I started pacing through the corpses, kicking them over trying to find my knives.

"What are you doing?" Negan asked, all pretense and humor was gone from his face as he leaned against his bat. Strangely I felt like I was seeing the man himself for the first time. Somewhere during the fight he had lost that mask he used and now he just looked like a man. 

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I snarled back, kicking over another body before I turned to level a glare at him.

Sweat was dripping from his temples and judging by the amount of gore covering his arms, pants and the bat itself I was betting he had been fighting for a while. I vaguely remembered hearing him shout, but I didn't know when it had changed from attracting them to fighting them. At least ten walkers had their skulls bashed beyond recognition.

I ground my teeth. I didn't owe him anything, even if he had killed the last of them and saved my life. It was his fault my life was in danger in the first place. I owed him nothing. 

"You don't remember where you lost them?" Negan asked curiously.

I scowled at his question, hating that he was drawing attention to it. It made me realize then, how careful the people in our group were to never point out when the broken pieces of my brain showed themselves. The look of surprise on Negan's face made me feel like a freak again. It wasn't any of his business. 

"Obviously," I snapped impatiently. I finally found one of them. I pulled it from the walkers head and did the best I could to clean it off before sliding it away.

When I looked back at Negan expectantly, to see what it was he wanted to do next, he was watching me. His eyes were serious and his face grave. I didn't like it. It made me feel uncomfortable. 

"I'm sorry Jo," he finally said as her looked at me. "I didn't realize you-"

I took a step away from Negan and tightened my jaw. I narrowed my eyes and my look cut off his words. 

Negan sniffed and straightened. He puffed himself up and cracked his neck. He recomposed himself and donned his mask before my eyes. I didn't react. I honestly didn't care any more. I just wanted to go home. I was exhausted, hollowed out. I just wanted The Saviors to leave so I could go find Daryl. 

Negan walked back to the log he had been sitting on and handed my knives back to me. I snatched them from him, tucking them each back where they went. Had I had all of my knives this wouldn't have happened. I would have been able to handle myself fine and I wouldn't have needed this psychopath to save me. 

My head started to pound when I bent down to slide my knife back into my boot and when I straightened my stomach heaved. Not a good sign. More than likely I had a concussion. Negan was watching me closely and I didn't want him knowing how hurt I was. "I told you he wasn't here," I ground out the words. 

"And now I believe you," Negan finally said and he held his arm out for me to lead the way back to Alexandria.

We walked the rest of the way back in silence. I was exhausted and was tripping over my feet. The walk back felt like it took considerably longer than the walk out. Negan never said anything about my slower pace, he just walked along behind me. His swagger didn't return until we approached the gate. Negan's men and our people were all gathered. When we stepped inside Rick approached us, his eyes widened with worry. 

"Jo!" Carl called my name when he saw me. Guess I looked worse than I thought. Carl jerked away from Simon and ran towards me. Negan nodded to Simon to allow it. 

I was swaying on my feet when Carl reached me. He slowed when he approached, looking me over with concern. When I swayed once more he jumped forward and caught me with an arm around my waist. Rick was there too, catching me by my other arm. I hissed as the motion caught me hurt shoulder and Rick released me instantly. 

"Where are you hurt?" Rick asked. 

I just shook my head. "Don't worry about it."  

"There's no sign of him," Simon reported to Negan.

Negan only nodded, but his attention was focused on us.  

"What did you do to her?" Carl snarled, glaring at Negan. 

Negan chuckled at Carl's outburst. 

I squeezed his arm in warning. "I'm fine," I promised them both. Carl and Rick had a protective streak a mile wide, they could be as bad as Daryl. I stepped away from them when Negan approached us. Negan flashed them both a sinister smile and motioned for me to step away with him. I didn't want to, but I wanted them to leave. I sighed and followed him a couple of feet from the group. 

Negan leaned towards me so no one else could hear his words. "Daryl isn't here...but, if he shows up...I want to give you a little warning, now I don't expect you to rat him out, but I will kill three people if I find him here. Then I will drag him and you back home for good measure. You understand?" Negan turned and started walking away. 

He paused and turned back to me, his eyes grave. "I'm sorry, about today," he said and he was telling the truth. "But...I wasn't lying about what we did to him Jo. He ain't the same. You'd do well to remember that. I'd hate to see you get hurt." He started strolling away again. "And just so you know, my offer still stands. You and me out there...we make one hell of a team."

I glared at him, trying to muster up what little badass I had left and I spit on the ground between us. He just laughed and looked at me like I was the cutest thing he had ever seen. I hated when people did that when I was trying to be bad ass. 

I stared at him until he swung his bat over his shoulder and looked back at our people. "Well thank you all for your cooperation. Our apologies for leaving the place a bit of a mess, but we got a litany of other shit to do."

Negan climbed into the truck, leaning his arm out the window.

"Oh, and just so you know. If Daryl does turn up here...two days from now, two months from now...hell, two years from now. Just know there's no statute of limitations on this," Negan leveled his gaze on Rick. "You keep that hatchet handy, you're gonna need it if he shows up with you people."

Then he winked at me, banged his palm against the door and the saviors left us to clean up the mess. 

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Hope you guys enjoyed the update. I was going to save this and put it out later in the week, but I never have had the patience for a real update schedule. I basically want you guys to be able to read it as soon as I finish writing it. Anyway, thanks for the votes and comments I really appreciate you all sticking with my story for so long. I sincerely hope you continue to enjoy it!