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Jo

Following Ezekiel's directions I made my way to the section of wall he had indicated. True to his word, I spotted a man standing at the top, looking out over the dark forests surrounding the compound. Even in the low light I recognized the set to Daryl's shoulders. His hands were hanging at his sides, tightened into fists. I wasn't surprised. He had nothing, no weapon other than a knife and he had always fiddled with his crossbow when he was restless or antsy. Now he stood like a statue.

Something was very wrong.

I climbed the ladder as silently as possible, but somehow he still managed to hear me. He whirled towards me but when he identified me he turned back towards the forest. I bit my lip, uncertain what I was going to say. I walked up to him and stood, shoulder to shoulder just shy of touching him. He didn't look at me again and he didn't say anything.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked in a quiet tone. I didn't want to feel as though I was nagging him. If he wasn't ready to talk, he wasn't ready to talk. Even as I said that however, I knew that I would never be able to be as patient as he had always been with me. It was a perfect example of why he was a hunter and I was...well whatever it was that I was.

He glanced at me over his shoulder and I could see in his eyes that he didn't want to talk about it. He was practically radiating tension just standing in front of me.

"Talk 'bout what?" he growled looking back off into the darkness.

I bit back the sigh I desperately wanted to heave and tightened my jaw instead. I wasn't good at this, and he was so tense I didn't want this to turn into a fight. Whatever he was dealing with clearly didn't have to do with us and our relationship if the last twelve hours had been any indication. There was however something that was keeping him out of bed in the middle of the night.

"How about the fact that there is a freaking tiger walking around here!" I said throwing an overly dramatic look of disbelief over my shoulder.

Daryl followed my gaze and would have been able to see Ezekiel out walking with Shiva. He scowled and looked back at me. He knew me, knew me well enough to know that was not what I had come out here to talk about. But it threw him, breaking his defenses down for even a moment, and I was going to use that.

"I mean, of all the things to survive and choose to have as a companion, a tiger?" I asked shaking my head as though this was really something I cared about. "I mean what ever happened to having a dog? There must be a ton of them running around. Can you imagine the resources he spends to feed it?" I chatted.

I wasn't much for chatting, not anymore at least. That was something I had been good at before, it was one of those societal things you don't realize you do until you don't have to anymore. I was so happy to let so many of those things go. And yet, I would happily do whatever it took to help Daryl.

"Not to mention the inherent danger it poses to the community itself, I mean it's pretty obvious she has definitive likes and dislikes, what happens if it attacks someone? Is everyone just supposed to accept it and move on because their king said so? And what-"

Daryl moved then, fast and silent. He grabbed my shoulders, spinning me to face him and mashed his lips against mine to silence me. He kissed me soundly and I was gasping for breath when he pulled back. "Jo-" he started to say as he stared down at me. His face was shadowed in the dim light and I had trouble reading his expression, but I clearly saw him shake his head in disbelief. "What-?" he started to asked and then stopped and snorted shaking his head. "What the hell are ya talking about?"

I arched a brow, uncertain if he could even see it. I jerked my thumb back over my shoulder indicating the direction Ezekiel had gone. "Shiva," I said as though it were obvious.

He frowned. "What?" he asked.

"Ezekiel's tiger," I replied in a bright voice.

He shook his head and turned back towards the dark forest. There was a long moment of silence between us and I sighed. I felt the put upon smile fall from my face. I wasn't going to get through to him, not like this. I stepped up beside him, and laced my fingers with his. He was stiff and tense, but he didn't push me away. Instead, he wound his fingers through my own and squeezed my hand.

We stood there like that for a long time, just staring out into the darkness. Every now and then I thought I heard the quiet growl of a walker, but we were safe behind the walls of The Kingdom and I forced myself to ignore it. Daryl tensed several times, but I didn't see or hear whatever seemed to be bothering him. The last time he did it I glanced over at him frowning. He met my eyes for a moment and looked away, embarrassed I had noticed.

It bothered me that it would embarrass him. We didn't hide things from one another. Finally he cleared his throat. "You should get some sleep," he said.

I glanced up at him, tightening my grip on his hand. "So should you," I said simply. "When was the last time you slept?" I asked in a careful voice.

He looked back at me, a scowl lining his face. Then he just shook his head and looked away. I watched him swallow, his Adams apple bobbing and his jaw tightened. He didn't respond and I knew the answer. So I waited him out a little longer. Instead of convincing him to talk it only seemed to solidify his desire to keep watch.

"Dare-" I started to say after another long silence and he turned to look at me. Even in the near darkness I could see the tension around his eyes.

"I can't Jo," he finally said in a low voice, he hung his head as though he were defeated. I stepped up to him so he was resting his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his waist and after a minute he did the same and enveloped me in a hug. He let out a shuddering breath and his shoulders shook with his efforts to keep his emotions in check.

I rubbed his back gently, holding him close. I closed my eyes as an overwhelming feeling of failure went through me. I should have done more to get him out of there. I should have done something, anything. I couldn't help feeling as though this were somehow my fault. I could have done more. I should have gotten him out of there, no matter the cost.

In that moment I hated Negan more than I had ever hated anyone. I hated him for what he had done not only to our group, but what he had done to Daryl in particular. The tension from earlier when we were surrounded by the crowd of strangers, and this inability to relax enough to sleep were sure signs of some kind of PTSD. I just didn't know how to bring it up to him, I didn't know how to ask what he had gone through so I could help him. Negan's taunts replayed over and over in my mind. He had tortured him somehow, I had no doubt about it. Nothing less would have touched Daryl. I tightened my grip on him, holding him closer to me. I wanted so badly to protect him, but it had already happened. I had failed to protect him and now all I could do was be there for him during the fallout.

I felt tears burn the backs of my eyes. I had failed him. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice hoarse with emotion. I had taken what had happened to me and my sister and turned myself into this so no one I loved would ever go through that again. But I had failed.

Daryl pulled back and looked down at my eyes. He scowled when he saw the tears in my eyes. He made an angry noise in the back of his throat. "None of this was your fault," he said firmly. When I didn't respond he gave me a rough shake. "Ya hear me?" he growled. "It's that psychos fault, not you."

I reached up and swiped away the tears from my cheeks, nodding, though I didn't believe it. No matter what he said I would never believe I couldn't have done more. Maybe if I had been better, maybe if I hadn't gotten so lost in my head I could have gotten him away from Negan sooner, I could have saved him before he was forced to save himself.

"Jo," he snapped, startling me out of my thoughts. "This ain't on you," he snarled.

I nodded, tears still swimming in my eyes. "I-" I started to say and then sucked in a deep breath, to calm myself. "I was scared," I finally confessed, staring down at my hands. "The way Negan kept talking...I didn't think I would ever get you back."

Daryl frowned down at me. "He really seemed to take a liking to ya," he said carefully, his voice was neutral but his hands were tight.

I sniffed and nodded. "Yeah, he really liked tormenting me," I agreed. I didn't want to tell Daryl how much Negan actually seemed to like me. He was already on edge and knowing how much Negan wanted me to return with him wouldn't help matters.

"He told me," Daryl growled. "I thought-" he started to say and then stopped, taking a deep breath. "I was worried too. I kept waiting for them to drag ya back there. There was a couple there, Dwight and Sherry, Negan used them against each other like it was a damn game. He tormented them 'til there was nothin left."

"We're both beyond his reach now," I said earnestly. "And we'll kill him...I'll kill him," I said firmly. "No matter what happens here or with Rick. If we have to," I paused. I hated the idea of going against Rick, it felt a little like treason, but Rick wasn't our king. He was our friend and our leader, but when it came down to it, Rick couldn't stop me. "We'll go our own way and take care of it...for everyone."

Daryl snorted and shook his head. "You're something, ya know that?" he said chuckling.

"Something," I agreed smirking up at him.

Then he pulled me against his chest once more. His one arm kept me tucked firmly against his chest as he turned back to look out over the wall. I leaned into him, and breathed in his scent, letting the feel of him reassure me that we were both here and safe for now.

I ended up sitting on the wall near where Daryl stood. I drew my knees up to my chest and dozed for a few hours. Daryl tried to send me back to our room time and again, but I steadfastly refused. I wasn't going to leave him out here on his own. I remembered all the times he had sat out with me on the deck of my guard tower back at the prison, when the demons in my head hadn't allowed me to sleep. He had been there for me, seeming to understand it was something I needed to do. I could be there for him too.

It was nearly dawn before Daryl finally dropped down to sit beside me. His eyes were red from exhaustion and he leaned his head against my shoulder. "I'll keep watch," I promised in a low whisper. He made a noise of agreement in the back of his throat and closed his eyes. He dropped off to sleep immediately.

I held myself perfectly still so I wouldn't disturb him as I watched the sun rise. Shortly after dawn I saw Ezekiel out walking Shiva once more. When he came closer he spotted Daryl and I. His eyes ranged over the two of us and then he met my gaze and smiled at me. If it weren't for the whole king thing I couldn't help thinking that Ezekiel wouldn't be such a bad guy.

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Daryl

I don't know how long I was sleeping, not too long. The sun had been about to come up when I finally couldn't stay awake any longer and when I was shook awake it hadn't risen very far. Maybe an hour or thereabout. I jerked awake, ready to fight, but Jo's small, warm hand covered mine and squeezed it gently.

I froze and looked around. It took me a second to realize where I was, but the feel of the wind on my skin and Jo sitting beside me made it easier to convince myself I wasn't in The Sanctuary any more. I swiped a hand over my eyes they were still gritty and burning. When I looked down at her she was looking up at me carefully. I nodded to her so she would know I was alright. We both climbed to our feet and I tried not to groan. I was stiff and sore and my body was exhausted.

We climbed down off the wall and our spot was immediately taken by one of Ezekiel's people. He musta made some arrangements. I didn't like the idea of his people watching us, but it did make me feel better about his security. Jo stretched her arms above her head, the t-shirt she was wearing pulling up to reveal a smooth expanse of her stomach.

I tore my eyes away from her. Whatever the hell was going on in my head got a lot quieter if I let myself get lost in her, but Rick needed us now and I wouldn't let myself hide. I was stronger than that.

We reached the group at the same time as Ezekiel. He smiled at all of us. I didn't like it. He was putting on an act, and things had got too serious to be messing around and playing at being a king

The people of the community had all come out and started their day. There were people working in the gardens, people teaching the kids, and the soldiers training and running in military formation. Others were lined up in front of a row of targets with bows and arrows.

"This is life here," Ezekiel said, gesturing around us. "Every day. But it came at a cost," he said gravely, looking around at his people. "And I wanted more of this. I wanted to expand. Create more places like this...men and women lost their limbs, children lost their parents because I sent them into battle against The Wasted when I did not need to."

"This is different," Rick said stepping forward. He seemed like he understood this was probably his last chance to convince the king to help us.

"It isn't," Ezekiel replied with absolute certainty.

I glanced over at Jo and she was watching Ezekiel carefully. Her lips were pressed together in a grim line and I could see she wasn't happy with what she was seeing.

"It is," Rick argued stepping closer to the kind. "The dead don't rule us. The world doesn't look like this outside your walls. People don't have it as good, some people..."Rick dragged off. "Some people don't have it good at all."

Ezekiel look back at Rick with hard eyes and I could tell then and there that we hadn't convinced him of anything. He wasn't gonna help us. We had wasted our time. "I have to worry about my people," he said firmly.

I shook my head in disgust. "You call yourself a damn king, you sure as hell don't act like one," I growled.

Ezekiel looked from me to Jo and back again. "All of this," he said gesturing to his community. "Came at a cost. It was lives, arms, legs." He turned back to Rick. "The peace we have with the Saviors is uneasy, but it is peace. I have to hold on to it. I have to try. Although The Kingdom can't grant you the aid you desire, the king is sympathetic to your plight. I offer our friend Daryl asylum for as long as he requires it. He will be safe here. The Saviors do not set foot inside our walls."

I shook my head angrily. He was a damn coward. "How long ya think that's gonna last?" I stalked away. After a moment I heard Jo following behind me but I didn't turn around. I just kept walking towards the gate. We had wasted our time here with these assholes. Their damn king had made us jump through hoops and stay the night when it was clear he hadn't planned on helping us at all.

"Let's go," I muttered, glancing back at Jo.

Her face was grim with disappointment, she looked pissed when she glanced back over her shoulder at Ezekiel. When she turned back she reached out and snagged my hand"I gotta run back and get the rest of my stuff," she said. "Be right there."

I nodded in agreement. "Hurry up," I called to her.

She winked at me. "Don't leave without me."

I snorted and shook my head. Only she could make me feel better when I was this pissed off. I stopped, just inside the gates and waited, watching as she jogged away. Rick, Morgan and Richard stepped up next to me, but I didn't look at them. I kept my attention on the direction Jo had gone.

"You can change his mind but you won't," Rick growled at Morgan.

Morgan shrugged shifting his weight uncomfortably. "Then you can stay and we can talk."

"How many people do we have?" Richard asked. "To fight," he clarified. I looked up at him and he was standing beside Rick wearing his armor with his weapons strapped to his body. "I'll go with you," he said eagerly.

Rick shook his head. "We don't even have enough people to take on one outpost face to face yet."

Richard sighed in disappointment. He shifted his weight and I glanced back at him. There was something about him I didn't like, but I didn't know what it was. I was gonna have to ask Jo about it, see if it was just me or if she thought so too. "So The Kingdom has to get involved or The Saviors will always be in charge," Richard said angrily. "It isn't about soldiers. We're making them stronger, the more food we give them, the more arms, the more everything, every day any one gives them something they become harder and harder to beat."

Both Rick and I nodded at the same time. He wasn't wrong.

I looked back the way Jo had gone, but didn't see her yet. She should be back any minute. "Alright open it up!" I called to the man on the fence. "We're gone."

Rick stepped up to me, his face tight with tension. "We are, you're not."

"I ain't staying here," I snarled back without hesitating.

"You have to," Rick responded. When I tightened my jaw, ready to fight he kept talking. "It's the smartest play, you know it is," Rick responded.

I started pacing, my hands clenched into fists.

"Try to talk to Ezekiel," Rick told me in a soothing voice. I hated when he talked to me like that, like I was one of the others he could just convince to follow his lead blindly. When I leveled a glare at him, knowing there was no way for me to talk someone into anything, Rick chuckled. "Or stare him into submission, whatever it takes. We'll be back soon," he promised. Then he swallowed tightly, glanced away from me and then looked back at me with wary eyes. "Jo will be back soon."

I frowned as I realized what he was saying. He wanted us to split up again. He wanted me to let her leave with him.

"No," I snarled without hesitating.

"She had to," Rick said. He glanced over his shoulder and I followed his gaze. Jo was just walking out of the building we had stayed in.

I scrubbed a hand over my face, the desperation was clawing and I felt like I was shaking. "She can't Rick," I muttered almost too low for him to hear. "I can't," I finally confessed not caring if I looked like a weak, love-sick fool in front of Rick. I couldn't let her out of my sight again.

Rick saw the change in me and stepped up next to me so he was was talking right in my ear so no one else could hear. "They're gonna come looking for you. They know she would be your first stop. She has to be there for them to see. They gotta see you aren't with her. As soon as they do she can come back. It won't be long before they come looking."

I tightened my jaw. "What if they take her?" I snarled, clenching my hands into fists. I was watching Jo as she walked towards us. The sun was shinning down on her and she was wearing her jacket once more, and had strapped her knives to her thigh. She was so beautiful. "I can't let that happen. I can't let him do to her what he did to-"

I abruptly stopped talking and spun away from Rick so he could see the emotions on my face.

Rick reached out and grabbed my arm, his eyes narrowed. "What they did to..." he raised his eyebrows waiting for me to finish.

I pinched my lips into a hard line. "Me," I finally finished. "What he did to me."

Rick's face shut down but his hands clenched into fists. "I won't let them take her," he promised me. But I knew there was no way for him to keep that promise. Not with Judith and Carl and Michonne there. Not when he had other people who's safety he put in front of Jo's. Jo was tough and resourceful and to protect the others Rick would let her swing for it.

I couldn't take that risk.

Jo was nearly to us now and she faltered slightly as she reached us. She glanced back and forth from Rick to me, her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"What's going on?" she asked slowly.

Rick cleared his throat. "Daryl's gonna stay here until after The Saviors come back to Alexandria looking for him."

Jo's eyes flashed to my face in surprise but then she slowly nodded. "That makes sense," she agreed cautiously. She turned back to me and I could see the question in her eyes. She was wondering if I was going to be okay on my own.

I jerked my chin down once. I could handle it. I reached out, snagged an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. I pressed my lips to the top of her head then forced myself to take a step back, letting her go. "Take care of yourself darlin'."

Jo shook her head in frustration, reached up and grabbed my face before mashing her lips against mine. She pulled back then, letting go of me. "You too Dixon," she called flippantly over her shoulder. It was an act, she was being tough for our group and for the people of the kingdom who were watching. I could see how reluctant she was, but she flashed me a reassuring smile before she followed Rick down the road.

I stood in the road, watching them walk away until the gates closed. Leaving me alone

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