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Jo

Negan.

He was here. Upstairs. In my house.

I swallowed thickly as I looked around. I was entirely exposed, wearing only a towel and I had no weapons.

"This is just Great, great, great, great, great!" I heard him saying from upstairs, but his footsteps had stopped moving. He wasn't coming here. I exhaled in relief. There was a chance he didn't know I was here. But that left just Olivia upstairs with him. Just Olivia standing between Negan and Judith. I had to get up there.

I ran into my bedroom, throwing the towel onto the pile of blankets sitting in the corner that used to be our bed. I hurriedly pulled on a pair of jeans and the first shirt my hands touched which ended up being a black tank top. I shrugged into my shoulder harness and fought to pull up the straps with shaking hands.

I forced myself to stop and take a deep breath. I needed to be more in control of myself before I faced Negan. Every time I had spoken with him he had the advantage, and I couldn't let that happen this time. Rick needed me to take care of Judith and make sure nothing bad happened while he and Michonne were away. They trusted me. Without them here, with Daryl and Maggie gone and Carol missing...that pretty much left me in charge.

I ground my teeth at the thought. I didn't want to be in charge. I couldn't be. I wasn't stable enough, I didn't always trust myself to make the right call. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath.

Stop, reset. I could do this. I had to do this. I was stronger than this prick. Stronger and smarter. The jury was still out on whether or not I was more sane. But that didn't matter. I pulled on my boots.

"Where's Rick?" I heard him ask. Well, whether I was ready or not the time was now. I couldn't leave Olivia up there alone any longer. I jogged for the stairs.

Olivia was standing before him clearly terrified. Her eyes were glued to the ground as she stammered, unable to get out a comprehensible answer.

"Don't care," Negan replied in a sing-songy voice, having lost his patience with her. "Where's Rick?"

Olivia continued to stammer and I could't take any more of his bullying. I shoved the basement door open, and it cracked against the wall. Negan whirled to face me, his hand gripped tightly around the handle of his bat. When he saw it was me standing in the doorway a pleased smile broke across his face. "Well if it isn't my hot friend. Mrs. Dixon, how are you?"

"Rick's scavenging for you," I said tightly, ignoring his comments to me.

I flicked my eyes towards Olivia and she took a step back, happily leaving me to deal with Negan.

Carl was standing over Negan's shoulder. I met his gaze and he nodded. He was fine. I was curious how exactly he ended up with Negan but now wasn't the time. I had a feeling Carl and I would be having a long talk if we survived this visit. I frowned as I realized he was no longer wearing the bandage over his eye. Instead, he had shaken his hair forward so it covered the scar. I turned to Negan and my eyes narrowed. I knew, knew this was something he had done, some form of control and psychological torture he had cooked up knowing Carl would be self conscious about it.

Negan studied me for a moment and then snapped into motion. "Cool," Negan said with a smile. "I'll wait."

I lifted a shoulder. "We don't know when he will be back. He went on a long run. It might not be today."

Negan pressed his lips into a tight line as he dragged his eyes up and down me. I could feel the tank top clinging to my wet skin, and droplets of water were still running down from my hair. A smile slowly stretched across his face and he took a step closer to me. "I'm sure we can find a way to pass the time..." he replied suggestively.

I stared back at him stone faced. He was bluffing, he was just looking for a reaction of some kind, trying to entertain himself. That's what I realized this all was, pure entertainment for him. And that allowed me to wrap myself in anger and push aside my fear. I hated bullies.

Olivia however, didn't realize he was baiting us. I felt her tense behind me. "Um," Olivia stammered over her words, her voice quivering with stress and fear. "We are running really low on everything. We're practically starving here," she said stepping forward, as though she somehow thought she needed to come to my defense.

Negan cut his eyes to her, and he stepped forward, cocking his head to the side as he studied her. "You?" he asked in disbelief. "You?" he asked raking his eyes over her. "And by practically you mean not really."

Olivia tried to hold back her emotions, but her lip trembled and she burst into tears. She whirled away from him, covering her mouth with her hand, trying desperately to keep from crying.

Negan stared at her in disbelief. He turned his back to her and cocked his head, looking at Carl. "Really?" he asked still laughing. "You people seriously don't have a sense of humor."

I didn't like how buddy-buddy he seemed to be with Carl. I shifted my weight slightly and glanced towards the windows. I wasn't surprised to see Saviors in the street and on the porch, surrounding Negan. A quick count told me there were at least five within shouting distance. My guess was he had come in full force and the rest were off waiting somewhere out of sight.

As Olivia continued to wail Negan turned towards me as though he expected me to fix this. I just shrugged I wasn't one who was going to comfort her. I wasn't the one who implied she was fat.

Negan sighed in exasperation and shook his head, turning back to Olivia.

"Excuse me," he said stepping up to her. "What's your name again?"

"Olivia," she ground out angrily, her back still turned to him.

"Right," Negan said nodding. "Olivia," he reached out gently and turned her to face him. "I am sorry for having been so rude to you just now. And it looks like I am going to be here for a while awaiting your fearless leader's return," he rocked back on his heels and hooked his thumbs through his belt. "And if you'd like...I think it would be enjoyable to screw your brain's out...I mean...you know, if you're agreeable to it."

Olivia stared up at him in disbelief then anger clouded her face. I took a step towards her, opening my mouth to stop her, but I was too late. Her hand cracked across his face.

Negan's head snapped to the side. A lazy smile spread across his face as he turned back to her. He leaned in close and spoke in a low, suggestive voice. "I am about fifty percent more into you now...just saying."

Olivia pulled back as she continued to shake in fear. Her eyes were wide and I could practically see her mind racing as she tried to figure out how to handle the situation she had created.

I stepped up, shoving myself between Olivia and Negan.

Negan looked down at me and I could see the shift from him teasing Olivia to regarding me. He was messing around with Olivia, but me, he took seriously.

We stared one another down for a few tense, silent moments. Then a smirk stretched across his face. "All right," he said after a minute, swinging away from me. "Well, I'm going to just put my feet up and wait for my shit to get here." He swaggered towards the living room then swung around pointing at Olivia.

She flinched and looked away as though him pointing at her was going to hurt her somehow.

He cocked his head to the side. "Olivia, would you be a lamb and make us some lemonade? I know we left you some of that good powdered stuff."

Olivia's eyes lifted to the floor above us and then back at Negan. "Well, I'm supposed to be with-" she stammered. So Judith was upstairs. I assumed Olivia had brought her up there to put her down for her nap.

"Make it!" Negan barked and Olivia flinched. "Make it," he corrected himself in a lower, calmer voice. "Take your time. Make it good."

Olivia ran her eyes over to me briefly. Negan followed her gaze and looked at me, an amused smile lighting his face. He arched a brow, waiting for me to give her the permission she sought.

I nodded to Olivia. She sucked in a ragged breath and skuttled towards the door. She ripped it open with trembling hands and fled. The door slammed behind her.

I turned back to Negan, lifting my chin defiantly.

He smirked, swaggering towards me. He leaned in close so his breath brushed my neck. "See, what did I tell you? A queen."

Then he laughed and turned back to Carl. "Okay kid, give me the grand tour."

I followed behind them as Carl led Negan through the house. Negan pulled his shoes off, letting his feet sink into the soft carpet. He played with the running water, amazed we all had it in our individual houses. When we went downstairs he eyed the dart board. I no longer had to hide my knife work and a couple of my throwing knives were still embedded in it. He pulled them out and tossed them at the target. They hit fairly close the center and he turned to me, smiling triumphantly as though that somehow proved something to me.

I kept my face impassive, I wasn't going to let him bait me. I wasn't going to perform for him, I wasn't here for his entertainment. I was here to keep Judith and Carl safe. That was all that mattered.

He walked through the hallway upstairs. "What about this one?" he asked, hesitating outside the one closed door. Judith's room. I hung back, my hands hovering over one of my knives.

"It's- it's just a water heater," Carl lied easily.

"Come on kid," Negan said shaking his head. He opened the door and went very still. "Oh my," he said and he shoved his bat into Carl's hands. Carl fumbled to catch it he was so surprised Negan would willingly give up his beloved weapon. "Look at this little angel," he said as they stepped further into the room.

I followed but stayed in the doorway. My left hand hovered over the knife at my spine. When Negan stepped up to the crib I closed my hand over the handle. I forced myself to stillness as he lifted Judith out of her crib. I could kill him now, I knew I could, but I wasn't sure what would happen with the rest of the Saviors following. Most of our fighters were gone right now. At best I had Spencer, Gabriel and Carl. The odds weren't good enough to risk it. I was good, but I couldn't take down all of them, not during the day, not if they saw it coming.

"Oh!" Negan exclaimed as Judith looked him in the face, her stuffed elephant still clutched in her tiny arms.

I felt a surge of protective rage rise as he picked her up.

Negan turned back towards me. I let go of the knife and he smiled at me. He knew exactly what I was doing. I arched a brow challengingly, daring him to call me on it. He just smirked. Then he turned his gaze back to Judith, bouncing her lightly in his arms.

He walked down to the porch and sat down in one of the rocking chairs, still cuddling Judith to his chest. He cut his eyes to Carl who immediately followed suit, dropping dutifully into the seat beside him. He smiled as he continued to rock Judith.

I stood behind them, my arms crossed over my chest so my fingers were brushing against the handles of my throwing knives. There wasn't anything I could do to stop this, but I could make sure Rick's kids were protected if anything went south.

"Oh, this little girl is precious," Negan said quietly looking down at her. "Hey neighbor," he called as Kevin walked by. Kevin startled at seeing the strange man sitting on the porch and his eyes cut to me. I jerked my chin in the direction of his house. Kevin wasn't a fighter, he would only prove to be collateral damage or someone I had to save if he stuck around. He nodded quickly to show he understood and rushed away.

Negan let out a low laugh. "Why don't you come by later. We might grill out," he called after the fleeing man. Kevin glanced once over his shoulder but his gaze met mine, not Negan's.

Negan's eyes cut to me with a knowing look, but I wasn't going to argue with him. I wasn't in charge. "Oh I like it here. I might just have to stay here." Then he looked away and picked Judith up so he could look at her face. "You know, I was thinking about what you said earlier Carl. Maybe it is stupid keeping you and your dad alive. I mean why am I trying so hard. Maybe I should just bury you both down in one of those flower beds. Huh? What do you think about that?" He asked in a childish voice, bouncing Judith on his knee. He leaned forward and kissed Judith on the nose. "And then I could just come and settle into the suburbs."

It wasn't long before Judith drifted off to sleep. It was after her nap time and she, as usual, somehow seemed impervious to the horror that was going on around her. When she was sleeping soundly I stepped up. "I'm going to put her down for her nap."

He looked up at me, quirking a brow since I had given him an order. But after a moment he nodded. I reached for her, and Negan met me, transferring the sleeping toddler into my arms. I had to brush against him, to get Judith, and it made me cringe, but I didn't let him see.

I carried Judith up the stairs and stood over her crib frowning. I didn't know if I should leave her in here where she could be so easily found. She was safest in her crib if she woke when we were downstairs, but...I sighed. I stepped up to the window and looked down. Judging by the Savior's body language in the street, Negan and Carl were still on the porch.

Making up my mind and deciding the potential consequences were worth the risk I shifted Judith to one arm and quickly arranged some of her stuffed animals beneath her blankets. I then turned and pulled the door closed behind me. I slipped through the kitchen, moving slowly so I wouldn't draw any attention through the windows. I carried Judith into the basement. I laid her down gently on the couch, moving slowly so I wouldn't wake her. Luckily it seemed the kid could sleep through anything. I went into the storage closet and pulled out the pack-and-play we had used for Judith when she was still sleeping in Rick's room. I carried it into the bathroom and set it up quickly in the middle of the room. I snagged one of the blankets off the floor in my and Daryl's room and tossed it and a pillow inside. I carried Judith in and laid her down, covering her with the blankets and tucking her elephant beside her. I flicked on the dim shower light so when she woke she wouldn't be in the dark.

It wasn't much of a guarantee of protection, but it would be one of the last places they would look for her. If they decided to try and use her against us they would be looking for her in the wrong place. And if there was any gun fire being in the basement and in a room surrounded by tile would be the safest place.

I went back upstairs and into her room. I rearranged the blankets so if someone glanced inside it would appear as though Judith was sleeping under the covers. I moved over to the small CD player and turned on the children's classical music CD Rick sometimes played while Judith slept.

I heard movement on the stairs and stayed put for a few more moments before I slid out of the door as silently as possible. I followed the sounds of Negan's laughter into the master suite.

Negan stood over the sink. He had found a straight edged razor in the drawer of Rick's bathroom. He glanced up at me in the mirror. He arched a brow, obviously asking what had taken me so long. "You get her down okay sweetheart?" he asked in a teasing voice.

I scowled at him and he laughed. "Seriously," he growled.

I sighed and shook my head. "Yes, she woke up when I tried to transfer her. That's why we lay her down when she is trying to take a nap, but I got her to go back to sleep."

He nodded and a smile flashed across his face. "You're a good mom," he said chuckling.

I glared back, but my teeth clenched. I was not going to let him get to me like this. I couldn't let him see that this was a sore spot for me. I would not react.

He turned back to look at himself in the mirror, the straight edge still in his hand. A smirk crossed his face and he held it up to me in the reflection. "Would you like to do the honors sweetheart?"

I stepped forward, drawing a knife as I moved. "I would love to," I slid the pad of my finger along the edge of my blade, just this side of breaking the skin.

Negan's face became serious as he watched me in the mirror. His eyes tracked the motion. Something moved in his eyes and then he suddenly smirked and chuckled. He spread shaving cream over his face and then drew the straight edged razor over his skin. "Now Carl, I'm going to give you two pieces of advice here, and they are both words to live by. First, always shave against the grain." he said, drawing the blade in another line.

Carl stood impatiently a few feet back. His body was tight and his arms were crossed over his chest in the classic show of teenage defiance. "And the second?" he demanded.

I met Carl's eyes and looked at him pointedly. He needed to remain calm and thoughtful. He looked appropriately chastised and dropped his eyes.

Negan just chuckled at our interaction. Then he turned his attention back to Carl. "Now, over the course of your life you will come across many beautiful but deadly things. Like our lovely friend Mrs. Dixon. And as much as you may want them, it's important to keep things in perspective. No matter how badly you think things will be different with you, sometimes you gotta let those things go or they will destroy all you hold dear. You hear me kid?"

Carl lifted his chin defiantly. "There's nothing wrong with Jo," he said simply, his jaw tight.

Negan drew the blade across his skin once more. "No. There. Is. Not," Negan agreed, punctuating each word. "But beautiful things can be deadly if you aren't careful. And our little friend Jo here..." he lifted a brow and raked the blade across his skin once more. "Is one of those beautifully deadly things you need to be careful of."

"I don't think I'm the one who needs to be careful of her," Carl responded calmly.

Negan laughed dangerously as he reached for the towel off the rack. He wiped away the rest of the shaving cream and tossed the towel behind him on the floor. He whirled around to face Carl and I a grim look on his face. "You might be right about that one kid."

"Daryl never worried about those kinds of things," Carl pressed.

I swallowed thickly as he said those things. I couldn't think about Daryl right now. I couldn't focus on that right now. I needed to stay focused on Carl and Judith right now.

"No, I imagine he would not." Negan growled at Carl. "But our man Daryl there is special," he growled out the word special.

After another tense moment Negan seemed to realize how serious he was being and he forced out a chuckle. "Who's hungry?" and he led the way out into the hall, not bothering to check and see if we followed.

He hesitated next to Judith's door. He glanced back at me as he baited me, but I didn't react. He cracked the door open and peaked in. I could hear the soothing music floating down the hall. He closed the door and looked back at me. "What a little angel," he said smiling. "No wonder you all work so hard to keep this place safe."

Negan led the way downstairs and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Carl make the rolls. Set the table will you Jo?" he asked, digging through the pantry. He pulled out an apron Carol used to wear and started making spaghetti.

"Damn, that smells good," he said as he wafted the sauce. He took a bite off his spoon. "Mm mm good." He scooped up another bite and stepped over to me. "Try a taste."

I froze, staring down at the spoon, he chuckled slowly. "Come on now, don't be like that. Just a taste," his words were innocent enough but his tone was suggestive. 

He wiggled the spoon in front of me and I turned away. He laughed out loud at that. "Okay, okay," he agreed holding his hands up in surrender and ate the bite himself before turning back to the stove. "How are those rolls coming Carl?" He called over his shoulder to where Carl stood at the center island a rolling pin in hand.

I heard movement out on the porch and turned in time to see Olivia and Tara coming up the stairs.

"Man, I love that," Negan gushed from behind me, his breath falling against my ear. "Having you around is as good as having a guard dog."

I lifted my eyes to meet his. "Daryl's better," I growled and turned back to the cupboards. I pulled down the plates and started setting the table. Olivia came in with the lemonade and stood at the island across from Carl as she made it.

Negan looked over at the table frowning. "We need one more place setting," he corrected me. Then he glanced at me teasingly. "And I don't think we'll need those knives," he said looking down at the silverware in my hands.

I turned back to look at him and he flashed me his creepy smile. I grit my teeth an put the knives away.

Negan forced us all to sit. He sat at the head of the table, with me on the other end. Olivia was to my left. Carl was sitting to Negan's left and the chair to Negan's right was empty.

We all sat around the table in uncomfortable silence for almost ten minutes and I realized all of this had little to do with us and everything to do with Rick. He had set the stage to bait Rick when Rick walked through the door. I only hoped Rick was in control of himself when he got home.

Negan sighed impatiently. "Well, I'm not waiting for your dad any more. I don't know where the hell he is. But Lucille -" he said lifting the bat up and setting it in the chair next to him. "Is hungry."

I scowled across the table at him. He pulled his napkin and tucked it into his shirt before turning to Carl. "Carl, pass the rolls." When Carl didn't immediately comply he rolled his eyes. "Please."

When nobody else moved he narrowed his eyes at us. "Eat," he commanded sharply.

Olivia whimpered, but complied. Carl was tense as he passed me the rolls. I ate, because I needed to, but it tasted like ash in my mouth. It sat in the pit of my stomach like a rock.

After a few moments Negan turned to Carl. "So, Carl. Are you in school?"

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Daryl

I ran down the hall, keeping low and close to the wall. I strained my ears to hear any voices or footsteps echoing on the cement floor. I had never been happier to be barefoot in my life. I moved silently. I slowed as I reached the first corner and stopped when I heard voices. Footsteps echoed and were headed my way.

I raised my fists, I would fight before I would let them get me back in that cell. There was a loud exclamation and something spilled, slipping up the hall towards me. The smell of vinegar burned my nose.

"Shit, now I have to clean up your mess!" a woman yelled.

I stumbled back a few steps and turned before they saw me. There was a door, left slightly open a dozen feet back. I ran for it.

It was a dorm room and it was a mess. I saw a jar of peanut butter sitting on the shelf. I grabbed it and started eating it with my fingers. My stomach cramped but it tasted so good after eating nothing but dog food sandwiches.

I heard the voices pass in the hall and whirled to the rest of the room. I wiped my fingers off on my shirt and snatched up some new clothes.

I pulled on a clean shirt and froze as I saw the small carved wood figures sitting on the table. I froze. This was Dwight's room. I ground my teeth and clenched my hands into fists. All my plans for escape were gone. I finished changing, grabbed my jar of peanut butter and sat down in the chair to wait. He would be back and I was going to kill that bastard for what he did to me.

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Hope you enjoyed the update, it was an especially difficult one to write for some reason. Maybe I'm just getting impatient for the reunion!!!