Daryl

I didn't breathe easy until we were in the woods. The moon had risen, giving us enough light to travel. Rick said it would take us hours before we made it back to where they left the car. Rick paused once we were deeper in the trees. In the dark I could make out two packs sitting behind a tree. He bent at the waist as he fought to catch his breath.

"We need to keep moving." Merle said angrily. He was still geared up, pacing around and anxious.

I leaned against a tree rubbing at my ribs where his first punch had caught me off guard. "They got anyone who can track in there?"

Merle snorted. "Not anymore."

"Than we're fine." I snapped. I was surprised by how pissed I was at Merle, and it wasn't all because of my ribs.

Rick held out a bottle of water to me. "You okay?" He asked.

I coughed once and nodded taking a deep drink of water. "Sore ribs, just bruised if anything."

Rick nodded, than turned to face Jo. She had hung back as we made our way through the forest. And now she was watching the woods around us with her back to me. Her knife was at her waist but she still had her hand resting on the grip. I tried to relate the woman standing in front of me to the one I had known months ago, but it just didn't seem possible that they were the same.

Maggie approached her from behind holding up the water.

"Here," Maggie said, she pressed her water bottle against the back of Jo's arm.

She must have caught Jo off guard or surprised her because Jo flinched away and then spun around to face Maggie, her knife was already out. Maggie squeaked in surprise and stumbled back away from her. Maggie tripped over her feet and dumped herself on her butt.

"Hey!" Rick yelled drawing his gun and leveling it at Jo.

Jo saw the movement and pivoted so her back was against the nearest tree, facing us all.

"Whoa, whoa whoa, Jo," I said. I stepped towards her so I was between her and the gun. I let my crossbow hang loosely at my side and held my other hand up so she could see I wasn't a threat. She was watching my hands and my shoulders, paying attention more to my body language than anything coming out of my mouth. Her eyes flickered at Rick and to Maggie as Rick pulled Maggie to her feet.

I remembered how Jo had jerked away from me when I was trying I help her through the gate. And again how I had startled her when she was fighting the Walkers. She was acting like a dog that had been kicked too many times. The sweat still glistened on her skin but she shivered as the breeze picked up and she looked a little shocky.

"Come on Little Brother," Merle called. "We don't got time for this. We gotta go."

I waved him off. Motioning for him and the others to back off. I was surprised when Merle actually listened to me and kept his mouth shut, only letting out a growl of annoyance. Rick didn't look convinced at first but when I gave him a hard look he finally complied and pulled Maggie back a few yards giving us the illusion of privacy.

Jo had seen me move my hands and sunk into that defensive crouch I remembered from the first time I saw her. Her eyes were hard and slightly glazed and I wasn't one hundred percent sure she was seeing me as anything other than a potential threat. She reminded me of a corner animal. 

"Jo," I said her name again taking a cautious step towards her.

She raised her knife in her defense, the moon through the trees cast shadows across her face.

"Careful little brother, Barbie there is wicked with a blade." Merle warned from behind me. "And she don't tell friend from foe too well these days."

I turned to face him. "Shut up bro. I know her."

"No little brother." Merle drawled and for some reason my asshole brother sounded almost sad. "You may have known her. But that was before The Governor got a hold of her."

Jo swung her gaze over to Merle and she narrowed her eyes at him. I saw the subtle shift of her changing the grip on her knife and I quickly tossed my cross bow on the forest floor at her feet, drawing her attention. She followed the movement and then slowly lifted her eyes to meet mine. Whatever was there before it was like she blinked it away and suddenly she saw me as a person instead of just a threat.

I  shrugged out of my vest as I crouched down, making myself smaller and held it out to her. "It's not much, but it will cover you."

She pressed her lips into a thin line and nodded. She lowered the knife and tucked it into the waistband of her shorts before reaching out to take my vest. Her fingers brushed mine and I was reminded of the bottle of whiskey we once shared. The CDC felt like a lifetime ago.

"I'm sorry," her voice came out in a hoarse rasp. Her eyes flickered to Maggie and to Rick. She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry." She said more firmly. "You surprised me," she started to explain. "That's...hard." she mumbled, "when people surprise me." She seemed embarrassed and she turned her whole focus to my vest.

I glanced over at Rick and Maggie who both nodded in sympathetic understanding. "Jo, what the hell happened?" We had been friends before, or at the very least we had trusted one another and I couldn't leave it alone.

She slid her arms into the vest and slowly zipped it up. It was way too big on her, but it would block some of the breeze and cover her. She didn't respond, she only lifted her eyes once to look at Merle and a bad feeling went through me.

"Kate?" I asked.

She flinched then and I knew. She looked away, shame filling her eyes. She just shook her head. "Kate's gone now." I frowned but didn't say anything so she continued in a quiet voice that I didn't think anyone else could hear. "We were on our own for three months. Scavenging and starving..." She blinked rapidly a few times though there were no tears. "We found Woodbury and she begged for them to take us in..."

I shook my head, not comprehending what could have happened to make that strong, proud woman who left after the CDC resort to begging to be brought in with those psychos. "How the hell you end up in that ring?"

Her eyes flickered to where Merle stood, open hostility shining in their depths and I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. "The Governor was interested..." She explained, her eyes dropping to where her hands fidgeted with the zipper on my vest. "I made it clear I wasn't. He pushed the issue, invited me to dinner..." She lifted her eyes to glare into mine. "I kept him off with the steak knife." Her voice was strangely hollow as she explained everything to me, like she felt nothing over what had happened.

Without breaking eye contact, I reached forward and before she could react I grabbed her knife. I pulled it out of her shorts so I could get a look at it.

Even in the dark I could see it was a steak knife. I slid it back just as she closed her hand around my wrist. I felt her change her grip so she could reverse it and twist my wrist but I gently covered hers with my other hand.

She flinched from the gentle contact and through the rage burning in her eyes I could see fear. I gave her hand a single reassuring squeeze so she would know I had no intention of hurting her. "He's a sick fuck." I said, shaking my head before I let go of her.

She smiled at me, but was an ugly baring of her teeth. "He enjoyed watching me fight for my life every week using the weapon I turned against him."

I nodded. "So you fought."

I rocked back on my haunches and nodded before I stood up. I offered her a hand but she ignored it and climbed roughly to her feet.

"This way," Rick called from deeper in the forest. "Stay alert, there's walkers everywhere."

I slid the knife off my belt and handed it to Jo wordlessly. I could feel Merle's eyes on me but surprisingly he didn't say anything.

She arched a brow. The moment of vulnerability was gone, her eyes were like granite now and she eyed me distrustfully.

I scoffed it off, reaching out and forcing the knife into her hand. This time she didn't back away from me. "It's not as small as you're used to but it will work until you can raid someone's china cabinet. " Then I picked up my crossbow and walked away following the group. It took a few moments but soon I heard Merle's light tread and Jo's even further behind him.

We traveled all through the night. Merle eventually came up so he was walking at my side. I listened to Jo's quiet footsteps while we moved. Satisfied that she was still with us. Unfortunately, traveling all night gave me plenty of time to think and feel guilty for letting her leave all those months ago. I knew it had been stupid, but it wasn't my place to stop her.

"Oh thank god!" Glenn exclaimed as we came out of the woods a little after dawn. He froze at the sight of Jo and Merle. "No no, no way. There's no way, he is coming with us." Glenn's eyes flickered to Jo and he froze and took another step towards her, his anger at Merle temporarily forgotten. "Jo?" He asked in disbelief. I didn't blame him, she didn't look anything like I remembered either.

Maggie eyed them both with a look I couldn't identify. "What the hell? You coming with us?" This did peak my interest.

Jo looked around us, pacing restlessly and refusing to keep her back to the woods. "No," she said finally, shaking her head. "I need to keep moving."

I didn't bother to keep in my sigh of disgust. Same shit, different day.

Rick stepped forward. "Jo, you don't need to be alone. You are one of us. You should come back with us." He reached for her.

Jo stumbled in her haste to keep distance between her and Rick. When he reached out a hand to steady her she nearly fell in her desperation to keep him from touching her.

Rick stopped moving and held up his hands. "It's okay," he said in a soothing voice. "It's okay."

When she spoke her voice was so quiet I almost didn't hear. "I don't do so well with people anymore. I'm better alone...safer." The last word was a whisper that made Rick look away. We had come across plenty of people who were broke by the new world, but neither of us had ever seen it happen to someone we knew before. Someone who had been so vibrant and determined. I remembered the woman who cried for her lost family and who was so terrified of losing the last person she had left. It made me want to go back and sink an arrow in the Governor's other eye. She had been maddeningly independent but this was different. She was different. Now she was afraid.

She turned to go and I stepped forward. "Hold up," I said, touching her lightly on the arm. She didn't recoil from me and I knew both Merle and Rick took notice. She didn't look at me, but she didn't pull away neither. "I want my vest back."

The look she gave me could have melted ice. She stared straight into my eyes and started unzipping the jacket. Her eyes were defiant but she unzipped it slowly as though making a show of it.

"Stop." I snapped angrily. I reached out and stopped her hand and turned back to the car. My pack was in the back and I dug around until I pulled out the same long sleeve flannel I had covered her with in the truck all those months ago. She looked down at it like it was a foreign object.

"You can step back in the woods and change," I said in a quiet voice, jerking my chin in the direction of the trees.

She scoffed and shook her head and whipped down the zipper of the vest, tossing it towards me. "I've endured worse." She growled. There were still streaks of blood painted across her torso. This close I could see the definition to her muscles and the scars that crisscrossed her pale skin, most were still pink making me think they were recent.

I grit my teeth as I thought of The Governor once more. He turned that determined woman into his personal walker-killing weapon. All for his entertainment. I felt sick.

I handed her the shirt and she froze for a moment as she stared at it. Then she punched her hands through it and buttoned it up. It was way too big on her and she was forced to roll the sleeves up to allow her hands to be clear of the fabric. She grabbed the excess fabric and tied it in a knot at the base of her back.

She pulled my knife off her belt and handed it back. I stared at it for a while and just shook my head. "You'll need it."

I remembered the look on her face the first time I saw her as she crouched over her family, prepared to kill us with her stupid golf club.

I took out my handgun and handed that to her too. Merle was watching me like I had grown a second head but I didn't want to hear it, he would never understand. 

I remembered how fierce she was running across the pavement of the CDC, throwing herself at that group of Walkers to give T-Dog and her brother-in-law a chance.

"Where you headed?" I asked, keeping my voice even. 

I remember how she trembled beside me on that damn elevator as she fought to keep her grief inside while tears shone in her eyes.

She shrugged, refusing to look at me as she checked her knives. 

I remember the look on her face when I stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. How she stared for a few moments before her nerves got the best of her and she began rambling.

"We're not far if you change your mind. Just over at the prison. Ten miles west." 

I remembered staring into her eyes as we shared that bottle of whiskey. The way her limbs became loose and we fought to forget what was happening around us.

"I won't." She promised. 

And I remembered that kiss too. I had thought about it more often than I cared to admit in the months following. The way she pressed against me as I forced the keys to my truck into her hand and asked her to change her mind and come with us. "I won't." She had promised me, and she had kept that promise.

"Take care of yourself Daryl." The words were mirror images in my mind. The last thing she said to me before and the last words she said now before turning and disappearing into the trees.

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Daryl

"It won't work," Rick said for the fourth time, his voice hard in his conviction.

"It's gotta," I pressed. We had been arguing in circles for nearly an hour.

"It'll stir things up," he countered, shaking his head.

I took a step towards him, narrowing my eyes. "Look," I reasoned. "The Governor is probably on the way to the prison right now. Merle know's how he thinks and we could use the muscle."

"I'm not having him at the prison." Maggie said with certainty as though it were her decision.

"Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol and Beth?" Glenn pipped in.

I pulled back and narrowed my eyes. "He ain't a rapist."

"Well, his buddy is," Glenn growled out the words and Maggie threw a horrified look in his direction.

I felt my breath catch for a minute as my mind flickered to Jo. Then I breathed out a sigh and focused on what I could change. "They ain't buddies no more. Not after last night."

"There's no way Merle's gonna live there without putting everyone at each other's throats." I hated how calm and certain Rick seemed. When he was like this, there was no reasoning with him.

"So you're gonna cut Merle loose and bring the last samurai home with us?" I asked incredulously, pointing to where Michonne stood with her sword, leaning against the car. 

"She's not coming back." Rick agreed.

"She's not in a state to be on her own." Maggie argued. "At least let my dad stitch her up."

Rick shook his head. "She's too unpredictable."

"That's right," I agreed quickly. "We don't know who she is. But Merle, Merle's blood." I pointed out, bringing the conversation back around. They had to understand.

"No," Glenn argued and I could see the anger burning in his eyes and I knew he wouldn't get past this. "Merle is your blood. My blood, my family is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison."

"And you're part of that family." Rick said with conviction. "But he's not. He's not." He said shaking his head.

I looked hard into each of their faces and saw they all agreed. Maybe if I hadn't just watched Jo disappear into the woods and felt like I lost her once more I would have kept my temper. But I was already on edge. I had already failed one person I felt responsible for. "Man, y'all don't know." I snapped taking a step away from them. When they didn't respond I shook my head. "Fine. We'll fend for ourselves."

Glenn's eyes widened and he took a quick step in my direction trying to back pedal. "That's not what I was saying."

I scoffed and snarled out my words. "No him, no me."

Maggie's voice became soft as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. "Daryl, you don't have to do this."

But now I was pissed. They called me family and I had shed blood to protect theirs and now they expected me to leave mine behind. "It was always Merle and I before this."

"Don't," Maggie gasped as she realized what I was saying.

"Are you serious?" Glenn asked looking back and forth from Rick to me as though expecting Rick to fix this somehow. "You're just gonna leave like that?"

"You'd do the same thing," I said simply.

"What do you want us to tell Carol?"

I thought for a moment and bobbed my head. "She'll understand." And I knew she would. Carol above anyone else would understand having to protect family. No one said anything, they just stared at me. When I couldn't take it any more I nodded grimly at Rick and shoved my way passed them, heading towards the car to grab my gear.

"Say goodbye to your pop for me." I said quietly as I walked passed Maggie.

"Daryl, are you serious?!" Glenn still couldn't seem to believe what was happening as he started to follow me.

"Daryl," Rick's voice was sharp, the one he used to bark out commands. But I ignored it. I heard his feet slap against the pavement as he jogged to catch up, leaving Maggie and Glenn behind. "Hey, hey," he said, swinging his shoulder in front of mine to get me to stop. "There's got to be another way." 

I shook my head. "Don't ask me to leave him again. I already did that once." I glared into his eyes as I said the words. The for you, hung between us unspoken but heavy . I gripped the strap on my crossbow as I stalked towards the car and Rick continued to follow. I glared at Michonne as I passed her, not bothering to keep my dislike hidden.

"We started something last night. You realize that, huh?" Rick asked in a hushed but urgent voice.

I lifted the rear hatch on the car and looked him dead in the face. "No him, no me. That's all I can say." I was resolute. I could not leave my brother, not again. But I did know I was leaving them in a bind and I felt bad about that. Rick's eyes flickered to where I knew Merle was waiting for me in the trees.

I glanced back at Rick before turning to my pack. "Take care of yourself. Take care of lil ass-kicker. Carl." I said, and my voice dropped as the gravity of what I was leaving behind hit me.

Rick nodded.

"He's one tough kid." I said grimly before I turned and walked away.

"Daryl!" I heard Glenn call after me, but I didn't look back. Merle was smiling and laughing as I approached him. He opened his arms as though he were going to hug me and slung his good arm around my shoulder.

I looked back once at the group before I turned away. "Come on bro."

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