Hello friends! I have been a writing machine for NaNoWriMo! I have a bunch of updates done but they all need a ton of editing. I hope you enjoy this one!

Happy Reading!

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Jo
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I woke up to the sound of Negan coming out of the bathroom. "Morning beautiful," he drawled.

I smiled as I stuck my head out from the covers I had cocooned around myself.

"Cold?" he teased coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his lean hips.

I glanced down at the covers I had pulled entirely over to my side of the bed and blushed. "Sorry," I said straightening the blanket by flipping his corner of it back across the bed.

Negan laughed, "don't be." He stepped over to his dresser and I shamelessly enjoyed the view as he dropped the towel and got ready for the day.

He stepped over to the kitchenette and poured a cup of coffee from the pot. He brought it over to me in bed. He held it just out of reach teasingly until I kissed him.

I wrapped my hands around the cup and breathed in the smell. It was such a luxury. One I knew wouldn't last forever.

"So," he said casually as he pulled on a white t-shirt. "You wanna tell me what Kate said that had you so upset you trained until almost three in the morning?"

I swallowed, my eyes widening. I hadn't realized it was so late when I came to bed. I looked down into my coffee mug and shook my head. I didn't think it was something I needed to bother Negan with. He had enough on his mind with the issues with Hilltop and Simon.

"Is it something I need to worry about?" He asked in that quiet, gentle tone he only used for me.

I looked up at him and he was staring intently at my face. All those emotions he kept hidden from everyone else were clear on his face now. He reached out and he cupped the side of my face.

I lifted my chin and sniffled. I had intended to keep it all bottled up. To not bother him with it, but now, I could see on his face that I didn't have to. I could share the burden with him, just like he had been doing with me. It was something new for both of us. Something we were going to have to get used to.

"She called me Mrs. Negan," I told him.

He arched his brows but wisely didn't comment. He just watched my expression carefully waiting patiently for me to continue.

"She called me a bully, said I was getting off on people worshipping me, just like you do," I said looking down at my hands. I didn't want him to feel like I was the one who thought he felt that way, because I knew he didn't. It was all part of the show, it was what kept everyone safe. We both understood that. It was my sisters own naiveté that kept her from understanding that it was only the strength of our threat that kept us from being attacked for what we had. The Sanctuary kept her and Tommy's little outpost safe, it kept the other communities safe by setting the rules and being the threat everyone was too afraid to cross.

"She asked me what I was becoming..." I finished looking down at my hands. That was really the piece that had plagued me all night while I was training, because I didn't honestly know. I never made the conscious decision to become this person, this thing, it was done to me and since I had just been reacting. Negan was the one who gave me a safe place to decide who I was. I still didn't know the answer, but I didn't think anyone did really.

Negan sighed, he reached out and laced his fingers with mine. I stared down at his hands. They were powerful, lined with years of work and so much larger than mine. They were hands that could snap a man's neck if necessary, and as I looked up into Negan's face I knew he would do it if he needed to. But they were also hands that had built this place, protected, and soothed my fears. He made me feel so incredibly safe. I tightened my fingers around his.

"Your sister is a grade A bitch," he said simply. It surprised me so much I let out a bark of laughter, but for once he wasn't smiling. His gaze was incredibly serious as he studied my face.

He licked his lips. "What do you think you're becoming?" he asked after a minute.

I looked up at him. His eyes were so dark brown that even this close I couldn't see the line between the pupil and the iris, like liquid chocolate. There were laugh lines around his eyes and mouth that I knew most people never got to see. His face was covered in scruff since he hadn't shaved yet and I loved it. I truly loved him.

"I think I'm becoming someone who can keep people safe," I finally said. "I think that before, I knew only how to keep myself safe and it made me a danger to everyone around me. Now I feel like I can actually help other people for once. Weakness into strength," I added with a small tip of my head towards him.

He flashed me a wry smile and nodded, but he still looked thoughtful. "And what about her accusation?"

"Which one?" I asked, exhaling away my stress. Negan was right. Kate was a grade A bitch sometimes and she knew exactly what to say to get under my skin and make me feel bad. It was one of her superpowers. I just needed to learn to let it go. Kate was always going to be Kate and I was the one who dictated whether or not her words had the power to hurt me.

"Mrs. Negan?" he asked, pressing his lips together. If I didn't know better I would say there was almost a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

I was going to shut that down right now. I shook my head. I climbed out from under the covers and swung a leg over him, sliding into his lap. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" I asked staring down at him a teasing glint in my eyes.

His hands kneeded the sides of my thighs and I resisted the urge I had to rub against him. He made me feel so beautiful and powerful.

He leaned up so his breath was hot against my ear as he spoke. "Aren't you already?" he asked, his voice a low rasp.

I pulled back and stared down into his eyes. "No," I told him emphatically. "That, I will never be," I promised him with absolute certainty.

"Hmm..." he dragged off, and there was maybe a glimmer of disappointment in his eyes but he quickly hid it behind his mask of humor.

I felt bad in that moment. I never wanted him to feel like he needed to use his mask to protect himself from me, but this was important and I needed him to understand. If we were going to do this, if we were going to be this serious, he needed to know where I was coming from and just like Kate, he needed to accept every piece of me.

"All those bimbos you had calling themselves your wives..." I said staring into his eyes as I spoke so he could see I wasn't jealous of them. It went deeper than that. Oh, maybe I had once been jealous of them, but now I had come to terms with it and moved on. Now, I felt incredibly strong about it for exactly that reason. "They meant nothing to you," I said with absolute certainty.

Negan nodded, his face serious as he watched me. I knew they meant nothing to him and so did he. He didn't try to hide it or protend they had been anything other than what they were. He didn't care about any of them, not really, not beyond them being people within the community.

"I'm better than that," I whispered against his lips.

He grinned away and swung me around, pressing my back against the mattress as he captured my lips with his. He pinned me down, his legs tangling with mine as his hands slid up under the side of my t-shirt.

"Damn right," he growled and he kissed his way down my neck. I reached for his belt, deciding there was no reason either one of us needed to rush this morning. 

Someone pounded on the door.

I groaned and flopped back against the mattress. Negan stilled and glared daggers at the door before climbing to his feet. He tossed the blanket over me so I was covered even though I was wearing a t-shirt and underwear. Sometimes Negan could be such a caveman, but honestly there was a part of me that loved how possessive and careful he could be.

He jerked the door open to see Travis standing there fidgeting restlessly.

"What?" Negan snapped. "It is goddamn rude to interrupt someone's morning quickie between coffee and breakfast," he snarled.

In the past I would have been mortified by Negan's crass exclamation to the world of what we were doing behind closed doors, but I understood the point. It was part of the show. The power couple of the apocalypse deserved their privacy. Someone was disrespecting us by disturbing us if it wasn't an emergency.

Travis paled, his eyes flickered to the room and Negan actually tensed. I bit back a grin. Travis was a bully and a coward and Negan was leaning into the show a bit for his benefit.

"S-Simon ordered me to come," Travis stammered staring at his feet.

"Did he now?" Negan drawled dangerously. "Ordered," he rolled the word around in his mouth. "Is that so?"

Travis nodded, but was too frightened to speak.

"Well then Trav, better deliver your message," Negan ordered, but all teasing was gone from his voice. This was another powerplay from Simon. Things were getting serious. Even I could see that. I just didn't know what the next step was to deal with it. I shoved myself into a sitting position.

"Simon s-said he was needed at Hilltop and he's leaving in an hour," Travis reported.

"Simon said, huh? And are you Simon's errand boy Trav?" Negan drawled dangerously. "Do you serve Simon?" he asked.

Travis's eyes widened and he immediately dropped to his knee in front of Negan. "No sir," he said hanging his head. "I-I am Negan," he said in a low tone.

"That's a good boy," Negan said smuggly. "Now, you run along and order Simon to wait at the gate like a good little boy for me."

Travis nodded too many times and turned to scuttle away.

"Trav," Negan called after him, his tone deceptively light.

Travis turned back, cringing. He had thought he was free.

"You use those exact words," Negan ordered. "To wait for me like a good little boy. Understood?"

Travis nodded too many times again, talking another step backwards down the hall away from Negan. He had just realized he had been sent to pull the tigers tail and his only hope was that Negan wasn't in the mood to kill the messenger.

Negan closed the door behind him and turned back to face me.

"Dissention is starting early today," I commented idly.

Negan scrubbed a hand over his face. "No shit sweetheart," he agreed.

"Et tu Brute?" I joked lightly.

He smirked and shook his head. His expression melted into something more serious as he looked down at me. "You tired from yesterday?" he asked, lines of concern on his face. "You didn't sleep much."

I grinned at him. "Not too tired for a fieldtrip," I assured him.

He groaned, dropping to his knees beside the bed so our faces were even. "I was hoping for that quickie."

I snorted kissed him hard and fast. "No time now," I said with a laugh. I shifted passed him and  tossed the covers away scrambling out of the bed to get dressed.

I pulled on my leather pants and a tight black thermal Henley. I shrugged into my shoulder rig and was just doing up the buckles on my thigh holster when Negan shrugged on his leather jacket and picked his baseball bat up off the coffee table.

"Get your girl and meet me at the gate in an hour," Negan called to me as he headed to the door. "I need to round up some men I know are loyal for this little excursion."

I frowned. "Do you really think Simon might have converted some of the men?" I asked, suddenly wondering if I needed to be more concerned about Negan's safety than I had been lately. He spent so much time worried about me moving through the factory alone I sometimes forgot that there was a chance I needed to be worried about him. Suddenly my joke about Caesar didn't feel so funny. Caesar had been assassinated.

Negan flashed me a confident smile. "Oh you don't have to worry about little old me," he assured me. "I can handle myself Sweetheart," he said and he leaned down and pressed his lips against my head.

"I always worry about you," I told him in a startling moment of sincerity.

He looked down at me, surprise flickering over his features for a second before he smoothed his expression. "We'll work it out," he assured me. "One way or another," he promised and he swung his bat in a circle to accentuate his point.

I nodded, knowing I was going to have to let him donn his armor a little sooner than usual. Simon had been his second in command for as long as Negan had been in power. I couldn't imagine what it must have felt like for Negan to know his trusted friend was behind a lot of the problems we had been having lately. Simon was making a serious play for power and we were going to have to respond.

Another thought hit me as Negan moved to the door. "I gave Arat the day off," I said.

"Did you now?" Negan drawled, pausing. "Well that is a problem," he said in careful voice .

I snorted. "That tone might work on your soldiers but it doesn't work on me," I assured him. "She didn't ask for it, I gave it to her when she stayed up until 2 am training with me so I wouldn't be alone."

He chuckled and I felt his lips brush the top of my head. "All right sweetheart." He agreed. "But if you are going to come with on this little run I want someone watching your six at all times. Simon isn't the only enemy we might be facing today."

I nodded and chewed on my lip thoughtfully for a moment, rolling a thought around before I spoke up. I didn't want to ambush him at the gate and have it be a problem. "What about Dwight?" I asked.

Negan frowned, pulling back. "What?" he asked.

"Dwight," I clarfied. "He recieved his punishment right?"

"Right..." Negan drew off and I could tell I was pushing a little. But that was okay. I could usually afford to push a little.

"I want Dwight watching my back."

"He betrayed us," Negan said stepping close to me. "And with Simon..."

"He didn't betray us to Simon," I said quickly. "He didn't betray us for power," I added. "He did it because of his wife. Who is no longer an issue now that her sister is dead and she blames him. He has nothing. I say we give him something to fight for and show people that we will grant second chances and reward loyalty."

Negan looked ready to argue. "I don't like using you as an example," he said. "I'd rather he work his way back up. Start washing the floors with his tongue."

I chuckled. "I know," I said gently. I reached down and laced my fingers with Negan's giving them a gentle squeeze. "I trust him," I said resolutely. Although I wasn't as confident as I sounded. This whole thing had the potential to blow back in my face, but I had spent a lot of time around Dwight. He had been pushed into a corner and felt there was no way out but what he did. That corner didn't exist anymore.

Negan sighed, but he didn't look happy. "All right," he said with a shrug. "What the hell," his jaw hardened. "But if you get even one stray vibe from that asshole you will put one of your pretty little knives through his good eye, you understand?" Negan said severely from inches away.

I smirked up at him and pushed up on my toes, smashng my lips in a fast kiss against his frowning mouth. He didn't move. I rocked back and could see his eyes softening. We both knew I didn't take orders from him. Negan blew out a frustrated sigh and stomped out of the room.

I went to find Dwight.

He was down in the mess, sitting alone. No one wanted to eat with the pariah. I got a tray, smiling warmly at Kristy behind the counter and went to sit with him. I dropped my tray down on the table with a clatter and sat across from him. Dwight actually flinched. He looked up at me and his eyes widened. Half of his face was still covered in bandages and I imagined they would be for quite some time. The burn had been horrific.

"How are you?" I asked conversationally. I kept my eyes firmly locked on his and didn't draw attention to the ruined half of his face.

Dwight looked away from me, shame burning in his eyes and I knew I had guessed right. It hadn't been his plan, not fully. He had been pushed, pushed by his wife, and his sister in law and their circumstances.

"Fine," he replied taking another bite of oatmeal.

I nodded. "How's Sherry?" I pushed.

Dwight looked up at me sharply but he didn't respond. I knew she had asked to be moved into the women's dorms, which meant they were no longer together. Dwight was no longer working to pay for a private apartment and had moved into the general workers dorms. Which was little more than a cot in a large room with ten other guys. He was totally alone.

I took a careful bite of my breakfast, watching the half of his face that wasn't covered in bandages. "Since Tommy moved, Arat has been working almost full time lately," I said. "Negan still doesn't like me moving around the compound alone, and is pretty adament that I have a bodyguard with me if we go anywhere," I said like it was news to him.

Dwight had been around me enough to know exactly what Negan thought about me being alone and potentially vulnerable at any moment.

"So she has the day off today and I'm in need of a body guard," I said taking a bite of my oatmeal.

Dwight stared at me with open shock on his face. "What?" he asked after a moment, looking at me like I was speaking Russian. "What are you asking?"

I cracked my neck. "I'm asking if you want to work as my bodyguard again? Or if you would rather stick with whatever terrible PT job Negan came up with as punishment. Cleaning the bathrooms or tending to the Biters at the fence I would imagine."

Dwight leaned forward as he watched me with careful disbelief. "He's not going to let me anywhere near you with a gun," he said ademently. "Not after what I did."

"Why?" I asked. "Are you going to try and shoot me?" I asked with a small smile so he would know I didn't actually believe he would do that.

"Of course not," he responded immediately. He wasn't lying. He had never had any intention of hurting me. He hadn't shown up for his guard duty but it had been on a day when he knew I was safely tucked away in the kitchens.  Dwight had never done anything to hurt me.

"Good," I said with a nod. I reached into the back of my pants and pulled out a handgun holding it out to him. "We're leaving in twenty minutes," I told him.

Dwight stared down at the gun. We were beginning to attract attention from the saviors milking around. He reached out with a slight tremble to his hand and took the gun, tucking it into his pants. "Why are you doing this?" he asked suspiciously.

It was a fair question, and one I wouldn't begrudge him if he was going to be sticking his neck out for me. I took another bite and regarded him with shrewd eyes. "Because Dwight," I said. "I think that you did what you thought you had to in order to protect your family. I think that you ignored what it might mean for you in order to do what you thought was right for them..." I dragged off and I looked down at my hands for a moment as I composed myself. "I don't think you need to continue to be punished for that," I told him honestly. "I'm willing to give you a second chance because I believe you saw what was out there and you may now know better than anyone why we fight to keep this place safe."

Dwight nodded. "Yeah," he muttered. "Yeah, I do," he agreed.

I nodded sharply. "Good," I said shoving to my feet. "Then let's go." He stood and followed at the appropriate distance. I hesitated and turned back around to face him. "Oh, and Dwight," I said.

He looked at me. As soon as he met my gaze I let every piece of the mask I kept in place fall away so he could see every dark place inside my head. "If you betray us again I won't wait for Negan to put on the show," I assured him. "I'll handle it my way."

Dwight nodded thoughtfully. "I would expect nothing less," he assured me and he followed me out to the courtyard.

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Negan
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I was beyond pissed. Sending Travis to my door like I was some pompous King who needed to be tended was the final straw. I was going to tear Simon apart myself if he wasn't careful. I stormed through the hallways down to the lounge. When I got there Simon was sitting in a chair with his feet up on the table while he watched a movie and ate cereal out of the bowel.

I slammed Lucille down on the table inches from his feet. He didn't flinch. I stared at him out of dangerous eyes. "Are you backsliding Simon?" I growled dangerously.

Simon swallowed the bite he had in his mouth and set the bowl down slowly, keeping his movements slow and obvious so I wouldn't mistake one of them for something that could be a threat. Well, I was done, everything he did was a threat. If he didn't have such a prominent place I would kill him right now and be done with it. But I needed something, I needed a trial and I needed to prove to people why it would be wrong to cross me.

"No sir," Simon said quickly. "I don't understand," he was playing dumb and that was fine with me.

"You send little Travis up to piss on my rug and tell me your itinerary?" I asked. "Like I Don't goddamn dictate that shit myself?"

Simon swallowed but kept his face devoid of fear, which I had to give him credit for. "Just have some business to take care of at Hilltop, didn't want you wondering where I went," he said like I didn't know my own goddamn business.

I picked up Lucille and dragged the barbed wire across the metal top of the table. It screeched like nails on a chalkboard and Simon's eye twitched. I smirked at him. "Great. We'll all go," I told him. "Like one big goddamn happy family."

Simon's face hardened but he didn't dare argue with me.

I cracked my neck. "I've been meaning to meet our friends at the Hilltop for some time now," I added. "Can't have it just be you they see, they might get the wrong idea."

Simon's hands clenched into fists but he forced a smile on his face. "Sounds great boss," he said through clenched teeth.

"Great!" I said. "I already picked out who will be coming along."

"You-" he started to say but stopped himself as he realized I was fully taking over this little outing, not tagging along on his.

"Meet you at the gate Number Two," I said with a wide grin. I dragged Lucille across the table once more until it fell free. I twirled her around in a circle and whistled as I made my way to the door, pleased he looked like maybe he was beginning to regret his life.

I didn't like that Jo was coming along on this one, not one little bit. Although i certainly had no complaints about how she handled things with the King. In fact I had been pleasantly surprised by her. But I didn't like the idea of her bringing the goddamn traitor along to watch her back. Arat cared about Jo, she was incredibly loyal to a fault. I liked that about her. But Dwight was a wild card. There was no telling where his loyalties lay anymore.

I cracked my neck as I watched the two of them come out of one of the lower doors. Dwight was submissively following three feet behind Jo. His shoulders were hunched but he was keeping his eyes on everyone who came near them. At least he appeared to be doing his job. I would give him that much, but I wouldn't be satsified until I scared him into remembering why it would be a bad idea to betray us once more.

I swaggered up to them and pressed my lips against Jo's hair. "Looking fine as ever Hot Friend," I said with a salacious wink her way. Jo rolled her eyes at my theatrics, but her pleased smile was real.

"So, D," I said puffing myself up and rocking up onto the balls of my feet. "A second chance..." I drew off and I ran my tongue along my lips. "Not something I'm normally down for," I told him seriously. "But-" I dragged off. "My hot friend here insisted."

Dwight nodded, his shoulders rolled forward submissively. I liked that, there was no part of him left that looked like he was going to rebel. He had gotten the stick and it was clear the message had stuck.

"Jo has already assured me if I make one wrong move she'll kill me herself before you have the chance," he said in a low tone.

"That's my girl," I said with a shit eating grin, pleases as hell it was the gods honest truth. She was mine.

The door behind us opened and Simon stepped out. He looked over the gathered men and his eyes zeroed in on me and then landed on Jo, narrowing a little. He could threaten me all he wanted, but if I got wind that he was going to aim his rage at Jo we were going to forgo all those careful rules I made.

I cracked my neck. "Let's get this party started," I said with a wide grin and I gestured for Jo to lead the way to the trucks.

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So...trouble with Simon...

I hope you guys enjoyed the update! I'm going to be deviating a little from the plot, but Rick's group is still coming!