I have neglected you for so long! I'm so sorry! I'm back!!! I hope you enjoy the next update.

Happy reading!

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Negan

"Jo!" I bellowed after her and even though I knew she could hear me, she ignored me. Nobody ignored me. I was the boss, I made the plan.

The plan I made should have kept her off the front line. The plan should have kept her standing right beside me with three men watching her where she would be goddamn safe. But she sure as shit wasn't sticking to the plan.

Instead, she ran head first straight at the bastards. They didn't know what hit them. They'd never seen something like her. I had seen her fight plenty of times, but not like this. This was more controlled than I had ever seen her, more calculating. She was faster than anyone I had ever seen, absolutely silent and a hell cat with those knives. She slid between the men killing as efficiently as anything I had ever seen. She twisted and jumped and arced her body in ways that reminded me of a dancer. Her ballet of death.

And she was mine.

Goddamn was she mine.

A possessive pride swelled up in my chest so strongly it shocked me. I was possessive of what was mine. That wasn't the shocker, but watching her fight...she was smart and fast and goddamn made for this world. What had been done to her pissed me off on a level so deep I wanted to kill every one who had touched her all over again. But what they had made...it was hard to argue with the results. Her head was still a little messed up but give it some time and she was going to make a hell of a savior. She was going to outlive us all, out fight us all. I would just be lucky to keep up.

Unfortunately, she had taken my little saying, turn weakness into strengths, to heart. Instead of holding back while the others cleared the way and she had some goddamn back up watching her ass she was running balls to the wall after the leader of this bunch of douche bags. Like she was nothing more than a common soldier. Like he somehow mattered enough for her to endanger herself. If she didn't get herself killed I was going to have to educate her about how the system goddamned worked now.

"Jo!" I yelled her name again as I fired off round after round. These assholes just didn't know how to give up. I glanced sideways and spotted Merle and Dwight both fighting, trying to keep up with her. They didn't stand a chance. They were both tanks and couldn't get through the line like she did. I didn't know where that pussy Tom went. She had trained him, said he was the best we had, and he was supposed to be watching her six. When I got my hands on him he was going to wish these bastards had killed him.

I shot three more men and looked up to check on her. I didn't like the clawing, tight feeling in my chest of her being so far away, or the need I had to keep her in sight. It was uncomfortable. I had never felt like this with my wives. Had any one of them done something so goddamn stupid I would have just shrugged it off. But this was Jo.

When I first saw her I had wanted her. She was hot yeah, but I had wanted a weapon. Then I got to know her and I wanted her. Now she was mine. I got my wish, and she was going to be the death of me.

Jo slid her knife through the base of a man's skull, pivoting away and clearing her blade to knock the hand of another aside. He fired his gun too late and she had twirled inside of his guard, her back to his chest. She slammed her blade straight up under his chin and the body fell away from her.

Her head snapped up, like a bird dog on point. I followed her gaze to see the leader of this band of assholes further down the hall. He looked straight at Jo and then bolted. Jo didn't hesitate, she kicked the body clear of her and ran, arms pumping, a knife in each fist. I ground my teeth. She was going to get herself goddamn killed. Why the hell couldn't she just wait?

She chased down the hall after him. The bastard musta knew he was in trouble. As soon as he spotted her moving like a Tasmanian devil after him he ran into the closest room. Slamming the door behind him.

Suddenly, I could breathe again. The spineless bastard had bought me enough time to catch up to her. I fought my way towards her, keeping half an eye on her as I shot anyone dumb enough to get in my way. Normally I would have tried to preserve some of these guys. Given them a chance to surrender and come into the fold. Normally, people were a resource. But now they were what was between me and protecting Jo. I shot three more and my rifle clicked empty. I whipped it around and swung it like Lucille, who I had left in the car. I smashed in some assholes skull and tossed it away from me, pulling a handgun. My guys were all fighting around us and the gunfire was so loud it made it hard to think.

When I killed the latest idiot who tried to slow me down I looked up to see Jo. She kicked the door, once, twice, three times. I hoped fruitlessly she was right and they were steel frames. She was strong but still small. A steel frame would slow her down even more. She kicked again and the door gave way. Without hesitating she bolted inside with no back up.

"Goddamn it Jo!" I bellowed and the door slammed shut behind her. Too fast for it to have been her. Panic clawed it's way up my throat. I didn't goddamn panic. Not over anything.

But she was mine goddamnit. Finally mine and I wasn't going to lose her to this bunch of douche bags who were only worth a couple of cans of soup.

"I got her!" Tom's voice called over the gun fire from further down the hall. He barreled his way through the door a knife in one hand and his gun in the other.

Nice of him to show up.

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Jo

My pulse was pounding in my ears and I was holding onto my control by the tips of my fingers. I chased the leader into the room. I had allowed myself to turn my considerable focus onto him and I could think of nothing else.

As soon as I crossed the threshold I heard Negan's frustrated bellow, "GODDAMNIT JO!"

He was going to be furious. I knew that. Somehow I was still thinking clearly enough to decide dealing with his fury would be worth it. I could end this right now.

The door slammed shut and someone hit me from behind. I cursed myself for allowing thoughts of Negan to distract me. I was going to get myself killed if I let myself lose focus. The blow was powerful. I turned with it, so it glanced off instead of crushing my skull.

One miss step, one moment of distraction and I could have died. I couldn't be that Jo right now. I couldn't be the Jo who was falling for Negan. Or the Jo with a family in Merle and Katie. I couldn't even be the Jo who had left her team behind to gain a tactical advantage. I needed to be be the Jo The Governor made. The one who had been honed to survive by countless cage matches kept alive by nothing but fear for my sister, and the determined, simmering rage that promised revenge for what was done to me.

I needed to use that. Negan's calculated, chuckling voice echoed in my mind. Weakness into strength.

Followed quickly by Merle's You're gonna fight...'til you can't anymore.

I could always fight. I tightened my jaw, listened to the pounding pulse in my ears and focused.

My body staggered sideways as my head spun and lights exploded behind my eyes. I pushed aside the pain and gathered myself, coiling my muscles like a snake preparing to strike.

The leader was on me in a second. He swung the chair leg towards my head again and this time I ducked under his guard. I kicked up and my boot caught him across the jaw with a snap. He staggered back for only a second before he caught his balance, easily shaking off what was probably close to a fractured jaw.

This man was a fighter. A good one. I watched his shoulders and his hands. He still had the broken piece of wood in his hand. When he moved it was fast. He threw the chair leg at me with his left while swinging at me with his right. I raised my forearm to block it while throwing the knife in my left hand. He dodged the blade rolling across the bed away from me.

A part of my brain recognized this didn't make sense. He was almost as fast as me, stronger and had a longer reach. Tactically it was to his advantage to stay close. Further away I had the advantage with my knives.

I ran towards him but he was too far away. I heard the clatter of something on the night stand and raised my right arm, prepared to snap off the knife.

He swung back around and I froze as he pointed a gun straight at my chest.

He smiled at me victoriously. "You sure are something," he admired.

There was a gunshot and I flinched, expecting pain, but there was nothing. When I looked up the leader was on the ground, clutching at his chest with blood blossoming into his hands. I turned to see Tom standing in the door. He had a handgun in one hand and a knife in the other. His gun was still pointed at the leader. He fired another shot into the dying man's forehead.

I wanted to tell him that had been a waste of ammunition. He should have used his knife. But it was like I couldn't form the words. Like I had forgotten how. Instead I scowled at him.

He lifted his eyebrows at me. "Where's your backup?" he teased, but I could see in his eyes he was nervous. Which didn't make sense. The threat in the room was gone.

I blinked a few times as my mind struggled to process the words and the interaction.

There was another movement by the door, too fast for my brain to process before my instincts took over. I whipped towards it and Tom raised his hands to show he wasn't the threat.

Negan however looked every bit like a threat. He looked over the room, his eyes landing on the dead man. He shook his head and strode towards me purposefully. Either not noticing or not caring where my head was at. I knew him, I recognized him, but his blood was up from fight, blood spattered him and he looked dangerous. The part of my brain I couldn't control recognized he was the only one here as dangerous as I was. The only one here who posed a threat.

My equal, my instincts whispered to me and I tasted panic on my tongue.

I couldn't turn off that part of my brain, but I locked down my body. Refusing to allow myself to fight. He wasn't my enemy. I was safe with him. I knew that.

He strode across the room like a storm rolling in, his face was hard with barely contained fury and unconsciously I rocked my weight back. He stopped just in front of me but when he looked down at me his eyes were clouded with concern instead of the fury I expected. He swept his gaze over me and with his back to Tom he allowed relief to flicker across his face.

It was like I could take a deep breath for the first time since the fighting started.

He jerked me against his chest. "Don't ever do that again." His words were a rough command whispered near my ear. I could feel his heart thundering in his chest as he cradled me against him with painfully gentle hands.

When he stepped back he finally looked down at me. He cocked his head to the side as he studied me carefully. "You still with me sweetheart?" He asked gently. Either he didn't know or didn't care Tom was still in the room.

I looked up at him, staring into his liquid chocolate eyes and nodded roughly. I swallowed thickly. I was.

He nodded briskly and swung back around. He pointed at Tom. "Get that assholes head," he commanded and then he turned to me. "Stay close," he ordered.

I was surprised to feel a grin beginning to stretch across my face. I twirled my knives through my fingers as my confidence surged. "You got it boss," I said and I winked at him. It felt almost surreal to be able to joke so close to losing control. Negan gave me that.

Negan smirked down at me and shook his head. He leaned in and kissed me hard and fast. "You are going to be the goddamn death of me," he grumbled against my skin.

I shrugged, "if you can't keep up old man..." I joked flippantly.

Negan growled low in his throat and swung towards me. He backed me up until my back hit the wall. I sucked in a sharp breath of surprise. His hand closed possessively around my hip and he leaned his large frame into me. All I could see, smell and feel was Negan. Desire swam through me and without thought my arms wound around his neck, drawing him in.

His lips found the sensitive skin just under my ear and I shivered. His low, suggestive chuckle had things low in my body clenching, and I rubbed myself against him.

Behind us Tom cleared his throat meaningfully. We both turned, embarrassment making my cheeks burn while Negan simply growled in annoyance. Tom lifted the leader's severed head up by it's hair and lifted his eyebrows meaningfully.

I wrinkled my nose and Negan stepped back. He took the head from Tom and led the way out of the room. I was for some reason still embarrassed Tom had witnessed Negan and I and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Tom for his part was as jovial as ever and seemed entertained by the whole evening.

I liked Tom. It was a strange thing for me because I wasn't normally inclined to like someone Kate would choose. Though normal didn't really apply these days. Over the last few weeks I had a chance to get to know Tom in training. He was a strange combination of sometimes brutal survivor and funny and light-hearted comedian. I could see what Kate liked about him. He must have made her feel incredibly safe while keeping a positive attitude about the whole situation. He was entirely devoted to my sister and his training. He was determined to not only survive but thrive in this world, and he had saved my life twice now. It was a strange thought, but he and I might just be working our way up to being friends. Especially if Negan kept assigning him to guard duty when he thought I didn't notice.

Negan led us back out onto the balcony where the fighting had slowed. "Alright you assholes!" Negan called out, his voice echoing down the hall. "Your boss is dead!" He bellowed holding their leaders head aloft by the hair. "Any of you bastards that are still alive and don't want to keep fighting can come out now!" Negan pauses theatrically. "Imma give you to the count of ten and then we are going to huff and puff and tear your house down." And he threw the head away over the railing where it landed in the middle of the courtyard with a viscous squish. All fighting ceased.

Beside me Tom chuckled. There was a part of my brain that recognized this was not a normal reaction. That piece that was still clinging to who I had once been, who genuinely believed I should somehow be horrified. But I couldn't muster up the energy. It was gruesome and horrific, but wholly effective.

Half a dozen men threw down their weapons right there. Several others seemed to decided throwing themselves on the sword was better than being taken prisoner by us. Simon was all too happy to oblige, shooting them before they were able to hurt any of our people.

"One!" Negan yelled.

Three of the ten doors on our floor opened and people came out with their hands up.

"We surrender!" A man yelled. I turned to see one of the men who had been standing beside their now dead leader when we arrived. He was bruised and bloody and holding his hands over his head along with four other men.

"Please," he begged and it was like he couldn't look away from the remains of his dead leader.

Negan caught Simon's eye and nodded to him. Simon stepped forward, pushing his gun into the man's face.

"Search them!" Simon ordered and Saviors snapped into action, moving like a perfectly trained unit.

Negan turned back to the rest of us. "All right boys and girls let's clear the rest of these rooms."

I turned and moved towards the next door. Negan reached out and stopped me. "Just where the hell do you think you're going?" He asked in that light, oh-so-casual, voice that let me know he was serious.

"To clear the next room," I replied flippantly moving to step around him.

Negan stepped in my way again and stared hard into my face. I glared back, letting him see he wasn't going to talk me out of it.

He sighed and checked the clip of his gun. He looked over the top of my head to Tom who was standing just behind me. "Be a good boy Tommy and fetch Lucille from the truck for me," Negan ordered.

Tom took off at a jog. All around us I could hear Negan's people yelling clear as they worked their way through the hotel room by room.

I never looked away from Negan. He was in his element here. Powerful and controlled. His eyes were determined and I couldn't help remembering the feel of him pinning me against the wall. I looked away as a shiver went up my spine. His low chuckle let me know he had read exactly what I was thinking on my face.

I snapped my head back around and scowled at him.

"Oh sweetheart," he breathed. "You know what it does to me when you glare at me," he chuckled.

Tom came back with Lucille in one hand. He handed the bat over and gave Negan another clip for his gun. Negan nodded his thanks.

Merle and Dwight appeared behind Tom. Both were sweating and bloody but neither appeared injured. Negan looked at the three of them then jerked his chin back down the way we had come.

"Take the rest of those rooms, Jo and I will finish up with these."

The others obeyed without hesitation. Each easily conceding to Negan's leadership making it clear he was the alpha here.

Negan lifted his handgun and kicked open the next door. I stepped forward and the two of us swept the room. There were lots of supplies but nobody here. I silently catalogued the weapons and food stores, to make sure someone came back and collected them.

When we reached the next door, I kicked it open before Negan could. I frowned as the smell of biters and something else hit my nose. I scowled and opened my mouth to say something when the biters were suddenly on us. I spun around, putting my back to Negan as I snapped off a few knives. I couldn't count how many there were. I could see six. Every single one of them had blood on their face. I sucked in a breath and the scent of illness and rot filled my lungs. I closed my eyes and pushed myself beyond that. It wasn't just myself facing the threat. Negan was here too and I couldn't lose it on him. He needed me.

I could feel Negan fighting behind me. Feel his heat, his movement, the rhythm of his body. Instead of worrying about fighting with him so close I let myself sink into it. I let myself feel nothing but Negan. I was always amazed how well we moved together. How intuitive it could be.

I snapped off three blades without thought and kicked back the closest biter to give us room. Negan fired off two shots and then started swinging his bat. When the last biter fell I was panting. It was hot and stuffy in the room, making the smell that much worse. I glanced back at Negan but he was studying the body closest to him. He toed its head, making it turn so he could see better.

"What the shit do you make of this?" He asked in a low voice.

I looked back down at them. Every single one had blood coming out of their eyes, ears and nose. I shrugged. I had never seen anything like it before.

Negan cocked his head to the side and scowled but finally shrugged. "Let's move," Negan called nodding towards the door. We had two rooms left.

He kicked in the next door so it was him that was nearly beheaded by the machete.

"Negan!" I yelled launching myself at the man who had swung it. I slammed into him, tackling him to the ground and buying Negan time to get his feet back. It would have been a good plan, expect there were two other men in the room. One grabbed me from behind burying their fist in my hair and wrenching me to my feet. As he dragged me away I slammed my blade into the throat of the man who attacked Negan. Leveling the playing field.

The man holding me cried out in surprise to see his friend fall to the ground dead. He jerked me backwards away from the body by my hair. I gritted my teeth and refused to make a sound. I was about to fight back but a gun was pressed against my temple before I could reach for another knife.

I sucked in a sharp breath.

"Okay, okay just take it easy there big guy," the man called. When I looked back at Negan he was already on his feet and pointing his gun at the man holding me.

"We just want to leave," the man holding me said, jerking his chin towards another man standing at his side. Two of them and two of us. We could do this.

"Not happening," Negan growled dangerously. Negan met my gaze briefly and I let him see I was in absolute control.

My hands were hanging at my sides docilely. What the idiots hadn't noticed was it put my finger tips only an inch from my thigh sheath. And I still had one more knife in it. All I needed was one.

"You just stop right there," the man holding me commanded. "Lower your gun or I'm going to shoot her."

Negan cocked his head to the side and shifted his weight. He was positioning himself to take out the second man, which meant he was going to trust me to handle this asshole.

"You know what I think?" Negan started to say.

"What's that?" The man asked.

And I moved. In one seamless motion I stomped down on the man's instep and slammed my left forearm against his gun hand. The gun went up and went off right next to my ear. It made me flinch. But I only lost a second. I turned still inside the man's arms drawing the knife as I spun. I pressed the spine of the blade against my forearm and slit his throat as I spun. I stepped out of his arms as he fell. I looked up to see Negan standing over the over man, his bat still dripping blood.

He moved towards me then. Throwing the bat down away from him. "Are you okay?"

I nodded just before a pile of Savior's appeared in the doorway all with guns drawn.

Negan was moving towards me even before I had a chance to react to what my body perceived as the next threat. He stepped between me and his men, using his body to shield them from my sight.

"Boss?" Simon called uncertainly from the doorway.

"I've got it," Negan called but he never took his eyes off of mine. "Get outta here." The men took Negan at his word and disappeared, leaving us alone.

We were only a foot apart. Both of us were still fighting to catch our breath after what had just happened. The whole thing had taken less than two minutes. We stared into each other's eyes and I waited for my breathing to slow. His eyes were predatory and glittering with adrenaline. I remembered the last time he had looked like that, in the market, when he kissed me for the first time.

My skin was flushed and I looked away. "One more?" I asked unnecessarily, because I needed something to fill the thick silence that stretched between us.

Negan nodded but was uncharacteristically silent. He held the door for me and I had to brush against him to step back into the hall. He looked straight down at me, his eyes dark and clouded with something I couldn't identify. It made me shivery and uncertain. I swallowed and forced myself to keep moving.

We had one last room to clear and it was empty. My breathing was still coming too fast and it felt like I couldn't tear my focus off of Negan. The fight was done but my skin felt too tight. My chest rose and fell as I worked to get my body back under control.

"You okay?" Negan asked glancing back at me. Whatever he saw in my eyes had him pausing. I bit my lip and his eyes dropped to follow the motion. His chocolate eyes darkened another shade and my breathing hitched up again but for a very different reason.

"Everything's clear boss!" Simon's voice called too loudly from out in the hall.

Negan cleared his throat before he spoke. "Check all the rest of the rooms, take everything. I want this place gutted. Get those assholes tied up," he ordered.

"You got it," Simon called back.

Negan swung around so fast I flinched. He kicked the door closed behind him. He crossed the room in three long strides before he grabbed me, jerking me against him. His lips crushed against mine and his hands tightened possessively at my waist.

I shuddered and moaned into his mouth. This was exactly what I needed. I gripped him, feeling his ab muscles beneath his fitted white t-shirt.

"Negan," I moaned in a husky voice and he covered my mouth with his in a bruising kiss. There was a fine tremble to his muscles and I could feel he wanted me as badly as I wanted him. He was holding me almost too tightly. I slid my hands up under his shirt so I could feel his skin and he made a rough sound in the back of his throat. He pulled back long enough to strip me out of my jacket, tossing it aside. I heard it land but it didn't matter. I dropped my hands to his belt. He made a noise of frustration as he worked all the buckles holding my shoulder rig to my belt. With an impatient growl he undid the last buckle and stripped my jeans and underwear in one rough jerk. Then he grabbed me, lifting me effortlessly into his arms. His fingers dug into my thighs as he kissed me desperately.

I moaned into his mouth and wound my arms around his neck as I moved against him. I buried my hands into his hair.

The breath was knocked from my chest when he slammed me back against the wall. I gave his hair a rough jerk in retaliation and he laughed low and dark in his chest.

I couldn't get enough of him. He was completely surrounding me and I couldn't think straight. I just needed to feel more of him. My adrenaline was still up and my skin was tingling. I needed more. Needed to feel more.

It didn't matter that this was the wrong place, that anyone could walk in on us. Negan's hands were demanding as he used both the wall and his own strength to hold me up. With the door closed the only sound was our heavy breathing. My gasps turned to moans and Negan's lips dropped to my neck. His teeth teased the sensitive skin as his free hand dropped between us. I sucked in a breath, bucking against him demandingly.

Negan let out a knowing chuckle that I felt rumble through his chest. "Patience sweetheart."

"Now," I growled against his lips. He smirked at me "Yes, ma'am," he growled and slid home roughly. I threw my head back and moaned.

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Jo

If anyone knew what Negan and I were doing in that room when we emerged half an hour later they didn't acknowledge it. Everyone was going about their work, steadfastly ignoring me. I felt self-conscious and embarrassed like a teenager who had gotten caught making out with their boyfriend. We were in enemy territory and I had just had a fricking quickie with Negan.

Negan leaned down and brushed his lips across my neck as he passed me. His hand caught my hip briefly and he squeezed it reassuringly as he moved by to check in with Simon. I crossed my arms over my chest wishing a hole would open in the earth to swallow me whole. I wasn't sure what had gotten into me. I didn't do stuff like this.

"Hey Jo!" Tom called brightly practically bouncing up to me.

I flinched and spun around to face him.

He hesitated for only a second as he approached me. His hands were full of the knives I had thrown over the course of the fight.

"You okay?" He asked, holding them out to me.

I practically flinched back and was sure he could read the guilty expression all over my face. "Yeah, why?" I tried not to snap defensively, but failed miserably.

Tom frowned in confusion but held my knives as I took them one by one sliding them away. As their weight grew in my shoulder rig so did my comfort.

"You looked a little shaken up by what happened in that last room with those assholes," he clarified. "Just wanted to make sure you were good," he said with a nervous chuckle. "Kate would kick my ass if you weren't."

I let out a sigh of relief. He thought Negan and I had disappear because I was having some kind of breakdown. That was considerably less embarrassing.

"And you'd deserve it," Merle called gruffly as he strode up to us. "Get the rest of that shit stowed," he ordered Tom, jerking his chin towards the last few boxes. Tom nodded respectfully and snapped into motion.

"That wasn't very nice," I commented as soon as Tom was out of earshot.

Merle snorted. "Never pretended to be nice Barbie," he leaned towards me, his eyes narrowing. "And don't think I'm as dumb as the kid there," he growled and he stomped off in annoyance as a fresh blush of embarrassment colored my cheeks.

"All right!" Negan's voice called. "Let's load up. We got one more stop tonight and I don't know about you but I got a damn good reason to get my ass to bed." There were a few knowing chuckles but surprisingly no one looked my way.

I climbed up into the truck beside Negan still feeling off. He rested an arm across the seat behind me however and pulled me close to him. "Relax sweetheart," his voice was a husky rasp in my ear. "It's almost over."

<><><><><>

Jo

When we pulled up to the satallite station it was dark. Gavin and his team met us. "Nothing to report," he said shrugging. "How were things at the hotel?"

"Just peachy," Negan responded. "Got the goods."

We approached the front door with Merle, Dwight and Tom behind me and Simon and Gavin flanking Negan. Negan pounded on the door.

Strangely there was no answer.

Negan tried the handle and it turned easily. His whole body tensed and he gestured to Simon who barked out orders to the other men to pair off. I looked over at him and he met my gaze. The whole situation had him uneasy. He opened his mouth and I somehow knew he was going to try and get me to stay behind. The man would never learn.

Before he could speak I stepped forward and grabbed the door, holding it open for him. "After you," I said flippantly.

He scowled but led the way. We walked through the front door.

"Hello!" Negan called loudly. "Knock, knock!" His voice echoed down the empty hallways. "We've got some stuff you've been looking for!"

There was no answer. It was oddly quiet. Negan glanced back over his shoulder at his men frowning. "Spread out," he ordered. "Find Matt. And watch your ass."

I drew two knives and together we headed towards the first closed door. I took point with Negan behind me, pointing his rifle. I knew it irked him to have me in front but it made the most sense. We could fight about it later. I kicked open the door and Negan surged up sweeping the right side while I went left. The room was empty. I frowned. It looked like a bedroom. There were at least six beds and dressers all looking well used. Someone should be here.

"What the hell is going on?" Negan muttered under his breath.

We cleared the remaining two rooms down the hallway but the place was a ghost town. My instincts were on high alert and every part of me was saying there was something wrong here.

At the end of the Hall was a narrow, metal service stairway.

"Up or down?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"Ladies choice," Negan offered with a smirk. I could see the tension in his shoulders despite the easy smile. He didn't like this any more than I did.

I led the way up the narrow twisting service staircase. It was a maze of narrow corridors and confusing hallways. I had thought The Sanctuary was bad, but getting trapped in this place would be a nightmare. Defensively it was a hell of an advantage. I had to applaud Matt's decision to keep his people here. Assuming they were still here somewhere.

Negan and i cleared the top floor and headed back down. We hadn't seen anyone. Not only that but every room was perfectly intact looking as though its occupants had just stepped out.

We moved down to the basement. As soon as we stepped into the dark narrow hallway my breathing kicked up as my stress level rose. It was damp and the walls felt too close. Negan clicked the light on his rifle on and lit the passage in front of us but it didn't make me feel any less claustrophobic. I could smell the wet, damp concrete and somewhere, the decaying stink of biters.

Stop, reset. I mouthed silently to myself. I needed to get control of myself. I was winding up.

"Jo," Negan's voice was a hushed warning.

The sound of it startled me and I turned to him. My eyes felt too wide and my face was completely slack, utterly devoid of emotion.

"Talk to me sweetheart," he said in a low, overly soothing tone.

I blinked at him for a second while his words processed and I realized I was being scary to the scariest person I knew.

I had to swallow twice before I could remember how to speak. "I'm fine," I promised him.

He stepped up close to me, close enough I could feel his body heat. He shifted his rifle into one hand and grabbed one of my wrists. Ignoring the knife in my hand he flattened my palm against his chest. He pressed hard. It couldn't have been comfortable to have the flat side of the grip pressing against him but he didn't show any discomfort. Instead he stared down at me, waiting.

"What are you-" I started to ask but the feel of his heat and heartbeat were already settling my fraying nerves.

"I need you to stay with me sweetheart," he said firmly. He pressed his lips together and in the near dark I could still see the regret in his eyes. "I shouldn't have brought you down here."

He was apologizing. Negan was apologizing to me. I frowned and that more than anything helped snap my brain back to the situation at hand and keep my mind away from the past. "Let's finish the sweep and get home." I said firmly.

Something flickered in Negan's eyes so fast it was hard to track. It was a glimmer that seemed equal parts possessive and contented. He was pleased I referred to The Sanctuary as Home.

He nodded briskly and led the way down the hall. We found three store rooms, all looking the worse for wear. Which wasn't surprising given the amount of supplies we found at the hotel. I turned to the last door. I swung it opened and was slammed into. Behind me I heard Negan shout as another body barreled towards him. I was knocked off balance but I had a single moment, a second where I got to decide if I was going to sink the knife into my own attacker or save Negan.

The knife flipped off without a thought. It embedded itself in the spine of the man attacking Negan as the man who had barreled into me closed his hands around my throat. The man attacking Negan dropped like a puppet with its strings cut.

My attackers hands were hot, like searing brands around my throat. His skin was slick with sweat and his hair was plastered to his face.

I slammed my forearms down on tops of his as hard as I could. Desperate to break his hold. He coughed roughly in my face and I squirmed to get away. My pulse was thundering in my ears as I fought to breathe. The edges of my vision were going dark.

Negan was there suddenly, knocking him off of me, but not before I got a good look at his face. I almost didn't recognize Scott with the blood dripping out of his eyes, ears and nose.

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So...what did you think? I promise not to make you wait so long for the next update! I missed you guys!