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Jo

I quickly pulled on the clothes Regina brought me. Water still beaded my skin from the shower, but I was anxious to get dressed and out of this bathroom. I was hoping the fresh clothes would make me feel a little more secure and in control again. The graze on my arm throbbed and I was thankful Regina had sent a short sleeve black t-shirt with the leather pants. I didn't think she had picked out that many pairs for me. I had to be running low soon. To be honest, I just wanted some comfy jeans and a cozy oversized hoodie. I wanted something comfortable.

Instead I once again stepped out of the bathroom wearing a skin tight shirt and leather pants. I no doubt looked badass, but I certainly didn't feel it. I pulled open the door and was shrugging on my shoulder rig as I stepped out and froze.

Negan was standing at the dresser on the other side of the room. His back was to me, naked from waist up. I stared at the smooth planes of muscles as they moved when he tossed his blood stained shirt into the corner. His pants hung low on his slim hips as he bent down to pull a shirt out from the bottom drawer. Even from this distance I could see that he had tattoos on his biceps and his chest, but I couldn't make them out.

"Enjoying the show Hot Friend?" he teased.

I jolted, and swung away from him, my cheeks burning. I turned my attention to the food that was laid out on the coffee table. It was sandwiches and a few fresh veggies. Nothing that took as much concentration as I was giving them. Negan turned to face me, but I was staring intently at the food, refusing to meet his eyes. I didn't trust what he would see there. He let out a suggestive chuckle as he crossed the room, his eyes glittering as he held his shirt in his hands. I snatched up a sandwich and dropped myself down onto the couch, steadfastly ignoring him.

I wasn't going to look. He had been nothing but respectful and business like when I was in nothing but I towel. I could return the favor and not stare just because he was shirtless.

After a few seconds he made a noise of disappointment and pulled his shirt over his head. My eye flickered up in time to see the pull of his abs and the deep V of muscle just above his belt. He snickered again and I bit into my sandwich. As soon as the food hit my stomach I resisted the urge to moan. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. My stomach contracted painfully, but it tasted so good I didn't care.

Negan snorted and walked over to a small table against the far wall I hadn't noticed. He poured amber liquid out of a decanter into two low ball glasses. He walked back over and held one out to me. I stared at it for a minute, it reminded me so much of that first night I met him. But that night it had been me pouring him and The Governor drinks.

That night he had both scared and fascinated me. It was the first night I had ever met someone who was a bigger, badder predator than me. He was the first person who had looked into my eyes, saw every that The Governor had made me and hadn't looked away. He had been angry that night, and I remembered not understanding why. Now, knowing what I did about Negan, I was pretty sure it was because of what The Governor had done to me. He had shown me that night everything I needed to know about him. That he was both a ruthless alpha but also a protector.

I took the glass from him, but didn't have the courage to meet his gaze. There was too much happening, too many emotions and thoughts I couldn't control or sort out. I was wary of what exactly it was he wanted to talk about. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be an easy conversation nor one I would enjoy. The only question was, how much truth was I willing to give him?

Negan dropped down into the chair across from me and leaned back, lounging as though absolutely nothing had happened today. He was very good. He could almost lie with his body language. His long limbs were stretched and relaxed, but there was still a hint of tension in his jaw. Though I wasn't sure I would have noticed if I didn't know him so well. I let my eyes flicker up to his and he was studying my face.

He ran his tongue thoughtfully over his teeth and cocked his head to the side, cracking his neck. "What exactly is it you see?" he asked curiously, taking a swig from his glass.

I frowned, not understanding the question. I felt like I had somehow missed something, like I had come in in the middle of a conversation.

He noticed my confusion immediately. "When you look at me like that," he clarified, motioning towards me with his glass. "It's different then how you normally look. It's more...assessing. You see more than anyone I've ever met."

I took another bite of my sandwich to buy myself some time to think. I wasn't sure if it was a great idea to be honest with him about the way my brain worked. There was still a small piece of me that was just waiting for him to realize what I was and throw me out. One day he would realize the threat I posed was greater than what I could give him and I would be alone again.

Negan studied my face carefully. "It's not how you were looking just a second ago, but I don't see what changed."

I swallowed thickly. "How was I looking a second ago?" I asked, jumping on the chance to turn his question back around on him so I wouldn't have to answer.

He snorted and a slow suggestive smirk tugged at one corner of his lips. His eyes gleamed and I felt a blush work it's way up my neck. I wasn't going to like this answer. Suddenly, turning the conversation back around to him seemed like a bad idea. He leaned forward and took a sip out of his glass. He moved the liquid through his mouth and I caught myself staring as he swallowed following the movement of his mouth and throat.

"Like you were thinking of helping me take the rest of my clothes off," he said smiling.

It wasn't as crass as I expected, but that still didn't stop the flush of heat from creeping up my neck. I didn't want to do this with him right now. I didn't have it in me to play the game. I didn't understand what made him think we needed to right now. There were more important things happening than his amusement and need to assert that every female in his presence wanted him. He had four perfect specimens just waiting for him in the next room.

I forced out a snort and ate my last bite of food so I wouldn't have to say anything more. I didn't want him to know how much it hurt.

He smirked again and leaned back. The motion pulled his t-shirt tight across his chest and I couldn't help feeling like he was doing it on purpose. Putting on a show to see if he could get a reaction from me. Didn't he realize how tired I was, how raw? Why did he insist on playing games with me?

"But that wasn't what that last look was," he continued. "So...what do you see when you look at people like that?" he asked, his voice was clipped and business like now, demanding an answer. He swirled the amber liquid around in his glass but his eyes were like granite as they held mine.

I looked down at my own glass and cupped it in both hands as though it were a warm mug. In fact, I would have preferred a mug of tea or coffee to the alcohol. The last thing I needed was to lower my inhibitions around him. I took a sip and when I lifted my gaze to meet his once more, my eyes were serious and maybe a little sad. "A threat." I told him simply.

He scowled. "You think I'm a threat to you?" he asked and I could tell by his tone he took offense.

I shook my head and looked back down at my glass. He was a threat of course, and he had to know that. Just like I was a threat to everyone I met. I was surprised to realize I was angry at him for asking me this question. But I was also a little angry with myself. I shouldn't have told him the truth. Now I was going to have to explain. If I would have just lied we could move on and get down to business instead of talking about my feelings.

"No," I promised him, lifting my eyes for just a brief second so he could see my sincerity. "But just because the threat isn't real doesn't mean my brain doesn't see one." I spoke the last few words into my glass and took another drink. It burned going down and I instantly felt the false heat spreading through my body. The alcohol had been a good idea after all. I had felt cold for so long.

Negan nodded thoughtfully but his eyes were sad. He licked his lips and swallowed before he spoke again. If I didn't know better it was almost like he had to work himself up to whatever he was going to say next. It wasn't going to be good whatever it was. "Who is he?" he asked, his voice low and gentle.

I felt my eyes widen and my hand tightened involuntarily around the glass. It felt like it would shatter beneath my fingers. I reached forward to set it down on the table between us but when I looked down my hand was shaking so badly I didn't think I would be able to get it onto the table.

Negan noticed. He reached forward to help me, but all my brain saw was motion. I flinched back dropping the glass. It hit the floor but somehow didn't break and rolled away under the couch.

"Shit," I muttered and I dropped down onto my knees to pick it up.

Negan was there in a second, a towel in his hand. He knelt in front of me in the small space between the couch and the table. He dropped the towel haphazardly onto the liquid and pulled me back up to the couch. His hands felt like brands against my bare forearms and I wanted to pull away from him. I didn't want to be touched right now, I couldn't be touched. He didn't let go however, as usual he simply refused to accept my reaction. He sat beside me and held onto me gently. He caught my gaze and forced me to look into his coffee brown eyes.

"Jo," he said calmly. "I won't hurt you. You are safe with me," he promised and his thumbs moved over my skin soothingly. "But I need you to tell me," he said slowly as though he understood I might be having trouble understanding him.

I swallowed and pinched my eyes closed. I let out a shuddering breath and when I opened my eyes again Negan was so incredibly close. He frowned at whatever he saw in my eyes and he reached up and gently brushed a piece of hair away from my face. I shuddered beneath the gentle glide of his finger tips.

His eyes said so much. I just didn't know if I could trust it. I wanted to. Every part of me wanted to just give in and trust him and wrap myself up in him where I knew, knew I would be safe and warm. But I had already made that mistake before.

Four wives.

I let out a shuddering sigh and sagged forward, hanging my head. If he chose to let go of me now I would fall. "He was my guard," I told Negan. "When I was in the cell. He and-" I barely caught myself in time and I drew in another breath.

It was hard enough to talk about this stuff, but trying to keep all the stories straight when it came to Merle was going to be even more difficult. "He and Phillip," I clarified. Hoping Negan assumed I had stumbled over whether to use his name or his title. "Were close...Martinez was his second in command. You probably met him on your first visit. Martinez did all sorts of things for him. All his dirty work. But he was also primarily responsible for me. There were months that he was the only person I saw other than when I was in the ring."

Negan nodded slowly but looked thoughtful. "And the chick?" he asked.

Shame burned through me. I hadn't remembered her, not even when I had come face to face with her. It spoke to how far gone I had been when I was in the cage. "She was The Governor's girlfriend," I said, repeating what he already knew. "I remember the first time I saw her. She used to attend all the fights on his arm, and then one day she walked into my ring. By that time I was pretty far gone-"

I stopped and glanced up at him, there was no judgement in his eyes however, no pity. "You saw how I was," I said self-consciously. I cleared my throat knowing I needed to keep going or I wasn't going to be able to finish. "So he had to be really careful about who he put up against me. But in she stepped. She was preening and smiling and blowing kisses to him...She belonged to him. She was his new toy...and that day I decided to break his toy."

Negan nodded but didn't look judgmental. I suppose I hadn't expected him to be. He was far too pragmatic, but maybe I felt like I should be ashamed. Like someone should be shocked and ashamed of what I had done. Kate would be, but I had never discussed what had happened to me with her. Maybe this was why.

"Where is she?" I asked. Not that I cared, but I was hoping she was locked up so I wouldn't have to worry about watching my back.

"She's dead," Negan responded smoothly and without hesitation.

I glanced towards him in surprise. "Didn't you want to question her?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I didn't really have a choice. You were in danger. It was either keep her alive or risk you. It was an easy call."

That heat returned, crawling it's way up my neck and I looked away. Sometimes he said things so openly and so honestly I didn't know what to say in response. This world had taught me to close myself off, to protect myself and my emotions, but Negan was fearlessly unrelenting in his honesty and pursuit of what he wanted.

"What about you," he said suddenly, as though he were thinking back on all that had happened. "Why did you stop?" He asked. "You almost had him."

I was almost too embarrassed to say. But I had already said so much tonight, what was one more revelation in the face of the honesty he had shown me.

I let out tight breath and looked him dead in the eye. "You," I said simply.

He frowned and a small flicker of what may have been surprise flickered in his eyes.

"I heard a gunshot from inside and I was worried about you."

Negan smiled at me but it seemed a little sad. "You don't have to worry your pretty little head about me sweetheart. I'm pretty damn good at surviving."

I lifted a brow. "Me too."

"Touché." Negan looked down at where his hands were still holding me. "After, when we were out there you said it wasn't done. What did that mean?"

I felt hollowed out. There were no more truths to be had. He had heard it all. "When I was in the ring once I killed all the biters I could go back to my cell...but not before they were all dead. Not before the show was over and he said it was done." I bit the inside of my cheek desperately trying to hold back the swell of emotions that was threatening to overwhelm me. "Seeing Martinez...it made it difficult to remember where I was," I said quietly as shame burned through me.

Negan made a noise that may have been close to a growl but I couldn't be sure. His hands were still gentle where they held my arms. He waited a few moments, maybe giving me time to compose myself before he pushed on. "So why do you think this guy has such a hard on for you in particular?" he asked.

I frowned and shook my head. The question surprisingly helped me compose myself. "What makes you think he does? He's clearly trying to overthrow you."

Negan made a sound of disbelief in the back of his throat. "Sure, but he's choosing to do that in ways that endanger and surround you."

"I scared him," I said in a low voice but it didn't feel exactly like the right answer. I needed to talk to Merle.

Negan looked back up at me in confusion.

"When I was in the ring," I explained. "I went out of my way to scare him. Looking back on it, it was so stupid, but he was already an enemy so..."

"So you thought you'd antagonize the one person responsible for your food?" Negan asked sardonically. "No wonder you're so damn skinny."

"Of course not," I replied and scowled at him. I wasn't completely stupid. "He wasn't in charge of my food at the time. Mer-" I started to say and I bit my tongue so hard I tasted blood.

Negan was staring me dead in the eyes. "Merle was," he finished for me and there was a finality to his words. Like someone had slammed a door closed.

And there it was. He knew. I tightened and tried to pull away but his hands closed around mine, refusing to let me go.

"I'm not an idiot Jo," he continued in a carefully neutral voice.

My eyes flew to the door. I needed to get out of here. I suddenly couldn't breathe, my chest was rising and falling as I fought to keep a clear head. I needed an exit strategy. I was pretty sure I could find Merle, but I wouldn't be able to find him and Kate both before Negan did. All it would take was one word from him and his men would overwhelm us. We were trapped.

I was trapped.

"Now knock that off!" he snarled and he gave me a rough shake.

My eyes flew back to him.

"There's that look again," he said and he shook his head. "Assessing the threats," he exhaled, and when he continued his voice was tight with barely contained emotions. "I already told you. You. Are. Safe." He dropped my arms and pulled back, running an exasperated hand through his hair. "Goddamnit! I don't know how many other ways I can say it Jo. Shit!" he snarled shaking his head. "I'm not an idiot. Merle isn't related to you and Kate. You both scream middle class education and Dixon is redneck through and through. Hell, your accents don't even match. And yeah, it's possible you lived on other sides of the state, but the only thing you all have in common is that scowl of your's," Negan shook his head and he suddenly looked tired. "I just didn't know the full extent of his involvement and how much I have to worry about that asshole."

I swallowed and glanced up at him through my eyelashes, still not trusting him. Not trusting him not to give the order and tear my whole world apart. Merle was my family and I owed him. Regardless of how I felt about Negan, I would protect Merle. I owed that loyalty to Merle not only for what he had done for me, but also for what he had done for Kate.

My mind was still racing. I felt like I had only seconds to convince him. Only seconds to keep him from killing Merle. "Do you trust me?" I asked and my voice was rough with emotion.

Negan stared down at me for a long time. "Yes," he finally responded. "And I'd appreciate it if you would return the favor."

I nodded as though I had expected that answer, as though I had never doubted his answer. "Merle does not pose a threat to you and is not involved," I spoke the words slowly and with every piece of resolve that was burning through me.

Negan opened his mouth to argue but I held up my hand imperiously. "If you have ever trusted me about anything. Trust me about this."

Negan stared at me for a long time as he thought over my words. "He's dangerous," he finally said.

I barked out a nervous laugh of disbelief. "Of course he is! So are you and so am I!"

Negan shook his head. "It's not the same thing," he started to argue. "What could possibly make you so sure he isn't helping Martinez?"

I pressed my lips together and a soul deep swell of exhaustion shook me to my core as I realized I was going to have to tell him everything. I leaned forward and pressed my fists against my forehead. "I'll need another drink." I finally said looking up at him.

Negan frowned but complied.

I asked my question when he was standing up with his back to me as a courtesy. I knew what the question would mean, and I wanted him to have a moment to compose himself and decide what exactly he was going to do with it.

"What is the worst thing you've done in this world?" I asked.

Negan froze, his hands holding the glasses out in front of him. He turned slowly and met my eyes.

Negan looked at me, and there was something incredibly broken in his eyes. I didn't expect him to answer but he walked back around the couch and sat beside me. He held out one of the glasses to me and slugged back the contents of his own.

And he trusted me.

"My wife, Lucille," he said and his voice broke over the name he had given his bat. "She was my first- my only- my real wife. She turned...and I ah-I couldn't..." he swallowed and looked down into his empty glass, unable to say the words. Shame burned in his eyes as he met my gaze to say the words that haunted him. "She could still be out there right now because I wasn't strong enough to do what needed to be done."

I stared at Negan. Sometimes I thought I would never understand this man. Sometimes I thought he was so far gone nothing would be able to reach him, but then there were times like this. Times when I could see his pain and his fierce desire to protect, when I thought that maybe I understood him and sympathized with what he had done to survive and ensure others around him survived.

I reached out and hesitated for only a second when my fingers were a hairsbreadth from his face. He sat, watching me, waiting for me to make the decision to touch him. I glided my fingers along the edge of his jaw, letting the stubble scratch my palm. "I'm sorry you lost her," I said sincerely. I wanted so badly to touch more of him, but despite this moment of vulnerability he was still Negan.

I sat back and licked my lips. There was a point I had been trying to make and I needed to stay focused or we would be here all night."I ah...I lost my family. Everyone of them but Kate and I and my brother in law. And he was hurt...bad. And we were alone, and I was afraid." I told him honestly. And I could see a brief flash of anger in his eyes on my behalf. "I protected us as best I could with this stupid golf club I carried." I chucked, shaking my head at the memory but tears were burning the backs of my eyes and I didn't know how long I could hold them back. "A group found us. A safe group. They were strong and we were safe...but I...left. I was too afraid to trust, to let myself be open with someone in that way. It was headed there and I might have had feelings for him, but- I couldn't do it. I couldn't allow myself to be vulnerable or trust...and so I left...and I dragged Katie with me," I confessed. "I dragged her out onto the road alone and we nearly starved to death."

Negan watched me with careful understanding in his eyes.

"I nearly killed my sister because I was afraid." I confessed.

"So this guy-" Negan started to say. "Was Dixon?" He asked in disbelief.

"What? No! Ew!" I exclaimed without thinking. The idea that it was Merle was shocking enough to burn away the emotions I was struggling to contain.

Negan looked placated.

"Well-" I started to say and he tensed. "Actually his name was Dixon. It was Merle's younger brother. He protected Kate and I and helped us. We fought side by side and trusted each other...trust is a hard thing to come by in this world," I said staring down at the liquid in my glass.

Something dangerous glimmered in Negan's eyes. "It is," he agreed.

"But I left," I repeated. "We nearly died before we were found by another group."

"The Governor," Negan supplied, making it so I didn't have to say his name.

I nodded. "We were safe there for a couple weeks, but he...He ah- after he tried- tried to-" I looked down and was surprised to see my hands were shaking. I hadn't thought I could still be effected in this way. I had lived through it, I could say it.

Negan went very still beside me.

"He threw me in that cell," I quickly said, not wanting to dwell on it.

"Did he ever-?" Negan started to ask and the dangerous growl in his voice was entirely on my behalf.

I shook my head, staring down at my hands. "I-he ah-he tried...but I...I made sure...he was too afraid to come near me."

Negan looped an arm around me. He pulled me to him and I could feel a faint tremble to his muscles, but it may have been me. He brushed his lips across my forehead. "Good girl," he whispered into my hair.

He let me go and I quickly continued speaking. I had to get through this. There were too many things, too many places for me to get caught up in the horror of my past. But Negan was sitting close enough now I could feel his heat and it helped.

"When he tossed me in his cell my guard was Merle. I didn't make the connection until I heard them call him Dixon. I don't really know how it happened, but he found out Daryl and I had fought together and been friends. Merle sort of befriended me. There wasn't much he could do but...he looked out for Kate while I was locked up. And he..." I exhaled and shook my head as tears burned the backs of my eyes.

"He kept me sane Negan," I told him honestly and I took a sip from my glass. "He would come down at night and talked to me after the fights...sometimes I was so far gone I couldn't say anything back. There would be weeks I didn't say anything and still he came and chatted away like we were old friends."  I tossed my drink back again. "He was The Governor's right hand man and then things started to fall apart he sacrificed his place there to get Kate out."

"He left you there," Negan's voice was tight with barely contained rage, making it clear he considered Merle's actions unacceptable.

"He did what I asked," I said firmly. "I fought with Daryl. I saved his brother so he saved my sister. He got Kate out that's all that mattered. He relayed whatever debt he thought he owed me...and then he went above and beyond when he sent you back to get me out..." I could feel the tear threatening to fall but I couldn't let them. Not yet. I needed to be strong so he would believe my next words. "If you tell me you don't want him here anymore, that's fine," I said. "We'll leave."

"We'll leave?" Negan clarified. "You would give up your sister's safety for that douche bag?" Negan challenged.

I lifted my chin defiantly. "Merle and I can keep her safe. And I owe Merle everything."

Negan stared me down.

"So," he said. "Martinez-" Negan started to say.

I shook my head. "Not until I get your word that Merle is safe."

Negan exhaled and shook his head. "I do not see how-"

I pushed myself to my feet. "If you don't give me your word I am walking out of that door right now."

Negan cracked his neck and lifted himself to his full height so he was staring down at me from inches away. "Don't you ever give me an ultimatum like that," he drawled dangerously. "I care about very few people and I won't let you use that against me."

I lifted my chin and stared into his eyes. "Don't ever threaten my family," I growled at him. "I won't let you."

Negan leaned towards me so his lips were only inches from mine. "Careful," he drawled and every ounce of his alpha personality was shining out his eyes. "You don't let me do anything."

I leaned into him, letting him see in my eyes all that I was willing to do to protect my family. "Try me."

A slow smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He leaned in and I thought for one second he was going to kiss me and I would have welcomed it.

Instead, his lips brushed against the shell of my ear. "There's my girl," he whispered.

I shivered and looked away.

He chuckled but it was clearly him, sliding that mask back into place. I hated him a little bit for his ability to separate himself from his emotions while I was drowning in mine.

When I didn't respond he made a noise in the back of his throat and dropped down onto the couch, causally resting his arms across the top. "I swear to you, as long as he doesn't risk anyone else's safety he can stay."

I exhaled and dropped onto the couch, leaning forward, and hanging my head as relief flooded my body.

My mind was racing but I believed Negan wouldn't hurt Merle when he gave his word. I thought back to Martinez, to that crazed look on his face before he disappeared into the woods. "Do you have Merle tracking?" I asked.

Negan nodded. "He'll be running out of daylight soon but if they find anything before nightfall they'll let us know."

I stopped and looked back at him. "He left me to die in the moat," I told Negan. "Martinez," I clarified.

Negan's jaw tightened and he nodded slowly.

"He said he would see me in hell unless my boyfriend made it in time," I told him.

Negan frowned, and then he closed his eyes and exhaled as understanding washed over his features. "He's pissed I killed his boss and tore his sandcastle down and he's using you to get to me," Negan growled.

"I'm not-" I started to say and I shook my head.

Negan cocked his head to the side and stared at me. "Yes, you are," he promised me and his eyes were incredibly serious.

I froze, I didn't know what to say, didn't know how to react. He reached for me and I wanted to pull away. Pulling away from him was the safest thing to do, but I couldn't. He cupped my face in his large hands and he leaned in and his breath fanned my face. He was so close. I let out a shuddering breath. I fought to tear my gaze from his. His eyes flicked to my lips and I reached out, resting my hand against his chest. I didn't know if I wanted to pull him closer or push him away.

"Jo, you absolutely are that important to me," his voice was hoarse and thick with emotion. His eyes were open and sincere yet unrelenting as he refused to let me look away and hide from his emotions. Why did he have to push like this? Every part of me wanted to run and hide, to wrap myself in my anger but he wouldn't let me.

"Negan I can't I-" Tears burned the backs of my eyes, and with the help of the liquor it was impossible for me to hold them back. I choked over a sob and hung my head, pinching my eyes shut. I held my breath, trying to force the sobs into submission.

Negan made a sound in the back of his throat and moved towards me, sliding closer. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into the warmth of his chest. What little control I had before evaporated as soon as he touched me. He felt so warm and safe and right now, in this moment it was just him and I. I let myself lean into him and I sobbed into his shirt. His hands held me against his chest and one moved up and down my back in long soothing lines.

"Shh," he whispered into my hair. "It's okay sweetheart," he said, his lips brushing against my hair.

"I-" I started to say, but I couldn't speak past my sobs and I simply tightened my grip on him and hoped that he understood.

I don't know how long he held me while I cried. But when I was done I curled up against his chest and went to sleep, listening to the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat.

When I woke it was the middle of the night. I was in complete darkness and had a moment of fear before a soothing hand ran across my low back.

"Go back to sleep sweetheart," his voice was deep and grumbly with sleep.

At some point he had shifted so he was laying down across the couch. I was laying half across his chest, our limbs in a tangled mess. Heat flushed my face and I tried to shift away from him. His arm tightened around me and he buried his face in my hair.

Before I could convince myself to pull away his other hand sank into my hair at the base of my skull, gently cradling me against him. I gave in. I was so warm and he felt so safe. My eyes drifted shut and I went back to sleep.

When I woke next it was to a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," Negan's voice rumbled beneath my ear.

I leaned up to see Simon step in. He didn't look at all surprised to see me. He had a wrapped bundle in one hand and he set it on the table near the door.

"Those are your's," he said. "Workers pulled them out of the moat. They're clean," he reported keeping his eyes entirely averted from the couch.

"Thank you," I said and a blush crept up my neck as I realized how compromising this must look from his perspective.

Beneath me Negan chuckled. I looked down at him scowling. For his part he looked entirely pleased with himself and quite content to lay beneath me.

I moved to get up, but he was faster. He leaned up from his abs and caught the back of my neck with one hand. He pulled me back down towards him and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, once again his lips found my ear.

"I love when you blush like that," he growled, his breath hot against my neck. I shivered in his hands and he pressed a gentle kiss against the sensitive skin just behind my ear.

When he let me go I didn't pull away. Instead, I rocked back, letting him sit up. He turned and met Simon's gaze.

"So?" He asked, yawning and stretching his arms above his head.

"Dixon headed back out at dawn. He thinks he's closing in. Requested a team," Simon reported.

Negan nodded. "Make it happen. I'll be ready in half an hour."

"I'm coming to," I said climbing to my feet.

Negan shot me a look but I chose to ignore it. I moved over to the table and started strapping my knives back in place.

"See you at the gate boss," Simon said and he pulled the door closed behind him.

"Jo-" Negan started to say.

"I'm going." I said firmly.

"You're hurt."

"I assure you, I've had worse," I snapped back. It was the wrong thing to say. Negan was already feeling protective and reminding him of my past just hardened his resolve for me to stay behind.

"You were shot, you-"

The door behind Negan clicked open and a gorgeous woman in a tight black dress bumped it open with her hip. She was holding two mugs of steaming coffee.

"I thought i heard voices," she said with a smile. "Figured you two were awake." She set a mug down on the table beside Negan and turned to bring the other one to me.

I had gone ramrod stiff.

"Did you sleep well?" She asked. She was smiling and didn't seem at all concerned with finding another woman in Negan's room.

Four wives

Negan hadn't moved. Hadn't even looked at her. His eyes were locked on me. "Jo-" he started to say but I was already out the door.

"GODDAMNIT!" was all I heard as I fled down the hall away from him.

<><><><><>

Well that got a little more intense than I planned...