Lily didn't know what was happening, but it seemed like her friend group with her sister, Cole, Peter, Keith, and Esperanza had fallen apart. She and Esperanzas relationship was long gone, but at least she had the others. Esperanza just didn't show up for school anymore.

Now, Yehl seemed distant, and Keith avoided everyone all together. In fact..

Lily had seen him around, talking to his old friends. His bully friends. Why did he switch up on them like that? On Yehl?

Speaking of Yehl, she was a mess. Lily was, too, after the encounter with Esperanza that left her in tears and confusion. She truly thought she'd done every thing she could for Esperanza, yet she pushed her away. Like bad milk. Nothing more than a object to keep refrigerated.

It left her bed-ridden for days. Eventually, though, she had to go back to school. Finals were coming up, and she didn't want to ruin her last year of high school for some girl.

So she pushed the feelings aside, just as Esperanza had done to her.

But a deep part of her still yearned for her, for her touch. She loves Esperanza.

"Lily," Yehl said suddenly, cutting Lily out of her trance.

"Yeah?" She looked over, staring into the eyes of her sister, her sister that was once a happy and vibrant girl, now reduced to a sobbing, sniffling mess. The next time she saw Keith- she doesnt know what she'll do.

She was seated on her bed, Yehl on her side with a empty box of napkins next to her. "Refill," She said simply. Lily got the memo and quickly picked up the box, throwing it into the trash positioned next to the bed, already over filling with napkins. After stepping out of the room for a while, she returned with another box.

"This is the last box," She sighed. "I can go buy some more, if you let me use your car."

Yehl shook her head, taking the box weakly and blowing her nose into one of the napkins. Tossing it onto the trash, or rather, the floor.

"I don't want to be anymore of a burden. I hate this! Im not even myself anymore- like a shell of myself. I'm pathetic." Yehl suddenly blabbered out, breaking into tears again.

Lily wanted to help desperately, but it was hard to comfort when you are also in need of that comfort. It hurt seeing her older sister like this.

"We should go out, to the mall or something! Wouldn't that be nice? A break from everything," Lily said softly.

Yehl sighed, and rolled over to face the wall.

"I'm a mess! I can't go out like this!"

Lily smiled and rolled her eyes reaching for her purse and standing up. "Your soo dramatic. But fine, I'll just go have fun without you! Good luck with dad and his gardenn," She called out sarcastically as she softly shut Yehls door behind her.

Although she was already halfway through the hallway, she could hear Yehls groan into her pillow from a mile away.

--

Lily browsed the isles mindlessly. She stumbled across a small store in the back of the mall, full of stuff you'd need for a garden. Unlike her sister, she loved gardening. It was like therapy for her.

But, Esperanza liked gardening too. She suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, a pang of hurt hitting her heart like a hammer. Everything reminded her of Esperanza. She couldn't even enjoy her comfort thing any more.

Just as she was about to step out of the shop, go to some designer store or something, she saw something out of the corner of her eye.

A girl. With white hair. In two braids. That had to be her.

Without thinking, Lily immediately walked over to her and blocked her way, looking at her like she was a lost artifact.

It was her.

Esperanza gasped. "Lily-! I- uhm.. I.." Her voice faultered as she slowly looked away. She wanted to run away, to get out of the store as fast as she could. But something in her made her feet stay completely still. Like glue.

"Espi, I am so sorry." Lily suddenly said, loudly. She didn't mean to use her nickname, she knew it was reserved- shit, she messed up again.

Esperanzas face softened as she examined Lily's. She clearly didn't mean any ill intent, yet, she felt herself cringe at that nickname.

Only Lana had called her that.

"I.. I should go." She said softly, barely above a whisper. "My.. My parents, you know. Have a good life," She quickly turned around, rushing out of the store with her hands clenched to her sides. Lily couldnt stop herself from chasing after her.

"Esperanza, wait! Just one minute, please!" She pleaded.

Esperanza paused, drawing a sharp breath before slowly turning back. They were outside of the store now, though only a few steps backward and they probably would be back in. She really didn't want to cause a scene in front of everyone.

"Quiet down, please.. What is it?"

Lilys whole face lit up. She'd been waiting to talk to Esperanza for forever.

"Thank you! I just.. I-.. I'm so sorry, for the other week. I shouldn't have confessed like that, I just didn't know about you and Lana, and-"

Esperanzas face hardened at the mention of her name, desperate to not show any emotion to it. "It's okay. I overreacted. You.. You can't control your feelings." She said softly. "But I.. I just don't feel the same. I'm sorry."

Lily stayed quiet for a moment, her heart sinking. She already knew that fact. She wasn't over Lana. But it still hurt, hearing it out loud. Her heart ached and yearned for her.

"That's alright. I understand," She replied, trying to put on a relaxed and unbothered mask. "But your still my best friend. And I don't want to lose you."

Esperanza took another deep breath, looking down. "You and the others, were really my only friends. So I appreciate you for that." She paused for a moment. "I'm sorry I freaked out. It was the anniversary of.. Her death. I want to keep being friends, too, as long as it isn't awkward."

"If course it isn't! Im just glad to have you back! As.. A friend. Of course." Lily grinned, though what she was feeling inside made her stomach churn.

She wanted more than that. So bad that it hurt. But she wasn't going to let go of one of her closest friendships just because of some stupid feelings.

"You want to.. Hang out? Go shopping together?"

Esperanza nodded, smiling softly.

"That'd be great."

--

Surprisingly, Esperanza and Lily were getting along great, like nothing had happened between them. It was crazy how easy it was to talk to Lily, Esperanza always had trouble communicating, socializing. But with Lily it just came so.. Easy. She loved being around her. She always had this strange warm feeling in her when she saw her smile, or laugh, or-

She should stop now.

It was wrong to think like that. She couldn't just forget Lana like that.

Poor, sweet Lana.

She bit down the tears that threatened to spill, smiling at Lily's words she couldn't even decipher.

"So, I was just walking home, right? And this-"

Esperanza turned her focus on the products in front of her. They'd traveled to a clothing store.

She waited until Lily was done to speak.

"You know.. I haven't worn something actually pretty in.. Forever. I most just wear this sweater." She tugged on her gray hoodie softly, glancing around at the cute dresses. It had been forever since she'd felt feminine. Mostly, she spent her days locked in her room, not doing much to get ready.

Lily's eyes sparkled. "We should get 'makeovers' together! First, clothing. Which fits me?"

She held up a handful of dresses, dangling them over herself, still on the hook, and checking herself out in the mirror.

Esperanza smiled, pointing at a softer, lighter color. "I feel like lighter colors really suit you, Lily."

Lily stuck the other dresses back, examining herself. "Thank you! I feel like.. A deep, ruby red would look gorgeous on you. It suits your eyes," She explained, using her hand to push some of Esperanzas hair behind her ear. Staring into her red orbs.

She didn't even realize this, until Esperanza smiled awkwardly at her, taking a step back. "Oh, uhm, thanks! That's sweet of you."

The two looked around for a while, not really looking for anything in particular. Esperanza seemed to like darker greens and foresty, cute outfits. Lily loved soft, white almost, colors with blue, red or pink undertones with soft lace. If Esperanza had to explain it shed say.. Kind of, coquette. But not pink coquette with ribbons everywhere, the real authentic, past coquette. It matched her.

"We should share sometimes," Lily said randomly. "Cause these would look beautiful on you."

Esperanza smiled. "I agree, I like exploring a variety of styles, I guess. I just haven't.. In a while."

--

It was late now, but that didn't bother them one bit. They went to Esperanzas apartment, quickly getting ready in their new outfits.

When Esperanza stepped out, she felt a bit insecure.

She was, skinny. Dangerously skinny. She didn't starve her self- well, not intentionally. She just didn't have motivation for.. Anything, anymore.

"This would look better if I actually had boobs," She joked, looking in the mirror as she tried to tighten the shirt she'd bought to match her skirt. What boys didn't know, is that girls were way to comfortable with each other.

"Oh, come on! Your beautiful, and having boobs isnt all that." Lily insisted, smoothing out her skirt and making her do a cute little spin. "It's adorable! I told you darker colors really compliment your light complexion and hair,"

Esperanza couldn't help but blush. "Thanks, but- you can't be talking! You have plently. Why not share, hm?" She teased, poking at Lily playfully.

Lily blushed, laughing and swatting her hand away.

"Oh, come on! I just can't win with you. Just take the compliment," She replied with the same amount of playfullness.

Esperanza laughed, pushing Lily into the closet. "Just get your stuff on, too! We can't forget makeup."

"Fine, fine!" Lily called from the closets, her voice muffled.

Esperanza couldn't help but giggle at how immature they could be sometimes. I mean, here they were, playing dress up like kids again.

But.. It was nice. She hardly got to be a kid herself, her parents hardly taking care of her. She had to learn to grow up and take care of herself pretty quick.

"Okay, how does this look?"

She stepped out, her hands on her waist.

It was super cute.

"It matches you wonderfully," Esperanza gasped, before suddenly looking down. "And it makes them look good too," She teased.

Lilys eyes widened. "Espi!"

Typically, Esperanza would've said something at the nickname. But she couldn't care less now. This was the most fun she'd had in months.

--

"Espi, are you done yet? You've been doing my eyeshadow for like.. A hour."

"Just hold on! It has to look perfect."

Esperanzas makeup was already done, not perfectly, Lily didn't do her makeup much, but it was perfect in her eyes. It made her feel, a little more confident in herself for once. But that's how she always felt with Lily.

Espi hadn't touched makeup in years, but she was determined.

"One more thing.. And, there! All finished." Esperanza began to say, before her eyes widened and she burst into laughter.

"H-holy shit! You look like a clown!"

Lily quickly picked up a mirror, gasping before collapsing on her back from laughter.

"Ha- Espi! No Offense, but, your horrible! I do look like a clown!"

"None taken," Esperanza replied through laughs. Her stomach was definitely gonna hurt after this.

After their laughter died down, Lily sighed and smiled softly at Esperanza. "I'm glad we can be like this again. I missed you."

Espis face softened. "Yeah. Me too."

She wanted to say something stupid, like "I love you," but.. No. That was s horrible thought. Lana..

She bit her tongue, trying to push that in the back of her mind. Focus on the present.

Lily relaxed on her bed, yawning and closing her eyes. She didn't ask for permission to sleep over, but Espi didn't say anything. Simply turned off the light and climbed up with her, curling up next to her. Finding comfort in her body heat.

--

Espi was a clingy sleeper. Despite herself, Lily couldn't help but lean into her embrace as she slept soundly, until she felt something in Espis pocket. It felt like.. Plant seed packets. Did.. Did she accidentally steal those? And they were still in their makeup and outfits? Jeez. She was gonna break out, definitely. But it was worth being with Espi.

--

Notes!

WOOO!! Finally wrote about them again! I've missed them, and I hope u guys have been enjoying all these new chapters! We needed some sweetness after all the angst, although this problem is definitely not solved.. Denial.. Buttt, let me know if you want to see anything specific, or characters you like seeing most! Ill definitely take those into consideration.<3