chapter twelve: sophia
3296 words

"Guys, the barn is full of walkers." Lin choked on the piece of egg she'd been chewing. Not for lack of already knowing, she'd walked close enough when Daryl had knocked out to hear the groans, but for the fact that Glenn had stood up in the middle of breakfast and just told everyone like it was nothing. Shit, she thought. Shit shit shit.

She knew Glenn wanted to tell everyone, that the secret was wearing him away from the inside out. But like this? Without a rational plan? It was a recipe for disaster, for group-wide panic.

Shane was the first one up, tearing across the field to the barn, stopping in front of it. Daryl's head turned to Lin as he stood. She almost stopped him, his stitches nowhere near being close enough to fully healed. But he followed the rest of the group to the barn, their fear visible in the way they peeked through the boards and flinched away whenever a walker got too close.

Lin had been right. Shane was mad, furious at the threat sitting right under their noses. He rubbed his hand against the back of his head, against the stubble of his closely cropped hair.

"You cannot tell me you're alright with this." He stalked over to Rick, shoulder checking him as he passed, you know, like a 12 year old.

"No, I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land," Rick answered, jaw set firm in his beliefs.

"God, this is our lives!" Shane yelled.

"Lower your voice," Glenn warned. Lin eyed the barn. It looked secure, rigged up to hold walker inside with no chance of them getting out. How long had they been here, sleeping so close to them? It made her stomach churn, thinking of Carl in his tent with these things roaming the enclosed space.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug," Andrea tried to reason. Lin had noticed, in the very little time between now and when she'd gotten back from her advanced lesson, that Andrea seemed to hang off of Shane's arm, worshipping each word that dripped from his flapping lips.

"It ain't right. Not remotely."

Lin shook her head, sharing a worried look with the hunter beside her.

"Okay, we've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or we've just got to go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time." If Lin heard that place leave Shane's mouth one more time she was going to shove one of Daryl's hunting bolts into her ears.

"We can't go," Rick told him yet again. He was more a broken record now than a man.

"Why, Rick? Why?"

"Because Sophia is still out there," Lin spoke up.

"Okay," Shane sighed, rubbing his hands down his face. "Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility." Straight fire ran through Lin's veins. Pure, unyielding, white hot rage.

"We're not leaving Sophia behind," Rick backed her up, Daryl stepping closer.

"I'm close to findin' this girl. I just found her damn doll two days ago." Shane did that laugh again and Lin's jaw ticked.

"You found her doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll."

From behind her Lin could feel the shift of Daryl's arm as he threw it up at Shane. "You don't know what the hell you're talkin' about!"

"I'm just saying what needs to be said!"

"No, you're just saying what you think is right," Lin shook her head, very aware that Daryl was right beside her and inches away from just jumping Shane and taking him down to his big ugly ears.

"Let me tell you something else, man. If she was alive out there and saw you coming all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction!"

Lin knew she wasn't the strongest in the camp but she knew that being as close to Daryl as she was, she had to help hold him back. He tried to dive around Rick to get to Shane and Lin honestly didn't believe him. Someone pushed Daryl away from Shane, whether it was T-Dog or Glenn she wasn't really sure, but she didn't care. She put her hand on his chest, right between his lungs and just kept him there, eyes trained on the live wire the rest of the guys were attempting to calm down.

She saw red again when Shane pointed a finger at Lori, spitting a few words at her. He could yell at her all he wanted, lay the worst he had right at her feet, but the moment he touched Lori, spoke to her in any way that wasn't respectful, his ass was hers to kick.

"What if it was Carl?" She couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth. Like word vomit they just tumbled out. But when she saw Shane flinch, oh she wished she had said them earlier. His face went slack after the initial shock. She almost thought he hadn't heard her. "Hm? What if it was Carl out there and we just left?"

If they thought his little jab at Daryl was bad then this was something else. "Let me tell you something little girl! Carl wouldn't be out there because he's smart enough to not run into the damn woods in the first place! Let me ask you what have you done to help out? Have you been out there every day looking? Did you risk your life getting a respirator for him? Have you done anything but sit on your ass, talk to your little redneck boy toy and let your old man pick up all the pieces? It's a wonder we didn't leave you behind at the quarry."

Not even Daryl could move fast enough to stop Lin's hand. Shane stalked closer and closer, practically in her face, close enough that when he hissed out his final insult, she could feel his breath on her face. And it was right where she wanted him. Her right hand wrapped tight around her knife hilt, pulling it the way Daryl had shown her, and pressing the tip right into Shane's adam's apple.

"Keep going, asshole. See where that gets you."

"You're just mad because you know I'm right," he sneered, lip curling at the edge. Beneath her other hand, which was still somehow holding Daryl back, she felt him try to move forward.

"I'm mad because you're so goddamn selfish that you'd put Sophia's life on the line because you want to play house." Daryl's hand came up to her wrist.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Shane spat as Rick gripped him by the shoulders to yank him away from his sister-in-law. Lori had never seen Shane like that; she'd never seen Lin like that. They were at each other's throats and she had to ask herself where this all went wrong. Shane huffed, his anger bleeding away as he scrubbed his hand on the back of his neck.

"Now just let me talk to Hershel," Rick tried to sooth the situation but it didn't appear to have much effect. "Let me figure it out."

"What are you gonna figure out?" Shane roared. Lori jumped between them, pushing Shane away from her husband even though she wanted nothing more than to just go to her sister, to get her hand off of Shane's chest. If he could just control his temper, then all of this could have been avoided.

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land."

Dale stepped into the fray and Lin, dropping the hand holding her blade, let him go.

"Hershel sees those things in there as people- sick people- his wife, his stepson."

"You knew?" Rick questioned with a note of disbelief in his voice.

"Yesterday I talked to Hershel."

"And you waited the night?" Shane was inconsolable at this point which had Lin moving closer, ready to do what she had to to keep her family safe. Rick brought his head back to her, nearly stopping her with a look she couldn't place at all.

"Did you know?" He only asked because he knew that she was with Dale nearly every night, trading stories on the roof of the rv. She just nodded. "And you didn't tell me?" Her brow arched.

"You really think last night was the best time for me to bring this up?" And without outright saying it, she had told him that she also knew Lori was pregnant, that she knew about their blow up on the edge of the farm. He shook his head. He should have known. Lori would have gone to her about it, not him. He didn't want to think that Lin was there when Lori threw back each of those blue pills, didn't want to think how Lin didn't stop her from doing it, even though it was not business to know that she hadn't been there for it, just the aftermath.

"I thought we could survive one more night," Dale defended his actions. "We did." Shane turned away from Dale, unable to even look at the older man. "I was waiting till this morning to say something. But Glenn wanted to be the one."

"The man is crazy, Rick, if Hershel thinks those things are alive or no!" Shane's yelling had finally done it. The barn doors rattled as he walkers chased the argument, attracted to the noise Shane had been making. Lori darted backward, her hand swiping blindly for Carl.

Lin pressed her lips tight together as they just waited for the doors to collapse. When they didn't and the walkers calmed down, Rick left for the house, to speak to Rick. Lori ushered her son into her side, putting as much space between him and the barn as she could. Andrea brought an arm around Carol's shoulders, pulling her back to the rv with Dale. T-Dog followed with Glenn not that far behind, the later of the two probably off to talk to Maggie, to apologize for breaking her trust and telling the entire group.

It left Lin, Daryl, and Shane. And the silence was deafening. Daryl tapped her arm, cursing under his breath as he left Shane were he stood. Lin pried her knife from her own fingers, putting it away so she wouldn't be tempted to use it on Shane. The man had gone insane, driven mad by how own selfish desire to just have Lori and Carl to himself. It was unbelievable and Lin just wanted to scream.

Daryl didn't stick with Lin, leaving her on her own in the middle of the field. He went off to the stable and for once she didn't have the energy to follow him. Carol did though but Lin didn't want to argue any more. She was done arguing for the day and it hadn't even hit high noon yet. She went for the rv, walking into Dale's open arms.

"Are you okay?"

"He's an asshole," she just mumbled into his floral shirt, inhaling sharply and pulling back. "I'll be fine."

Dale went into the rv and Andrea stepped out of it a few minutes later. It was Glenn's turn to ask Dale if he was okay when she did. Lin stepped into the rv to see what was up.

"You mind running and getting me some water? I just- I need a second."

"You'll keep watch?" Glenn looked down over the edge of the rv. Lin answered for Dale, wondering what exactly was going through his head as he stared down at the bag of guns on the table.

"Yeah, Glenn. We'll keep watch." She listened for the sounds of Glenn descending the rv ladder, then his retreating footsteps heading for the well. "Mind telling me what you're doing?" She pointed at the bag of guns he was zipping up.

"Lin, I need your help."

Lin took Dale as far out as she thought she could get without getting lost. It was swampy, full of pits just waiting to trap both people and walkers. No one would think to come here. Hell, Lin hadn't even thought of it at first until she remembered Daryl pointing off in the distance from the farmhouse, saying how he could smell the sulfur in the swamp water. She watched her steps, counting them as she went. She pointed to a big tree, one with big roots and a wide trunk.

If they were going to do this, hide the guns, they had to put them somewhere far and somewhere only they knew. Dale leaned the bag up against the tree and Lin handed him the hammer and the nails.

"Man, this is a good hiding place." Her heart sunk down into the mud beneath her boots. "We ain't been in the swamps much, huh?"

Lin kept her eyes on Shane and Dale behind her even though he was the one with the gun. "Imagine if you applied your tracking skills to finding Sophia."

Shane was getting close, too close for comfort.

"How about, you just give me that bag, huh?"

"I'm not gonna do that."

"Yeah you are, Dale."

Lin's hand was on her knife. Shane was scary, his position on the hill putting him above her. "What makes you think that?"

"Unless, well, you do have that rifle over your shoulder and Lin's got that knife on her hip."

Dale's voice was quiet, not portraying the fear he felt just being here, so far away from camp with Shane. It put him in danger. It put Lin in danger. "You gonna shoot me like you did Otis? Tell another story?"

Shane chuckled, not even bothering the correct him in any way and Lin realized that Dale's hunch was true. Shane had shot Otis and left him for Walker bait. Then he lied to everyone about it. "No, man. Hell, when you really look at it in the cold light of day, you both are pretty much dead already."

Lin put her teeth together, biting her tongue.

"Just give me the guns. Do it now." Her grip on her knife tightened impossibly. How it still had a hilt after all her heavy holding she wasn't sure.

"You think this is gonna keep us safe?"

Shane hummed. Lin blinked. "I know it is." He spoke to them like they were children, bewitchingly calm. Lin wanted to throw up.

"Rick is trying to get Hershel-"

"Dale, shut up. Just shut up and give me the guns." Lin pulled her blade.

"No," she bit through clenched teeth. Behind her Dale set the gun bag against the tree trunk, cocking and raising the rifle.

"Am I gonna have to shoot you? Do I have to kill you? Is that what it's gonna take?" Shane looked to the side, his jaw terrifyingly slack. He sighed something, taking a step down towards the pair. Dale fumbled with the rifle but Lin willed herself to just stay still, to hold her ground against him. She was armed; he wasn't. She had the advantage. Shane walked himself right down into the muzzle of Dale's rifle, putting it right on his sternum.

"Yeah," he breathed out. "That's what it's gonna take." Lin just wanted him to pull the trigger. She'd never ever wished harm upon a person until now. Until Shane had forced himself on her sister. Until Shane had been willing to let a little girl die out in the woods for his best friend's wife fantasy. Just pull the damn trigger, she wished she could have said. But Dale lowered the rifle.

"This is where you belong, Shane."

"How's that, Dale?"

"This world, what it is now, this is where you belong." And Dale was right. "And I may not have what it takes to last for long, but that's okay. Because at least I can say when the world goes to shit I didn't let it take me down with it." Against everything Dale had done before, he bent down, lifted the trash bag full of guns, and pushed it into Shane's waiting hands.

Shane took it, bringing it under his arm. "Fair enough." He watched the fear in both of Lin and Dale's eyes as he walked away. Lin exhaled, feeling he tears welling up in her eyes. He was too far gone now.

"We have to follow him. If he gets back before we do he's going to hand out those guns."

Lin began to backtrack, following her own footsteps in the mud. But they weren't moving fast enough. Shane must have run the entire way because when they reached the edge of the farm, they were already firing. Lin pushed herself to keep running to keep going. But it was too late. Shane handed out the guns and he opened the barn. And everything that happened after was entirely his fault. Nothing would ever, ever convince Lin otherwise.

A pile of bodies laid before the barn, a testament of the danger that lied in the camp. Hershel was down on his knees, his eldest daughter at his side. Lin rushed to her sister's, digging her jeans down into the dirt. When she was sure they were okay, perfectly unharmed, only then did she relax. Daryl turned around at the sound of her coming, her hasty steps to rejoin the group. She'd missed it all. She missed the carnage, the panic as Shane tried to give a gun to Carl, the confusion when Andrea had asked where she and Dale were. Lin and Dale went into the forest with a bag of guns, Shane followed and returned alone with that bag. It looked bad, really bad. For a moment of panic, before she had to stop Shane from handing her son a gun, she thought Shane had killed them.

Lin met his eyes and he saw the fear in hers as she held her sister and her nephew in her arms. His blood ran cold at the thought of Shane laying a hand on her. He'd barely kept his cool when Shane had been yelling at her.

They all thought it was over, that the worst had come and gone. They had never been more wrong. Another walker appeared between the barn doors. And every member of the group felt their heart sink, shattering into pieces that rained down like shotgun shells. Sophia, the beautiful bright little girl that they'd been searching for, had been right in front of them the whole time. She stumbled out of the barn, her head lolling to the side to reveal the nasty bite on her neck. It was old. No walkers had been brought into the farm since they'd been here, meaning that Sophia had been bit the same day she'd been lost. All their searching had been for nothing.

Lin's hand covered her parted lips, muffling the gasp that threatened to escape. Carol began to sob, calling her daughter's name and running for her. Lin's teary eyes widened. She would have jumped up herself but Daryl dropped his shotgun down to the ground, catching Carol before she could reach her daughter. She collapsed, taking Daryl down with her. Lin's heart broke with each cry of Sophia's name. Lori held Carl tighter, falling backward so she was sitting. Lin covered Carl's eyes, tears dripping from her own.

Rick took his revolver from its holster, walking to the front of the group, past Andrea, past Carol, past Shane. He raised it on Sophia. Lin shut her eyes. He pulled the trigger.

an: so i didn't write the whole big shoot out bc there's no way in hell that lin would have let dale go off alone, especially when shane blew up the way he did. i also felt like a lot of people have written that certain scene and im not the best at writing action so i decided to be different (rip to them but im different) i remember that after this episode i stopped watching the series and like instead just read the wikipedia summaries like a weirdo. and so as i got back into the series and picked up this idea (i had written snippets of a reomance between daryl and the character id then named linea bc i didn't like normal names for some reason) i have since had to continue watching season two all the way to the end and wow i missed a lot. but anyways

happy halloween to all of my lovely readers who celebrate it!! it's super rainy where i live and i wont be trick or treating anymore but i hope it's beautiful where you are and that you get lots of candy and watch your favorite scary movies!! :)