chapter thirteen: enough
3698 words

Lin wiped her tears with the back of one hand, the other still over Carl's eyes. Daryl kept telling Carol not to look but Carol shoved his hands off of her, running back to the rv. Lin didn't blame her. She really didn't. She saved all the blame for Shane. Asshole.

Lin stood carefully, leaving Lori's side. She walked to Daryl, setting a hand on his arm. "Are you okay?" She asked him. His eyes scanned her up and down, searching for a single scratch to pin on Shane, to give him a reason to just deck the man. He nodded and her hand shifted lower on his arm, closer to his stitches. He nodded again and she trusted him, not really thinking too much of the fact that she did.

Beth pulled herself from Jimmy's embrace, staggering around Lin and Rick to one of the walker bodies. It was a woman. From what Lin could see she must have been beautiful once. Beth dropped down at her mother's head, turning it to see her better. The walker had half a jaw still intact and jumped to life at Beth's touch. Its fingers knotted in Beth's hair yanking her to the walker's set of snapping teeth. Shane and Rick grabbed Beth to get her back to safety. Glenn grabbed its arms and Lin plunged her knife through the walker's skull, rendering it immobile once more.

Beth ran to her father. Hershel held his daughter to his chest, the man still visibly in shock. And it got even worse because as Hershel guided what was left of his family back to his house, Shane continued to berate him, accusing him of knowing about Sophia and keeping it from the group. Lin shook her head. Lori took her hand, holding tight onto it, grounding herself in her sister. She wasn't going to let Carl out of her sight for the rest of the day.

"Goin' after her," Daryl mumbled, walking off. Dale began to walk back and forth between the bodies, nervously checking each one of them after the scare they had with Beth. Lori asked Dale to take Carl to the house, relieving him of his nervous duty. He had to have been blaming himself. He gave Shane the guns. But Lin knew that she just as easily could have put Shane down. She was as much at fault as he was. And it stung. It burned like a festering wound.

The afternoon was spent digging graves. Lin helped Jimmy dig, wiping her sweat away with the sleeve of the shirt she wore. It was grueling work but it kept her busy, kept her mind blank except for the motion of digging which was as easy as breathing. Lori tugged on the end of Lin's hair, walking to the rv to get Carol and Daryl.

Lori knocked on the open door, stepping into the motorhome while Lin leaned against the side, catching her breath and pulling off her outer shirt.

"They're ready." Carol didn't move. "Come on."

"Why?" She asked.

" 'Cause that's your little girl," Daryl explained. The ceremony was for the living, not for the dead. Carol looked up at the hunter.

"That's not my little girl. That's some other thing." Carol inhaled slowly and sent her gaze back out of the window by the table. "My Sophia was alone in the woods. All this time I thought- she didn't cry herself to sleep. She didn't go hungry. She didn't try to find her way back. Sophia died a long time ago."

Carol was right, as much as Lin hated to admit it. Her throat hurt from crying. The backs of her eyes stung. Lori, getting a reaction she wasn't expecting, took a step away from the rv to return to the graves. The rv rocked and Daryl emerged as well. Lin knocked her head back to hold in the fact that she was still crying and fell into step beside him. He didn't speak but he didn't have to. Daryl tried standing off to the side, away from everyone, and of course Lin noticed. When the ceremony ended, the silence falling down on the farm again, Daryl hiked his crossbow up onto his back, feet carrying him out into the woods.

Lin wanted to follow. No one should have to be alone, especially him. She looked to Dale, her moral compass and when he nodded, Lin didn't hesitate.

Daryl was a little hard to track at first but it was only because she thought he went into the woods when all he'd really done was walk the perimeter, finding a wood shed and camping out beside it. He was sharpening a stick, probably either just of habit or to replace the arrow he kept losing.

"Daryl," she started as to not startle him. "Are you alright?"

" 'm fine," he grunted up at her.

"I don't think you are," Lin was pushing the line here but the only way to get somewhere was to push the line. And he obviously wasn't fine so what else was she supposed to do here. "I know I'm not."

"Good for you sunshine," he was deflecting. It was plain as day. Lin sighed, falling back to checking Daryl's stitches in the house.

"Daryl I saw the scars."

The hunter stopped in his tracks but he didn't turn to face her. Part of her wished that he would.

"When I was changing your bandages I saw them. I know that you know that Ed used to hit her. Believe me when I say that we all wished that we had done something." She breathed out to regain her temper, her wits so she wouldn't just snap. "Do with that what you will, Daryl, but she's hurting now more than ever. She can't take it from you too," She swallowed her pride. "Neither of us can."

"You think I give a shit what you want?" Daryl finally snapped, waving the knife in his hand through the air.

"You gave a shit about Sophia, about getting her back to her mom. I can't make assumptions and not hurt your feelings so fuck that. I saw your scars. I know that they're personal to you. I get that. I had abuse survivors in my clinic so I know it when I see it."

"You don't know shit!" Daryl jumped up to his feet. After Shane yelling at her, she didn't flinch as hard as she thought she would. But Daryl yelling at her was still fucking awful. Her hands balled into fists at her sides. And it was a stare down, a battle of wills between Donnelly and Dixon.

"Yeah," she finally sighed. "I guess I don't. Yell at me all you fucking want but don't you dare take this out on Carol. She lost her daughter." Daryl was silent and Lin thought for once that she'd rendered him speechless. "You've got your chance here, Dixon and you're letting it go."

He stepped closer, breaking any personal space barrier there would have been between them. The light of the setting sun painted half of her face in a golden glow. "Pissin' me off with your fuckin' angel eyes, you know that?" He finally spoke. It caught Lin completely off guard, enough so that it was obvious on her face when Lori found the pair. She released a breath, a shaking exhale to the tune of her sister's voice.

"Listen, Beth's in some kind of catatonic shock. We need Hershel."

"Yeah," Daryl muttered. "So what?"

"So I need you to run into town real quick and bring him and Rick back." Daryl didn't say anything more and that was an answer within itself.

"I'll do it," Lin told her sister.

"No, I wasn't asking you." Lori reverted to big sister mode. "Daryl?"

"Your bitch went window shopping," Daryl's fingers tightened around the stick in his hand. "I got better things to do."

"Why would you be so selfish?" Lin had no idea what was happening.

"Selfish? Listen to me, Olive Oyl. I was out there lookin' for that little girl every single day. I took a bullet and an arrow in the process. Don't you tell me about me getting my hands dirty!"

Lin stepped between them. "What did I say?" She reminded him.

"You want those two idiots? Have a nice ride. I'm done lookin' for people."

They weren't going anywhere with Daryl, that much was certain. So Lin told Lori again that she would do it. Lin knew her better than anyone. Daryl said no so she'd do it herself and there was no way in hell Lin was letting her go alone. Any stupid decision she would make, Lin would do it with her, just like old times.

Lori packed her gun and the map, dropping them both in Lin's lap to look at in the passenger seat. "Just like spring break," Lin hummed to which Lori laughed once and hit her arm. They were looking for a bar in town so Lin began to unfold the map to find the best route. She wasn't Glenn who magically knew every route by heart because of his pizza delivering days.

"There should be a turn off soon." Lin pointed a finger as where she thought they were on the map, judging on where the Greene farm had been marked. Lori stole a glance and then looked back at the road.

"Lin, you've got that upside down."

"What?" Lin turned it. "No I don't."

"Yes you do." Lori reached for the map to turn it the right way, taking her eyes off the empty road. A walker, drawn to the noise of the engine, ambled out onto the road, right in the path of the car.

Lin yanked the map away from Lori, the top fold falling down and revealing the walker Lori was driving toward.

"Lori!" She couldn't jerk the wheel in time, the car hitting the walker head-on. It shattered the front window, obscuring Lin's vision out of the car and forcing her to close her eyes against the glass splinters. Lori lost all control of the car, the wheel moving against her will and carrying them into the ditch. It hit some of the dirt collected there, hopping up and flipping over once, then twice.

When Lori opened her eyes again, it was night. The sun had set, draping cool darkness over the road. The walker that she'd hit was pressed against the glass, forcing its way through the crack it was responsible for. She whipped her head to the side, hand reaching for Lin who had yet to wake up.

"Lin!" She tried, shaking her. "Lindsey!" She still hadn't budged. Lori thought the worst for seconds until Lin's chest rose with each inhale she took. She was alive still. But the blood dripping from the cut above her eyebrow was thick and the cut was nasty. It just kept bleeding.

The walker pushed itself further into the car, the shattering glass pulling the rotting skin of its face off. Lori reached for Lin again, leaning across the front seat for her knife. Her finger caught the edge of it, a gasp leaving her lips as it was just out of her reach. It was right there, so close yet she couldn't grab it. The walker's hand slipped past the glass, tangling into Lori's hair and pulling her towards it. Lori screamed at the pain but the action got her closer to Lin and then her sister's knife was in her hands and then it was through the walker's eye. Lori jerked away from it, pulling her hair back.

"Lindsey, come on." Lori shook her sister's shoulders, trying to just get her to wake up. Her seatbelt was the only thing still holding her to the seat but until she woke up and could say that she was okay, she wouldn't dare move her. No one knew they were out. No one except Daryl. God, she was so stupid.

With the car on its side like it was, the driver's side door was hard to open but not impossible. Lori eased out of it, standing up beside the car to come up with any kind of plan as to get them back to the camp. The car was totaled so that wasn't an option. She was midthought when hands clamped down onto her shoulders, the snarl of a walker drawn to the crash vibrating against her ear. She yelped, falling down onto the cement with the walker behind her. She scrambled for something, anything to kill the walker. Except Lin's knife was stuck in another walker and her gun was in the car. Her gun.

Lori shoved the walker down with a carefully placed hit with the hub cap from the car. And then she dove for the gun, cocking it as the walker charged her. The walker stepped closer and then Lori fired the gun, sending it down for good. Inside the car, Lin jerked awake, her chest restricted by the taut seatbelt.

She groaned low, aiming to touch her forehead and panicking when she saw the walker head just inches from her face. "Lori?"

Lori appeared in the driver's side door, or at least where it used to be. "Lindsey," she sighed. Lin coughed when the seatbelt retracted from her chest, finally letting her breathe. "Are you okay?"

Lin chuckled. "God, is this really the time to be asking that? I feel like shit."

"Yeah, you look like it." Lori held her hand out for Lin to take. She helped her out of the wrecked car, letting her pause to get her knife back. When Lori got her sister out into the light of the moon, she could see how bad it really was. She hoped it was all topical, just the nasty cuts and nicks all over her face from the glass. Lin was limping a little bit too and it made her throat constrict. She'd done this. She'd been an idiot and put Lin in this position to get hurt. And she'd gotten hurt, bad. "Lin, I'm so sorry."

But Lin shook her head, rubbing her hand on her eyebrow because the blood was getting in her eye. "Don't you dare. I'm a dumbass with maps. It ain't your fault."

Lori sat Lin down on the edge of the overturned seat and Lin put her head against it, blood soaking into the cushion. She felt gross.

"Don't suppose we've got a knight in shining armor on our way, huh?" Lin joked, her eyes shutting slow. It made Lori's stomach churn. "We didn't tell anyone we were gone."

"Daryl knows."

Lin shook her head. "He won't come. They'll do a head count soon." She inhaled sharp to keep herself awake. "Do me a favor Lori, if it's Shane knock me out again. I don't want to look that asshole in the eyes like this."

Lori stayed silent, brushing Lin's hair back off her forehead. Lin watched her do a scan of the area, of any other walkers that would have come running when they heard the gunshot. The road was clear, for now at least.

"Lori, we can't stay out in the open like this."

"Can you walk?"

Lin huffed. "I can hobble." She groped at her leg, feeling for any kind of sprain or broken bone. And to her it felt like just a mild strain, a little pull if anything. It was nothing a night of rest couldn't cure. "Just let me use your shoulder, I'll be fine."

"So which direction?" Lori asked, taking Lin's hand and helping her stand. Lin pointed down the road to her right, toward town.

"We get them back. They'll have a car to get us back. Can't be that long of a walk."

Lori nodded, leaning close to kiss her sister's forehead. "The second you can't go any further you tell me, you hear me?"

Lin chuckled, putting a little more weight on her lame leg. "Yes mom. It'll be like high school all over again."

"When the hell did you ever get a limp in high school?"

"Oh no I didn't," as Lori began to walk, Lin tried her best to keep up with her. "But that night Rick stayed over I know you sure did."

It was Shane that found them. He'd taken a car the moment he learned that Lori was missing, tearing down the street past the wreck looking for her. Lin's head perked up at the car engine, Lori keeping her standing as Shane jumped out, not even bothering the shut the driver's door in his haste.

"Are you alright?" Shane asked Lori but couldn't help but notice the state Lin was in.

"I'm fine," Lori said. "Lin got the worst of it."

"You're not fine. I saw the wreck." Shane's hands went to Lori's sides. He clicked on his flashlight, checking her eyes. Then he did the same for Lin. No concussion, she wasn't really sure how, but all the blood made her look a whole lot worse than she probably was. "What happened?"

"Both looked at the map and hit a walker," Lin provided for him.

"Next time stay put, you won't need a map. Come on, I gotta get you back." Shane took Lori's hand, leaving Lin to stand on her own. She winced, shifting all of her weight onto her good leg.

"No, we gotta find Rick," Lori didn't let Shane move her away from her sister.

"We need to get Hershel. He knows more about Beth than I do." Lin wished she could have helped. Beth was Hershel's daughter. He knew best for her.

"He's back. They're all back." Lin's shoulders wilted in relief. "They're all safe and sound."

Which was a total lie.

When he pulled up to the farm, Dale spotted Lin's bloody face through the car window. He pulled the door open for her, pulling her against his chest, blood and all.

"Are you alright? What happened?" He didn't care that her blood was soaking slowly into his shirt. He had more anyway. Lin shook her head but didn't push him away because him just holding her there was pulling the weight off of her leg.

"A stupid accident. I promise I look worse than it is." At the moment she said that, her leg gave way. Dale dipped with her, hooking his arm around her knees to lift her up. She rested her head against his chest, too exhausted to do anything more.

"Well you look like shit."

He carried her up into the house, setting her down in the living room to get cleaned up. Shane had lied again to Lori, saying that Rick and everyone was back when they were far from it.

"Fuckin' asshole," Lin groaned as Dale dabbed the blood away from her eye. She didn't care who heard, didn't care that Patricia had a rule of no cursing in the house. She just wanted to be as far away from Shane as she could get. Which she didn't get because Shane followed Lori into the house. And he'd outed the baby news for everyone to hear. God, this just kept getting worse and worse.

Her forehead was as clean as it was going to get and butterfly bandaged shut. The rest of the little cuts had been cleaned up too. Her limp was still a problem but she knew it wasn't anything major.

"Where's Daryl?" Lin asked, leaning against the railing of the porch, her lame leg bent at the knee.

"He moved his stuff out by the firewood. He's been there all night," Andrea pointed out to the dim light from the fire he'd made.

"And Carol?"

"In the rv."

Lin nodded. "Thanks." She pushed away from the railing, walking over to the steps.

"Are you sure you should be up and walking like that?"

Lin shrugged. "I'll be fine. The worst he'll do is yell. I can take that after this morning." Andrea grit her teeth at the mention of Shane being a total asshole. He had been in the wrong, throwing things in her face that he shouldn't have.

"Be careful?" Was all Andrea settled for.

"Me?" Lin gestured to her beat up form. "Always."

Daryl looked up from his fire when Lin stepped on a twig he'd purposefully set out for anyone that came walking over to his space. She crossed her arms over her chest, limping closer to him. He stood from where he'd been sitting. She looked like shit, beat up and her shirt all bloody. The butterfly closure wrapped around her eyebrow and in the light of the crackling fire he could see the blood in her eyelashes.

"The hell are ya doin'?"

Lin spread her arms, leaning to compensate for just how bad her leg hurt after walking across the entire field in one go. "I said you'd be here to tell me that you told me so, so here I am." She did that weak slow blink again and he felt his chest tighten. "Just lay it on me, Dixon, before I beat you for yelling at Carol."

Daryl sniffed, the feeling he had when Carol told him that Lin and Lori were still out rising back up in his throat. He'd been the one to say no and now here she was, hurt and limping because he hadn't gotten up off his ass to look for Rick. Too damn helpful, Lin was. Too goddamn helpful. He crossed the space in as little steps as possible and much to her surprise, he hugged her.

He lifted her a bit off the ground, wrapping his arms tight around her, a hand holding her head and the other around her waist.

"Stupid fuckin' accident," he grumbled. Lin knew he meant her getting hurt but so much more had been just accidents. Too much of the past few days had been stupid accidents.

"It's okay," Lin replied, cautiously hugging him back. He just held her there, before the fire. Lin didn't ask and he didn't tell. For them, in that one moment, it was enough.

an: double update because it's halloween and no one is trick or treating in my neighborhood because it's 40 degrees out??? you know it. i think this book is a big ol source of my heartbreak right now because i love lin and daryl (laryl??? darsey???) so much and as i watch more of the walking dead and the new episodes i get more and more ideas and i have so much planned like you have no idea. (it also doesn't help that im infinitely attracted to norman reedus)

i hope you enjoyed the double update, watch the new episode on sunday, and ill see you in the next part!!