"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But, you can either run from it or learn from it."

~The Lion King

Kelsey and Ethan pulled into the sandy parking lot of El Matador Beach.

"Shall we?" Ethan asked, his tone bright, but forced.

Kelsey unbuckled and got out, leaving her shoes in the car.

They hiked up a sandy boardwalk that had grass waving across its edges.

When they crested the hill, Kelsey's breath was taken away.

A cool breeze caressed her warm face as the sky blazed red and yellow and orange across that vast, glorious horizon.

The water shimmered beneath the sun, like someone had spilled glitter across a velvet cloth.

"Wow," was all she could say.

They found a spot on the beach and sat for a while, watching the sun take its time sliding down the sky.

Kelsey kept waiting for Ethan to say something, but every time she glanced at him, he was watching the ocean.

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. "Ethan..."

He licked his lips and dropped his head a little. "I...I wasn't trying to lie to you. I don't know what you and Becca talked about, but I know how she is. And it doesn't matter. I should've been more honest with you before."

Kelsey stayed quiet, turning her attention back towards the horizon, figuring it was best to just let him talk.

"I went down a bad road," he sighed. "One moment I was sleeping in my uncle's attic, living off of In-N-Out, and singing my heart out at every show. And the next I was having a tux thrown at me before I walked the red carpet. I was sixteen, and had all this success piled on top of me at once. Before I knew it, everyone thought I was the greatest thing in the cosmos, I was rolling in more money than any kid should be making, and I had everything I wanted."

His jaw clenched and he watched the sky, squinting as if it were bright, or as if he were in pain. "My parents tried to get me to come home, but I thought I was better than a small town in Iowa. As soon as I was eighteen," he gestured forward, "I was out. I bought a house here. You think Becca's place was big?" He shook his head, but didn't elaborate. "And so, I just lived life as if every second was a party. Whatever Becca did, I did. She tried to watch out for me, but after a while, we just automatically did everything together."

He paused for a stifling moment and he kept rubbing his hands together and glancing down.

"I did everything imaginable—before I knew it, I met Althea at an after-party and we were living together. Then my mom got cancer," he said, "and I drank every night to try and get rid of the guilt I felt. It's humiliating." His words were angry and Kelsey could tell he was still mad at himself. "In reality, I was just drowning. Running."

"So I haven't always been like how I am now," he said. "I was selfish, rude, arrogant. A typical product of fame."

Kelsey swallowed before venturing to ask the question burning in her mind. "What happened? With Althea?"

Ethan glanced up at her, a scared expression crossing his features for a second. "Um, well, we were together for almost four years. We broke up a year ago. It ended horribly," he gulped and looked down at the sand. "We uh—we got into an argument. I was wanting to go out with some friends, and she wanted me to stay and go to her brother's birthday party. He was turning seven."

Ethan uttered a shallow laugh and shook his head. "Pretty selfish, huh? Anyway, it was an explosion, basically, and I left to stay in a hotel. We said we hated each other. And that was that. I woke up two days later, and my agent called me. He told me that Althea had spilled the entire story on a late night talk show—and added a few more details. Apparently I had threatened her, left her without any money, and locked her out of the house."

Kelsey gasped.

Ethan gave a sad smile. "Yeah. After we fought that night, I guess I thought we'd be okay, you know? Couples get in fights, and I assumed we'd make up. I never thought Althea would do something like that, but then I realized I would've done the same thing if it was the other way around. It's embarrassing, but I really think I would've spited someone like that. It was the first time I saw who Althea really was, and who I was too."

His jaw worked furiously as he stared holes into the ground.

Kelsey wanted to ask so many questions, but instead leaned closer. She rubbed her thumb against his jacket and spoke quietly. "You've told me more than enough. I'm so sorry."

"It's no excuse for how I've treated you," he said. "I was no better than Althea or Becca, and you should've known that."

"But you're not like that now," Kelsey chided. "You've changed. Everyone deserves a second chance, and it sounds to me like you've used yours wisely."

Ethan looked up, unexpectedly close to Kelsey's face.

They stared at each other for a moment, and Ethan's eyes flickered to Kelsey's lips for half a second.

Kelsey dropped her hand from his shoulder and looked down, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She cleared her throat and turned her attention back to the ocean. "But uh, why didn't you tell me before?"

"It's not an easy thing to admit," Ethan deadpanned. "I was a horrible jerk to everyone because I thought I was better than them. I let a girl destroy me for four years, and—" He bit the inside of his cheek and looked away. "—as much as I hate to admit it, I'm still not over her."

Kelsey blinked and subconsciously leaned away. "You still love her?"

"No," he said quickly. "No, I don't love her. But, long story short, we never ended it officially. I guess what I meant to say is that it still hurts."

"Oh," Kelsey said, still trying to process it all.

"The last year has just been a blur," he said, as if he were still trying to sort it out. "I've been trying to get so far away from who I was, that sometimes I don't even know who I am."

"You're still running," Kelsey said softly, "maybe one day you'll find a reason to stop."

The sun had set a while ago, and there wasn't a sound except for the roll of waves against the sand.

"Do you forgive me, Kelsey?" Ethan asked quietly.

Kelsey turned her head to smile at him. "I suppose."

His face finally relaxed. "Really?"

"Of course. If there's one thing I've learned from being in California, it's that it changes people. But they don't have to be corrupt forever. There's still hope."

They didn't speak for a long time, but they both knew that they were good.

This time it was a comfortable, thoughtful silence.

There was so much going through Kelsey's head that she didn't know how to sort it out. Relief made her muscles relax for the first time. Ethan hadn't murdered anyone or dealt drugs or cheated.

He'd fallen into this strange, deceptive world. Kelsey knew, deep down, that it was an easy thing to do. She thought of Sandy and Becca. They'd embraced what fame and fortune California had to offer without remorse. Ethan had only narrowly escaped the same fate.

Kelsey felt bad for him. Four years was a long time to be with someone...and to have Althea stab him in the back was undoubtedly a blow that was hard to recover from.

And had Ethan almost kissed her?

She brushed that thought away as quickly as it came.

After five minutes or so, Kelsey pulled out her phone. "No text from Sandy."

Ethan sat up. "Wanna go say hi to Roadkill for a bit?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally! Answers! 

~Were you surprised at Ethan's backstory?

~Thoughts on his past?

~General comments on the chapter?

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